Find a person who would understand what I am going through.
I’m in my mid-40s and caring for my wife, who has stage 4 breast cancer. The cancer has spread to bones, then, after a few years of treatments, to the liver…, and they are now trying to enroll her in clinical trials. She’s relatively young, so I’m hoping she qualifies—but overall, it just gives you a bit of extra time.
We have kids (one is still very young) and little outside support—no family or friends nearby.
I’m not new to this; it’s been six years of battling cancer, and I’ve become both a therapist and a support system. But today, after a doctor's visit, we both feel lost and deeply sad. The hope's gone. My wife is quiet and withdrawn, and although I’ve always tried to cheer her up, maybe that’s not what she needs now. We haven’t told the kids yet, and that’s frightening.
I also feel a strong urge to talk with others—people I don’t know—especially those in their 40s with families and small kids who are dealing with metastatic (stage 4) cancer. How do you manage to get through each day, find moments of laughter, and plan for the future? How much do you share with your children?
I’m looking for someone who truly understands what I’m going through.
I know it's easier to find older people—in their 60s or 70s—and that often seems like a blessing: you’re more established, and your kids are grown. But here, my wife might not make it to 46, and our kids are still so young.
Looking for someone to share my experiences, and hear their side...
You can either reply here or message in private.
Thank you!
Nathan
Comments
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Hi @nathan_z and welcome.
We're so very sorry for the reasons that bring you here, but we're really glad you've found us. You're sure to find our Community a wonderful source of advice, information, encouragement, and support — we're all here for you!
We wanted to point out that we have a bi-weekly virtual support group for partners of those with MBC that meets every other Tuesday at 4pm ET — the next group meets next Tuesday. We'd love to have you join us so you can start getting peer support — register here: https://breastcancer-org.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZ0rcuiqqj0vH9yFHXL9FE-RcoXHzWNjuwyW
We look forward to supporting you there and here.
—The Mods
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