Made it 8 1/2 years - Abnormal MRI for the other side

amh7838

I know this place isn't what it used to be. I don't know why I'm posting here other than I'm so scared, and dealing with this completely alone.

2018 - age 39 - diagnosed Stage 3C, Grade 3, IDC, ki67 > 95%, ER+30%, PR-, Her2-, spread to Internal Mammary Node. Did 8 rounds of AC/T (Pcr supposedly), lumpectomy despite my protests (I wanted a BMX at the time), 7 weeks radiation, then had my ovaries removed rather than take the AIs. I have not handled any of this well. There was no mental health support, my oncologist at the time told me "It's probably already metastasized, we just don't know where yet" when I asked what stage 3C meant. That is the phrase that has stuck with me. Basically I've been sitting around waiting for the other shoe to drop for over 8 years now. My husband checked the F out of our marriage, but we're still together because health insurance. My family thinks my hair grew back = everything's fine, so I can't call them.

Yesterday I had my routine MRI (I alternate Mammo & MRI every 6 months). I was getting really good at doing the scans, and moving on with my day. I was even really proud of myself yesterday on how well I handled it. Got the notification that my test result was ready at 3:30 pm. So I log in, expect to read the "all is fine, carry on" but nope, not this time.

Abnormal, Bi-Rads 4. This time in the other breast I have not one but TWO 1.2cm areas of non-mass enhancement. So I go next week for MRI guided biopsies in two different places. I did manage to get a hold of the clinic before closing, I'm on their radar, they will call me Monday to schedule the biopsy. I briefly looked at the stats, but stats don't mean much to me based on what happened the first time.

If there's anyone out there that has been through something similar I'd love to hear from you. I'm just so alone, and so scared, and don't think I can do all of that again, and just didn't know where else to turn. TIA <3

moderators

@amh7838 we’re so very glad you came here and posted. And you’re right, this Community isn’t quite the same place it used to be. We know that, and we’re working on it. But we hope it can still be a place where you don’t have to feel quite so alone.

What really comes through in your post is just how much you’ve been carrying by yourself. That comment from your oncologist was a terrible thing to have lodged in your mind all these years, and it makes so much sense that this MRI result would bring all of that fear rushing right back. And to be dealing with it without the support you need at home or from your family makes an already frightening wait so much harder.

You were also right to be proud of yourself yesterday. You walked into that MRI after everything you’ve been through, got through it, and were able to move on with your day. This result doesn’t take that away.

We really hope others who have been through an abnormal MRI, non-mass enhancement, or MRI-guided biopsies will see this and share their experiences. In the meantime, please keep coming back here, even if it’s simply to say you’re scared or that today is a hard day. You don’t have to make it sound better than it is.

We’re here, we’re listening, and we’re really glad you reached out. ❤️

The Mods