TRIPLE POSITIVE GROUP

Yay Gout!!  My buddy recently had a hysterectomy without ooph and they did it robotically.  She had very little down time.

OK, lots of thinking here as I prepare my hospital goody bag for tomorrow's port removal.  I honestly think the reason I'm worrying about this is because I'm no longer in "fight mode".  Seriously, I went to the first chemo and for the lumpectomy with no hesitation.  I was more like "bring it!". Now I feel like a shrinking violet, afraid of even walking in the hospital...my home-away-from-home for a year and a half.  WTF?

I think it is really hard on our psyche once we give up the fight.  It reminds me of grad/med school, all those semesters being so geared up to "win" and "fight" and then you'd get home after your last exam, sleep a lot, read glamour magazine for the first time in months, and get sad and depressed.  Again, WTF?

We are such complex creatures.  I've decided it is time to focus on gardening, lose the port, kick it to the curb and forget the fight.  Think that is possible?

Ladies, I will have my TE exchange to implant in mid May.  My PS told me that she can take some fat from my tummy n around my upper thigh to fill up the dent around my upper bone/top of my breast.  Any of you done this before.  Take out fat from tummy n upper thight is it painful.  Thanks

soriya - yes, I had this done - made a huge difference and really softened up the upper area where the implants were very pronounced.  I had a fairly easy time, not much discomfort, but did have to wear compression (Spanx) for 8 weeks and could not go to the gym.

Goutlaw - adding my congratulations on finishing radiation, I remember when you joined - so proud of you for getting this far

PBrain - we are complicated creatures, aren't we? I think that I also was more ambivalent about the port removal - it did concern me, way more than the insertion did at the time. I think I was also subconsciously wondering if I should be having it removed, it served me well, all the 'what if's' were coming to mind. I will be in your pockets tomorrow - you will be fine and you will be telling someone else here about it in the not so distant future take care

pbrain - I will be thinking of you tomorrow - I am returning to the OR tomorrow morninh as I have not healed the torn skin from my re-meshing surgery in March, and now have an infection. We will be loopy from anesthetic together!

Pbrain,

I'm with you 100% , move on... go forward....I am just a few months behind you.....but I so want this all behind me.

Vivian

Pbrain, I feel so much weaker than I ever did before I started -- because I am!  When you are going through all that, you and everyone around you is focused on the cancer.  You probably don't have a big support network around your port removal (other than us of course). 

I don't know if this story makes sense or seems like a strange segue, but I have been having a lot of shortness of breath.  There is a part of me that thinks of lung mets and allergies as being equally likely causes.  So I batted that around in my head for awhile, consulted dr. google about lung mets symptoms etc.  Then I finally decided that, even if it was just allergies, it has been sufficiently disruptive and unpleasant over the last few weeks that I could see a doctor anyway.  Even if I didn't think it was cancer.  So I did and my PCP gave me a prescription for Flonase.  We'll see if that helps.  When I can't breathe I can't sleep too well.

I think after all these doctor visits -- probably we all had more in the first year post diagnoses than we did our whole previous lives -- tend to make you associate going to the doctor with having cancer.  So the port removal maybe seems like a bigger deal than it actually is because now there is all that stuff attached to it.

Does that make any sense? 

cypher shortness of breath can be so many things that aren't cancer including anxiety or stress. Since you had Herceptin make sure it isn't your heart... but if your gut is telling you it's allergies then that's probably what it is. 

SpecialK will be thinking of you and Pbrain today. You both have been through so much.

Well soriya I have plenty of fat now. Put on some weight since pre-chemo days. I did put on weight on chemo but most of it was water retention. Weight now is a combo of Arimidex and  menopause. Still not a weight problem but I wish I could lose 5-10 lbs.

But she probably doesn't need that much. I know that on top I am very thin. The fat transfer really helps make the implants look nice.

Cypher did they tell u what the result were with the echo? And I think there is a time when everything in u'r body is saying mets but it's not, it's just so part of this whole thing.

PBrain-SpecialK my thoughts are with u--I hope u both have uneventful happenings and u feel good when u leave. And PBrain I so agree with u at first it go go go every week Drs. and tests and chemo and etc--then finally after a while it slows down and u wonder what the hell is happening. I'm still pretty regular, but I postpone lots of things for different reasons and I still hate going now more than ever.  But u've been thru crazy stuff and so glad u'r done and SpecialK u'v had some crazy stuff too. So this should go well. 

Pbrain, I hope your port removal is easy and uneventful. Give it few days and then refocus on gardening and have the best garden ever this year!

SpecialK, I am sorry that you are not healing well and going back into the OR today. I know that is a disappointment to say the least

Praying for you both.

 Pbrain.   Best wishes for an easy procedure today.

SpecialK  -  wow I am so sorry to hear about your infection. Hope they resolve it today. You have certainly had more than your share of complications and yet you are so upbeat and you continue to help others. THANK YOU .

 You are in my thoughts and prayers.

i'm with naiviv, can't wait to get this all finished! and that port OUT as I sign that I will NOT need it ever again!!

i too have the indentation above my implant "breast" - PS said I could do the fat filler eventually - hello - if they know it happens ( i was told because the Mastectomy surgeons take too much out?) why don't they fix it from the get go? I also have a side flap that's gotta go on my reduction side - but again - why is it there?? had no clue I would have to go back in for "touch  up" surgery - what the hey? 

meanwhile the rads are still tightening the screws on the new "breast" - feels like a bowling ball again - actually baseball is better size eval but bowling ball is how it feels - anyone else get this from Rads?

that is what the PS told me - nobody wants anything to be their fault - personally I think it's becuz the expander was placed way high in my chest- much higher than the implant - that's where i have the most pain even now

ok i'm asking all my groups - anyone try the onions in the shampoo for hair growth? don't want to ruin a perfectly good bottle of shampoo...

LOL.  Cypher. Let's see. SOB! LOL.  Fatigue. For me walking was very hard. (I mean even more than usual) I was often tired. Now remember I have a pacemaker so my pulse is never lower than 60. But but because the heart does not push hard enough the heart only pushes out less than half it's volume it's not exchanging oxygen enough for your body. Much like anemia you feel weak. During chemo I had 2 blood transfusions and it felt like right before I had them. But remember it drops slowly and you don't notice it til you get really tired. Just another thing from the cancer that keeps on giving. BTW Cypher I am also on flonase. It really does help. Especially in the spring. Does anyone use a Nettie pot or the squeeze bottle equivalent?  That really helped me in the months when allergies act up. 

Lago. You look so good. You don't need to lise! 

Soriya remember everyone is different. We all hope you will get through it with NO problem at all. We really do. It makes us feel good to hear good news. So it will be a good operation and you will heal fadt! Yes. May it be so! 

PBRAIN and SK, praying everything will go just right fir you both. You both deserve it! 

Much love.