Gift ideas anyone? 5- year anniversary coming up
Hello everyone.
This June 3 will mark 5 years since my wife was diagnosed with Stage 2A breast cancer (invasive ductal carcinoma, ER/PR positive Her 2 negative) and papillary thyroid cancer. I won't soon forget the terror we felt in early June 2019, what with test results pending and not knowing where it was all going.
It has since been a wild ride, with 2 surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation therapy and hormone therapy and more.
Life is hardly "back to normal", but we are managing the demands of my career and raising 2 children.
I'd like to get her something to commemorate the 5 year anniversary and celebrate her strength, and would be grateful for any ideas. Thinking jewellry at this point. Look forward to any and all replies. Maybe there is someone out there who could share a gift they received that they especially liked.
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Very personal decision. Have you asked her how she feels generally about cancer-related commemorative gifts and celebrations?
Don't want to discourage you, I may be an unusual case on this. I am 6 years out of a Stage 2B diagnosis and, deeply thankful as I am for every day that passes without my cancer returning (I am high risk of recurrence), I haven't done, and will not do, any celebrations explicitely related to my cancer, ever, with anybody. Plenty of other things to celebrate, all of which have a deeper meaning for me after cancer, btw.
I did what I had to do go get through treatment, as anybody would -nothing heroic to commemorate. It's not like I found the cure for cancer, or that I have a guarantee to not see my cancer return and kill me before I see my kids become adults. Things may change any minute.
If my husband showed up with some cancer-commemorating jewelry, I would make him return it immediately. And I would not appreciate any special dinner or event focused on my cancer!
Just my two cents.
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I am with laughing gull on this one. Yes, I know when my cancer was dx’ed and I am very grateful for my survival. I note the occasion, maybe mention it to close family or friends but celebrating doesn’t seem the right thing for me. This is just me and you know your wife so if you think this is something she would appreciate, go for it!
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Hello @vidal1993. Five years! You’ve both been through so much. It’s a milestone worth noting!! I keep trying to remember how much this is affecting my husband too but sometimes I’m just turned inwards to myself. I love that you want to celebrate with your wife, to acknowledge her strength and all she’s been through. I’m not even at the one year mark so I have no idea if I’ll feel celebratory or not (but I’m guessing not, just knowing me). However, a sweet gift at any time would be welcome by me, but maybe just not connected to a cancer anniversary. I think I understand what others are saying here. I’d like my husband to get me a silk robe. Something luxurious that I will never splurge on for myself, cancer or not.
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@vidal1993 I think your heart is in the right place! For my one year post BMX (my husband, kids and I went out for dinner). I wanted to do something special with them to remember the day that the cancer was removed. Also gave my kids a chance to ask any questions about the topic. I bought myself a breast cancer lapel pin and I wear that at work to spread awareness. That's about it!
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I finished treatment 8 months ago, and if I make it 5 years, I would love a trip to Disney World! Not holding my breath though lol. You sound like a really thoughtful and loving husband.
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Thank you to everyone who replied.
The responses have made me reconsider things and given me greater insight.
Five years ago we were very lucky to have our neighbors support us with food, babysitting when my wife went through the intensive parts of her treatment.
We seem to be isolated in the community now and I was hoping an event might renew those relationships. Of course a lot of other things have gone on, COVID, etc.
Maybe I'll get her something but ensure it doesn't focus on the cancer or any sort of anniversary.
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