Bottle o Tamoxifen
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Hi Julii..I understand about not being all smiles and roses. It does get frustrating. People ask how your doing but i never really say what im really feeling, on here i do , but day to day, im tired of feeling this way i figure they are tired of hearig it. Thats the great thing about this group of ladies, they are always willing to listen. So anytime you need to vent we are here... smiles no smiles whatever you need
... hugs..Maria
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Thank you, Maria for understanding. As with all of us, it's been a rough couple of years. Like you (and I'd say 99% of us here), we do NOT tell others how we are 'really' feeling. My knees KILL me to get up and down now (I think that's Aromasin, not tamoxifen, they didn't bother me on tamox)....my feet kill from chemo/neuropathy (nope, no drugs help it, and I'd prefer no more drugs added to the repertoire of the many already). HUGS backatcha and thank you again! It's good to vent, as I really can't tell anyone, even my Mom or kids, or closest friends, they TELL me to tell them, but nah, I didn't even tell them when I was dx'd or had my surgeries, I told them all just when chemo was about to start. And I dealt with that myself, drove myself every 2 days a week for 5 months, and drove myself all 35 days of radiation (bf is truck driver--home at nights though to rub my sore/numbness). I didn't wish to burden anyone, though of course, they say it's not a burden, they don't live near me...all I wanted to do was go to bed, so what was the point in having them here? I know/I know...cook/clean...it was just 2 of us here, so not much work anyway, and bf did what he could if I was really sick. Okay, going off here too much, I digress!
There are so many who have it so much worse, I do know. BEST to all~~~juli
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Its good to see your having a blast Jo! The riverwalk sounds like fun.
juli I totally understand as well. I just hate the way I feel some days but I put on a happy face and go go go. I come here to vent because these gals get it. I know that I have a huge group of friends who would be there in a heartbeat, but its hard to shake this feeling when its going on within you! Take care and anytime you need to just let loose know we all are here for you!
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Juli please know we are all here for you. I haven't gone through as much as you have and believe me, I vent and get so bitchy sometimes as this drug as good as it is supposed to be for me, it has some very negative SE for me.....I am so feeling my age lately and I feel like it just crept up on me......the first few months I dealt with the many SE and they got better, now well into my 2nd year, I feel like an old lady....creaky bones all the times and I wonder is this pre-menopausal or is this from the Tamox....who the heck knows. But I am sure glad I have all you beautiful and understanding ladies to listen and just be there for me.....so please know we love you and you are one strong lady.....hang in there.
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Jo, i would love to hear more about the Riverwalk. Isnt it completely man made? Interesting idea in a desert, basically. I heard its beautiful. Glad you are having a good time.
Juli, vent away. I find that only here can i really say anything i want. At home i have a bunch of reasons for not complaining, mostly it just makes the people who love me feel bad. Nothing they can really do and then they worry. Here, we all really know the score. When its just healthy venting. When its a real worry.
I think the thing that gets me about this whole BC situation at this point is how not over it ever is. Does that make sense? As much as i thank God every day that great meds like tamoxifen exist for our generation i still dont love that i have to take a drug that makes me feel sick ( though mildly so.)No question the SEs beat the alternative. But we do have to accept that our lives are forever somewhat changed due to these meds. BC has impacted our lives and keeps doing so long after chemo, surgery, rads, etc. In this sense it seems to be more like a chronic condition than most other cancers. In a way thats a good thing, but it does take some getting used to the idea.
Just thought on what you said, juli...
Shari0 -
Shari - you said it right - BC is the gift that keeps on giving - one of my friends said 'I thought getting rid of the cancer was the hard part' - meaning that the follow-up (for me the recon) is harder - and for chemo and rad ladies the surgery was the easy part.
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JO ~ enjoy it sounds beautiful !
Shari, June, Paula, Juli ~ I too find I get upset sometimes at how I expect to feel like I did pre-BC but it is never over and I have to accept I will never be the same. The feet have been bothersome to me lately, the bottoms when I stand ouch ~ I guess thank you chemo. I too have the facial fuzz I look like a peach. I use an epilator that pulls the hair out and hurts. I should have a full beard in no time.
Alicia0 -
I'll join in that I feel the same. Everyone around me thinks I should be normal. I went through surgery and rads and now I have to wait another six months to have my BMX and reconstruction. So I know basically all of 2012 will be dealing with surgies. Right now I am in limbo trying to get back to something that seems normal.
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Thank you everyone for letting me vent. Yes, everyone I think around us just HOPES we 'feel' more normal, pre-bc. Not gonna happen, ever. (I'm really NOT trying to be so pessimistic, lol, I'm realistic). The feet pain is excruciating and never goes away, and is impacting my decisions on where I go to walk. I am now on Aromasin as I'm now post-menopausal, and that's even worse. Really had no visible effects from tamoxifen (just permanent damage that was found routinely, and breakthrough bleeding after menopause due to thickened uterine lining from tamoxifen, biopsies every 6 months are normal so far). It's the gift that certainly keeps giving. We will never be the same, and that is so sad. But, I keep that to myself, as you all can attest to. WHY would we EVER tell our families?????? There IS nothing they can do, so why bother? I'm not a complainer, as I said, I drove myself to all chemo/rads/doc appts/blood labs/tests w/dyes, etc...I can do it, and prefer it that way. That said, guess that just shows everyone around me how GOOD I must feel!!! ARRRGHHHH...lol...catch-22s I guess. Thanks again everyone. Off to add another doc to my list, an orthopedic doc tomorrow (tennis elbow needs cortisone shot, no clue how THAT came about, and the feet/knees issue I'll bring up, but doubtful anything can be done)...wonder how long s/e's last after being OFF these meds (not for at least another year for me).....take care all. ***HUGS**** ~juli
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Julie (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))
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backatcha sherryc, thanks! ~juli
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Hey TammiaBabes!!! I'm back home now and trying to get back into the swing of things. Lots of stuff happened while we were gone and my day tomorrow is already going to be very busy. We had a great time and was able to see people we haven't seen or talked to in a long time.
I will try and go back later and do some reading. But in the mean time, I would like to welcome any newbies and send hugs out to those that could use one or two. I really missed everyone.
I even updated my avatar. I rarely have pictures of me - I am usually the one behind the camera not in front of it.
Hi! Tink, June and all you wonderful ladies.
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There is my lovely friend JO! MIssed you too and guess what???? I was behaved.... haha.. glad you had a good time and also glad your back!
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Tink - you did not say whether you were well behaved or badly behaved... hm... now why would you not include that pesky adverb???
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hahahah I am hoping Jo doesnt ask the same question... what will I say???? hmmmm
BTW love your new profile name V.artistformerlyknown as.. love it!
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Alicia and Julie, if you are having lots of problems with the neuropathy, I have been seeing a toxicologist who would at least review all the evidence as to the toxicity of these drugs and she looked at the literature on what did and didn't work, some of the current clinical trials (none going on locally), but started me on a topical agent that helped a bit. It was better than the various oral meds I had tried (had more SEs from them than I could tolerate). PM me if you want more info. I have also posted more of the gory details on the permanent neuropathy thread.
Other ladies, wishing you a pleasant evening.
Linda
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Tink - Why would I think for one minute you were well behaved - hummm??? I know you better than that. I sure hope you were bad for me too - LOL!! Glad to be back.
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Jo.. ha you kow it girlfriend lol!!!!.. Its a good thing you love me anyway
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Mary: My hair is getting really light on top...and I have not been out in the sun enough hat-less to bleach it. I think I'm just getting more gray, and I would consider that to be a stress from dx thing. My temples are really gray-ing too. I started taking Biotin three months back and I feel like it's keeping my hair from breaking and looking dull. Tami bonds with cells that are looking to receive estrogen. Hair is greatly effected by estrogen hence the pregnancy glow...I would not be surprised that any hair issues aren't directly related to Tami...Oh, I'm 38, and my older sister is not nearly as gray as I am, my mother and father didn't gray until 50+...so I really think it's a BC thing.
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Tink - It is sooo good you are finally feeling better and are a little fiesty these days. May have to plan a little pillow fight for the weekend??
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Girlfriday... I agree my hair has thinned and the gray is coming in alot faster. I am a few years older than you, im 42 but shouldnt have as much as I do ... thank goodness for hair highlights lol
I started using a shampoo with biotin in it for about 5 or 6 months now and it at least looks fuller although stills feels pretty fine.
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Welcome back JO ~ glad you had a great time !!!! Looking pretty in your pink in your new pic.
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Welcome back Jo! Im glad you had a blast! You deseved it. Love your new pic!
I hope you all have a good night. Im gonna chill for a bit and see where I can surf to. I really need to study, but tonite Im brain dead. I found out where I can get my little cheat sheets at on the computer at work, so its all good, hee hee hee.
Stay outa trouble all you wild gals and Ill see ya in a bit. Take care, xoxoxoxox to you all!
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Hello!! just checking in on my first month on Tamox....l am having a few breakout on my face and discharge down there....lm calling the doc to see if l can use the monistat...could be a yeast infection..l don't know! I have terrible neck pain from the surgery and this gives me headaches but it's getting better after 2 weeks of ice and hot towel treatments.
Have a great week everyone!!
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Wild girls, us Paula????
Jo I have to say it was pretty uneventful this weekend without you......I think you are the Wild one Paula is talking about.....missed you sweet lady and love the pic......
Tink Tink my friend, you were ohhhh so bad but I am glad Jo didn't see what you were up to while she was out with her friends golfing......
Okay, I really need to do something regarding the weight.....I am back up 8lbs....WTH!!!! Stress and me do not work well together, it has been 8 weeks since my Dad has passed and even though the weeks have gone by and it has gotten a tad bit easier and I don't cry every time I think of him, I feel I cannot get a grip on the weight creeping on.............I still walk 3 miles 4-5 times a week but I am feeling so old and look it these days.....the wrinkles are horrific these days....I never noticed them that bad until lately......ARGH!!!! Just venting a tad girls, thanks for listening.....
Anyway, my kids are somewhat still young and I am now having to watch Yogi Bear AGAIN....ha ha
Love ya's!!!!
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As they say - there is no place like home. I have to admit the bed I slept in the last 3 nights was really comfy. Missed having my dog wrapped around my feet.
misszed - Hope there is nothing too serious going on. Everyone reacts differently. Please keep us posted on what you find out.
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misszed I have also had acne breakouts a few times since being on tammi sinc Feb 7th. I am 49 and don't remember when the last time I had acne was. I also have developed the vaginal discharge. yuk. I have had two yeast infections since starting tami. I am hoping it gets better. I hate those things. I get them really bad so my gyno orders me a prescription cream. She said she won't use diflucan pills on me while on tammi because both are hard on the liver.
Girlfriday my hair is also the pits since taking tammi. I noticed at first I was really loosing quiet a bit. I used Nioxin at first and started taking 5000mcg of biotin. Once I noticed the hair slowing down I replaced Nioxin with Natures Gate with biotin shampoo and conditioner. I read in the new good housekeeping that laurel sulfates that are in alot of shampoos cause your hair to be dry. Mine has already dried out with tammi. Natures gate does not have sulfates or any of the other harsh stuff so I figure it must be better for my hair.
Jo so glad you are back we missed you while you were gone.
June you are right Jo must be the wild one because it was pretty quiet around here this weekend.
Alicia and tink how are both of you?0 -
Misszed i to had a discharge and ai said thats a SE. I also have had 2 gyno issues in the last 2 months ans I ask her about ot. AIts one of the SE we have to deal hit. It does get better. Min has lightn up abit. I hope this happen flr you sool
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Yes I too have had acne but I thought it was because I was pre-menopausal.....hmm!!! But I will ask my MO only to have them tell me it is not a SE....why do I even bother???
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Hi, Ladies. No extra acne and my weight has stayed the same , though i could use to be one of you Ladies who lose weight on tami. I am about 10 lbs over what i would like to be. I eat like a rabbit and until the broken foot and bronchitis, exercised at least an hour a day. In a normal world woulda lodt weight but in the big picture this is the least of my complaints. I have had yeast infections and do have that lovely discharge although from what i hear maybe thats preferable to dryness. Who knows?
Jo, nice picture. I noticed you are coming up on one year since dx and having just passed that milestone myself, wanted to send you good wishes. It was emotional but also kind of liberating. Hard to think of all that has changed in one year but on the other hand, despite all of our aches, pains and bumps in the road, we are still here kicking (and whacking!) so, best wishes for fifty more...
Happy day, ladies,
Shari0
