Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Hi Northstar, I am 66 diagnosed with ILC and waiting for surgery (not scheduled as yet). At the present time, I feel overwhelmed. Since I also have MS my concerns include fatigue with the surgeries and recuperation. When considering reconstruction, I wonder if it will be worth it physically as well as financially. Another point is that my brother just had a mastectomy and is undergoing chemo. Doe this mean we are carrying the genetic cells or is it just fate. What to expect is weighing on my mind.
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Chevyboy- I have seen several infomercials about lawsuits with a St. Jude pacemaker? Have you seem them?
Diane
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Welcome Marsha. I know there are other women here who have MS and have gone thru treatment, so it's possible. I think we all felt overwhelmed at the beginning. Once you have a treatment plan in place it will feel a little better. If you and/or your brother has children, genetic testing might be a good idea to give them a heads up if there is a genetic link. While men can post on any thread here, there are some specifically for men who are sharing his experience.
I followed the advice of members here and started a notebook with all my BC related tests and treatment info in date order. It was handy and I did refer back to it for information I'd missed on first reading.
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Sure is Blondie. I think this forum gives us permission to vent about something we can all identify with - different stages, grades and treatments sometimes but all for the same reason. This is a disease you have to have to completely understand what it is like have it. It's nice too to have all these conversations that aren't about BC. After all we are still living and the same person pre-BC; we have just been given another cross to bear. Lots of courageous women here just trying to survive BC. Thank goodness for this website.
Diane
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Marsha,
I am sorry that you have to be here and have BC....I remember how very very scared I was and how I cried and cried for days ......I went through Bilateral MX and reconstruction...still have a bit to fix.....I did meet someone on the reconstruction forum that had MS and just so happened we had our exchange surgery the same day and had newly created nipples on the same day.....I will contact her and have her PM you if that is okay with you.
Is you doc going to test for the BRCA 1 & 2 genes since you brother also had BC?
BIG BIG Hugs in this very scary time for you.
Di
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Yep it was me. Agree diane thank goodness for this website. for me it comes down to appreciation, of everything that I have experienced, the people i meet n have met that I am still here. I made the decision a couple of weeks ago to discontinue chemo, not bc of the cancer but bc of the side effects, not knowing wghere this journey will take me now. I decided that quality of life wad more important to me than how long I would b here, so a new journey for me maybe on hormonal therapy, a decision I havent made yet. I love n treasure each n every one of u, even though I don't know exactly what u r about to go through or r going through but I am here to listen n share
Xoxoxo
Sandy aka blondie
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Marsha - sorry you need to join this site, but it will be of benefit and comfort. I'm 64 and chose reconstruction. I have heart issues and have done well. I know I haven't bounced back as quickly as some younger ladies, but I'm coming back. I wish you peace of mind in whatever you choose to do. I don't know about the genetics issue. No one in my family had been diagnosed before me.
Edwards - what about St. Jude pacemakers? That's the kind I have and I haven't heard anything.
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Hi Marsha....I'm also very glad you found us here. I think if you could get the BRCA test done ( very much so if you have children ) it would be of good benefit and would of course, be an excellent indication for any children to be EXTRA cautious. Some insurances might take issue so you would have to check about that part.
I don't know your exact status.....some women just choose to stay B-flat after a mastectomy and not have further surgery. You might want to make a list of questions and really explore many possibilities here for yourself. It is a frightening time but you do HAVE likely a fair number of choices. We didn't have a choice about getting this disease, but if caught early, there are choices about treating it. Just know you are not alone, ever. We will hold you up for as long as it takes.
Blondie -- I'm so sorry to say that for some reason ( I've done this so much lately ) I never read past your entries into the diagnosis/treatment lines. You have probably made just the right choice for you. There is a make--break point with almost everything. I do believe ( just from my own chemo experience ) that after a while it likely just gets into a total sense of fatigue knowing that you will deal with se's from everything that buys you time. You have lots of prayers and positive energies coming from me that whatever you might do will be able to bring you some satisfaction.
Teacher....I think there are always people who will have bad experiences. Goodness knows we hear a lot on this blog because so many people here do in one way or other. Some people ( I'm one of them ) are long past initial diagnosis and txs. But I can't say ( even though knock on wood ,it worked out well ) that it was a walk in the park, and that I didn't have lots of questions or wondered so often if things were going like they should. So, we are all different and our bodies reflect the difference. I did my chemo with people who went to work every day, or to the guy ( just not as energetically ) and seemed to barely notice se's. Just as there are people with problems......I'm sure there are loads of people who did not.
Waiting or a huge rain.....having lots of thunder outside and dark skies --- it will cool us I guess. I hope so.
Will see you all later on then.
Blessings,
Jackie
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Welcome Marsha to a group you never thought you would be joining. You are going through the worst part right now. At the beginning your head is swimming in so many questions and emotions, you are sure you are drowning. The good thing is, we ALL know what you are going through and are here to offer support.
Sorry to hear about your brother. How old is he? Has your doctor suggested BRCA testing for both of you?
I believe there is a thread for women with MS and breast cancer. Have you looked on the All Topics page?
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Blondie,
I am sorry.....but you and ONLY you know how much you can take.....
It sound like you are at peace with your decision
you know we are with you in love and spirit...
Hugs
Di
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I have lots of reading to do to catch up on all the news. But needless to sat Chevy's tomatoes need to be shared. I've been entertaining friends for two weeks prior to a wedding we all attended. These two friends have husbands who love to cook and one loves to clean. But I didn't feel I could be sitting reading my electronics while the cooked and cleaned. It feels good to be back with you all. Night night...
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Hi Alaska,
I have never been to Alaska but everyone that has visited there tells me how beautiful it is. I hope you can get rid of your major item! It is always nice to get rid of something and free up space. I have two days left of rads. I cannot predict what my emotions will be since they have been all over the map when I realized the end was in sight. I was elated and then very sad. I thought I was going crazy and I posted as such on a thread here and was reassured that the let down after treatment is very normal. I have told everyone those fireworks on the 4th are to celebrate me finishing rads! lol I hope I will be in that celebratory mood when the time comes. I am so anxious to go down and see my mom. I saw my RO yesterday for the last time in a few weeks and of course the time she wanted to see me again was going to fall right when I planned on being at my mom's. She said no problem. I love my RO. She has been terrific! Actually my whole radiation team has been wonderful and I will miss seeing them every day. I just hope I will have enough energy to be of some help to my mom while I am down there. I am the one who has cleaned her house usually but I haven't been there since my diagnosis in March.
Hope you have a good Holiday week. Don't beat yourself up. One day at a time! Small steps.
Bandwoman
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Oh Mimi our funny little clown face Mimi--pretend I sang GiGi sounds cuter then.
I have not caught up reading -I don't mean not to post all of a sudden the days go by and i've been o busy with work, I can't believeit.
Marsha welcome but I'm sorry u'r here and to have more illness has to really be difficult for u. /but we are here and all the adies here are really so sweet and we do talk about many things.
Carole I love the way u embrace u'r traveling and enjoy every moment of it and u should, u deserve to.
AA I have to say I really enjoy u here, u let u'r hair down and are so cute and funny.
That's why this thread is so special, we have different thoughts as we get older, even tho our brains stopped at a much earlier age.
OK here's a little tidbit from my life, u know how I'm all screwed up the my taxes like crazy and I've been writing to the President about this and I don't appreciate getting ignored well I did get a huge envelope and it said the Pres. office got involved and they are going over my finances and I have to prove I don't have assets and such. This cracks me up they know more about me than I do--I have one checking account for my 2 deposits and no other acounts lost my hme and car and still don't have one and it's all on record --I have no safey deposit box andno money under anyone else name. I think it's easier to prove what money u have than u have non. And for the time being they will stop what they take out of my money. I know the Pres.'s office said get rid of this crazy woman--so that's the latest and the moral is be a PITA and people just want to get rid of you.
OK I'll try to catch up and talk to all of u, u are all so important.
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Hi Marsha,I am a newbie on here too. It is overwhelming with the shock of the diagnosis and then trying to filter through all of the information. I have fibromyalgia and fatigue is my biggest challenge so I can certainly sympathize with your fears of how you will tolerate the surgery. Your question regarding your brothers cancer and if it is genetic would be something your surgeon could answer for you. You might do a search of others who have MS and ask how they did through their surgeries. The thing is that everyone can respond in their own unique way so it is sometime hard to predict. There is a lot of support here and everyone can relate to your fear of the unknown because I think I can say with certainty that we have all been there before. I am on the other end now and only have two more days of radiation. I look back and can't believe that it all went rather quickly. It is nice to get others experiences and hear what choices they made but in the end you will have to make that choice that feels right to you. You will get through this initial period. I have found that I am much stronger than I ever thought I could be. I hope that you can find that inner strength which will propel you forward. You can do this. Use your cancer team to help you navigate these deep waters. We are here to support each other. Once you make some decisions and have a plan in place that will help. Hang in there.
Bandwoman
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Deep in the soul, below pain, below all the distraction of life,
is a silence vast and grand--an infinite ocean of calm,
which nothing can disturb; nature's own exceeding peace,
which "passes understanding."
That which we seek with passionate longing,
here and there, upward and outward;
we find at last within ourselves.
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Ah, where to begin on this lovely morning. First off, Di, what a beautiful answer you gave Blondie. We are here in love and spirit, calm and peace. We are here for everyone because when there is love, there are no restrictions, no rules -- just caring and loving hearts.
Mimi, so glad you are back. Can you tell we missed our cute little clown. Sounds like you had a pretty enjoyable time though. If we'd have know about your friends Dh's, why I think a whole group of us might have gone with you. My idea of heaven for sure -- a guy who likes to cook and clean...now why didn't I look for one of them.
Cammie, we forgive you for ducking out on us, on occasion. After all, it takes a lot of time or write to a President, huh !!! I'm so glad you are getting ? something ? but think you are oh so right. Nowadays you have to prove everything -- and what are they going to do --- get the FBI to search for our hidden stash. I mean Romney keeps his over in the Cayman Islands along with some other very rich people.....so maybe they have to go there to find your zillions. Still, I do think sometimes you have to just keep after the "powers" that be until THEY really get it. Too many crooks in this world and so many of us that are not HAVE to PROVE we are not.
Bandwoman.....you have it exactly right. We all, in one way or other start this journey in fear. Most of us don't really expect to ever confront such a thing. I've always called it complacency. The thing is......I knew or knew of, very few people who actually had this disease before I got it. Now it seems that I know FEW people who haven't been touched in some way by it. My first reaction was that I was a goner......but in time I did come to realize that whatever is on the plate -- you have to deal with it. At first, it was hard to have hope because I knew so little --- I didn't do a lot of reading but trusted some of my care-givers ( who knew my diagnosis and understood it better than I did ) and knew that I had to do a designed, especially for my circumstances program, and do it with as much hope and faith as I could muster.
Trial by fire.....but like you.......once I got through it all.....I marveled at the strength I had inside me hidden away somewhere and waiting for the time I would need so much of it.
Lastly, I do think our time here on this gracious Earth is wrapped up in developing our soul, testing our mettle, so that many of our hardships do just that. Maybe that is why when we dig deep down we are able to bring up such a great sigh. We have capabilities that are there, but something happens to help us FIND them and use them and become very satisfied that we had it in us all along to do some of the things we thought we never could.
It takes something awful to help us connect or re-connect to some of the finest things that exist anywhere.....the satisfaction of our souls, the knowledge that we took on an obligation thrust on us un-wanted or expected, and did an outstanding job -- despite all fears, discomforts, and illness. Like shining up a penny for the collection plate -- we came through for ourselves and for those around us. We did it. We are so much more than we ever thought, ......we are love.
Blessings
Jackie
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This used to be such a quiet little thread with just a few of us. Now it has blossomed into a discussion with lots of oldies coping with bc and with life. I don't dare stay away too long because it takes me a LONG time to catch up! And I have to catch up because I'm nosy!
Marsha, we all felt the way you're feeling now. Overwhelmed. Frightened. The next stage is learning as much as you can about your health situation and undergoing surgery and/or treatment step by step. Eventually you become more of an expert on bc than you ever wanted to be. We're here for you and want to support you on the journey.
DH and I are settled at Pine Hollow Resort near Park Rapids, MN, in the same rv site we occupied the past two summers in July and Aug. We're having unseasonably cool weather, which we don't mind but the locals probably DON'T like. It was in the 50's this morning and dh turned on the heat in the 5th wheel camper. It's supposed to warm up to 70 and we're planning to go bicycling.
The good news is that Pine Hollow seems to have good internet. I'm using the resort connection and it was too weak to use the past two summers. So it should be easier to check in.
Cami, I hope the President sends Air Force One to take you to the White House for a visit! After he settles your tax issues!
Wishing everyone a good Wed. I "think" it's Wed!
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Hi Jackie,
You have such a beautiful gift of writing. Thank you for your words of encouragement. I have to hurry. I have rads and PT to go to today. Hopefully the last time I will ever have the two together in my liftetime. Only two rads left. Whooohoooooooooooo.
Joan, I think it was you that wrote to me and I stayed up until 1am looking for your post.......................and never found it again. Oh well. I hope you had a great time in Chicago. I can't remember if I told you I am from a western suburb of Chicago. I hope your flight wasn't delayed with the bad storms we had on Monday. You have probably seen more of the City than I believe or not. I will share some of my horror stories of getting robbed etc but for another day. Must run. Have a wonderful day everyone. It is 68 here and I am loving it after the heat and humidity.
Love,
Nancy
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Hi everyone
Carole I'm so glad u'r all settled in and yes this thread moves fast nowadays. Oh today it was only in the 60's and cloudy for the most part, Of course Jackie will say around 80 and sunny all day, but MN weather usually hit us after.
I hope I welcomed anyone new, sometimes I swear I miss posts and don't mean to. I like reading everyone post.
Yes Jackie now I have to write to the Governor again about my state problem, oh I'll never be able to travel anywhere by plane and I'll never get a passport that's for sure.
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Yes I have made peace....this is a recurrence being diagnosed in 1996 and 14 years later it returns iin 2009, started with hormonals for 2 1/2 years and have been doing infusion for almost 2 1/2 years...my body is tired and is giving up on me,sounds like everybody is ok, I would love to have rv and travel that is the problem with this stupid disease, and I am on oxygen 24/7 have to travel with it, and can't walk far need a wheelchair..
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Hi Blondie,We have not officially met. I have read your recent posts and my heart aches for what all you have been through. I pray that the peace you feel with your decision will stay with you and comfort you. My prayers will be with you in the coming days.
Nancy
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Blondie -- you are quite a woman and I admire your judgment and courage. I once again refer to my Mother who chose to be removed from the machine that was forcing her to breathe -- she wanted what was left ( no machines in between us ) to be quality time and so it was.
Only you can truly know what is right for you and we will be right here supporting you.
I too would love to travel but my life just hasn't gone that way. I shelter far too many animals and go out daily to feed others and try in that way to make their life more tolerable then it might otherwise be. In reality I've spoiled them a bit, but at least my conscience rests knowing they get one good meal a day. I can't do much, but I can do that.
Hope you all have a wonderful night.
Blessings,
Jackie
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Thanks for the welcome back, ladies. It's good to know you have carried on the fun in life the best way you know how. Sheltering animals is a huge calling and genuine gift. Proving you have few assets is really hard. I had to do that for my mom and felt like they thought I was covering up the fortune somewhere. When I bought my house I had to get affidavits justifying why I used four different last names: O'Neill, ONeill, O Neill, and Oneill. really? It was all because different computer programs wouldn't accept it and changed it to fit the programm.
Blondie, this is a group of women who will circle around to cheer or comfort..whatever you need or want. Welcome from one who has been off the board a few weeks.
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Blondie we are all here for u and u know what is best for you and u've made u'r decision and I think u know we all respect any decision u make. I'm sorry u have to go thru all of this tho, it just plain sucks.
I hope weatherwise it will be nice for everyone, oh Jackie I'm sure u' weather is totally different than mine, even tho we live in the same state. That always cracks me up.
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Wow Mimi, two weeks with house guests. Were you at your summer house?
Cami, do you mean the Pres of the US ?
Bandwoman, I certainly identify with the fear of the unknown that you mentioned. My fear led to anxiety which led to bouncing high/low blood pressure which led my PCP to suggest mediation. Thankfully, my cancer center had a grant for free meditation counseling which has really helped me.
Jackie, your thoughts are so relevant to me. I find myself sighing with agreement.
Carole, I agree that if Cami has gotten this far with the Pres, she needs to get a ride on Air Force One. It looks so pretty when it lands or takes off from here. Regal would be a better word than pretty. Cami you could really dress up; you know with a hat and heels. Oh, and carry your cat. Joey should go too.
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Bandwoman ... robbed ... yikes!
Jackie, besides the feral cats, are feeding other animals too?
Blondie, you are in my thoughts. I am glad you have found this thread.
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Blondie, I hope you get quality time free of SEs and can be with those you love. Gentle hugs.
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A darling young mother once gave me the idea to tack up these letters
where I will see them— TICDAABGC— and make a list underneath: “Things I Cannot Do Anything About But GodCan.” This reminds me there are always
things we can’t change, but we can get on with our lives and leave those things
to God.
Barbara
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Afternoon....just back from my job. Such a satisfying one too. I stay with a 98 yr. old lady who can do everything but cook. Obviously with her age, it is better if someone is at the house with her as well, but she does do quite good.
We had a lovely breakfast, eggs and toast with some strawberry and orange slices on the side. Also a sm. carton of Greek yogurt. A little coffee as well. I also enjoy my time with her as well at the two little Yorkies that live there too. I always look forward to going.
Sally, I don't "feed" on purpose, any other animals save for the feral cats. I know that birds will come along and get left-over kibble along with some raccoons. My only concern is that I always hope the cats get their fill first and are not intimidated into leaving. Some cats will eat along side the raccoons which I have seen happen, but some will leave so figure they have had a little squabble at some time or other.
It is actually cool here today and no real humidity. Will stay nice ( might need a sweater tomorrow night ) through Saturday night I think.....then all bets might be off. You can just never be too sure around here.
(((((Blondie)))))))
See you all later.
Blessings,
Jackie
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Hi Sally,I am glad you found help with meditation. I started this morning knowing it was my last rad. treatment on the verge of tears. I am not one to cry very often so this is a big deal and quite unusual for me. I was able to compose myself before leaving the house. It ended up to be a wonderful last day. The rad. techs who have been so wonderful gave me a certificate and they all hugged me. I didn't get to see my RO or I probably would have lost it. I saw another one for one last skin check. I will see my RO in a month. The ladies in the waiting room that I had just met a few days ago gave me a hug and congratulated me. I didn't lose it and I felt valued and loved and it doesn't get much better than that. The Lord is good. I came home and got a cappacino and went out to this lake just to have some quiet time and reflection. I am going to be okay. I have so much to be thankful for. I had an awesome cancer team and I have a very good prognosis. I will start on Anastrozole soon. I will be seeing my MO next Friday. I have reservations about that but I know it will all work out somehow.
I will share my story of being robbed when I am feeling more energetic. It is quite the story. So I will leave you hanging until then.....................................LOL sorry.
Have a wonderful Holiday.
Love,
Nancy
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