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  • MSNOMORELUMPS
    MSNOMORELUMPS Posts: 44
    edited December 2010

    Yes, the feedback really helped me. I mean how many chances in life do we get to play 'Rate my Rack?' But in my thread, I know what I thought & how I felt about my breats, I just really needed to see if anyone saw what I saw. I also felt that my complaining really didn't make any sense, unless they had a visual. I'm so glad I posted them. I would have never thought I would ever do anything like that. Especially with being at the most vulnerable point in my life. I just put them out there, lopsided nipples & all & it was actually very freeing for me. But like the ladies told me, its a personal decision, no one forced me. I just thought I'd ask if you had any, because for some reason I can't remember anything pre-exchange. I now have implant amnesia, & it's the weirdest thing.

  • Lilah
    Lilah Posts: 2,631
    edited December 2010

    MSNOMORE -- don't fret too much about what other people think.  Mine are smaller than they were and the only reaction I get is: "you've lost weight"!  LOL  I don't think people remember the size of your breasts specifically, they just see you are smaller over all.  And you do look beautiful!

  • didel
    didel Posts: 733
    edited December 2010
    Eastcoastgirl My revision was mainly because the implants (silicone) were 1. too large my body could not support them and 2. on the mx side implant did not drop and developed a flat area to it because of scar tissue build up. So one was up high and the other was down low. It was sad looking. My PS put in smaller implants on both sides (300cc's on augmented side and 600cc's on mx side) he tightened the pocket on the left and widened the pocket on the right (mx) and added alloderm to create a pocket (sling) for the implant to sit so that it doesn't get that flattened look. I also had some cording on the mx side I think cause the previous implant was so large one of my tendons was caught up and it hurt like a B&TCH you could see the tendon strained from under my arm down to my wrist. Now that is all gone and no PT necessary to fix it!!! I just feel like the size is perfect and having the right size fixed a lot of things I was not happy with and that uncomfortable feeling I was having.
  • EastCoastGrl
    EastCoastGrl Posts: 206
    edited December 2010
    Oh I'm so glad you got that fixed! It sounds like you had a lot of troubles and are very happy now with the revision. Smile I am almost done with fills and trying to decide on size. Looks like I will be going with 600cc range. Worried about being too large but also know, with no breast tissue, it's hard to get projection with these, so don't want to end up too small for my frame either! Crazy!! Undecided
  • MBJ
    MBJ Posts: 3,671
    edited December 2010

    DiDel:  So glad everything worked out!

    MSNOMORELUMPS:  If "none of your darned business" works, there is always, you know Victoria's Secret has these amazing new contraptions, lol.  Most people don't remember how your face looks much less your breasts.  I just look better in clothes and it looks like I lost a little weight because I am more balanced.  A friend I have known for 20 years said she couldn't tell I had anything done and I went from a small B to a D, so go figure!  I wouldn't worry too much about what other people say.  Just excuse yourself and wal away or change the subject.  Or be very Jackie O and just smile.

  • MSNOMORELUMPS
    MSNOMORELUMPS Posts: 44
    edited December 2010

    MBJ & LILAH- I think I didn't explain myself well. I don't really care what people say. The way I choose to handle this BC thing was to tell myself that it was something that happened to me, but it's not going to overtake and become totally and completely who I was. It was just a small part of life in the big picture. Sort of put it in a box and dealt with it when I needed to. So when I'm out doing life, I didn't want to be a cancer patient named Khrysti, I wanted to be Khrysti who happened to have cancer at one point in her life. I figured I lived 39 years and became who I was, and this one thing was not going to change everything about me. This has been successful for me, and I was able to maintain who I was, and not go through all the 'why me's?'  I love going out and being with my friends and not having everyone ask "How's it going? How are you feeling? Staring and asking questions about the BC situation. I can totally free my mind. So I kept it quiet so that hopefully one day I won't be walking around somewhere, feeling good, and then out of the blue, someone I haven't seen in a while comes up and asks me, "So how did everything turn out?" and blindside me. I don't think that this is the way everyone needs to handle their situation, but that's how I chose to handle mine. I want to put it behind me and move on. So that's partly why I wanted to stay as close to possible to my original size. But thank you for the nice thoughts, but I wanted to clear up what I said.

  • Lilah
    Lilah Posts: 2,631
    edited December 2010

    MsNoMoreLumps -- I did the same as you.  Told only a few friends and colleagues and went through chemo and surgeries (4 of them) with my eye on my normal life.  I loved the fact that few people knew and I did not have to answer questions all the time while going through it... and now, I don't know, I feel good that I survived and I LOVE the energy I have back etc... so I do understand that and sorry I misunderstood.

    That said, I did go through a down time after exchange when it hit me and I felt very sad about what I had lost and faced the realization that reconstruction is not REPLACEMENT.  The breast is gone and a facsimile in it's place that is a pretty good replica but still not my breast (I am a uni).  The sadness did pass though... and it will for you as well. 

  • GG27
    GG27 Posts: 1,308
    edited December 2010

    I was the same as you two, I told only a few close friends & said I wanted them to talk to me the same as they always had.  At first they would complain about something & then say something like "oh but that's nothing compared to what you've been through"    Finally though we got past that & they realized I didn't want to talk about BC, I wanted to talk about everyday things that happen in life.

    I live in a very small community & never wanted to be that woman who had cancer, so I never went out without my wig on or without prosthesis, even motorcycling I took the wig & shoved it on my head when I took my helmet off.   Even when I was staying at the cancer lodge for rads, no one realized I had lost my hair.  I think that there are a lot of us out there who look at this as a small part of who we are, we are not defined by it or by how large or small our breasts are or whether they are OEM or not.

  • MSNOMORELUMPS
    MSNOMORELUMPS Posts: 44
    edited December 2010

    Oh Lilah no need to apologize.I don't think I made myself clear, and that is a logical conclusion that you guys came up with. So I will take the blame. Thank you for telling you about your ups & downs. It's always comforting to know that you aren't the only one feeling a certain way.

    But I just had my 2 week appointment with my PS, and boy did it help!!! She is very, very quiet, and with these new emotions I have been feeling, I wrote a couple of notes of the questions that have been floating around in my mind, and I was determined to get an answer.

    So I tell her about my feelings of disappointment at the size and shape of them ( I need to post some pics of me clothed, because in the topless ones, they really do look huge, and they're not that big, honestly)  And she just smiled, rubbed my hand and said "Everything will work out fine." She then told me that she expects my higher breast (the cancer side) to drop and than should correct the uneveness in my nipple, and if it doesn't she will go back in as many times as I saw fit, until I was happy. She said she would never abandon me and will do what it takes to put that smile back on my face. But she thinks that I will be happy with the results. I now TRULY realize it makes all the difference to have a supportive Doctor.

  • MBJ
    MBJ Posts: 3,671
    edited December 2010

    MSNOMORELUMPS:  I also did the same--Only a few of my closest friends ever knew and I didn't go without a wig until I had quite a bit of hair on my head.  Just didn't want to be known as the cancer girl.

  • MSNOMORELUMPS
    MSNOMORELUMPS Posts: 44
    edited December 2010

    MFROG, I'm cracking up over here at OEM parts. I worked for years in a dealership body shop, and that's my kind of humor. I too had some comments from well meaning friends, which is why I couldn't really get upset at their ignorance of the situation, I just think that they didn't know how to act, or what was appropriate to say. This is not a boob job, we are not lucky! yeah I'm real excited I got cancer just so I could go through all this mess to get new boobs.....yeah that's exactly why I did it (insert HEAVY sarcasm)

    MBJ- Yes, sometimes, most times, we need a mental vacation from all this madness, and I understand completely about not wanting to be seen as the 'cancer girl,'  We don't need any additional pity parties besides the ones we throw for ourselves. BTW, I love the photo, you're rocking that hairstyle!!!!

  • didel
    didel Posts: 733
    edited December 2010

    MBJ I continue to be jealous of your bangs and ability to style your hair. Wink

    Diane

  • MSNOMORELUMPS
    MSNOMORELUMPS Posts: 44
    edited December 2010

    haha that's cute DiDel. Yeah those are good bangs, huh?

  • MBJ
    MBJ Posts: 3,671
    edited December 2010

    Thank you DiDel & MSNOMORELUMPS:  My hair is alot of work, but I am sooooo happy to have bangs again.  Of course, MSNOMORELUMPS, you can really rock wearing a hat!!!  This picture is me practicing my 1920's costume for tonights party.  I am really loving the look--feathers, and beads, and gloves and fishnets.  So much fun.

  • happymom8285
    happymom8285 Posts: 132
    edited December 2010

    Hi all.  Glad to read all the updates.

    Good exchanges, revisions, happy foobies to all.

    Bonnie, once again, I'm floored you're having to STILL go through this!  Enough already!

    Dawn--my sister's PS nurse, did her tats and they were gone within a year!  My PS has a tat artist do all of his work.  I would ask if they know anyone that works on BC patients.  Maybe even call around.  If you can wait, go to facecrafter, we all know she does great work.  Glad you got your stitches out.  How are you feeling?

    I plastered my dx all over FB.  I made jokes, used it as my "blog" and reported what was happening to me frequently.  I've had a lot of people tell me how much they appreciated my openness.  I've also been able to get in touch with other women in my situation and help them.  I was very small busted before.  Now, I'm va va va voom. People who know me and how open I was (good friends) talk about my "girls" quite freely.  It doesn't bother me.  Kinda wish I was bigger!  Foob greed!

    I pray you all have a BLESSED, HEALTHY, HAPPY NEW YEAR IN 2011!

  • Estel
    Estel Posts: 2,780
    edited December 2010

    happymom - thank you for responding!  the tats were GONE within a year?  That's crazy stuff!  I'm doing well.  The left side is going to live.  They are shrinking.  The PA told me that they should shrink as much as they're going to within six months.  I'm still wearing gauze for one more week.  I've decided to wait on the tats for six months.  How are you doing? 

  • BonnieK
    BonnieK Posts: 271
    edited December 2010

    happymom -- I think my incision is finally healing properly!!!  It stopped seeping a couple of days ago and my fingers and toes are crossed that this trend continues so I can get a proper prosthesis and stop stuffing these silly things that were in my mastectomy cami.  I stuff them with cotton batting and then use masking tape to keep the whole thing in place -- talk about gorgeous!!!  You should all be so jealous ~~ LOL~~   

    Wishing each of you a very happy and healthy 2011!!

  • MSNOMORELUMPS
    MSNOMORELUMPS Posts: 44
    edited December 2010

    HAPPYMOM-So funny you say you stuffed with cotton batting. It works great doesn't it? I had overstuffed pillows on my couch and they always bothered me. So when I was home by myself right after my mastectomy and looking for something to do, I took the batting out of it, and that's when I go the idea. It actually worked better than I thought. But I wish I had thought about taping them in, because it caused me so much stress worrying about them.

    MBJ-Yes I love a good hat, and/or flower. Have fun tonight, the 20's have some of the best clothes & accessories. Oh yeah and feathers are always fun. Take a pic & post if you feel like it.

    Hey DAWNHOPE!

    Happy New Year to all & be safe. I'm throwing a little party, and I love entertaining, but I hate cooking, so I better skidaddle, (sp?) I have a lot of little finger foods to buy. 

  • dara_diverse
    dara_diverse Posts: 5,006
    edited December 2010

    Bonnie,

    I am glad that the oozing has finally stopped.  I wish you all the best in the reconstruction process and hope for no more setbacks for you.

    Happy New Year to you and all of my friends here. I thank God for bc.org, this has been my rock for the past six months or so.

    Peace and love to all of you ladies and wishing you all many many blessings in the upcoming year!

  • didel
    didel Posts: 733
    edited January 2011

    Happy New Year to all my Exchange City Sisters!!

    You ladies rock!!

     Hugs to ALL!!

    Diane

  • GG27
    GG27 Posts: 1,308
    edited January 2011

    Happy New Year to everyone!  Hope the new year brings much happiness to all.

    Cheers! Dee

  • MBJ
    MBJ Posts: 3,671
    edited January 2011

    Bonnie:  I hope you are well on your way to completely healing and I love that you have kept your sense of humor through this!

    MSNOMORELUMPS: I hope you had a great party!  We went out to dinner then went to an early party and then our Roaring 20's party--great fun dressing up!  Cannot figure out how to post here so I just keep changing my avatar!

    It's a glorius day today--I hope this is a reflection of the year to come.  Wishing all of you here a great, healthy and happy new year.

  • MSNOMORELUMPS
    MSNOMORELUMPS Posts: 44
    edited January 2011

    Thanks MBJ, we had a great time. I still live in the same town I grew up in, so most of my girlfriends I've known since childhood, so we just ate, drank, and dished the dirt. Sometimes it's the simplest things that mean so much.

    Lol well whatever works. I'm the same way, I will try to figure something out, then I just end up doing it my way. Glad you guys had a good time too.

    But I determined to make 2011 so much better than last year. I just existed last year, but this year I'm getting back to the way I used to be and actually LIVE my life to the fullest. We are having great weather right now in the Bay Area, so I'm going to take advantage of it.....after I recover LOL. 

  • MBJ
    MBJ Posts: 3,671
    edited January 2011

    MSN:  It is a gorgeous day outside and I am feeling very hopeful today.  It's as if we have been given a second chance with our lives and we have to step up to the plate and give it all we have!!!  Yay to 2011!!!!  I really appreciate my girlfriends and after this last year their friendship has taken an even deeper meaning.  Glad you had a wonderful evening.

  • LG300
    LG300 Posts: 512
    edited January 2011

    Happy New Year my BCO friends!  Thanks for all the encouragement and support.  Hoping that 2011 is a much healthier and happier year for all of us!! 

  • MBJ
    MBJ Posts: 3,671
    edited January 2011

    Amen to that LG300!!!

  • mom3band1g
    mom3band1g Posts: 87
    edited January 2011

    Yes, Happy New Year to all!  2010 could not leave fast enough for us!  I found my lump in Dec and was diagnosed in Jan.  All of 2010 was spent dealing with this mess.  We had some very close friends over and their kids and my oldest girl friend came (all drove from NC to GA) to ring in the new year.  We had so much fun.  2011 will be a much better year! 

    Bonnie- so glad to hear you are finally healing!  I wondered about the surgical glue because I think it really helps keep the incision closed!  My 'glue' is just now almost all off (4 1/2 weeks after exchange).  I guess I am getting used to my foobs.  I think accepting that they will never be like my old breasts is going to be the first step.  Adjusting expectations.

    Off to start the day!

    hugs to all.

  • MSNOMORELUMPS
    MSNOMORELUMPS Posts: 44
    edited January 2011

    MOM3-That's my story too. I found my lump in Dec and diagnosed in Jan (although I had self diagnosed myself before they told me lol) But I jokingly told my PS that she needed to rearrange her schedule to fit my exchange in before the end of the year. I told her 2010 was the year of the tittie and I wanted it over with....and low & behold, she did. I was so embarrassed because I was only joking. Because she is booked up until April. That meant soooooooooooo much to me.

    Have you seen any change in yours yet? I am, like I said, not as much as I would like, but at least it given me some small hope. Just the thought of your body going through a sort of puberty again and you don't really know what you're going to end up with, is a little unsettling. 

  • Claire82
    Claire82 Posts: 490
    edited January 2011

    I kind have always wanted to do my teens over again.

    I didn't mean this way Embarassed

  • MSNOMORELUMPS
    MSNOMORELUMPS Posts: 44
    edited January 2011

    LOL!!! Yeah I wouldn't mind going back, I need to go get that butt that I thought was going to happen. It's our family tradition haha. But leave it to me to be the different one. No history of cancer either side (leave it to me) All the women have nice little round butts (leave it to me) All the women are tall (I'm 4'11") I'm beginning to think I might be adopted....oh I also didn't get the cooking gene. UGH I can't stand cooking!!