Breast cancer treatment and living alone
Hello,
I was recently diagnosed with BC. I live alone and fear everything that's going to happen to me. The unknown is scary. Does anyone live alone and going through chemo and everything that has to do with BC.
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Hello, you really don't need to face cancer alone. Of course, you're feeling overwhelmed. Please give yourself the time and permission to take it slowly, one baby step at a time.
If it feels difficult to cope, it's natural to feel overwhelmed. All your personal resources and energies are now getting disbursed to your BC. But it's difficult for the many people who live independently on their own, relying only on themselves for daily tasks and responsibilities.
It’s not always the same, even for patients who have an abundance of friends and family in close proximity. So please, when you feel up to it, start to reflect or dig deeper inside yourself, but dig slowly, only a little bit at a time.
Sometimes BC patients need to begin advocating for themselves by taking the first baby steps to request practical assistance, guidance or emotional support from your hospital Nurse/patient Navigator, hospital advocacy group or social services people.
Softer music, stretching, yoga, meditation and nature walks can work wonders. Please be a little kinder, softer, more patient and gentler with yourself. Please let us know how you're doing. Hugs to you and best wishes.
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I don’t live alone-so I can’t address that.
whenyou are first diagnosed, it is overwhelming and scary. I felt so much better once I had my treatment plan in place and knew what to expect.For me neither chemo or radiation were too bad. I was able to do most of my normal activities and day to day things. Every day I walked for 30-60 minutes, which helped me mentally, physically and emotionally. There were some days I did need to take a short nap in the afternoon- but luckily I never felt too bad. Hopefully it will be the same for you.
If you have friends and family close by, remember they would love the opportunity to do something (anything) to help you. And, a lot of times, people do not know what to do to help. They appreciate you giving them a specific thing to do- like could you go to the grocery store and pick up my list of things, could you come with me to thins appointment, could you bring me dinner, could you mow my lawn, etc. Ask people for what you need- they will be thrilled to do something to help!
Also, don’t hesitate to join a cancer support group or ask questions on this site. I found so much helpful information on here about what to expect, how to deal with side effects, etc. I got far more information from here than I did from my providers. People who have been through it know what is helpful.
Sending good thoughts your way as you begin your treatment
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I live alone and went through all of the initial diagnosis and treatment by myself. I had the diagnosis, then chemo, then surgery, and then radiation all on my own. A friend did drive and escort me for the mastectomy. Later, I went from stage 3 to stage 4 and at one point I was in the ER. One of the social workers there told me to always take someone with me to my appointments, etc., as it just made a world of difference, so I asked that same old friend who had driven me for my mastectomy if she would come to the appointments with me and she agreed to do it especially for the "hard core" times of biopsies, routine scans, follow-ups with the oncologist to discuss possible progression and need for treatment plan changes, etc. That social worker in the ER was right - it has made a huge difference. My friend serves as moral support and another pair of eyes and ears. I have at times called her to ask for clarification about something one of the medical people said at an appointment, i.e. "Do you remember him saying anything about …." and that's a big help in itself. She also offers occasional suggestions and a bit of a different perspective. Most of all, she is an old friend from childhood, so when we are sitting in the waiting room, etc. we can chat about all our old family and friends and the neighborhood we grew up in, etc. and it is a HUGE stress and anxiety reducer for me. Sometimes we go to lunch afterward and then I have someone to rehash the appointment with and more - even more anxiety quelling with that. When I would go to appointments by myself for chemo and those follow-ups I would often find myself just getting super stressed and overwhelmed in the waiting areas and would have to do all I could to stop myself from crying. I would be bored and lonely while I got my chemo infusions, and would just feel more "down and out". Just being able to talk to my friend now about life, current events, and old family and friends just really tamps down the stress of sitting there waiting all by myself. If I didn't have my friend, I might even pay a home health person or look for a volunteer of some kind to go with me now - just to have some company and someone to talk to; even if they aren't close personally. I would strongly recommend finding someone you can talk to and who might be able to go to at least some of the appointments with you if you can; it's the best thing I've ever done regarding all of this. I'm so sorry that you find yourself here and wish you all the best.
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Hi @nina1948,
We're just dropping in to check on you as we haven't heard much from you since your first post. You've received some great advice and support from others above and we hope you've found some solace in that.
Have you made a treatment plan with your doctors yet? Perhaps the treatments won't be as extensive as you fear, and will make things a little easier to tolerate while living alone. One step at a time!
Keep us posted with how you're doing! Thinking of you.
—The Mods
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