Mother recently diagnosed with stage 4
My mother was recently diagnosed with metastatic cancer with “innumerable” mets throughout her bones. I’m still in so much shock from the diagnosis but really thinking about how to reorganize my life to be closer to her during this time. I currently live in another country with my partner and know that we need to make some changes to be closer. I’m also deeply wrestling with the “how long do we have” question as I know many of you are. Are there any people who could share their experience rearranging life for this stage of care taking?
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@ellie33 - I'm so sorry that you are in this situation. It must be exceptionally hard being in another country. I personally can't offer any of the life experience information you are looking for, but I'm sure there are others on these boards who can. You have come to a good place to look for help and shared experiences. You might try posting on some of the more specific threads for stage 4, and others. Look through the topics list and you might find a number of areas that apply to your specific situation. There's a lot for stage 4, but I don't know how much for living in other places, especially other countries, and dealing with a family member's new diagnosis. You have my sincere sympathies, and I wish you and your mother all the best.
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Hi @ellie33 ,
We're so sorry you're facing this. A diagnosis like this can turn your world upside down in an instant, and we can only imagine how difficult it must be to be processing all of this while living in another country.
The urge to immediately figure out "how long do we have?" and whether you should rearrange your life is such a natural response. Many of us want something concrete to hold onto when everything suddenly feels uncertain. Unfortunately- and fortunately- metastatic cancer doesn't come with a predictable timeline, and right now there may be more unknowns than answers. Many people live for MANY years. There are so many incredible treatments,
We know that many caregivers and family members in our community have faced similar decisions about moving closer, taking leave from work, changing living arrangements, or finding ways to support a loved one from a distance. We hope some of them will share their experiences with you.
For now, it may help to take things one step at a time as your mother's doctors develop a treatment plan and you learn more about her specific situation. You don't have to have every decision figured out immediately, even though it may feel urgent.
We're glad you reached out. Please know that you're not alone here, and we're holding you, your mother, and your family in our thoughts as you navigate these first difficult days.
Warmly,
The Mods 💗2
