Impostor Syndrome anyone??
So I started my breast cancer journey just 3 months ago. I went for my first mammogram and within 1 month I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Despite my diagnosis, I must say that I have been blessed. The size of my tumor wasn't too big, grade 1 with no genetic mutations found in my genetic testing. A low-ish Oncotype number (17) and a tumor located high in my breast so when I did my surgery there was only one incision. None of the removed nodes had cancer so my treatment will include a short round of radiotherapy and no chemo.
I've been invited to a new support group in my community by a friend (she's the one who kinda triggered me to get that mammogram because believe it or not at 44 I'd forgotten to go for one 😬). Anyways…. I have never felt 'cancerish' enough to go. I feel like everything went so smoothly for me. I don't even need chemo. Where do I fit in with this support group?? Am I even worthy to say I'm a BC warrior? Struggled with these thoughts for a couple of weeks and still do. Is there a JR BC Association for some of us or will this feeling ease away?
Comments
-
You could attend as a support to your friend. Perhaps sharing your mammogram history might prompt others to schedule their annual appointments. Help explain oncotype scores or tumor grade - those concepts can be bewildering to some women. You are not an impostor!
I attended a local group for several years until metastatic disease appeared. COVID also put things on hold. The ladies and friendships made continue although I no longer go to their weekly meetings. Being early stage breast cancer creates an entirely different situation.
My treatments, side effects, imaging & prognosis are nothing like most of the people who have BC. Education is vital. I’m amazed at how many consider the initial diagnosis to be a death sentence. It won’t kill you until it spreads. Bone mets are survivable for quite awhile. Lung, liver, and brain are common spots for progression to show up.
1 -
Hello @marie340. I think I can understand. I still don’t feel like I had breast cancer even after having my entire breast removed! It just feels like a really strange year. Maybe because I never felt “sick”?
I am learning that we all have something to offer others in the way of support and encouragement. You may find that you can comfort others who are also going through breast cancer. Many are like us - early stage, no lymph nodes involved and no chemo needed. It definitely still counts as a cancer experience! I second what @vlnrph said “You are not an imposter!!” I feel less of that as time passes and as I am slowly processing what all I went through in the past year and how much my body has changed.
Welcome here and thank you for sharing about yourself. Many of us understand how you are feeling!!!
1 -
Imposter syndrome is a strange thing. I had terrible luck, and was diagnosed as stage IV "de novo" right out of the gate. I feel like an "imposter" for two reasons: I still feel relatively ok, still go about daily life, still work and look fine, etc. I don't feel sick enough for a terminally ill person? I am ridiculous…
But also, I didn't go through the "cancer warrior" battle that so many patients go through when they are diagnosed at a lower stage. I haven't gone through surgery (it's not recommended at this point, it wouldn't help me). I haven't gone through truly rough chemo (meds for me are focused on slowing it down, but can't eliminate the cancer).
Well, like I said… imposter syndrome is a strange thing.
I think if you go to a support group, you'll find out that you have a surprising amount in common with many other members, at various stages. You'll learn a lot, and help other members too. You might be surprised. I'd encourage you to give it a try.
1 -
This is a great topic. So right now I don't know where I stand in the recurrence world. I went though all the treatment beginning in August 2011 and once I was done, I was done. Hair grew back and moved the hell on. Well, it's back. Some breast, same ER+PR+Her2- and my life is now test after test. Oncologist says until we know there is no mets, we don't do surgery or anything other than Arimidex. I believe the last part (maybe) of the puzzle is my biopsy in 2 weeks. Every test came back fine… no bone mets, no tumor markers, not liver, lungs, brain, etc., but something lit up in my abdomen. They say this would be rare for breast mets, but then the PET report says probably metastatic. Okay, so my point… I feel fine. I am as healthy as I have ever been with good BP, low cholesterol and proper weight, but I feel gross and strange. People ask how I am at the store and I say fine thanks and then think nope not fine. Friends want to know exactly what is happening and I just make jokes and go about my usual day. The issue of course is definitely feeling like an imposter. I'm not sure I'd be of help to anyone in a group now.
0
