Lost my job...am I being selfish?
I started a new job and then was diagnosed with stage1 breast cancer. I had a lumpectomy and oncoplastic reduction, and weeks of radiation still to do. My employer let me go a week after the reduction because I wasn't sure when I could return to full capacity. It's a small company.
I guess I'm looking for insight and validation. I'm fortunate our family will be ok without my income for a bit but my bosses comments made me feel guilty for taking time for myself.
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I think you need to see if you crappy boss broke the law by letting you go. Check what your state's labor laws are for circumstances like yours. Why on earth would you feel guilty? Your boss was a prick.
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I agree with alicebastable. It's possible that was illegal. Here's a link to the Family and Medical Leave Act info. Good luck, and stop feeling guilty for needing time off.
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Hi 2sdbc,
We're so very sorry for what you're going through. We agree, you may have some legal standing to take action. Here's some more info on Recognizing and Responding to Cancer Discrimination at Work.
We hope this helps!
--The Mods
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Thanks. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I'm trying to channel the energy I have into healing but I will put aside the guilt best I can.
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Hi 2sdbc. I hope you are doing okay after this situation. I received a call for a job interview on the day of my biopsy and interviewed for the position before I received my results. This was when I was still pretty sure it was going to be nothing like my sister and other friends. I received the job offer before knowing what treatment would be. I thought I could start maybe after recovery from lumpectomy. But later, I couldn't figure out how to fit radiation into the schedule with a new job. In the end, I declined the offer in order to prioritize my health care. I felt guilty in that I delayed my start date twice and then withdrew from the offer. I let go of that pretty quickly because I'm just trying to take care of myself. My opinion is that if people don't understand the impact of a cancer diagnosis either don't know what is involved or likely struggle with empathy and compassion. I think these are difficult decisions, and everyone has to make them based on their own circumstances. My family was okay because we have been doing without my income since the start of the pandemic while I was in grad school. In my case they said they would be glad to have me in the future after I get through treatment, if they have any open positions. I am grateful that the door remains open, even though I am unlikely to walk through it. But, alas, I am not a fortune teller. ;-)
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I was diagnosed with invasive ductal breast cancer on the right side in January 2022. On February 25, 2022, I had a mastectomy on my right breast, and the law firm where I worked as VP of Operations and HR replaced me within two weeks of my surgery without telling me. Employees started calling me to inform me. I tried to hire an attorney, but no one would take my case because it didn’t involve an insurance payout. I felt hurt, betrayed, lost, and disgusted, twice over. I called several law firms to sue as I am over 40 and the person, they hired was 31 and fired me while out with breast cancer and no one would take the case. One firm went as far to tell me law firms do not have money and there is no insurance for payments.
Fast forward, that firm has since filed for bankruptcy and is now under federal investigation. However, two attorneys left, and we started a new firm. I trusted them and thought there was still some good in this world, but that lasted about 10 seconds. In June 2024, I was diagnosed with lobular and ductal cancer on my left breast and had a mastectomy on September 24, 2024. Yesterday, they asked me to come into the office and fired me, but they want me to train them on how I handle accounting and other tasks. They’re offering to pay me for the next 30 days and "possibly" until the end of the year if I don’t sue. But I know what is in the bank account.
I seriously wanted to yank out my drains and splatter them all over him. They say there’s help out there, but the paperwork and applications are such that you get absolutely nothing. I am saddened, disgusted, and at a loss.
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Oh @jonesc2025, we are so sorry to hear what you've gone through! As if two cancer diagnoses aren't enough, having to also manage the stress of job loss and the feelings of betrayal we're sure you are experiencing is so much to carry. We're so angry on your behalf, and we hope you're able to find someone with experience dealing with violations of the American's with Disabilities Act who can help you navigate righting these wrongs. The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission has information on how people with cancer are protected under the ADA, and resources for getting help if you've been unfairly discriminated against.
We also hope your treatment and recovery are going well, and that you're healing physically and emotionally. We know this is a lot to deal with, but you're not alone.
The Mods
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Thank you for responding. Unfortunately, our law firm only had four employees, and the EEOC will not allow me to file a charge against them. I tried, but essentially, this horrible company gets away with it and still hasn’t paid me. I have tried all sorts of avenues, and it feels like no one cares or wants to help. It’s incredibly frustrating, and I feel like if I walked across the border, I might even get more support. There has to be something done about this. It’s truly horrible.
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@jonesc2025 Have you contacted Triage Cancer? They have great resources that might be able to help:
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