Exchange City

Chantel - I think we all remember how we felt one week before surgery.  So scary and overwhelming.  That we get to make choices along the way is such a double-edged sword.  Please know that this is often the hardest part of the journey.  It won't be easy, but it should get easier once your plan is in place.

I've done pretty well despite some big bumps along the way.  I have to admit that the time I cried the hardest through all of this was the first time I took a "real" shower after surgery.  It was the oddest thing not to feel the water on my chest.  It just floored me and I fell apart.  It only took about a week get used to it.  It still makes me sad, but it is what it is.  I had two cancers so my choice was between unilateral and bilateral MX.  For what it's worth, I chose bilateral and I've never regretted my decision.

Please stay in touch here.  Best wishes!

Just posted somewhere else too. . . Not sure where to go. Today is my first day on site. Had exchange surgery 1 week ago today. Not happy with results. . . Trying to give it time. But, current questions: first, I have been so strong throughout the last year- very positive and optimistic. All I wanted was to get to this surgery. Now, all of a sudden, I am sad, crying everyday and super emotional. I am so disappointed in myself. This is supposed to be the good, happy part! Why am i now so emotional and sad? Also, I am concerned. I thought this was supposed to be my "easy" surgery. But, a week out and I am still so sore. "Breasts" feel like I still have expanders in and got a mega fill. Not terrible- but not great. However, I got mini fat grafting from my belly to help fill in the area around my implants and my stomach is really sore still. I pride myself on being tough. . . Thought I would return to work by now- but can't even imagine going next week. I am a teacher and on my feet 8-9 hours a day. I also have 2 small kids and my husband works nights. So, after work- I am mommy full time all afternoon and night. Don't get me wrong- I long to stay home and be a full time mom- but all this has taken a toll on household finances. I keep reading that after a week, I should be recovered from the exchange surgery. Anyone else have weird emotional responses or prolonged soreness after exchange surgery?

Hi ladies! Must have overdone it yesterday: just going to PS for post-op and to lunch with a friend knocked me out for the rest of yesterday and today. Read back a couple pages and trying to play catch up:



Mamatwinz... yay! Surgery over, you just have healing from here! Hoping the boys can burn some energy while you rest the girls!



Jen... Best of luck tomorrow, prayers and thoughts with you! Please let us know how you're doing after surgery. I had been camping out on the recliner last couple of days, just had enough of it last night, so I stacked pillows and slept in DD's bed (she's away at college) mainly sitting up with arms elevated felt the best. Needed a nap today, so again stacked pillows in my bed (DH at work so I wouldn't wake him with my squirming to get comfortable). Took me 5-10 minutes to get settled comfortable, wouldn't it figure that home phone rang? Said screw it, not worth the effort, probably wouldn't get in time anyway. Not sure where I'll feel comfortable to sleep tonite.



Jdevonm... Feeling so sorry for you! After all you've been through, dr's behavior isn't acceptable. Hoping there's a good resolution for you in the near future.



Chantel... Had 1st mx back in 1996. Feeling did come back in that breast in time, not remembering how many years it took. Now it didn't feel completely the same as before mx, but it was so much better than I had ever expected as the GS at the time said I would never get any feeling back. Again, it's a matter of patience.



Di and Fippy... Any more progress towards drop and fluff? Mine are Mentor 750 HP's still looking flat. Woke up with surgical bra, no gauze wrap. My PS doesn't believe in massage so don't know when to start, if at all. Have seen how to do on web sites, but scared to start, especially since sutures are still taped over. Definitely looks so much better than than mx without recon, but not what I thought. Thinking they'd be more dome-like and not hamburger bun flat. Keep telling myself to be patient (even tho I'm running out of patience about now).



Envious of all of you who seemed to bounce back right back after exchange, it's taking me a while. So don't miss the metal bra feeling!

PamKou - Sounds like you have a lot on your plate.  Exchange surgery is still surgery and everyone recovers differently.  Sometimes the PS makes adjustments during the exchange so could take a while for swelling and pain to subside.  When in doubt, contact your PS.

You pride yourself on being tough and strong and say that you're disappointed in yourself for feeling sad and weak.  Forgive me, but I think you need to cut yourself some slack   Our loved ones struggle through this as well and we are often the ones who are reassuring everyone that all will be OK.  We envision the exchange surgery as "the end" of all this, but we've been changed and life isn't the same.  It can be difficult to just pick up where we left off as if nothing happened.  Is it possible that you've been plowing along, holding everything together, and now you're finally fully dealing with what's just happened to you? 

It sounds like you have done great as you said.  Please don't be too hard on yourself.  Hang in there! 

Pam Kou... You are not alone. Have been having a case of the blues yesterday and today (maybe telling myself I just caught "something" at the hospital to cover?). My PS said it could take up to 4 weeks to feel better so I'm not expecting instant back to normal. For me, it's taken 6 months to get "here": where I've gotten back my usual ROM after months of PT, have energy, and accepting the transition prior to exchange. I don't think I'm weak with all I've been through, I think maybe I set myself up with some unrealistic expectations. Forgot that I still underwent not-so-minor surgery and there's healing time involved. Feel like I took a couple steps back and have to start back with PT. I see others bounce back really quickly but I take a little longer so I want to just be kind to myself, rest up, recover on my own schedule and see how I feel in a couple weeks, planning to take baby steps. Also, maybe I was expecting great relief to be at the end of my cancer journey but this is something that will be with me quite a while longer. Hope it helps you're not alone.

PamKou... Glad you posted too as I've been feeling similarly. PM if you wish to. Get a good night's sleep!

Hi Chantal,

I, too had a BMX a couple of months ago for DCIS, but I am 22 years older than you. I am very pleased with my decision, no regrets, but if I were not done with childbearing I would probably have a lumpectomy so I could breastfeed - not 100% sure but I think that's what I would do.  Having MX vs lumpectomy is a very personal choice. Why don't you list  the pluses and minuses on a sheet of paper and sleep on it - you can even put it under your pillow if you like so you are really sleeping on it! 

Review your notes, and if you still are uncertain, you should schedule an appointment with  a counselor or other health professional to help you sort everything out. My best friend is a physician, and she sat me down and asked me to run through my decision, and when I was done she said "Good - I feel comfortable that you have looked at all of the positives and negatives and are making the right decision for you."

I am about to have my Exchange surgery in a week. While this hasn't exactly been a joy ride, I am at peace with my decision, it is the right one for me. I did have a bout of depression for a few weeks, and that was hard going, but I had a strong support system and was able to navigate my way back to a peaceful outlook.

Take good care of yourself, Chantal,  we're here if you need us. 

Pamkou,

I consider myself pretty tough and my exchange was supposedly pretty simple and straightforward. There was NO way I could have gone back to your schedule in one week!! And I fell apart emotionally off and on for a couple of weeks. It WILL get better!!! I had pain even up to my 6 week post-op (though it had improved a lot by then!) My PS said that the painful areas I pointed out were where he had anchored the implants to the chest wall (or ribs? Can't remember now...) and that they WOULD get better, but would take more time. He was right!! I am now about 9 weeks out I think and I feel pretty much like my normal old self physically. Lefty still gets a twinge now and then. And how normal can you feel when you're still obsessively overanalyzing your chest? Ha!! Hang in there and give yourself time to heal AND time to grieve. I think for me I was in control/research/survival mode...and suddenly I was supposed to be "done", and yet I don't feel done. But the doctors don't dictate my schedule anymore...Kind of like being shoved out of the nest when you don't quite feel ready to fly.

((((Hugs))))

Jdevonm.....I just read your post about your visit - missed it earlier. I am so glad I was not there  (I might have gotten arrested for disturbing the peace). This so called doctor is a total  total di**head - he is a toxic human being and you are better off not having anything ever to do with him. I would report him to your local state board of medicine.  Everyone here has given you good advice, and we are behind you 1000%. Please work with your insurance company and get someone who who is a star in the field.

Congratulations MT....so happy you are on the other side!!

I had my pre-op visit today - I'm  very comfortable with my PS's plan.  Natrelle 410's, full projection. He will try both full and mod height versions to see which is a better fit. I completely trust him. I asked him about infection: he changes  gloves twice during the procedure, so three sets of sterile gloves to reduce risk of infection. 

I am praying for everyone here in our community. You all are wonderful and brave women, and I feel so blessed to have you. 

P.S. I have a secret I have not been sharing with all of you - I've decided that since I will be under anesthesia, with a plastic surgeon.......I might as well also...... I'll tell y'all later!😎

Chantel, just had to poke my head in and add to the discussion. Most of the women here are happy with BMX choices. There are other women like me who are happy with their lumpectomy choice. When I read women saying they chose BMX because "I don't want to have a recurrence" or "I don't want to be disfigured by radiation" -- I feel like I have to say something on behalf of my experience. Radiation didn't disfigure me. A square area of my skin looked suntanned for a year but I had no complications, heart problems etc. And, a mastectomy does not guarantee a cancer-free future. Go to the Stage IV forums and look at the signatures of women who had BMX and even chemo and thought they were "done" with breast cancer. We do what we can to fight recurrence BUT it's not always necessary or useful to sacrifice your breasts and endure multiple surgeries. Women with breast cancer face a spectrum of treatment choices and no one makes the decision without agony and soul searching. I just wanted you to know there are some women completely happy with their decision NOT to have their breasts cut off, just as there are women happy with their BMX.

TarheelM...

Very well said.



I would love to change one thing that people say though. "Have their breasts cut off" to me always sounds like someone took a chainsaw and hacked them right off leaving a large gaping wound. That's not accurate. It's much more like opening a reclosable package and scooping out some of the contents, replacing them with something else (or opting not to) before closing the package again. ;-)



Same package, different stuffing.



You are right in that a BMX has not entirely removed my fear or diligence and I think people need to hear that. So many now say to me, "Yay! Now you never have to worry again." And that is my opportunity to say that now I reduced my risk in that way, however I also do other things to continue to reduce it further as now I know my body is capable of hosting the horrible thing.

TARHEEL--> I am so sorry about your situation & health....

I am sure we are all aware that that "Pink Cloud"  of breast cancer will always be hovering over our heads for the rest of our lives.....I knew BMX was not the be all, END all.....but it sure as hell reduced my chances of recurrences to a lower per cent....JMHO

hwranch: thanks for the update and words of wisdom.  Sounds like you're doing well and are cognizant of the fact that our replacements will not be any more perfect than our originals were (with some exceptions, I'm sure).  Hope you can get some resolution for the 'boobie cap' issue .  My hubby and I, too, are doing fine in the bedroom.  I don't actually do much sleeping there (still on the couch for comfort), but I have plenty of other areas that can be caressed, right?  And, as I like to say, as long as God keeps making batteries I'll be just fine .  Seriously, though, I can't express how thankful I am for the fact that my hubby still thinks I'm hot even without nipples and with my current rock hard TEs!  That's a huge mental plus for recovery and beyond.  Not much feeling in either side for me and since I haven't exchanged yet, there'll still be another couple of incisions to heal too. 

The whole 'have their breasts cut off' thing is something I had to educate a lot of people on.  When I hear that term I think of a machete rather than a chainsaw, but the effect is the same.  I don't refer to a lumpectomy as 'having a chunk of your breast removed'.  When you think about it a lumpectomy and mastecomy are really just two sides of the same coin.....the lumpectomy just takes less out of that reclosable bag than the mastectomy does.

Just scanned through the list above and am hoping all is going well for Thirdgenerationmomof2 today!  I have a hard time keeping track of names and dates.....maybe I should put 'em in a spreadsheet and print it out for easy reference instead of having to scroll back to the top to check all the time.

Hi ladies! Mamatwinz glad to hear you are doing well and you are happy so far with the results! I'm happy to hear the Sientra anatomicals are working well for you. My PS mentioned using them on me possibly too.



Well....I did NOT have exchange today

When I had my pre-op EKG done it came back abnormal. Doc said he could not clear me for surgery with an EKG like that. I had one in Feb before BMX and even though that EKG was slightly off, doc was not too concerned. Said it was from years of smoking and my heart was a little enlarged. Said in time that should correct itself (stopped smoking in Jan after learning of cancer diagnosis).



EKG taken yesterday was VERY different from EKG taken in Feb. Not sure why the big change or what's going on. Today I went for CT scan to check for pulmonary embolism. Radiologist reviewed films and said she saw nothing of any concern. Tomorrow I go see cardiologist for ecogram and stress test. Then I follow up on Friday to get results. If nothing serious is shown he can clear me for surgery.



Talked to my PS office and if I get the ok on Friday they can reschedule me for exchange on Thursday, 05/02.



Hoping all my tests come out normal and I get the ok to proceed. I feel wonderful actually-no chest pain or shortness of breath. Not sure why my EKG is whacked out?! I guess I try to be good and get myself healthy and my heart doesn't know how to handle it?! Lol



Glad to hear all of you post-op ladies are doing well and slowly feeling better day by day. I guess I got to hold on one more week until I can be on the squishy side!



Hugs,



Jen