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Monday Part 2

beginagain22 Member Posts: 99
edited February 2022 in Just Diagnosed

I was not really interested in joining your club. I thought the dues were a little high and the activities seemed a bit more time consuming than I was ready to commit to. I guess I forgot that some things are not in my control. My GP called this afternoon: Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, Nottingham grade 3. Size 11 millimeters. My GP said there is no sign of lymph node involvement but we have lab work still to come back. No hormone information yet. I see an oncologist on 02/22/22. I have a call in to a breast surgeon. I am surely having a bad dream.


  • lalbo
    lalbo Member Posts: 68

    BeGinagain22 - Welcome to the club no one wants to be in.

    You are fortunate to have found this community early on.

    I found there is a lot of good information here on these boards. Sometimes almost overwhelming.

    At the end of the day, this is YOUR cancer. Make decisions for yourself. My boss, who had gone through this 17 years ago, told me that and it was priceless.

    You are your own best advocate.


  • salamandra
    salamandra Member Posts: 703

    The beginning is very hard! wishing you as easy a path through as possible

  • mountainmia
    mountainmia Member Posts: 857

    Thanks for letting us know. That really stinks. Stay in this thread for awhile, ask questions as they come up. You can update your post at the top when you get hormone info. We will help you find the resources you need.


  • beginagain22
    beginagain22 Member Posts: 99

    Thanks. Telling my husband was rough. He was in tears and kept saying our family would not survive without me. Is it normal for people to think you are dying when you tell them you have breast cancer? Am I in danger of imminent death? Do they know something I don’t? I guess I was prepared for this. The way the radiologist acted at the biopsy, I felt like she was telling me without telling me. So I was not surprised when my doctor called today. I feel positive about what I know so far tho. It doesn’t sound to me like I should be planning my wake. Am I missing something or is this what happens when you tell people? If I was independently wealthy, I think I would take a sabbatical to Switzerland, deal with this and tell no one else. SMH

  • alicebastable
    alicebastable Member Posts: 1,926

    Never try to read what you think a doctor or technician has on their mind - especially in the age of masks! It could be a bad breakfast, a stubborn child who made them late, a cranky patient before you, a sick relative.

  • rrobin0200
    rrobin0200 Member Posts: 78

    yeah, we really didn’t want you to join either. 😘 But, since you’re here, we’ll accept you and treat you well.

    On a more serious note, we ARE glad you’re here. Clearly wish this was a different type of forum, but hey, the information and support that you’ll receive here is so helpful. Please reach out to anyone of us.. we’ve been there, done that. We can voice our opinions, give you suggestions, and just basically help you along the way.

    The waiting, for me anyway, was the worst part of it all. I swear in my second life I’ll reinvent the cancer diagnosis process. The not knowing, the what ifs, the uncertainty of it all can be overwhelming at times. You’re not alone.

    Try to keep yourself busy right now. Make a list of questions to ask your doctor. If you can, (stupid Covid) bring another set of eyes and ears to your appointments. Sometimes when you feel overwhelmed, you’ll miss something and that extra person will be able to either reiterate what the doc says, or will have additional questions that you inadvertently didn’t ask.

    I wish nothing but the best for you.

  • mountainmia
    mountainmia Member Posts: 857

    Imminent death? Not likely. This is what you said: "Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, Nottingham grade 3. Size 11 millimeters." So it's invasive, meaning it is actually cancer. That's important. Grade 3 means aggressive. BUT it's small. 11mm is 1.1centimeters. That means it's less than half an inch. You'll find out more soon. For now, though, remember it's small.

  • wondering44
    wondering44 Member Posts: 247

    It is great that your spouse feels so much with your dx. Let your spouse know today is the day he becomes the ROCK of support in the family. Yep, it is that time. Today is your day to break apart. Tell your spouse you may need more than one day off to adjust to the newness of life with cancer.

    Glad that you have found this club since you are required to join one. The dues to join this club are high. I don't know anyone that wants to volunteer in a BC club.

    Try not to read too much into the expressions of the Radiologist. Some are great at their work, and some are not. You won't know which bag of cookies you got gifted until you get the full pathology from surgery.

    Right now, the pathology is showing 11 mm, which is good. It sounds like you have a caring and supporting spouse, which is excellent. And you found a great club full of outstanding and supportive women to help guide you through a challenge no one should have to go through alone.

    Sending hugs your way.

  • edwards750
    edwards750 Member Posts: 1,568

    We all feel your pain getting a BC DX but you should know they have come a long way in research and treatments since I was DX in 2011. It’s no longer a death sentence.

    You can do this - we are proof of that. Let me second that you don’t read anything into doctor’s expressions much less any expiration predictions. I made the mistake of doing that with a tech’s looks and it came back and bitme.

    Just be sure you have confidence in your medical team. They will be such an integral part of your treatments before, after and during. Neither my BS or my MO had much of a bedside manner but they were very well respected and competent.

    So keep the faith and keep us posted.


  • beginagain22
    beginagain22 Member Posts: 99

    Hi All,

    Thank you for the kind words, they are very helpful. I see the BS on Monday and the MO on Tuesday but I still know nothing about my pathology other than grade 3 and 11 MM. Will they have that information when I go? What can I expect from the initial appointments with these doctors? I really thought I would have pathology before I saw them, but what do I know, I'm just a cancer newbie. Help me out if you have any information on what to expect from these appointments or how long it takes to get biopsy patholgy back.


  • sarahmaude
    sarahmaude Member Posts: 319

    What you said about the radiologist telling you without telling you. That's the same for me. My biopsy was on Tuesday. On Wednesday I made up my mind it was likely positive because I could see the mass on my ultrasound, I can feel the lump, and I couldn't find another good reason for all that to be there.

    I was really glad I found the guide to pathology, so I knew what some of the lab results meant. I'm just trying to breathe and balance hyperfocusing on this "new me" without losing myself in information overload.

    I'll be watching for your updates. I didn't want to join this club. Frankly, never imagined it. No one in my family had cancer under the age of 70. No BC. Sigh. At least there IS a club, so I don't feel like a freak.

  • beginagain22
    beginagain22 Member Posts: 99

    I hear you SarahMaude, no BC in my family either other than a great, great aunt in her 80’s. I am getting the impression from my reading that heredity, although important is not a major factor in most cases. It has also been enlightening (read scary) to learn how many things can be missed by mammograms. I guess we have to be thankful for the tools we have though. The thing with the radiologist could have been in my head but I definitely felt something from her manner. Hopefully I will know more Monday and Tuesday with the doc appointments. Take care and best wishes!

  • sarahmaude
    sarahmaude Member Posts: 319


    I hope you have good news at your doctor appointments next week. I’ve got some next week also. Trying hard to enjoy the time in between and not being completely unsuccessful! Have been working on a quilt and made a batch of muffins from a box this morning. Need to do some of my other normal activities. Being busy does help.

  • findingoptimism
    findingoptimism Member Posts: 31

    The website has some good information about the surgery options, I found the section with questions to ask your surgeon particularly helpful. This section also outlines the expected timing of testing results. I imagine they will have the hormone statusat your appointments this week. The one question I didn't ask my surgeon, but wished I had, was her expected location of the incision. There are some good techniques for hiding scarring.

  • beginagain22
    beginagain22 Member Posts: 99

    thank you finding Optimism, those are good tips I will take you up on. SarahMaude, I am doing the same. Trying to stay busy and out of trouble. Watched my mom compete in Wii bowling at the VFW today, it was a hoot. Good luck with your appointments this week