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Newly diagnosed. Stage 3 and grade 2. Anyone?

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bossmom24
bossmom24 Member Posts: 48

my preliminary biopsy results came back yesterday. IDC, locally advanced to one confirmed lymph node completed replaced with cancer. They said moderately differentiated (grade 2?). I feel this is overall stage 3, as my tumor is 3.5cm, but the disease in my breast extends to 5.3cm. I guess that means it’s spread to the tissue around it? I’m confused and so scared. I’ve been posting all over. I have to wait another week for an appt with a local breast surgeon and then have a 2nd appt with another breast surgeon at an nci cancer center the following week. The more detailed biopsy results have not come in yet.

I’m only 39. I have 4 kids, youngest is just 1 year old. I can’t help but feel like I’m going to die and leave them without their mom. I’m really struggling. Anyone else with this advanced stage? I’m panicking that it’s spread to my arm cause it’s been hurting lately, or my my liver which has higher than normal levels. My mind is spiraling. I’m scared about finances, how to keep working for health insurance, telling my kids (ages 1-11), losing my hair and breast (which I know won’t be able to be reconstructed), everything. I just want to scream and cry and break things. Every sports event and concert I go to with my kids I feel like it’s the last one. I just look at pictures of before this diagnosis and how happy and perfect everything was. It will never be the same. Please tell me it gets better. That I can beat stage 3 and it won’t come back. That it’s not really stage 4 hiding somewhere. I need to hear the good right now.

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  • ars31178
    ars31178 Member Posts: 11
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    I am so sorry that you are going through this. I am fairly new to the boards, as I was diagnosed in October 2023. Have you gotten back your tumor markers yet, like whether it is hormone positive or negative. I totally understand the spiraling, I did the same thing. But, take a deep breath!! Once you get your treatment plan, it will be a lot better. Like I said, I am new to this but I do know there are a lot of women on here that are Stage 3 and had heavy lymph node involvement and are years out from their diagnosis. I am sure some will respond on this. Don't be afraid to contact your dr and get something to help with the stress and anxiety. I had never used Xanax before, but I did help me calm down while waiting for all the results and treatment plan. Not googling, staying busy and this website also helped a lot.

  • bossmom24
    bossmom24 Member Posts: 48
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    thank you. I am on Xanax but I don’t feel that it’s working. I am so mad, I can’t believe I didnt catch this at an earlier stage. I was too busy taking care of my babies to notice anything. My tumor markers have not come back yet. They tried to order the preliminary results stat, but the others take longer I guess.

  • kaynotrealname
    kaynotrealname Member Posts: 407
    edited April 26
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    One confirmed lymph node does not make you stage 3 first of all but even if you are yes, there is still so much reason to hope! You will get chemo and radiation I'm pretty sure but most of us do fine afterwards and go on to make a complete recovery. And if you are hormone positive, you have endocrine therapy at your disposal which is the big guns in treatment. Plus there are other recent drugs that have come out like verzenio. Granted this isn't going to be fun but you have so little info right now. The one thing I would suggest you do is to get some therapy. Consider that another doctor you need to have for survival. It can make a world of difference in how you process.

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 8,089
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    Hi @bossmom24,

    First, we're so sorry to hear of your diagnosis, but glad you've established some relationships here in our amazing community — we're all here for you! We know it can be so hard to not jump to worst-case scenario when there is still so much information up in the air, but try to stay calm until you know more about what you're dealing with. As you learn more, you'll get a treatment plan in place and start to feel a little better about what's ahead.

    To understand how breast cancer is staged a little more, we wanted to share this article with you:

    We've got lots of other great info on Covering the Cost of Your Care and Talking to Children About Your Diagnosis, when you're ready to read it. But for now, concentrate on getting your pathology report and setting up your treatment plan. We'll all help you along the way!

    Sending hugs,

    —The Mods

  • malleemiss251
    malleemiss251 Member Posts: 228
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    Hi @bossmom24, the very best advice I can give you is to take one step at a time and be kind to yourself. The waiting is a nightmare but once a treatment plan is in place things get better. I was diagnosed de novo stage iv in August 2023 and I take hope from the amazing advances in treatment and the options available. While we are all different and have different circumstances, everybody on these boards understands your concerns. No judgments are made here and the support is so wonderful, to say nothing of the extensive experience and knowledge that can be found on these boards. In your pocket for support.

  • bossmom24
    bossmom24 Member Posts: 48
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    Kay, I was going to reach out to a therapist but I was told that I will have a nurse assigned to me to set me up with a whole team. therapy, nutrition, social worker, reiki, I dunno. Everything I guess. They should call me Monday. Thanks everyone for listening to me vent, all my questions.

  • kaynotrealname
    kaynotrealname Member Posts: 407
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    Wonderful. It sounds like they have everything well in hand. If you can, try to enjoy your weekend and rest. Your body needs it as does your mind.