Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
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What a beautiful individual. Many well wishes to you and yours and what a story. I'm still holding my breath a little....guess I was holding it so hard though most of the recounting of the events that got you such a wonderful son.
Whew !!!!!
Blessings
Jackie
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Wow! Anne.... you are an angel! This is the story I was thinking about.... This whole trial was televised, and I watched it whenever I could...
http://zoey24.hubpages.com/hub/Fight-for-Baby-Jessica
I love your Son! Congratulations for being such wonderful caring Parents.
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Anne, such a wonderful happy ending. What does your son think about the whole situation?
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Some heartfelt stories here today and several with happy endings. Many of you know that my daughter Stephanie raised two little girls from birth and had legal custody. Their mother took them when the oldest was 9 and fled the state of Texas. The authorities would do nothing. The police said if they came back to Texas, we should call them, but they wouldn't go to LA to get them. (We tracked them there.) Even though it was a kidnapping, the FBI wouldn't get involved because it was the biological mother. The fact that she had given away all four of her children made no difference. Before "our" two girls, there were two other children given away (one to a stranger at a gas station and the other to a distant relative in LA.) The fact that Stephanie had legal custody made no difference.
The older girl was in remission from leukemia, but still in treatment. We heard nothing for years and thought surely Cheyenne was dead. But she survived and when she got old enough, she contacted my daughter who now lives in Florida. They've visited each other and talk often. She's 19 now. The younger girl is not in touch and still in LA.
This devastated Stephanie, as you can imagine. She is 37 now and was never able to have children. She married in order to have one, but she lost two pregnancies, went through infertility treatment, and finally divorced. Life is unfair, as we know. We are pleased that she has contact with one of the girls. Cheyenne doesn't remember us. We were grandma & grandpa, but she doesn't remember. Our other daughter, 41, has been unable to have a baby either and our son has mental illness. We are 65 & 66 and always thought life would turn out differently. Currently all 3 children are doing ok and we are reasonably healthy, so we have much to be thankful for.
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Hi everyone
Chevy- I remember the baby Jessica story. We could have gone thru the same thing with our adopted daughter- her mother originally put the wrong name down as father. Luckily, a friend told her she needed to put the real fathers name, in case Jamie ever needed him medically, so she did. The father didn't want her, but wanted the mother to keep her. When he realized that wasn't an option, he signed the release papers.
Sandra- how does Tim feel about it all? Of course he doesn't have any memory of all the hoopla, but he believes he is exactly where he needs to be. He is extremely close to me, and my oldest daughter, who is his second mother. But he has an incredibly close bond to his brother Rob. They are 11years apart, but Rob taught him to play sports, then coached him year round in 4sports from the time he was 5 until he started playing basketball for his middle, then high school. Tim is an incredible athlete, and Rob nurtured him every step of the way. Tim and his girlfriend ( and we all hope, his future wife), have started a non-profit organization focusing on helping long term foster children realize their full potential despite their childhood issues. They have had a basketball tournament to raise money, then held a picnic at Easter for a local group home. You can check them out at the3GProject.org . Tim has no interest at all in locating his birth parents.
Anne
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AW. That's nice Anne. (heart swelling)
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Anne, blessings to you for sharing.
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Grouchy.
I keep getting "Happy Memorial Day" messages. Really? Does the younger generation know that Memorial Day is to honor the dead? It's not a happy day. Some are confusing it with Veteran's Day, including our local tv station that has been showing a clip of current soldiers and urging us to, "Tell these soldiers how much we appreciate their service on this Memorial Day." That's not it at all. Obviously my job is not to educate well-meaning people who are confused, but I try to gently remind them that today is to remember the fallen. So far so good. BUT - Happy Memorial Day? I draw the line. Maybe it doesn't matter to some, but I lost my mother's brother in Viet Nam and many, many friends during our military career. This is not a day to celebrate.
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Sandra, the graphic really says it all. I don't know if this will copy and paste well, but I'm going to give it a try:
History
[img width="190" height="300" class="custom-frame" alt="decoration-day" src="http://www.suvcw.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/decoration-day-190x300.jpg">
Memorial Day, originally called Decoration Day, is a day of remembrance for those who have died in service of the United States of America. Over two dozen cities and towns claim to be the birthplace of Memorial Day. While Waterloo N.Y. was officially declared the birthplace of Memorial Day by President Lyndon Johnson in May 1966, it’s difficult to prove conclusively the origins of the day.Regardless of the exact date or location of its origins, one thing is clear – Memorial Day was borne out of the Civil War and a desire to honor our dead. It was officially proclaimed on 5 May 1868 by General John Logan, national commander of the Grand Army of the Republic, in his General Order No. 11. “The 30th of May, 1868, is designated for the purpose of strewing with flowers, or otherwise decorating the graves of comrades who died in defense of their country during the late rebellion, and whose bodies now lie in almost every city, village and hamlet churchyard in the land,” he proclaimed. The date of Decoration Day, as he called it, was chosen because it wasn’t the anniversary of any particular battle.
On the first Decoration Day, General James Garfield made a speech at Arlington National Cemetery, and 5,000 participants decorated the graves of the 20,000 Union and Confederate soldiers buried there.
The first state to officially recognize the holiday was New York in 1873. By 1890 it was recognized by all of the northern states. The South refused to acknowledge the day, honoring their dead on separate days until after World War I (when the holiday changed from honoring just those who died fighting in the Civil War to honoring Americans who died fighting in any war).
It is now celebrated in almost every state on the last Monday in May with Congressional passage of the National Holiday Act of 1971 (P.L. 90 – 363). This helped ensure a three day weekend for Federal holidays, though several southern states have an additional separate day for honoring the Confederate war dead: January 19th in Texas; April 26th in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, and Mississippi; May 10th in South Carolina; and June 3rd (Jefferson Davis’ birthday) in Louisiana and Tennessee.
Red Poppies
In 1915, inspired by the poem “In Flanders Fields,” Moina Michael replied with her own poem:
We cherish too, the Poppy red
That grows on fields where valor led,
It seems to signal to the skies
That blood of heroes never dies.She then conceived of an idea to wear red poppies on Memorial day in honor of those who died serving the nation during war. She was the first to wear one, and sold poppies to her friends and co-workers with the money going to benefit servicemen in need. Later a Madam Guerin from France was visiting the United States and learned of this new custom started by Ms. Michael. When she returned to France she made artificial red poppies to raise money for war orphaned children and widowed women. This tradition spread to other countries. In 1921, the Franco-American Children’s League sold poppies nationally to benefit war orphans of France and Belgium. The League disbanded a year later and Madam Guerin approached the VFW for help.
Shortly before Memorial Day in 1922 the VFW became the first veterans’ organization to nationally sell poppies. Two years later their “Buddy” Poppy program was selling artificial poppies made by disabled veterans. In 1948 the US Post Office honored Ms. Michael for her role in founding the National Poppy movement by issuing a red 3 cent postage stamp with her likeness on it.
National Moment of Remembrance
The “National Moment of Remembrance” resolution was passed on Dec 2000 which asks that at 3 p.m. local time, for all Americans “To voluntarily and informally observe in their own way a Moment of remembrance and respect, pausing from whatever they are doing for a moment of silence or listening to ‘Taps.”
I hope the dreaded strange lines don't show up when I hit the submit button.
Jackie
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Great info. Thanks Jackie.
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Morning bestest friends! Our stories might help someone else, you know? Maybe another gal is still going through some sort of memories that really hurt her, but I think telling "SOMEone" that can't talk back to us, and tell us what we SHOULD have done, really helps us.
Sandra... I know.... My DD called, and said "WHY does everybody say Happy Memorial Day? It is NOT happy for a lot of people... they are missing the whole point" This is so true... I think over the years, the younger generation just celebrate "another holiday" without giving it any thought.
Jackie, that is such a beautiful article! I remember my folks wearing those crepe paper red poppies!
I hate wars... I hate when our men are sent into battle for any reason.... especially to a foreign country. If we have to defend OUR country, that is different.... If smacking someone down protects our country, then that seems okay.... If everyone would just behave.
But those of us that are older are just scared to death of the word War... We remember the air-raid sirens, and the black window-shades, and the bread lines... And remember when President Kennedy kept the US from that invasion in the Bay of Pigs? I was so afraid.....
http://www.jfklibrary.org/JFK/JFK-in-History/The-B... I remember sitting, listening to the TV, waiting for my Husband to get off work, and crying with 2 baby girls, and thinking we were going to War!
Or when Russia and the US were always trying to out-do each other with their War-words? Memorial Day is to remember those terrible wars, and the military we lost....and to learn lessons, so it never happens again.
Okay, I'll get off my soap box... Some of these holidays just get on my nerves.... and I KNOW it's because I'm older...
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We can do anything for one day.
So, just for today, let us be unafraid of life, unafraid of death which
is the shadow of life; unafraid to be happy, to enjoy the beautiful, to believe
the best. . . . Just for today, let us be agreeable, responsive, cheerful,
charitable; be our best , dress our best, walk softly, praise people for what
they do, not criticize them for what they cannot do. And if we find fault, let us forgive and
forget it.
Joseph Fort Newton0 -
Jackie,
The Dash is now my favorite poem. Thanks for posting it.
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Chevy, My Dad was a civilian working for the Air Force at a SAC maintenance base. They called him to come into work during the Cuban crisis and didn't let him go home for 4 days. You can imagine how stressful that was for my Mom. I remember being plenty worried, but she didn't tell me that until much later.
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Since I grew up in St. Petersburg, FL and the fighter aircraft were based a few miles across the bay in Tampa, everyone understood that if the Cuban Missile Crisis got worse, we would be one of the first areas hit. Not only did we practice getting under our desks, they would have drills all during the day, no notice, to make sure we knew what to do while walking to lunch or on the playground. We had simulated attacks where parents were called to come get us. Another where we were released and told to walk home, then call the school to tell them how long it took. My father, a policeman, was on duty for days. Don't know where he was. None of the adults would talk about it much, not even afterward. We had to have survival food, a tub filled with water at all times, and plastic with tape to secure windows from radioactivity.
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If anyone likes historical/romance fiction, I'd like to recommend Lauren Linwood, a retired history teacher with whom I worked for years. Another teacher with whom I worked was Reavis Z. Wortham. He writes the Red River mystery series that take place in north Texas in the 60s. I'm a retired teacher who does not plan to write a book. I'd rather read them.
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I know.... That was the scariest time of my life...! The Cuban Missle Crisis.... I thought for SURE we were in a lot of trouble!
When we got married, my DH got a draft notice.... We were expecting our first baby, and I wrote them back, and told them this.... So they didn't draft him! Then in 1960, same thing! But I was pregant again, and wrote them back, so we missed THAT draft!
I just don't know what I would do, if my Grand-Sons were ever drafted..... Maybe I worry too much.... but these wars, in my lifetime, are just too much! First WW2, then the Korean War, and my BIL was fighting in Viet Nam.... THEN Aftanistan! Plus all the other scares! I was too little to remember Pearl Harbor, wasn't that 1942?....but that's why we had WW2.... My Brother enlisted in the Navy in about 1956, but no war was going on!
Teacher, I just went through all my Readers Digest condensed books! Those have maybe 4 or 5 short stories in them. I bought a whole box, at a yard sale, so I'm hanging on to them, to read..."someday!"
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We probably wouldn't have wars if women were in charge.
DH and I had a good weekend in Mobile. We got back home yesterday about 10:30 am and I tackled painting the new guest room/old office. It was fairly easy since the room was empty of furniture except for a table in the middle. The hardest job was removing a wallpaper border. The new color is a pale yellow.
Now dh and I have to buy a queen-sized mattress set for the room. Get some blinds for two of the windows. Hang some pictures.
So my painting and redoing rooms should be finished for this decade!
We're supposed to be getting some rain showers the next few days. We really do need some rain.
Wishing everyone a restful night.
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When we were in college, there was a deferral from the draft for the guys that changed from year to year. Lots of my husband's older fraternity brothers were in a panic as they approached graduation in 1966-69. Many of them got married because married guys got a deferral. Then that went away and you had to have a child to get a deferral. Finally if you worked for a defense contractor like Honeywell, you got a deferral. By the time Mike graduated deferrals were nearly impossible to get and his old fraternity brothers were stuck in loveless marriages with kids to support.
My husband took the minimum 9 hours for a couple of semesters so he could push four years into five and graduate in 1970 instead of 1969. Otherwise he would have had to go since his draft number in '69 was 17. The next year his number was 13 so we knew he was going one way or the other after graduation. He applied for Air Force pilot training and took all the tests, but it took forever to find out. In the meantime, his draft notice came in the mail. Just before he had to report to the draft board in the summer of 1970, the Air Force notified him he was accepted so he took that letter right down to the draft board and told them they were too late. He would be flying over the rice paddys rather than trudging through them.
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Fighting in wars that aren't even HERE is just un-called for! I'm so sorry our men and women have to be a part of this.... You are right Carole! No we wouldn't have wars, if women were in charge!
Sandra.... I didn't know all the requirements during "those years".... I was scared enough, just thinking of DH having to leave me... and then maybe never come home. WW2 was just too close to home...My Mom worked for Burlington RR, cleaning out Pullman cars, that were used to transport soldiers to the War....
And we had a couple service-men living with us when Dad was gone. I was only 7... but one of them almost scarred me for life! I was threatened by him, and ..... I had better not tell what he did... I know he has died by now.... When I finally told my Mom, after I was married, she just said "Why didn't you tell me?"
A 7 year old is only afraid... Afraid of what they SAY they will do, afraid of your Mom getting mad, because you didn't "mind."
All those memories came rushing out one day, right when Marilyn VanDerbur was telling her incest story! A little kid can hide, and forget things, if memories are too bad... But sooner or later, those repressed memories come flooding out...
I'm surprised I am as normal as I am.... Ha! I mean if I knew something like that happened to my Daughter's I would be stalking someone for the rest of my life.
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We were made to enjoy
music, to enjoy beautiful sunsets, to enjoy looking at the billows of the sea
and to be thrilled with a rose that is bedecked with dew. . . . Human beings
are actually created for the transcendent, for the sublime, for the
beautiful, for the truthful. . . and all of us are given the task of trying
to make this world a little more hospitable to these beautiful things.
Desmond Tutu0 -
Sorry about the above spacing.....I just reported to the Mods.
. I tried my usual Edit and it just didn't want to do it....in fact, it actually locked up the page and nothing would work and I had to wait until it released. Egads.Jackie
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My next surgery (#5) was supposed to be in June. Just got word that my plastic surgeon has postponed it until September. His primary job at Brooke Army Medical Center is in the Burn Unit, taking care of wounded soldiers. This week there was an influx of burned soldiers who will each require numerous surgeries in the coming months. All of his patients who could wait were moved to September. While I'm disappointed not to be able to get this all behind me, of course I understand and would have been the first one to raise my hand to volunteer to postpone mine if asked.
We're going to Seattle Aug 28 and our cruise to Alaska begins a few days later, so I'm glad my doctor didn't postpone my surgery until August. I probably wouldn't have been able to go to Alaska at all. Now I can do some of the more active excursions like paddling a canoe, hiking, and climbing on Douglas Glacier. I wasn't considering those since I would have been seven or eight weeks out of surgery with limited upper body strength. Now nothing is off limits. No surgery in June has turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Yay!
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Teacher...I'm with you! I'd rather read a book than try to write one! I read just about anything but prefer a good mystery. I love it when I find a book that I just can't put down! :-)Carole, you are right! Women should be in charge and there would be lots of changes.......and for the better!
It's a lovely day here in Central Illinois. I golfed this morning. The game was lowest putts and I actually won! I'm not that great of a golfer so it's quite a "treat" when I win! I just love being with the other ladies and being out on the course. I don't think I've ever seen an ugly golf course!
Ann, I loved your story about your fight for your son. Wow! You are one fantastic lady!
Well, I actually need to cook tonight so I need to get off here. I think it's going to be goulash for dinner tonight!
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Sandra, glad the surgery postponement works out well for you.
Rita, congrats on your win! Today was my golf day, too, but I awoke to thunder this morning and turned off my alarm clock. It has been pouring down rain for much of the day. Our rain gauge shows 3 1/2 inches.
I've been working indoors all day. The guest room looks good except for an empty bed frame!
Tonight's dinner will be grilled flank steak that is marinating in the refrigerator. The marinade is a Rachel Ray recipe that I've used before and like. In addition to the steak, I took a pack of cooked lima beans and cooked brown rice out of the freezer. We'll have that and a salad as our sides.
Hope everyone had a good day.
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Hi dear friends
I finished rads today. My appt was 8:00 and by 9:45 I was on the way to the airport. I am home in Ft Laud. We picked up the grandson I live with on the way home from the airport and will be leaving in a few minutes to surprise the other 2 at Kayden's preschool graduation. It feels so good to be home!
Sandra- I can't imagine going thru what your daughter went thru. I panicked when Jamie's biological mom turned up again and she was 18. Had no need to worry - their relationship is not good-- but Jamie did find out she has a half-sister.
Anne
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WOW so many interesting life stories! My life history is very boring in comparison. I was born right here in Corvallis on Jan. 31,1945 while my dad was attending Oregon State on the GI Bill. My dad never saw combat in WW2. I had a very normal childhood being the oldest of 3 children, had a close knit family and was raised in Salem,Or. I must have been very sheltered as I barely remember the Cuban Missile Crisis. It was Fall of my senior year in high school and I was more concerned with Homecoming and arguing with my boyfriend. Following graduation I only attended college for 2 terms before meeting my husband, got engaged, quit school, married at the ripe age of 20 and then we both worked to put him through college. He was in the National Guard so never was drafted.
Our first son was born when Mike was a sophomore at OSU and my cousin babysat when I returned to work. I worked at the hospital and absolutely loved my job as switchboard operator.....Never a dull moment! Sometimes I worked the 3-11 shift and I still remember the message I delivered at 8pm each evening....."Visiting hours are now over in all departments. Please exit as soon as possible so that our patients may rest." I also admitted patients to the hospital and one of the questions we asked was "smoking or non-smoking room"? This was during the years 1967-1971. Lol
My adult life has had many more challenges, especially the loss of our oldest son, but there have also been many blessings. We have 3 wonderful sons, 4 DILs we consider our daughters, and 7 beautiful grandchildren. We have been able to travel extensively with Mike's career as an engineer and now are able to enjoy our vacation home in retirement so life is good. We will celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary in Nov. of 2015 and are planning a year full of celebration!
I have so enjoyed getting to know all of you better through your postings and envy the accomplishments of many of you......author, teachers, broom maker, clown for children, caregiver for the elderly etc. So many talented women!
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I've missed so much conversation and agree with what I've read to catch up. Somehow my favorite thread got deleted from favorites. It took some searching to find you again. My computer is back and we'll. but I forgot a charger for this week at the cabin. Am stuck using a tiny phone. But I'll keep reading. Lymphodema seems to be going down
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True beauty is more than skin deep.
Love the person, not the appearance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie0 -
Anne, its official. No way in the world I could keep up with you. You will never get old.....old can't catch up to you.
Judy.....I loved reading your story. I had forgotten that visitors and patients could smoke inside of hospitals and it was perfectly acceptable. We really have come a long way. Now, at some hospitals....you have to be nearly off the grounds to smoke. I do feel for some of the patients I see with their IV poles and they walk out to the parking lot and smoke in a family or friend's car. Difficult I guess when you are not feeling good to have to go through all that to smoke......though it is so bad for you, but when you are addicted.
I use to wonder how people could stand it if they lost a child, younger or older, but there is so much strength inside ourselves that we don't realize is there.
Mimi, I'm so glad you are back and that your computer's cancer has been cured. Its the pits when things go strong with these machines we have come to rely on. Glad you are making progress with your arm too.
Going to be a long day here but should be fine. More rain in the forecast. We haven't seemed to have as much as predicted, but since it is staying in the forecast....there is still lots of time.
See you all later.
Blessings
Jackie
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