how about drinking?

DorK, you and Stella are da best, such sweet words for our Kymn. As for talking to da boss, I AM da BOSS! Gotta make that MOO-la, if nothing else, to pay for health insurance! I'm IN FOR ALBERTA!

Yeah....NM in da house! HearZ to dwinkies, twinkies, and bilnkies! .........and helping Stella!

Oh dear, Dork............meeze has heard dat joke berfore, not chure if it wuz from Bernie or sumZware else. But it sho iz funny! Dat poor pit bull!

ROFLMAO!!!! yOUz gALz aRe dEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE bEST!!! lOVE n hUgZ TO yaZALL!!!

An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when ,all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be granted three wishes.
"Well, now," says the old lady, "I guess I would like to be really rich." POOF her rocking chair turns to solid gold. "And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess. "POOF! She turns into a beautiful young woman.
"Your third wish?" asked the fairy godmother.
Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them. "Ooh can you change him into a handsome prince and make him my husband?" she asks.
POOF! There before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone she could possibly imagine. She stares at him, smitten.
With a smile that makes her knees weak, he saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear, "Bet you're sorry you had me neutered."

Wow, what a quiet night last night! Maybe the holidays and  back to work?

Karen, I don't like using the netbook either. Sorry things are still bad at home. Is there any way we can help, or offer advice?

Hi Fitz, and welcome.  I would be glad to share some Lemon Drop Martini's wif you. In fact, we shall make that our DOTD (drink of the day)

And then we have.......................

Morning Loungettes!



Lori and Fitz, thanks for something lemon, on this coldest day since Feb. 2011, I needed something good! Bernie, shared your latest with DH, we both cracked up! Thanks! When does your DH get back?



Kymn, happy to see ya! 2012 means on to better things! We missed you! All for de UFO partay, never been west of Winnipeg, on my hit list though!



MemaSue, hope DD is doing great, you too!



Gotta jet, work calls!



BOTD is a bubbly one Cantillon Gueze, Belgian Lambic. Almost a champagne, simply awesome!



Cheers, Beers and Frozen Ears (yes I am a dumba$$ and forgot my hat! Brrrrrrrrr). Scuby

Good morning, thanks girls you all brought tears to my eyes. I will pop in and sit on my bar stool I have missed you all so much . Yeah cant wait for you all to get here and you picked a great week, its going to be 14c here today we have barely had any winter here so far so rare but I am not complaining at least not about that lol. So I went to chapters last night and bought the book Why men love bitches....interesting read so far. I told you all FAH moved right across the street from me right into one of our well I guess his friends house and of course he is out all the time and I am left wondering what he is doing etc etc etc so figured I should be getting out more let him be the one to wonder damn it. We have spoken some and are on nice speaking terms I guess but still a complete selfish asshole. Says he is going to get help go for councelling but seems to always have an excuse why he hasnt yet. I am still seeing my shrink, so far it is going ok but no big Ah Hah moments just stuff I already knew. This book though is something I wish I had read in my 20s and not in my 40s. I will be passing this on to my daughter when she is old enough let me tell you. ok back to work cant wait to see you all

Hugs Kymn

Hi babe@s special tonight. DH home tomorrow.

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor! Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.
(P = the problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.)
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
 

Kymm - Bernies Babe

How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."

How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.

What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
Any place without a drive-up window.

What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?
Exchange him.

What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.

How can you tell when a man is well hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Hello Goils!

Jest popping in for a mid day cocktail. Oh, lookie over dere, me sese lemon drop martini's, I will slug down a few with anyone who wants to partay!

Kymn, yay, I saw you on your pink barstool looking lovely as can be. Tanks for coming in. Seems the partay is tonight but hell, I like sipping dwinks with likker all dey long. So anytime you come in, mese is here. Cheers my lovie! 

Bernie, great jokes. Loved the jokes again men. Keep em coming, you rock. I like when you say Bernie's goils, I am one of dem you know. Come have a dwink with mese. 

Lori, you so sweet saying nice tings about de Dork. Yep, I am sweet but only to goils. I can be quite bitter at times. Give me a few weeks back to work and I will be a witch on wheels. Well not that witch hehehe! Mese doesn't have my wheels yet.

Allison, fanning yourself with nipple pics, dat is classic!! hehehe! So sawry me missed your call. Ya see, dere is a story to that. Mese went out last night and had to buy doggie food. I was so tired when I got home and could not find de energy to bring some food in from de bag for aye em dindin for de dogs. Buying de bag of dog food is one chore I hate and a time when I miss my DH. I had to have de poor goil at Petsmart bwing de bag to my car because it is 40 pounds. So me was outside, in de frigid cold dis aye em with me metal container scooping cups of dog food outta de twunk of mese car. I saids to myself, "self, you do miss having de muscle man dat can". So mese decided that me man is good for sumting. I shoveled out enouf dog food to make it til dinner and will have DH fill up the can tonight. Dis is DE ting I hate about BC, mese likes to be independent but dere are sometings I can't do. And dis make me miss important call from you, ya see? I hope you see's. It was nice hearing your cute lil Kentucky accent. I will play your vm for my DH. Jest hope he don't start chasing me when he hears you talk about nipples hehehe!!! Here is a hug and tank ewe for calling. ((ALLY)).

I am missing me Katrinka in de lounge but me tinks she is at de doctors todey. Mese hoping dat she comes in to sez good tings about her appointment. 

A big welcome to Fitz and tank ewe for de dwink idea, mese like lemon. 

Scuby dooo, you what?? Foygot yer hat? Oh mese, how sweet that you stopped at "our place". I like it dere, de people is nice and do not bother if you not spending de money in dere. Mese glad you had a place to defrost your little ears. Oh and tanks for de beers, mese dwank dem all. Burp - oh excuse me. Me tinks I blame Stella hehe. Sawry dat you are sore from de stretching.  Bad Richard de therapist/PT man, I feel yese pain, he did that to mese too jest before me exchange.

Can I jest say one ting more? Mese is sooo happy dat I am all healed up. All de icky scabby tings have already fallen off and I am feeling very confident that mese is all done me recon. Dat alone is a reason to start dwinking at 4 pee emm, yippee!! cheerZ! 

Anyone around for Pau Hana on Hump Day? I can use a strong one (or several)!. Saw the vein dr today and went back for ultrasound on both legs. Yup, they both need surgery, but not sure how long the ins will take to approve it. Usually they want you to wear compression hose, etc for 3 mo first, but I did that a yr and a half ago, with the other (bad) vein dr. So hoping that counts! Also glad I did not have surgery with that dr...my instincts told me not to, and after talking to several nurses, and my foot dr, they are in agreement with me. SO glad I didn't go thru with it. ANYWAY my new vein dr is a HUNK....and young....my foot dr said he was good looking, and she was right! Also, my dad had a horrid day yesterday. Surgeon had to remove lots of tissue for the 3 cancer areas that were biopsied earlier. They got it all, but could not sew him up properly, as he didn't have enuf skin on his shins. So they thought they stopped bleeding, he went home ( long drive), then it bled a lot again....so he had to go to ER....they had to try several times, over a long period of time to try to stop it....he ended up leaving home at 8am for first surgeries, and finally coming back home after 10 pm.

Sorry I was AWOL yesterday....just had lots going on. Luv you all, and hope to find a dwinking buddy asap for Pau Hana!!!

Hugssssss,

kathy

Awwwww I can always depend on da Dorkster to keep me in dwinks! Mucho tanks, girlfriend! And thanks for all the prayers too, you iz tooooo sweet. SO glad you are healing well, that is such awesome news!

Bernie, such funny jokes!!! So glad your DH will be home soon! WooHoo!!!!

Anyone else joining DorKie and Meesie for some dwinks....I see the TT's brought in a camel so we can dwink on da humps. HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!! Me and DorK will be dwinking here for awhile, so come and join us.....

Awwwww, Mrs. Katrinka, I jus gonna ditto EBERYTING de DorK said!! ((((hugs)))) sent also! Love u girl! DorK, so happy u all healed up, u Witch on wheels! But not dat one!! LMAO!!!! Lub u too!! He'll, me Lubs all de girls in de lounge! Perty much!! Memasue, de end will roll around quicker Dan u tink, specially since u found de HTL; if it weren't for all dese ladies here, I'd have slit my wrists months ago!! And all de hot tenders help, too!!

And @ Karen, u and Hubby only talking through email? WTF is up with that?? U need to vent? We are here! U puttin puppy tweats in de pockets yet?? Jus curious......

Cheers me dears!! An we countin down to de nex calibwation; Scuby doo gettin rid of de rocks on Monday!!! Yippee!!! Woo Hoo!!!!!!

A married couple are driving along a highway doing 60mph, the wife behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks over at her and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 20 years, but I want a divorce."
The wife says nothing but slowly increases speed to 70 mph.
He then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a better lover than you are."
Again the wife stays quiet but speeds up as her anger increases.
"I want the house," he insists, pressing his luck. Again the wife speeds up, to eighty mph.
He says, "I want the car, too," but she just drives faster and faster.
By now she's up to ninety mph. "All right," he says, "I want the bank accounts, and all the credit cards, too."
The wife slowly starts to veer toward a bridge.
This makes him a bit nervous, so he says, "Isn't there anything you want?"
The wife says, "No, I've got everything I need."
"Oh, really," he says, "so what have you got?"
Right before they slam into the wall at a 100 mph, the wife smiles and says, "The airbag."

Good one Bernie! Happy Thirsty Thursday to you girls!! Have a good one!

Good morning, Loungettes! Missed checking in yesterday, had an appointment with the Onc, found out she's counting the time I was on taxomifen as treatment time ( I got off it because I was sure it wasn't working--no hot flashes, no SE at all and taking Prozac that blocks tamoxifen metabolism so when she stops the arimidex I'll actually have had 4 years and 5 months of actual, working hormone therapy. She didn't seem to want to extend the arimidex another few months so I would have a full 5 years, and she usually turns patients over to their PCP when treatment is over. "Very liberating" she called it. Not really sure what I think about this.

Karen--what, exactly, is mostly YOUR fault? It sounds like your FAH is still trying to manipulate you, only now through e-mail rather than the phone. I can't remember, do you have a lawyer? Does the lawyer know about the e-mail? I'd get some advice before putting anything in writing in any form.

Fitz--WELCOME to the Lounge! I'll try a Lemon Drop. We'll drink just about anything here and love most of it!

Bernie!!! Yet again you make me LOL! When I LOL I have to stop and read the funny to Sadie, who then usually gives me an odd look and wanders away. Apparently human humor doesn't translate well into dogish.

Mrs. Vino--only here on the bco boards would no one blink an eye at the statement that someone is fanning herself with downloaded pictures of nipples! I wonder if such pictures qualify as pornography?

Scuby! We got your package yesterday. Pics to follow when I get batteries for the camera, not gonna open the can until I get batteries! Thanks!

Kymn--I've heard it said that living well is the best revenge. If you can look like you are having a great life without him, he'll stew in his own juices for sure! Sounds like a good book, and a good plan to share with DD when she' s old enough.

Bernie-- I will never look at an airplane the same way again!

Mema--Good to see you!

Bernie--now that I understand men better I very glad I never got married!

DorKy--HOORAY for being all healed up! We need to celebrate! PARTAY!!!!!

Hi, Juliet!

Wahine--OUCH for your Dad! Good they got it all, Bad for the bleeding. Hope it's all under control now.

Karen--homemade pizza is sooooo good! Not to mention healthier. Hooray for a short work week!

Goldie--GREAT DOTD! Can I have a whole line of them please? And some hidden in a flask to take to the boring meeting I have to go to this afternoon?