INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours

Oh I can't let THESE posts pass me by!

Just brings to mind when MY DH was going through something!  It was after he was retired, and was trying to consume every drop of Beer Coors could put out.

I was ready to retire, did not think things would go from worse to even worser!   But yes, they did!

I went "through" it...  You ladies might too, but something has to change.  I wrote once, how I had to get out of there.... and I did... like 5 times!  Not a happy time for either of us...

I just couldn't take it anymore.... the fights, drinking..... wait.... I didn't do the fighting.... I didn't say a word.... I just cried and finally got up enough nerve to run away.... 

Oh yes.... The big new motorcycle he bought.... !  A few more Tattoo's he wore! 

But then with me being gone,  our Daughter's ready to wring his neck, our Doctor prescribing him meds, and a psychiatrist helped get us back together.....   And a Church, and me praying my heart out.....

I couldn't have done it without my friends, because I was gone off and on for 7 months, and I could stay with them... 

We DID make it.... the drinking is down to maybe 3 beers a day, instead of a 12 pack....   So it's just us now....  But we were  64 by the time all hell broke loose!  

I can look back on it now, and think it took ME to give it up.... I had to "break" before we could come close to getting back together again.

So good-luck with taming those men of yours gals....  It takes more than a Village...    MY Dad was never tamed....  but Mom hung on for dear life....  and they loved each other no matter what he did.

jramick!  Thanks for posting!    That just makes sense...  Did you ever have the BRCA test?    I think that test is just for one type of cancer?

Smarty!   The pictures are so true....

LittlePaws!  We love Snuggs too!  She is beautiful!  My folks had a little Pekingese one time, named Peanuts... because he loved them so much!   So happy Annie Mae is doing good!  Snuggs and her will become best buds now! 

JWow!  Did I read that right?  Working on Cars?   What? Like rebuilding a transmission or something?  I can't do that.

Morning Littlegoats!  Oh?  I'm at the end of the posts?  Where IS everyone?  Okay.... I'll just fend for myself....xoxoxo

JWow!

Well ladies, I thought maybe I’d get caught up, but this thread moves so fast so I’m just going to jump in!

Tang, I’m glad I’m not the only one! But I will tell a secret here, I’ve become so annoyed by it that I’ve taken action! I guess I am becoming a b**ch! I have his password for his FB and so, when I see a post, I log in and go to his page and make it a private post so that almost no one can see it! Not sure how long before he realizes this, but until he does, oh well! I deal with the consequences if he notices! I just can’t take much more! And you know, I think for me, part of it is the fact that I get told over and over about so many different things that he “doesn’t have time”! Well crap on that, if you have time to run for an hour, then you have time to do some things I ask! Just seems a bit selfish to me! Oh, did I say that I usually ride my bike while he is running, however, I give out way before he does, but even so, I don’t go plastering it all over FB that “hey, guess what? I rode my bike for two miles today and I did it in 10 minutes!” or whatever the time may be! Guess it’s the difference between men and women!

Susan – happy for the good report!

Chevy, I know how you must have felt! However, both of my kids know what’s going on and they are supportive of me, but they do NOT want me to leave! But they just don’t understand how it feels! I have only hit on a little, but it’s really worse, but nothing like you describe, my DH has never been physically abusive, he is just verbally abusive or sometimes he decides to be so self absorbed that I may as well be living by myself! Except for the fact that I have to clean behind him! We do attend church, and yes he goes and that sometimes even makes me more angry because so many around us tell me how lucky I am to have such a “wonderful” DH! They only see what he wants them to see and no one knows what goes on at home! Sometimes when I see things people post about or to him, I just want to yell to the them, wake up people, this man is a jerk! Only his sister knows and thank God I can vent to her!

LittlePaws, I love the pics of your pups!!

Jwoo- working on cars?? Really?? When I was younger, I used to assist when things had to be worked on, but I would never know what to do on my own! I mean, I do check all my fluid levels and I know how to top of the transmission fluid, antifreeze and oil! I know how to check the belt, but could never change it! I used to be able to change a flat tire, but not strong enough anymore! I also was able to change my own oil but decided that it was easier to pay someone and I didn’t really save that much by doing it myself!

I’m sure I have missed quite a bit, I don’t think I read all the way back, you see, I’m one of those that starts at the bottom and goes backwords! I don’t know why! I’ve always done that with everything, books, magazines, newspaper articles! I’m just weird like that!

It’s raining like crazy here today, wish I were home sleeping, but at least I’m well enough to be at work, so I guess I should be thankful for that! Supposed to rain for 4 days! YUCK!

Happy Wednesday!

Okay Nettie....  Most men are not physically abusive.... But I learned in these "classes" I went to,  that abuse is abuse....  Verbal abuse hurts you.... It hurts your heart and soul..... and it just takes all self-confidence, and it hammers you down.  I didn't realize it, until I "came back" and HE finally realized neither one of us had a life without the other.....     And it DID change....

I would never suggest you just haul off, pack your bags and give it all a break......  Everyone is different.... 

My girls knew what was going on!  They grew up with this drinking.... Just like I grew up with my Dad drinking.... and DH had the same life!   But it takes ahold of them, and they  can't break that cycle. 

No, they didn't want me to leave, and THEN they didn't want me to go back until we worked things out! 

His FB account?  You should pretend you are some babe that thinks he "is cool" and see what he says to "her"..... THEN tell him YOU are the cute little chick!

It's so devious, I know.... but oh well!

In 2008 DH fell off the wagon after 12 years of being sober. I got a call from a bar that sits by the lake where he was fishing in his john boat. They said, he tipped his boat in the water, and they fished him out.     That he'd had too much to drink. I told them, "he doesn't drink. Maybe he got too much sun." I was so angry when I went to get him. He was so stinking drunk he couldn't even walk to the car alone.

For the most part he just drinks a beer or 2 when he comes in from work at midnight, but if he drinks 3 or 4 he gets silly. Repeats everything numerous times. Asks the same questions over & over. Jumps to conclusions. Gets loud & obnoxious. He literally becomes everything "He can't stand when he's sober."

I get $850 a month SSDI. There's no way I can make it on my own or I'd leave.

The good thing is.....it never interferes with his work, and he goes to church with me every Sunday.

OY!

Nettie.... it's not off topic.... I mean me and Cammi are not ever worrying about a topic...Ha!  We usually don't know what anyone is talking about, but that's never stopped us! 

I don't know what to tell you, other than if he has ANY kind of a FB account, I don't see any reason for it....  !  I know people "communicate" like this, but when you are past the age of 50, why even bother?  I mean that's just me.... 

I think if they do it "once" I mean get CAUGHT, they will do it again.....   I would threaten the pants off of him....  For some reason, I would not trust them to behave again.  I never had that problem.... but the drinking and meanness was too much to handle.

Soteria.... I can just see you....  !  You should have left him there...Ha!  We just stay away from them, when they have too much to drink!    My Mom could never see her way alone either!   So she stayed.... and Dad went to church with her also!  But after he started drinking, EVERY day, he would not quit until he was drunk.    And he was not nice when he drank!  

You know, my Brother and I were visiting them one time, and of course Dad came wobbling down the sidewalk, hanging on to his best Buddy....  I sad.... 'DAD, COME HERE WITH US FOR A MINUTE!"  He came to their back yard, and my Brother and I sat down with him and told him just how we felt!     Didn't do a damn bit of good.... and Mom felt bad because we called him on it!    So after that, we just left it alone, and those two could do what they wanted.... But we didn't live anywhere near them, so we didn't bother....   It was after Mom passed away, that I got to know my Dad....  but I already talked about that..... 

It's the funniest thing, because like today, I was having lunch with DD#2 and 3 other gal friends, and DH came to see us!  He is so cute when he does that!   He meets his Brother once a month, and it is by Red Robin where I meet the girls....  So he comes just to talk....!   DD loves to see him..... when he is sober....

He hasn't been "drunk" in a few years.... but when he drinks over 3 beers, I just go do my own thing.... and stay away.... because they don't make any sense.

Hi little Cammi..... Yes.... you just have to be quiet.... your DD knows what you are thinking....  just be there for her.....

I know.... we get started on something, and we just have to say what we are thinking..... that's why we are all friends....  Love you guys! xoxoxoxo

wow girls...I have nothing intelligent to say here. No advice to make it seem better. Sorry. Bad relationships can consume us. My hubby and I are married for 33 years. Good ones too !  We have had sooo much to deal with....deaths, illnesses, took is 10 years to have our daughter, and no more after that, and all kinds of other stuff . Luckily for us it made us stronger together. I have known him since 4th grade.   My mom on the other had is quite a handful. Lucky we don't have to live with each other. But it is real hard to have broken relationships. Feel for you guys....

Hope everyone is having the best day they can...pain free, worry free, tip-toeing in the tulips free

what is a chocolate coke  ???  We r almost done adding to our landscaping. Guys just marked all the power lines so we can dig. Prob didn't need them to come out, just putting in shrubs by the fence. Figure it was cheaper to hide fence than replace....ha ha. So pretty shrubbery it will be and an ARBOR!!!  I so love arbors . And I will be able to see it from my screen porch..yeah me. Oh course I will bombard you with pictures when we are done......not going to get anything done this weekend. I am doing the 2 day cancer walk here in chicago this weekend.  But maybe we can get started tomorrow and finish up next weekend.

Chocolate coke..ummmmmmm sound weird

Have a fun vanilla shower Chevy.....or a chocolate coke shower 

yum....sounds good right now, Chevster...I am doing the same thing, putting bark & mulch down. My aching back & shoulders. I might need something stronger tonight.

2ndTime, 

Hugs to you, wish I could be there to take you to the beach & relax & talk, laugh & cry.. 

this one is for you Nettie !!

Thank you all!!! Edited above so I won't scare anyone else....

Glad I could come here for some cheering up.

Off to the dining hall (woo-hoo, no cooking or dishes!)

((2TA)) IOU one IRL!

♥ to all the Owlettes.

Thanks everyone! Nettie, I'm so embarrassed and ashamed, I had to edit.

Badger, will hold you to it!

Now, let's get back to some fun

Maddy, 

PLEASE, do not be neither of those. We are your friends, support group. If you can't be honest with us, then who? 

Thinking of you....we know you are a tough cookie, but you don't have to be here....