Exchange City
Comments
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Shabby...hosp requires preop every two weeks...part of that being a pregnancy test. I could have gone back to the gym right away but didn't ...just no chest or arm work for four weeks. Definitely not as long a wait as the bmx.
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This question is a sanity check and I would appreciate any and all input! At almost 9 weeks post-exchange, I find I am fighting what sometimes feels like a losing battle trying to hold onto hope that my reconstruction will look better as time passes and/or what doesn't look better can/will be fixed. I think living alone doesn't help, it's only me and my dogs and the mirror. My dogs don't have an opinion on my reconstruction as long as it doesn't interfere with walking or feeding them. But the mirror has good and bad moods. The day before yesterday, the mirror was friendly and upbeat. Then I went 24 hours wearing a cami with a shelf bra (first time since surgery) and no silicone scar tape and today the mirror was the b*tch from h*ll. I can't get in to see my PS until November 30th, and I think I will have lost my mind by then. I can only communicate with him through his assistant, and have been thinking of sending his assistant torso pics with the request that she show them to him and ask him to please provide some reassurance that the defects that concern me will improve in the next few months or can be fixed. Would it be insane to do this???
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Dragonfly, I would do that, send the pics to your PS. If it were me I'd probably walk them in. The squeeky wheel...
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Hi dragonfly, I'm so sorry to hear that you are unhappy with your results. November 30 is really a long time. If that was me, I would tell the assistant that I want a call back from your PS. You have every right to get answers to your questions and concerns about your reconstruction. Have you thought about getting a second opinion?
I hope everything works out for you...0 -
Dragonfly- I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm one who analyzes things to the hilt, and it's always impt to me to get feedback from others for reassurance, etc. What did your PS say when you saw him last? Did he give you any expectations and are they not looking like you had thought they would? For what it's worth. . . I WOULD send some pics to his nurse/assistant. . . what would it hurt? (Disclaimer here: I know NOTHING about the Canadian health system). They may be able to give you a simple answer, or it could be that they'd feel they need to see you sooner. Maybe they need to clarify just what type bra you ought to be wearing at this point. . . Either way, whether time is of the essence or not, I would think they'd want to be able to reassure you. Have they ever given you the impression that sending pics would make them mad?
I'm new to this. . . just had my exchange surgery on Monday, and I'm not sure what to expect at this point. There's still a lot of swelling, so I don't really know what the final product will look like. Haven't had too much pain post-op, although tonight they're a little mad at me. . . maybe I did too much today.
Sending you a hug and reassurance that it's only natural to need feedback from others. Keep reaching out. But don't let your mirror's moods play tricks on you. You've been through a lot -
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Layla, sorry I thought I posted this morning and now can't find it. My PS is from San Diego. He comes up here to Murrieta a few times a month to take care of us out here in the sticks. I saw him yesterday and he said that SD has had an unseasonably hot summer but now they are getting a mixed bag of hot days, overcast/foggy mornings, some humidity. We are in an inland valley so our temps are about 15+ degrees hotter than SD. Here it's supposed to be 105 on Monday. Pack for hot and cool temps, usually no rain tho until the end of October.
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Dragonfly2012 - I don't know how things work in Canada. I know that in the US there is great variation from PS to PS. However, I think it's unacceptable anywhere to have to wait over 2 months to get some reassurance after you've had surgery. I am lucky that my PS is very open to photos and questions sent via email. I think it's fairly common to do so and I don't think it's insane at all! I did it frequently when I was going through a rough healing phase after MX. It helps a LOT if you are sure to take and send only very clear photos. The PA told me that it is really difficult for them to help if they are working from fuzzy or poorly lit pictures.
Sorry you are having such a difficult time. Hang in there!
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Dragonfly I would send pics to the nurse and ask for a response back. Nove 30th is a long time to wait.
As for pre-op. I only had to do blood work for my exchange surgery. I am very active so my PS said at two weeks I could start lower body workouts. When I went for my 4 week follow up he said I was doing so well that he lifted my restrictions for upper body but did say take it easy and gratuate back. He knows I lift weights at the gym and do yoga. So he said listen to your body and you will be fine.
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Dragonfly, I agree with the recommendations to send pictures now. You may get reassurance, or you may get a request to come in sooner. However, I did exactly the same thing and sent photos at 7 weeks and the response I got from my PS was to be completely blown off and a response that he would see me at 13 weeks post op and that massage would take care of everything. That was the beginning of 2012 and when I finally got the instructions, the massage did not do a damned thing. And I knew it would not when I was told, but played along and went through the motions exactly as instruction for months like a good little patient. And then at the follow up to check to see how the massage had done, which was nothing, I was discharged and wished will by his medical assistant and told to call if I had any problems. But goodbye, no schedule to return. I still continued the massage hoping and believing, but gave up after a few months beyond discharge.
So the long message here is that you might want to start finding someone else who will listen to your concerns and recommend a plan. You may not even be able to get in for that second opinion before your Nov 30 appointment with the original PS, but even if not, start working on it in the event you determine you need it. If all goes well Nov 30, you can always cancel. But start making backup plans now in case you find yourself declared fine and dismissed, or shuffled off to a subordinate. I suspect your options in Canada may be more limited than mine, so get the process in motion now.
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What is massage for? My PS mentioned it once but we never did talk about it again.
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Good grief, Monday's Child - - I'm so sorry you had to deal with that, and basically have had to squash your concerns! So where have you left it? Have you been able to see someone else for another opinion? Are you just trying to live with the results? I'm so sorry and angered FOR you. You went through too much to just be dismissed like that. . . Scares me. . .
Is this the experience others have had? Have you been able to pursue an answer or a fix it you've needed one?
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Same here as Tlew,My PS says I look ok and can do everythg now except do not lift anything over 10 lbs. no repetitive arm movements,sweepg,vacumg,no lifting the 20lb of 50lb of dog food for the GS. Fiance is helping me with the crock pot,he says thanx for the lifetime supply of homemade lentil soup. Guess I will need a lifetime supply of Beano and GasX,lol, TMI.
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What were your restrictions early on, like right after surgery? Do you guys remember? I'm just 5 days out, and I think I'm doing too much, maybe. Lower body workout yesterday and to HS football game last night, then today out to lunch and walked for hours at outdoor arts fair - - I'm whooped, and the girls are screaming at me.
I just heard over and over how "no big deal" the exchange surgery was. . . did you take it easy and stay put for a while? It's hard to know what's too much. . .
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It was not as bad as BMX but I definitely took it easy after my exchange. Dr did not want me lifting much or reaching too high. Plus you need to recover from the anesthesia so take it easy for a while.
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Could Canadians go to New York or Wash state? Or do they just have to see the dr they are assigned to?
Annie,what is your PS telling you? You might feel fine and I did also but I was told not to raise my heart rate for 3 wks cause it might cause internal bleeding,I was told to wear a sports bra 24/7,not to raise my hands over my head wear all button downs and zip front sports bras,I was given a print out of tons of pages! A lady got a mommy makeover in one of the FL hosp and she went home and died a few days later so FL PS are mostly on high alert regarding their patients right now. You can walk around I guess,they let patients do that in the hosp after the bmx. Definitely not lift anythg over 10lb. My PS says I can call their office anytim with questions. I am tired of wearing the sports bra but when I dont i become very uncomfortable.
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Dragonfly - I saw my PS last Monday, who acknowledged he saw the same defects I did. Even though his recommendation was to wait another two months for the swelling in Lefty to go down, he did say that some of the loose skin issues could be addressed later on. In my mind, I knew I had enough patience to wait 3 - 6 months, but the fact that he DID acknowledge my concerns made me feel much better. Now I'm not looking in the mirror every five minutes.
I feel your pain. I really do. But here is what I believe: almost EVERYTHING can be fixed. If not by time alone, then with some surgical intervention. I won't see my PS until November, but I made up my mind to let it go until then. I don't need the stress and the worry, and it certainly won't change the way the girls look.
I hate the way your PS is dissing you, and if I were closer, I could come over and you could hold him down while I whacked him. But in the meantime.....all I can do is send you big hugs.
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annievan - before my exchange surgery (August 22nd) the PS said I would have restrictions for about two weeks: no reaching, stretching, driving, lifting more than 5 pounds.
But when he got in there, he had to do so much pocket work (removal of scar tissue, separation of more pectoral muscles, and lateral capsulorraphies) that I had full restrictions for a month. I couldn't even do any exercise that would raise my heart rate.
When I was dx a year ago, I asked him what he needed from me to have the best possible outcome. His answer? "Just follow my instructions."
So even though I've thought "I can do this!", I remember his words, and hold off. He wants me to be a couch potato for a month? I'll do it. I HATE it, but I'll do it. I think the reason that I haven't had any major complications with recon is because I've been so OCD about following his instructions. We do laugh about that, though.....
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I had my exchange surgery just 4 days ago, on September 26th. I opted for silicone, and let me tell you, they feel WONDERFUL as compared to the TE's!
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Haven't been posting as of late but thought I would like to get some input from all of you. I had uniMX Feb 23rd with immediate TE placement and then exhchange to silicone implant on July 5, along with a breast lift to native side.
I adamantly told my PS that I did not want to be smaller than I was prior to MX. I was filled to 550ccs , replacement silicone implant was a moderate plus 450 cc. I was not happy immediately after, saw PS for 2 wk post op, he thinks everything looks fine. I still feel that nothing has dropped or fluffed, and it continues to be flatter than I would like. Also I do not have the upperpole fullness and there is a dent in the side near the underarm. I have to be conscientious in the type of bra I wear otherwise it does not fill out the cup and you can tell in certain clothes.
I see him again next week, how do I get him to see things my way, or am I just trying to be a perfectionist? Of have any of you sought out a second opinion??
Of course the calendar year plays into things as of Jan. 1st, a new deductible starts.
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icefishinglady - welcome to the squishy side!
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Hi Janice - you and I have almost the same history. Diagnosis in late Nov 2011, two lumpies, then a UMX in Feb 2012. I waited until Aug 2012 for my exchange/lift so I could lose some weight.
UMX are tough for symmetry. The doctor has to see what s/he can get with the native lift, and then try to make the reconstructed side match up. My girls look good in the right bra, but on their own, they are fraternal twins. I opted for no implant on my lifted side. If I had, maybe I would have had more symmetry, since the MX side is fuller on top. It may drop still more, since I'm only a little over 7 weeks out. The drop and fluff can take months.
I'm sorry you're unhappy with your results. I understand the calendar year pressure. I started all this in 2011, and I hope to be done in 2012. Two years out of pocket expenses is quite enough thank you!
It's hard to know if you are expecting too much. Sometimes we're our own worse critics. Has anyone else given you their honest opinion?
Wishing you all the best
Jamie
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A huge thank you to Rosie24355, tlew, annievan, TinaT, Sherryc, MondaysChild and Blessings for taking the time to respond to my distraught post about my concerns about my reconstruction and whether I should send pics to the plastic surgeon's assistant since I could not get in to see him for two months. I honestly don't know what I would do without the knowledge and support so freely offered by the awesome women on this board.
I did send the pics on Thursday - I have not heard back but will give them a few more days. This weekend I finally gave into an emotional meltdown about the whole thing. I had been struggling not to do that... I didn't want to acknowledge the extent of my unhappiness with my results and how afraid I was that the PS could not, or would not, fix the defects. To a certain extent, I felt I was not entitled to be unhappy, that there were women dealing with reconstruction defects more severe than mine and there were women struggling to get a stage where reconstruction was even an option. I was equally afraid of having to find a new PS, as the wait get in for a consult for a second opinion is about a year here.
In the end though, I finally decided it was okay for me to be disappointed with my results because they're just not that great. And it was also okay for me to want to be happy with my reconstruction and pursue a course of action that could ultimately provide me with that. Cancer is punishment enough, punishment that none of us ever deserve. And yes, there are things beyond our control - leaks in TE's, infection, necrosis, issues with radiated skin... the list goes on, so many things can go wrong. But a PS who doesn't seem to care should not be one of those things.
I will wait to see if I hear back from my PS, but I have pretty much decided to tell him that since he doesn't seem to have time for me, he needs to refer me to another PS who does. And if that takes a year, well, I'm no worse off. The earliest they could schedule my surgery for nipple recon (at which time I suppose any defects could be addressed) was May 2013. So that's almost a year away anyway.
A few specific comments to those who responded:
annievan: As you are only a week out, you can probably expect lots of changes. And in most, all those changes are for the better! I hope to hear that you are happy with what you see and feel in the weeks to come.
MondaysChild and Blessings: You both have been an incredible source of support to me these last few weeks, and I can't thank you enough.
MondaysChild, I know you are dealing with challenges of your own. It is my wish that you find the answers that will lead to relief and contentment. You SO deserve both!
Blessings, I am so glad you have such a great relationship with your PS. Having seen your pics, I can see exactly what you mean by loose skin and how that affects the contour of your IMF. It sounds like an easy fix, which is great news. Because other than that, I think you are looking pretty fantastic for one month out!
Again, thanks to all for reaching out to me.
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JamieB86
Yes it does sound like we've been down the same road. I did not have an implant put into lifted side either, but I feel that the MX side with silicone implant is not as big , there is space that doesn't fill bra. When I gave my measurements to Whippetmom, before my exchange she had advised to go to atleast 550, but my PS went to only 450. That is my concern, did he just do what was easy without any more work and then just call it good enough?? My DH and another person have commented that they don't look even. So I am hoping that perhaps the PS will also see that and want to make revision.
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JamieB86
Yes it does sound like we've been down the same road. I did not have an implant put into lifted side either, but I feel that the MX side with silicone implant is not as big , there is space that doesn't fill bra. When I gave my measurements to Whippetmom, before my exchange she had advised to go to atleast 550, but my PS went to only 450. That is my concern, did he just do what was easy without any more work and then just call it good enough?? My DH and another person have commented that they don't look even. So I am hoping that perhaps the PS will also see that and want to make revision.
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Hey Dragonfly - So glad the posts with your buddies here have offered a bit of support and have helped you decide to pursue things further with your PS and/or 2nd opinion. Agree with you wholeheartedly! This is wonderfully helpful to me to have folks here to talk with - - I thank everyone for the support and encouragement, too!
Question - - I hear reference to the picture forum. How does one access that site?
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(((((Dragonfly))))))
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janiceg415 - I think we ARE entitled to want what we want.
I would definitely try to make my PS understand and be sensitive to my concerns, or if that isn't possible, get a second opinion.
It's not like we're going through all this reconstruction just for vanity's sake. I was offered a UMX, but chose BMX because I knew symmetry would be tough with an implant on one side, and a lifted 38DDD on the other.
I just wanted to ask if you had tried on any "minimizer" bras? Not because you want to look smaller, but because typically the minimizer bra has wider underwires, and a shallower cup to accommodate an implant without the nipple and areola. That may give you more of the symmetry you are looking for.
Wishing you the best....
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Janice - If your MX side is smaller I certainly would press the issue with your PS. It certainly doesn't have to be. Blessing makes a good point about the bras.
Keep us posted.
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I had my exchange surgery this past Friday, 9/28. It couldn't have gone smoother. I just wanted to share my experience for anyone who has surgery coming up and they're not planning on anything extra like pocket work or work on the opposite breast or anything. I had just the basic. Take out the expander and put in the implant. Only took an hour or so. I had conscious sedation instead of general (makes me very sick). Surgery was at 1:00 (no drains!) and I was home by 4:15 after stopping at the drugstore and I live 45 minutes from the hospital. I rested Saturday and Sunday taking Percocet at night only and Tylenol during the day and I'm back at work today! I know it was easier because she didn't have to do anything extra for which I'm grateful.
Last week I read about 6 months worth of posts on this forum and I really appreciate all the information I got from it. I felt a whole lot better going into the surgery armed with the info. Thanks a lot!!
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Can someone explain some of these terms used on this thread?
Drop and Fluff- Does that mean the breast with the implant will be bigger after that happens? Or Smaller?
Oomph? is that projection?
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