Illinois ladies facing bc
Comments
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Welcome, welcome usafmom and hawk. We have had a bit of an upset but please know we are here for you and are anxious to offer whatever we can.
I'm puzzled by this too though I do know it seems the major holidays are hard for anyone with mental instabilities. Maybe it is worse as we have Thanksgiving blending with X-mas so you do have a point Joan. I read several yrs. back that often --- just when the tide is about to turn people often do this --- meaning I guess that before the break-through --- things feel even more desperate and hopeless. I read this several yrs. ago when a good friend of mine chose to end her life. It sounds like no one has yet found a way to tell when the darkest periods begin.
I'm so sorry Mak ---- it is hard from your perspective and seems so cavalier, but we all have different struggles. Just a good time to all pray for each other. We never know what is just up ahead around the next bend.
See you all in the morning.....mdg...I like your quote for the new year.
Hugs, Jackie
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Morning! Been having trouble posting with my phone and now trying to play catch-up! Wow! Lots going on....
Welcome Hawk and USAmom! Anything you need....ASK!!!!
Connie...sure missed seeing you at the party! Early congrats on #5!
Zap...scary about DD but glad too that she's now doing well.
Laura....did you have any doubts about your Mom? After all, she's a tough IL gal!
Char/Mak....depression is deep and dark and for those who choose suicide it had just become the only choice they felt they could make. It is so very sad. Unfortunately for those that are left behind, they will always wonder what if anything they could have done. Holiday time is a bad time for those suffering this disease. I will keep the families in my prayers.
Spiny lobster.....how are you doing, Kelly? Surgery is behind you, keep coming to the light cuz remember...it's not an oncoming train! Gentle hugs....
For those finishing tx0 -
Hate this phone...
For those finishing tx....yay! For those in tx or having surgery....prayers and hugs for an easy time. And for Rene....no more AI's!!!!!! Doing the happy dance for you! I have 8mo left and I thought I would be overjoyed but now of course I'm thinking....hmmmmmm....oh well, onc did say last August that there would be no more tx for me since I'm doing so well. Once again......hmmmmm...maybe another couple of years?????
Have a wonderful Friday!0 -
Quick hello and welcome to hawk and usamom.
usamom there is a triple positive thread you might want to check out: linky Welcome to Illinios. This is the worst weather time in IL. It really gets nice once you get through winter.
Hawk hope you're recoving well from surgery. Are you doing chemo or did you get a pass?
mdg I didn't do skin graphs for the areola but did have the nips done in October. Don't get scared they are huge franken nips when they first take of the bandages. They do shrink and the Franken look does get better once they take out the stitches. Nice about the tummy tuck.
(((waves))) @ Connie
¿¿¿ ADEY ???
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Thank you all for your welcomes!
Lago - I am hoping to get the final pathology today. Most likely, I will get it Monday. If nothing changes, it sounds as if I will get rads and tomoxifen.0 -
The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.
~ Confucius
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Good morning everyone.....wow !!! Seemed a good time for the above quote which I have used before. For me it is more than the truth --- won't go off into it though as it would get into my spiritual truth which generally rules for me.
It still is ( and this is another quote actually ) whatever is true for you is what IS true, It is what you need to see, feel and experience.
Well, we don't know what is happening on Wendy's deck.....but whatever it is probably isn't too wonderful. That bad storm somehow managed to knock out our phone only, but dh rebooted it and it now seems fine this morning after getting so many complaints ( via email ) from people who couldn' t call me last night. Wish since they bothered to email they would have at least hinted at what they wanted. Sigh !!!!
Some sun out there though it remained gray yesterday. Cold of course.....so I do hope you are all going to have a decent day there and I too would like to hear from Spiny. Waving hi at everyone else. See you later on....after work.
Hugs Jackie
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hawk and usamom welcome to a group that I don't post much on but find so warm and welcoming.
This journey is filled with peaks and valleys for sure. The honesty of our emotions and feelings will help those who follow and are new to the journey.
Seeing a doc at Northwestern for a consult on nip recon since it is going to be a bit complicated.
Have a good weekend everyone
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Iv in for last 30 min... SO far feel ok!
Gabby has croup and was up all night barking poor baby so I'm a bit tired! Ellen got her first acceptance letter to Northeastern honors program in Boston.. I'm a bit mixed on this one... But she really doesn't want of u of I... And yesterday's events didn't help as that's where it happened.
Hope you all have a great weekend!! I am back here on Monday for the pills part as this trial consists of two different Her2 drugs...0 -
Mak - so sorry to hear about your DD ex - how sad. I am sure it is hard on your DD. Hugs and prayers for her.
Good luck in Indy.
Welcome to the new girls!
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Makmak: There is such a difference between Northeastern/Boston and University of Illinois/Champagne cost wise as well as lifestyle-wise. I remember doing all this with my two girls. I loved college-hunting with them.... so much fun.
Good to hear from Wendy and Connie. Yes, my dd is doing well now. Rene helped me with her undertsanding that most of these incidents are transitory. She does this sort of work.
Worked today and I am tuckered. LIke Lago, I feel energized through work, but I have to admit that getting up so early is hard....have never been an early bird.
Welcome to the new ladies. I will get to know you. Kelly and Lemondrop.......I pray you are comfortable.
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Susan
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Mak good luck with the pills. Northeastern has an amazing co-op program. It's required. Great way to get experince before you graduate. These days internships are so competitive people are actually paying to get them rather than get paid!
I road the holiday train home today! When I get the photos of my phone I'll post.
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Don't know if any of you remember or know about my gyno that I fired. If you want to read part of the story you can go read my review I wrote at 4AM in the morning after my biopsy (and being told that I have cancer) Here's the linky. You'll have to scroll down to the bottom and click on the "8 filtered" link on the lower the left of the last review to see mine. You'll know which one is mine.She did call me when I called the office to fire her the next day. She sent me all my medical records and one of these "CYA letters" 6 weeks later… arriving the day before my BMX.
So why do I bring this up? Yesterday I got Happy New Year card listing all thier services and a pocket calendar. Sounds like things are still all F'd up there. I'm very angry about this. I wanted to say something after that stupid letter but I let it go. This time I think I'll send a little New Years card of my own. Gee I wonder if they're going to send me a reminder I'm overdue for a mammogram next.
Maybe it's time to let the AMA and Castle Connely guide know what's going on in her office. She certainly doesn't belong on the Castle Connelly list anymore.
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Thank you all for the sweet welcome. I thought it might be nice to get to know some ladies close to home. I just had major surgery two weeks ago for my reoccurrence. Had implants removed, mass on right side, lymph nodes in axillary, collar bone area too. Also had some muscle removed and had VATS on my right lung to remove small mass. Have masses in left lung that we are going to leave for now. I start new chemo on Monday on FEC to start. I'm an accountant but not currently working because I moved here while in diagnoses process. So kind of hard no to interview and say oh btw I have this tiny issue. Thank you for the info on the triple positive thread. I have enjoyed reading many things there too:)
Thanks Kimber0 -
Joys are our wings; sorrows our spurs. - Richter
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OMG it's really snowing out! Now it looks like Christmas. No power walking through the park this morning!
Here are my pictures from the Holiday CTA Train yesterday. I think the train will be on the red line again today and the purple line. Check out the schedule here: linky
You can see the rest of the photos here: linky
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Corinne and Lago and any one else who runs of speed walks outdoors. I just ordered these for my dd who runs/walk year round outdoors. You put them on your boots.
https://store.4implus.com/g.php?g=87&l=1
Susan
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Hi everyone, I haven't had a chance to read posts, so forgive me if I don't have any personal messages right now. I wanted to give a quick update on me though. I had my BMX and tissue expanders placed this past Thursday, Dec. 15. It went smoothly overall. Sentinel node biopsy showed at least one positive node, so they did do axillary dissection and won't know overall results till I go back for follow up on Tuesday, but I don't have a good feeling overall. I had been letting myself be hopeful that because my tumor was Grade 1, that maybe I wouldn't have any positive lymph nodes, so I was pretty crushed to hear that there was at least one positive, and that the surgeon did feel some additional concerning nodes during the additional dissection. Hospital staff was great, but bed was unbelievably uncomforable and I was very happy to come home yesterday evening. Pain is manageable, but am just emotionally really down. Can't manage to talk to very many people and am just having a hard time. My kids don't really grasp the full extent of the situation, and it is hard to try to be somewhat normal around them when I am so on edge. My DH took them to all of their regular activities today while my mom stayed at our house with me. They are so young, and I am don't want to leave them without a mom. DH and I are both overwhelmed. I know I need to try to be positive and heal from this surgery, but that seems so hard to do right now. A few well intentioned friends are telling me their stories about friend who have come though BC as survivors, but their situations are not the same as mine. I know they are trying to give me hope, but it is actually making me feel worse. One friend was somewhat judgmental that I had skipped my mammo last year (like I don't feel bad about that myself). My brother texted my husband that "lots of people get Breast Cancer these days. I'm sure she'll be ok" I wish I knew that would be true for me. Ok, I know this is not productive, but I am uncomfortable and disfigured and struggling. Thanks for listening.
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Lemondrop first of all if you had your mammo last year doesn't mean they would have found it or even if they did it would make a big difference. Y ou had a slow growing tumor. Also from what I have read LCIS is usually spotted on an MRI not in a Mammo. I had LCIS in the other breast and it wasn't spotted on the mammo or US. My understanding is ILC starts of as LCIS.
You are just down because of the new about the nodes. Totally understandable. But your friends are correct. There are many many women that have it in their nodes and do just fine and doesn't go beyond there. The news is just hard to digest. For all you know it just got into a few nodes and that's it.
Yes the friends say "I'm sure she'll be OK". They don't know what else to say but to be honest there is a very good chance you will be OK. This beginning part is so hard. Yes I too thought my days were numbered. This big tumor scared the hell out of me (mine was 6.5cm if you include the non invasive part but only 5.5 of it was invasive). Breast cancer is extremely treatable. My BS told me that when I first saw him. I didn't really understand what that meant at first. Hang in there. This will all start to make more sense.
The beds at Rush were uncomfortable too. I was so happy to get home as well. I remember waking up thinking what the hell did I just do! I had my boobs removed. This is all so surreal. It does get better in time.The beginning is so hard. I wish I could be there and hold your hand (hug would hurt you right now so just a hand hold from me).
Remember if you are in pain don't suffer. Take the meds. I found each day I felt better and better. You are being treated at a top notch facility.
BTW If you haven't already be sure to ask to see an LE PT and have your arms measured once the swelling goes down from surgery. You may not get LE but you should get a baseline measurement.
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Lemondrop - ILC usually does not show up on mammos. I had an annual mammo for ten years and even when we knew I had BC it was not visible on the mammogram - so don't let anyone or anything make you feel guilty. This is the hardest part of the whole breast cancer journey - or at least it was for me - not having all the information, not knowing the treatment options, shocked and scared. I agree with Lago - friends often do not know what to say - how could they unless they dealt with something similar. It took me a while to accept that and understand that they are scared for me and only want to help. So for now just be all about yourself - talk to people if you feel like it, or do not. Take one day at a time and know that it will get better.
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Hi Ladies, I was able to call ADEYS SIL today. She returned home on Thursday and her mom is there taking care of her. I will stop by with something tomorrow for her. So stupid of me to forget I know her SIL!!!!! She obviously is doing well if she is already home.
Lemondrop, my prayers are with you. When your worried, words cant help you. Just know that we understand where your at and love you anyway. I am PMing my phone number, I am in Lombard if you need me. Onward
To the new girls: Welcome. If you have to have BC, this is the place to find people who understand.
To Mak and Zap: Prayers go out to you and there families. To believe it will never get better than what you are going through at that moment has got to be horrible.
To my LE friends: met the dr from Palos. OMG I loved her instantly. My hand pain is from the femera not LE but I am going back a few times to brush up with message again.
My son and girlfriend arrived last night from their semester in Austria. They have truly seen Europe. What a blessing to not only go but to have a deep appreciation of what they have seen and done. : ) Onward
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Oh lemondrop my heart and prayers go out to you sweetheart. Please hang in there I won't lie this is a horrible disease but there is so much hope. I know you are looking at your body now thinking why but reconstruction later if you do decide to go that route does help. Or even when you get prosthesis it helps too. If done both and now back full circle had to have my reconstruction removed. I have read of so many ladies with different degrees of lymph involvement and we are all different. TX are all different and I'm sure once you get started with that plan you wil feel better. I know I start chemo again on Monday and I'm very ready to feel like I'm doing something to fight this disease.
As for family and friends I can only speak for myself I have chosen to only let a select few into my world right now I recently went to stage IV with far progression so different story but still same heartache my sister in this fight. So if people aren't proactive in supporting you I'd limit my contact with them right now. You need only supportive people in your life! Right now it is about your healing! Be selfish and feel better:)
Hope I didn't offend but I've been learning to be more frank.
Gentle hugs
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Lemomdrop.....you have gotten such sound advice from these wonderful ladies.....I have nothing much to add, but though it is extremely difficult right now, try not to "think" too much about your diagnosis at this point. It is hard to know totally what is happening until you have your complete path report. I think Lago said it best....probably to a person most of us thought we had seen our best days never to come again. Hope will come when you are a little more rested from your surgery. Yes....you and your husband are overwhelmed, but it is always darkest before the dawn, so give yourself the gift of time if you can. No one can make this much better while you are feeling so down and afraid. You need time -- hold tight to those who are closest and let them console you.....then see your MO when your report is ready because that is when you will know what you are dealing with and what it will take to get feeling like you are back in charge of your life. You have the hope and love of many here.
Sending you healing light and warm energy.
Very Gentle hugs,
Jackie
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Morning! Very foggy out and 26....going up to 44 with lots of sunshine!!!
Lemondrop....not much I can add to all the wonderful advice. I do know that you are at the worst place...once you have all your info and have a plan in place it really does get better. Lots of ladies living many MANY years with this disease but right now...it's ok to be depressed and miserable and scared. If you weren't then THAT would be abnormal! Just keep coming here...like Lago said, no hugs right now but if you look really hard....see all our hands? Just reach out and grab on...we'll get you thru this mess...and out the other side. It will be a strange journey but remember....your life is waiting and although it will be a different life, it will be FANTASTIC!!!!!! C'mon....grab our hands and hold on!!!!!
Happy Sunday all!0 -
You are perfect. You are complete.
Your inner voice always knows what to do,
but it is a quiet voice.
You can only hear the whisperings of your inner voice -
your inner compass - when you turn down the volume
of your fears, your regrets, your resentments,
and the fear-based advice
your neighbors are so willing to give you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie0 -
Lemondrop....I had a mammo a few months becore I felt the lump. The lump was not visible on the mammo and it was over 1cm and grade 2. Don't blame yourself. There is enough emotional drama that comes with BC already. Please don't put more on yourself. I am a year out from diagnosis and life feels normal again. Hold on to that. I also have a young son. He was 4 last year when I was diagnosed. He is doing great. If you need to talk with someone that has kids about going through this please PM me. I am happy to support you. This is hard and helps to talk to people that "get it". I am in the west suburbs and don't work. Maybe we could meet up if you like. Hugs!!!!
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Good morning -- frosty and quite cool but a gorgeous sun out to help make up for the part I'm not so thrilled about. What a great note to Lemondrop, Wendy. I'm sure your Fort is still open too if needed.
Laura....I got the picture and it fits perfectly. IllinoisMan put it in the frame ( grabbed the whole thing from me so eager was he ) and then we hung the picture up behind my desk. I will try and get a picture of it in a couple of days as we are making some changes here in my computer room. Hopefully, soon as I get things re-arranged. It's a wonderful picture by the way and I'm still in awe of that party and all you ladies that I had the great pleasure of finally meeting. Definitely way high up on my list of important life treasures.
Hope you are all going to have a spectacular Sunday. See you all later.
Hugs, Jackie
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Help!
I need an idea what to get my 17 YO nephew for Chanukah (I'm a little late). I asked his 20 YO sister and she said "Yeah he's hard to buy for".She's been in Europe all semester and doesn't know what to bring back. (I recommended a blond gal from German. She agreed he'd like that). He plays soccer and is great at track but right now he has mono (just got back to school not too long ago) so not doing sports. He's a bright kid but really doesn't seem to have hobbies. He loves gadgets. She recommended a gadget for the car because he's been driving a lot.
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Lago- easiest gifts for my son are gift cards to Barnes and Noble, Sports stores or Best Buy!
I'm doing well after tx and going back tomorrow for the second drug which is pills but they take blood every few hours so I'll be there all day plus next morning.. As long as it works.. And the pills cross the blood brain barrier so an extra bonus!!!0 -
Lago, gadgets plus being a 17-year old male adds uo to a Best Buy gift card.. As much as i would like to get personal gifts for my nephews, I know they most appreciate gift cards with a loving note (actually it may be just my delusion that they like the loving note
Lots of intense things going on here and I cannot add anything more that has not already been said. I can reinforce the idea that mammograms fail to find stuff. My tumor was 4.5 centimeters (HUGE) and the mammogram ten months before failed to see it and i am a grade 2.
During the "newness" of it all I just did not answer the phone. I also would like to reinforce the message that you do not have to talk to anyone. I personally feel that most people who say dumb things or ask a lot of questions do so simply because they are nervous as to what to say. Most of them are kind at heart just lost as to how to proceed. Perhaps your mom, lemon, could explain that you need your rest and privacy and that you are not chatting in person or on the phone....a card would be lovely. I know I could do that for my daughter and I suppose your mother could do that for you and would agree you need your rest and privacy. I wish you well.
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