Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Happy 4th week end...
We were rained out (thanks to rain bands from hurricane Arthur and thunderstorms meeting over NY/Long Island)...so we had a great 5th with a perfect beach day, lots of grandkids visiting, sushi takeout, and spectacular fireworks in our little village. My DD from DC leaves tomorrow, sadly; but we packed a lot of great memories into our 3 days.Bandwoman, Ohio, congratulations on finishing rads. It is an emotional "end" to being connected to the cancer treatment teams. But you will easily adjust to getting back to "normalcy".
Sorry, bandwoman, that you are having those other pain issues.
My time in Chicago was great. My son lives right in the heart of everything. He gave me his metro card which came in handy as I was in Macy's when the really severe storms hit. I met a lovely 'personal shopper' who told me I could get back to my hotel without getting wet! The red line subway stops beneath Macy's and brought me within a half block of my hotel. The storms were pretty intense.
My trip started with a wedding in Carbondale, then lunch with a BCO friend (first time we met) in St. Louis...then Chicago. I walked so much...from the Art Institute all the way to the 900 Michigan Avenue shops. We ate out every night and just had a nice time. We never got to a White Sox game due to the rainout.
So, now, tell us about getting robbed....now that I'm safely back from my trip!Sandy, I hope you get a good progress report about the diverticulitis. Just hearing that you are healing may help encourage you...you deserve to feel good so you can enjoy your family.
In your pocket...sending positive thoughts!Will catch up more on Monday after my family heads home...it will be too quiet and it will also be the first day of my summer "off time" that I don't have plans. I am really looking forward to it.
Hugs all around!
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The task is to recognize that you are uniquely special, have something to give, some talent no one else shares in quite the same way. This gift needs to blossom so we can appreciate and enjoy the benefits of it and acknowledge you for it. You owe this to yourself and to all of us to honor your gifts, for only when you share your unique joy with the world does the entire world benefit. Every advance humankind has known has come because of someone's effort. Don't let shyness rob you and the world of the power and the passion that lies within you. No one can be all that you will be except you yourself. Follow your passion.
Joel Garfinkle0 -
Here's to days with no 'real' plans. I love those sorts of days where you fulfill any little whim that happens to move you. You sound like you are really having a wonderful time Joan. That is a good thing. We are here ( in life )for so many things but I know that a whole lot of that is meant to be the things that are joyous. We are here to learn how to best the hurdles that come but also to find the quiet of peace and harmony -- inside as well as outside.
Quiet and still cool here. Don't know how long the " cool " will last so I'm trying to savor every minute. I worked last night which was fine with me --- what I do is filled with much more pleasure than actual labor. Also, the paycheck tends to be an inspiration as well.
Sounds like some rain could come. We have sure had a lot of that this yr. so far. I don't mind like I once did....though hope it holds off till I get to town and feed my ferals. Watching birds ( the cats out of doors haven't discovered them ) jump into the bed of Dh's truck and get kitty kibble. We have two cats that go outdoors in the morning and hey love to get a sample of the feral cat food which is different from theirs'. What I feed here is pricier than I'd like.....but does not have dyes and fillers. I use Purina for the feral cats -- they seem to be tougher than the house cats are though the Purina has little for dye either.
It is going to be a good day for just moderate efforts I think -- a little tired so I'm not going to go all out. Hope you are all planning to have a good day.
Hugs to all ((((((Blondie/Sandy))))))))
Blessings
Jackie
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Bandwoman, I SO relate to your bewilderment that you got bc after making every effort to live a healthy lifestyle. So did I. I always was physically active with sports and exercise and house and yard work. I kept my weight down and tried to make healthy food choices. I went to a genealogist and was tested for the mutated bc gene when my aunt and two of her daughters all developed bc and tested positive for the BRCA. I tested negative. My factors were (1) no children (2) consumption of alcohol regularly.
Something switched on the bc gene. There's a very interesting field of medical science now that is studying this issue of switches on genes and what caused the genes to activate. I read about the science field but can't cough up the name right now.
DH is from a suburb of Chicago, too. Oak Forest, which is southwest of the city. His parents' house was in walking distance of a train station where commuters could take the train to the city. Like all big cities, Chicago has its crime and dangers, but it's an interesting city to visit. I love walking on Michigan Ave. I definitely look like a tourist gazing up at the tall buildings on either side. Of course, the city has marvelous restaurants. I haven't eaten at very many of them but I know they're there. And the city has all the ethnic foods. I have eaten in an authentic Chinese restaurant one year.
Thanks for all the good wishes. We don't actually camp. We live in a large 5th wheel rv that has most of the house conveniences. We don't have a dishwasher but it's not all that much trouble to hand wash our dishes after our meals. We have a washer/dryer hookup but dh uses that closet for his clothes. We prefer to gather up the laundry and go to a modern Laundromat every couple of weeks.
Today people are starting to vacate the campground. Even Barry, the handyman, is going home because their little boy, Kyle, has swimming lessons. Much of the summer, Barry and Kyle, stay when the wife/mother goes home to go back to work. So this week we'll have the whole place to ourselves. We'll renew our fishing licenses and go fishing when the lake is calm but the fish are pretty safe! We're not good fishermen. The resort owner lets us use a battered old pontoon boat as long as we provide the gas. We also have use of a nice canoe and some plastic kayaks.
Wishing everyone a good Sunday.
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It seems to me (but what do I know) that this whole cancer thing is a bit of a crapshoot. My mother, grandmother (maternal), and aunt (maternal) had BC. My dad had prostate cancer. I didn't have the BRCA gene, but still got cancer. My sister (thus far) has not - she's older than I. She's completely certain it's because she exercises daily (so did I) and doesn't drink (I do like wine). I think that we are exposed to so many carcinogens in so many ways - many of which we don't even know are carcinogens - or at least probably didn't when we were exposed. I worked in a very high stress job, and was around large amounts of electricity every day. Did that do it? I don't know. When it comes right down to it, maybe it's just the luck of the draw. Or maybe some people are more sensitive than others to some things, or maybe people who have bad allergies already have such a load on their immune system that it can't keep up. Or maybe a thousand million other things. My take is that I try to eat healthy, try to exercise, try to keep calm, try to be kind to people (sometimes that piece is really difficult!) and try to enjoy my life, because one of these days it's going to be over, no matter what.
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Well said, GG. I've never seen you on this thread before! Welcome!
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I just found it. Thank-you.
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I think BC may be related to the pesticides we've used. The stuff when we were young was really strong and mostly banned now. That might account for some of the increase. I agree that enjoying what is now is the best approach.
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I wouldn't doubt the pesticide relationship - plastic is, of course, another culprit, as well as the hormones in our meat and dairy. Another culprit IMHO may be some of the things they put in other kinds of food in an effort to make us healthier. Folic acid in enriched flour for example. They are now finding a correlation between an excess (over 400 mg/day) of folic acid and colon cancer. Humans have a desire to constantly tweak things to make them "better" - but better isn't always really better.
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Okay Joan--- Here goes the story on being robbed now that you are home. When I was working I was a band director in the schools. My dream was to play professionally. I am a clarinet player. I was part of a woodwind quintet and I decided to go after my dreams and I quit my teaching job. I supported myself by teaching privately and then hopefully making some money with some playing gigs with our quintet. Our very first wedding job was on the outskirts of Chicago. I was a passenger and one of the members of my quintet was driving. I might add that her husband's band was playing the reception that night and we had all of the big equipment in the back of the car. This took place in 1980 give or take a year. We got off an exit ramp and ended up being in an enclosed T in the road. There was a man that walked slowly in front of our car. We were at a red light. I had my big black clarinet case on my lap with a fancy white purse on top. I remember saying to my friend I am not going to look at this guy. The next thing I know there was a big crash and I was covered with glass and my friend screamed and floored it around the corner. I think the tires were squealing. My first reaction was to cover my head and slouch down. She thought I had been shot. As this first guy had walked in front of the car there was another guy walking around the back of the car probably with a baseball bat or something that broke the car window. He stole my purse and I didn't see any of that but my friend did. My purse had my clarinet reeds in it. I really did think we were going to die. My friend didn't want her friends' wedding to be disrupted so they didn't know any of this happened. My friends found a music shop and got me some clarinet reeds and we played the wedding. We then called the Chicago Police. I had my car keys and my apt keys in that purse. The police said they usually come back and rob the house if they know your address which of course they did. I had to have a locksmith get into my car once I got home and also had them change the locks on my apt. The police called me a few days later and said we got the gang that robbed you. They apparently had done this same little trick over and over again. They wanted me to come downtown to a lineup but I told them I didn't really look at the guy for only a second and I would not be much help. It was a very unnerving because I was on pins and needles for days at my apt. thinking they were going to show up. They had all my credit cards, ss # and everything. I had only a very small amount of money in that purse and I was afraid they would come back and rob me because they were so ticked off they didn't get much money. They could have gotten a ton of money from all the equipment in the back of the car but they didn't touch that. It was such frightening experience when I would see a guy on a corner if I was driving I would tense up. It totally disrupted my life having to replace credit cards and drivers license etc. In those days the thieves just wanted money. We didn't hear of identity theft like we do now. So that is my story. I had another scary experience which I will save for another day.
So that is partly why I don't go to the city much. As I said before you have probably seen more of it than I have. LOL
Sorry this got so long winded. So there you have it. My mom used to always tell me I should write a book I have had some unique experiences but I am sure all of you have stories to tell also.
I am glad you had a good time in Chicago and are safely home!
Nancy
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GG -- a rousing welcome. I have been here almost since we emerged from the caves. I think you have great insights and thoughts about why we get cancer. I'm sort of stuck in the WHY we get lots and lots of things. Listening to nutritionists...I would say enriched anything could be a problem as I think putting something back in to make it healthy means it was likely destroyed in some way beforehand. The things they do to give something a "shelf" life which can be veeeery long.
Though I'd never want to go back there.....there was a time when things had to be used up pretty quickly. No refrigerators or canning jars then. Food that lasts for months and months ( especially shelf items ) I've all but stopped even bringing home. If the ingredient list has more than 5 things.....I'm already worrying about it. Then again....it is not to prevent something like cancer -- though it might. It is to prevent hopefully eating too many things that are extremely iffy on any nutritional value.
Glad you found us and hope you will come often. We are fairly quiet here but have formed a lot of friendships full of respect.
Blessings
Jackie
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Ah Nancy.....the story. Now I feel like I have led a sheltered life. I haven't really so guess I'd just have to say though I have had a lot of "experiences" -- I don't think I came close to anything like what you have related. Maybe I looked too poor to bother with or something.
Sure glad no one seriously got hurt and you are so right.....whatever it was ( I've no idea myself ) that we worried about in the 80's and I'm sure it was something very dire.....no one then I'm sure was sitting and thinking...well, you know what -- anyone one thinks this is bad wait until identity theft comes along. Makes you wonder -- what's next when everyone has Life Lock or something like it.
Blessings
Jackie
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Hi Carol and others,
When I first got my cancer diagnosis over the phone it was like a cruel joke. I spend a ridiculous amount of money on organic foods and alternative medicine to do things good for my body. I even had a few days of what the heck. I will just eat whatever and whenever since I already have cancer and obviously what I was doing didn't help. Of course that was just a knee jerk reaction and I quickly came to my senses. I have had so many people tell me that I look really good and that I don't look sick at all. I didn't feel sick until the treatments started. Anyway my point is that maybe if I hadn't juiced all those years and hadn't consumed all of my fruit and veggie smoothies I make everyday maybe I would have been much sicker. Hopefully my immune system was strong and helped more than I will ever know. Someone here said that what matters is how we live each day now. Making ourselves go crazy trying to figure out the why of it all just robs the joy and peace that we can have this day.
I do not have children either and someone said that is a risk factor right there. I have been single all my life and extremely independent. This disease has brought me to my knees in that area of independence. I had to rely on others and still do now. That has been a humbling experience but a wonderful one as well. We cannot live without relationships and bonds with other people. That is what is so great about this forum. I am usually a fiercely private person but it has been very therapeutic for me to post. I hope I am not boring you all to death with them. Thank you for indulging me.
Nancy
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Nancy -- you are anything but boring. In fact, I would venture to say you are very much like the majority of us....learning as you go and actually making great discoveries along the way....about yourself and others. It's a big, wide wonderful world and we get to enjoy it together.
Blessings
Jackie
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nancy your experience sounds terrifying. Around '85 I had something similar but different happen to me. I was on the phone just outside the grocery store talking to my boyfriend (now my hubby). The next thing I knew someone had grabbed me by the neck and thrown me on the ground. My purse was gone. BF heard me scream and then gone. He called 911 as did I as soon as I stood up! The scariest part was that he (the attacker) dropped a huge knife apparently when he grabbed me. So glad he didn't decide to use it!!
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Well, GG.....I just let out my breath. For the second time today. Glad the clumsy oaf dropped that knife.
Jackie
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me too!! You'd think that would have taught me to be more aware of my surroundings, but I'm still a dunce.
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Jackie,
Believe me I was poor at that time trying to make a living as a starving musician. LOL I think I only had a $5 bill in my purse. Money stretched farther in those days. And of course we walked three miles to school in two feet of snow too. LOL I was afraid the robbers would be so ticked off realizing they did all that for $5 that who knows what they might do.0 -
Garden,Your story sounds more terrifying than mine. I guess we were both very fortunate that we escaped without any physical harm. I have a feeling there are probably many stories on BCO that would surface given the chance to share. Just two years ago I was down at my mom's for several weeks. My sister and I are caregivers for her. She lives three hours from where I live but my sister lives in her same town. I would go down to relieve my sister and stay for a few weeks at a time. Haven't been able to do that since my diagnosis in March. Anyway it was Memorial Day night. I was in bed and my cat always comes with me. She was laying on this table by my bed. She lets me know when she wants to look out the window. I saw her on the table and I tried to reach for the shades and it got away from me and ended up at the top of the window. I was too tired to get up and pull it back down. Anyway It was maybe 4:30 or so in the morning and I heard my cat hissing at the window. She did this about three times. She only hisses when she feels threatened. I got up out of bed thinking maybe a feral cat was on the ground. This by the way is a first floor bedroom facing a street. When I looked out the window someone was by the window looking in. YIKES He (I am guessing) ran out of the bushes and there was a truck parked in front of the house and he ran into the truck and took off. I was shaking I was so scared. My mom has dementia and still lives alone. I didn't want to scare her by calling the police but later regreted that decision. I called the police later that day. I realized I needed my mom to be careful and on the lookout.
So Cammie my cat was certainly a hero in my eyes. She is now my guard cat. LOL
Nancy
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She is an intuitive guard cat . I wonder if she realized that the man ran away because YOU became aware of him.....no matter. She did not cower, but faced him head on. Thank goodness you woke up. The Universe and cats are wonderful things. Good thing too.....sometimes we really, really need the protection.
Blessings
Jackie
forgot to say -- Cammie is a very pretty girl.0 -
Scary robber stories ... glad you all ended up okay ... that includes the beautiful cat.
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Yes, Jackie she is smart as a whip too. She is not docile like the typical Ragdoll breed. She has a lot of personality but when she doesn't get her way she can get aggressive. When she was a kitten she was a little hellion on wheels. She tore wallpaper off the wall in three of my rooms. Just little places and a couple are hidden by furniture. I tell people what she lacks in good behavior she makes up for in good looks. LOL Have a wonderful week.
Nancy
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Thanks Sally. You can bet when I am at my mom's now that shade stays closed at night no matter what Cammie wants to do as far as looking at the window in the middle of the night!
Have a great week!
Nancy
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Nancy, that was a terrifying attack that you endured. I am glad your driver was able to function and get away. Are we ever really safe? I live in a small town where people don't lock their doors. Just a few miles up the road, infamous serial killer Joel Rifkin dumped one of his last victims. I try not to think about it but there are great courses in self defense for women. I walk alone at night to my car; I often walk in to my house at night when it's just me...but I can't live in fear.
Carole, enjoy the quiet as the weekenders leave. The lake and boat sound so peaceful.
In one of the courses I teach, we discuss the latest research on gene "switches". As far as I know, it is being studied by molecular biologists and is called "epigenetics'. Studies of simple bacteria show gene "switching" occurs due to environmental conditions. When a substance (i.e. DNA protein) is ingested in excess by the bacteria, the gene that produces that substance switches off. This makes sense because certain substances are harmless to ingest but become toxic in high amounts. It is an exciting science. The cause of most cancer is probably a composite of environmental factors. There are "direct hit" mutations from a single or continuous exposure to harmful conditions.Will we know? probably not. But we all thought about it when we were diagnosed.
Good night, owls!
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Morning gals! I'm so sorry some of you, like you Blondie are NOT feeling good.................. wish we all could do something to help...
I used to love to go to my GS's meets too! Especially their Hockey games, and then Golf! I miss it NOW, but it was wonderful when they were little guys!
All grown up now.... 25 & 28! We'll go visit them the last of September, around our Anniversary. ... the 57th! And We were married in 1957!
Must mean SOMEthing, but I love adding on those years.... Ha!
I've ordered a new tower also! A Dell, to go with my 23" Dell Monitor I have been using! I think it was about 12 years ago... that I bought THIS one... It came with Vista, so I am hoping the Windows 8 will be as easy to get used to as this one was...
I've transferred.... I mean copied a few programs, like Picassa, iTunes to a flash-drive, so I can just plug THAT in, instead of downloading all of that onto my new computer...
Jackie, I loved your post... We ARE all special in our own way, and no two of us are alike, or are going through the same things...
When we gals "talk" maybe it will help some of you that are REALLY going through a rough time...
Maybe just to read something encouraging... just something to get our mind off of "it" for a few minutes.
I'm pretty sure that we have all been to that breaking point.... where we just drop down on our knees and sob into the blankets... But we got up. We tried moving on.... like walking in our sleep... and somehow we got through it....!
Our friends, family, and even a prayer, will sometimes give us a little more strength...
It just really tears us down though, when we can't find a light at the end of that tunnel.... If we can just think that all of us are at that other end, waiting there for you, and then jumping up and down yelling and clapping when we see YOU!
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"The most sacred place dwells within our heart, where dreams are born and secrets sleep, a mystical refuge of darkness and light, fear and conquest, adventure and discovery, challenge and transformation. Our heart speaks for our soul every moment while we are alive." ~ Ritu Ghatourey0
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Well Chevy, my dear, dear friend. Talk about a wonderful and deeply touching post. I love the idea of those who may be slightly ahead and waiting at the end of the tunnel, cheering and clapping and I'm sure giving so much heartfelt inspiration that just the thread of love that is emanating will get everyone where they need to be.
So much can be meaningless if we are not caring for and about each other. Probably a good time to say that we don't have to do unusual things either. Just a little silent prayer or thought of love and hope for guidance for all. Hoping that we can be in touch with the best parts of ourselves so we can be of value to others.....sharing courage and love and the will to overcome obstacles.
As I've felt for such a long time that the rocks in our path are the very things that test us and help us formulate how to survive and grow stronger, it is hard to wish them banished, yet we do get weary. So having so many friends to count on just makes me grateful that when the rain comes.....we can find a friend willing to wade through the puddles with us.
Joan, the course and your study and conversation on genes and their behaviors sounds so interesting and deep I might add. Last thing I heard ( sometimes you tend to quit looking so often ) there seemed to be the thought that there was a viral aspect to all of it. In that inflammations that are long-standing in the body are deemed harmful, so I guess perhaps that aspect is possibly a part of it all. For some reason I've felt that when we finally 'break' it down......we will have found that it is something fairly simple but obviously well hidden within that simplicity.
Heat and humidity back with a vengeance this morning. Well, we have been expecting this per our weather reports. Some busy days coming up but that is all right. I think hopefully the nights will be cool and we will just have to wait for dark to enjoy the outdoors. All in all, due to the amt. of cloudy, or rainy days, I can't say the summer ( though a bit unusual ) has been bad. We are into the hotter months though -- July and August are the sweltering ones for the most part....then Sept. puts us back into something a bit more tolerable. Seems so far that the time is passing fairly fast. Way too soon we will have to start the Fall work of cleaning the yard for winter. Erg . Ick. Blech, and a few others if I could think of them now.
Hope you have a marvelous Monday. See you all a little later.
Blessings
Jackie
p.s. Good to see you here again Chevy.....now if we can find Cammie.
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Ah Jackie, don't say "rocks in your path!" Now you KNOW what happens when I see a rock in my path.... Well actually I don't even look at it.... I, instead will find some weay to stumble over it, and fall and break bones.
SoYes, it tested me.... It sure showed ME.....Ha!
And yes.... I am having a lot of patience with that PITA neighbor of mine... But she is just lonely, and scared. She is 90, and since her DH is in a home, she knows it is just a matter of time, that SHE might wind up there also.... OR with her DS & DIL, and I think that would be worse....
Her DH is doing GREAT! He is 92, and getting more attention than he EVER had at home! So a few days a week, I'll just go spend some time with her.... and make her laugh.... ! I took a picnic up there last week, and we both enjoyed that.
It was her SON that drove by us in the alley in back of his Mom's house, when I had just fallen, and couldn't get up! It was HE who had the wheel-chair, and could wheel me back home, and into my car, so I could get to the ER!
So maybe I gotta learn that somehow, I am helping HIM, like he helped ME! That when she calls me saying she is just afraid, and thinks she will pass out, that maybe she thinks I am HER guardian angel.... and maybe it's time I help HER!
So I'll run up there.... to check on her, when she calls... Her DS lives about 30 miles away.... and I only live about 6 houses away....
Funny, how I just saw your post, and then really THOUGHT about me complaining about her ALWAYS calling ME instead of her Son.... I just gotta have patience. He was there, (somehow) when I was down in the alley and couldn't move! DH just STOOD there, trying to help me up... and along came Steve.... That must mean SOMEthing.
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hi everyone
Nancy & GG- glad to hear your terrifying episodes left you with no physical injuries. I grew up in an apartment in the Bronx, and we, too, left our doors unlocked, and even wide open in the summers. The only bad thing that ever happened was once when my mother took the laundry up to the roof to hang to dry, someone stole all of our bed sheets- nothing else, just the sheets. Since we had six beds, it was a major expense to replace them all at once. After that, my dad figured out how to put a clothesline from our dining room window to my brothers bedroom window. We lived on the fourth floor, so I never figured out how he did it, but it worked.
As far as why some of us get BC and others don't, I have no idea. I agree it could very well be because of the additives to foods and pesticides, etc. but several of you have said that you have always been aware of your eating and have had healthy diets for years and also steady exercise regimens. I have to admit that I have done neither. I ate 3 meals a day, and they were reasonably well balanced, but never had time to study organic vs supermarket, and with feeding 7 of us, couldn't have afforded the healthier versions anyway. Yet, my sister, whose diet would astound you- I could list the foods she eats on one hand (and have a finger or two left over) and who has chain smoked for 50 years, seems reasonably healthy. She has lost most of her teeth, and has that awful smokers cough, but moves on, day to day without any major issues. Don't get me wrong, I love my sister dearly and would never wish this or anything else on her, it just confuses me. I have never questioned the "why" of it - I just accepted it and did what needed to be done. I chose to focus on what was ahead, not what I could've or should've done to prevent it. I had cancer on my mom's side of the family, but not BC so I went on like most, thinking it would never happen to me. Now I know better.
Hope you all have a great Mon
Anne
PS Welcome Garden Gumby- you've joined a great group here.
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