TRIPLE POSITIVE GROUP

OMG!  Beautiful?  Ure too kind!!!  I just finished crying and blowing my nose before he snapped the picture!  

All my life I've had bangs. My grandmother used to say "angel take the hair out of ur eyes". Well it only took 50 years!!!!

Lol

Cami - after you removed it - I deleted what I  had saved but I was feeling horrible before I read it - and the way your wrote about the day made me laugh so hard I actually cried.  I  know that although some of it isn't funny - you presented it in a way that only you could.  I just want  you to know that you actually made my day and made me feel so much better when i was having a hard time.  

Lago - you crack me up with those photo comparisons.  

Footballnut my friend - I think you have an emotional crash right after the steriods wear off for you like ashla says - I think it was about the same time after last treatment that you had a really down day emotionally.  Get that motorcycle and be prepared to ride it for many many many years - but don't expect me to get on it with you - they scare the chit out of me LOL - maybe as much as chemo.

Starting to feel a bit better but I may have a bit of a UTI or kidney thing going on - got some mid-back pain and foamy urine - no strange odor and not dark or anything and doesn't burn but just odd - the pain in my back isn't bad just there.  No fever today although yesterday I went between 99 and 100 all day.  Also with those elevated liver tests it makes me anxious.

I'm pulling up stuff from a few days ago in the conversation, but for what it's worth:

Lumps vs Mammo

I found my lumps, subsequent diagnostic mammogram was "clear" because of dense breast tissue.   Yes - that motivated my BMX.  I was done with mammos.  

I think the injury / cancer link may have some legitimacy - my largest lump was in the exact spot where I always got mastitis when I was nursing.   Maybe scar tissue is a hotbed for cancer cells.  

Rads vs no Rads

My RO said that 1-3 nodes was the grey area, but that she was hesitant to give passes because there was just enough info that some 4+node women had better long term outcomes than those with 1-3 nodes.  But all that was before Herceptin, so . . .

My rads were to skin, chest wall, supraclavical nodes and drain sites with boosts to the scar.   

Chemo vs ovaries 

I was 37 when I started treatment, and had my last pre-chemo cycle the day of my first TCH.   My cycles returned about 4 months PFC, and I was ovulating like crazy (talk about some hormone overload!).   I developed ovarian cysts, had crazy cycles for 3 months, then they disappeared for 3 months until I stopped tamoxifen for my exchange surgery.    Now I've had two cycles two weeks apart since I restarted the tamoxifen.    Supposed to get follow-up u/s in June, so we'll see.    

Oh Football I was a mess on Thanksgiving, 2012.  I'd just gotten out of the hospital, lost 20 lbs there, was more tired than I've ever been in my life and poof, I could pull my hair out of my scalp like it wasn't attached anymore.  And I did, for about an hour, pulled it all out and was Telly Sevalis bald.  It's tough but you do get through it.  Now I have more hair than I know what to do with, back to the natural wildscape that I've always had on my head.  This is all so temporary!  I remember, looking back, thinking wow, that wasn't that long.

...and lago, i do not think you were ug at all! you actually from what i can see in the picture, have a very finely shaped head.

Inspiring photos lago. Thanks so much for sharing. Looking that the dates it seems like your hair grew back fast!

lago with or without hair u r beautiful!!

Lago, fun that you know Northampton and the happy valley! I have a good friend in Evanston but haven't made it out to the Windy City yet. 

Vballmom- I grew up in Wethersfield and Farmington, just outside Hartford. Congrats on your son's graduation!

Futball, Efcjax and the rest who are going through treatment now- you are doing great! As my friend who's  a runner said once about my frickin' 20 weeks of chemo, it's a marathon, not a sprint. You just have to get through the next hour, or the day- sleep is your friend as is binge-TV. And it's ok to feel down and feel your feelings. 

I thought I wouldn't mind losing my hair because I never liked it that much anyway (fine, limp,) but it's been tough. One of the hardest days for me was when I had my kids cut my hair short. They thought it was fun taking scissors to my hair, which was the point, but it just brought it all home to me and I couldn't help but cry. Soon after my DD did the sweetest thing- she found a children's book we had read long ago called Antler's Forever about a moose who is freaked out because he's losing his antlers and he does everything he can to keep them, but eventually a friend tells him it's part of the process to lose them, and that they'll grow back.  Of course that made me cry more but in a good way. 

Now, I'm thankful for that thicker fine limp hair now that it's growing back so slooooowly.  And like Lago, I put on makeup everyday- never did that before in my life. I also wore a fabulous wig- thick and long- got lots of compliments from strangers on my hair!

Thanks LeeA, momwriter and all the rest of you great encouragers.  Yes, two chemo treatments down.  I've had such bad SEs the MO said she may have to reduce the dose next time.  Saturday was a really hard day, but felt quite a bit better yesterday, until I bent over to pick up all the bits of hair around the drain and hurt my back.  I was like, "are you kidding me?"  This morning I got up and shaved the rest of my hair.  I'm tired of it falling out all over my pillow and every time I touch it.  Back still has issues but that's been going on for years, so I can get through that.  So glad to have this extra day off today.  Working through this chemo treatment has been a real challenge.  Happy Memorial Day everyone!

Happy Memorial Day! Thinking of all those that went before me, and grateful I can still celebrate Memorial Day on this side.

Regarding hair-I was planning to shave mine, but it fell out so slowly, I got 2/34ds of the way through chemo before wearing a wig. Didn't lose eyelashes or eyebrows. Then, three weeks after chemo, it all fell out. Like Lago, it was slow to grow back while on herceptin.

Linda, I had a kidney stone that had been stable for ten years. Right at the end of chemo, I'm driving, close to my oncs office, when intense back pain started. I suspected it was kidney related.mshowed up at my docs office unannounced right as they were closing. He sent me for a cat scan, stayed there and told me to come back. After the scan, I go back up and they have all stayed. It is 6:30 now. He hooked me up to some good juice and fluids as I was ready to pass out, read the result and said looked like two pieces had broken off. So I spent two days in the hospital peeing in a strainer which showed nothing, lol. Urologist thought it was related to chemo, but it lead to lithotripsy the following January to blast it all out.

I too think the psychological component is the worst (although hot flashes are a close second). I read a quote once that said "stripped of confidence in my future." That hit home for me. I really went happily through life, still try to, but I feel like there is an end date lurking out there now.

With my new concern over endometrial cancer, I have started assuming that I will never get away from it. It just keeps rearing it's ugly head. And I thought recurrence was my main worry. Didn't think I would get the cancer side effect of tamoxifen! But, I'll get through it. Hoping it is early and an unplanned hysterectomy will resolve the issue.

Lago, I am laughing my ass off at the visual! Take a squirt gun with you! Don't let that little pecker win! Bahahaha.

I held open houses in a house with a bird who had nested in the covered front porch. Owner wouldn't get rid of it. That bird used to dive bomb me if I got anywhere ne'er the front of the house. I had to let people in through the garage. It was kind of fun to watch the little ones grow though.

LOL at "little pecker." 

My ex-husband once killed a crow in our backyard with a bb gun.  Really dumb move but that's just how he rolled.  Apparently crows mate for life and the dead crow's mate must have seen who did the evil deed because it would often swoop in like it was going for his head.  It never did that to me (thank goodness).  

Too funny Lago - got watch out for birds - I will remember that as my hair hopefully comes back - we have a special type of blue jay in my part of florida called a scrub jay - they are a protected species and as mean as can be - they dive bomb peeps all the time.   I remember seeing "the birds" when I was young and  that movie terrified me.  To me much scarier than jaws.    

Cami - glad to hear that you had a nice time at your DD'1 and that there weren't too many bets made and that your cousin realized that you were not playing -  happy that you enjoyed the pool.  

Doing pretty good hear after tx two - just some bowel issues - not really diarrhea - but loose and a little painful to pass and a bit crampy for the last day or two - I think my bowels are just irritated.  

Go today for my followup bloodwork on my liver - hope those tests show things returning to normal.

Spent the day with my brother hubby and daughter - we grilled out and just relaxed.   Daughter took this picture and said I should be sitting on a harley 

Hello ladies, I've been MIA for a while . Was sick for some time and surgery was rescheduled 3 times.

Finally had BMX with aux dis 8 nodes , all pathology clear . TEs in place but having so many issues post surgery , incision opening fluid draining ,  its been 2 months and no fills yet. During this whole process Ive tried to remain positive and upbeat but I really believe Im depressed now , I have all the classic signs of it . Thought after surgery all would be good but its a mess , Im tired no fight left in me .

Hope all of you are doing well !

footballnut Today I watched 2 people pass that area and they did not get attacked. It's just me. I walked on the path behind the tree so I wouldn't get attacked today. I'm telling you it wants my hair to make a nest.