Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Cammi, I found your story very interesting.  And it was told so well.  You have your own "style" of writing that suits you perfectly.  Yes, I would like to hear more, too, when you're in the mood to reminisce.

Chevy, what a sad story about your neighbor's son.  He went through such a struggle to live.  Heart transplant, cancer.  And yet he enjoyed life.  I'm glad of that. 

Mommarch, I think I would love being on a grand jury.  I rarely get picked for any kind of jury.  Former teacher.  Writer.  Don't pick her!  She has too much imagination!  She might empathize with the person on trial.  Glad to hear you're getting some rain in the Davis Mts.  Such a beautiful area of the country. 

Jackie, I'm not sure I embrace the idea of the old soul but I rather like thinking about it.  So much in life is a mystery to me.  But then I don't really know why the light comes on when I flip a light switch!  I don't know so much more than I know. 

It was fun to get out today and play a round of golf on a pretty little course with nice views in every direction.  The temperature was pleasantly cool and I worked on using my irons.  I'm determined to improve that part of my game.  Where are you, Rita, my fellow golfer?

Great story about your background, Chevy.  I can visualize you being scrubbed by your grandma! 

Edwards, you are very welcome.  You don't have to thank me for anything really --- mainly all I care about is if in some way I can help someone lighten their steps abit, find a small smile, or encourage them in some way to enjoy themselves.  I try to remember -- it never has to be anything big....the things I treasure most are the times someone has smiled at me, not judged me when I was sure they would, or reached out a helping hand when they realized I was struggling in some way.  It has made life for me such a treasure.....and a daily one.  What I feel I have myself is what I hope everyone has or can soon have. 

Paula, great to find a "kindred" spirit.  Here is something interesting.....( old soul type ) but when I was a really young girl.....I felt sooo old.  I felt almost weighted down with age.  AS I piled on year after year, I actually realized that I was feeling younger.  ???Why???  Well, I do have a bit of a theory.  I think "old" souls when they come back know ( we do sometimes carry over some knowledge into our next life ) some things.  Whatever the reason -- having to do with my development this time, I realized that I was quite old.  Then later as I was able to study, ask questions, formulate ideas, and find some logical order, I felt much younger.  That is when I really accepted all I felt and a lot of what I learned from studying spirituality. 

Carole, some people are okay with spirituality, old souls, and things like that and others just can't do it.  Some think it a bit on the spooky side.  I, myself likely had moments when I wasn't really sure, and hoped I wasn't losing it.  It just became highly important to me to FIND out.....why me.  Why am I here, and why am I having the kind of life I am -- which you have probably figured wasn't always a great life -- there were times of so much questioning.  Just meaning that I was very open and ready and totally willing to take whatever information might come.  So, it seemed like every book I picked up gave me the information that not only started answering all the questions I ever had ( the same books by the way might not help anyone else at all ) but helped me so much to solidify  MY own personal TRUTH.  I felt I absolutely had to find MY truth if I was to go on.......and so, maybe whomever in the Universe is charged with making special dreams come true.......put the right materials in my hands and here I am. 

Each person here, or anywhere for that matter, has a life story ( actually old souls would have many of them )  and most of the time,  ( I sure can ) you can look back and see how it is all interwoven, along with the people who were your parents, brothers and sisters, cousins, etc.  Along with all the incidents of a life-time so far.  You are you....because each person in your life, including yourself, was a huge part of the weaving of your life up to now.  Whomever else was in your family could look back and see how your having been a part of them, helped the creation they are now. 

THE MASTER WEAVER

My life is but a weaving
Between the Lord and me;
I may not choose the colors–
He knows what they should be.

For He can view the pattern
Upon the upper side
While I can see it only
On this, the under side.

Sometimes He weaves in sorrow,
Which seems so strange to me;
But I will trust His judgment
And work on faithfully.

‘Tis He who fills the shuttle,
And He knows what is best;
So I shall weave in earnest,
And leave to Him the rest.

Not ’til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Shall God unroll the canvas
And explain the reason why.

The dark threads are as needed
In the Weaver’s skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned.

-Author Unknown

We have always been for each other and all of life, every living thing has the spark of life inside and hopefully, most can look back and see something  and I hope it is good.  As for me.....I'm just trying to weave in earnest, do the best I can everyday.....try not to cause undue distress to anyone, including myself, and make my days count for something.  Sometimes, now and then, I fail, but I'm not giving up.  I'm going to just try harder the next time to make it go right.  I really believe every one here is doing that too.........and that is why I love coming here so much. 

Blessings to all the other weavers,

Jackie

I always know our group will have an interesting read for me at bedtime.  And how quickly the tone can move from kidding to support.  The childhood stories are so different, but with common threads.  Wow what it must have been like to have a florist for a dad with passion and imagination for his work.  My dad was an accountant which was quite boring to a child, and he deserted us all when I was 13.  Bigomy is no laughing matter.  Although I can regale a crowd for hours with stories about his behavior now.  

I think I would like the grand jury, too.  We need smart sensitive logical people on juries.  Thank you for not trying too hard to Avoid it.  But I'd desperate just tell them you would never vote (insert any political party here) and the will drop you like a hot potato.

It was too cool to swim here today.  My flowers look good, alas no tomato plants.  But we had wonderful sweet corn and cantaloupe with supper.  The two year old wanted balloons lover and over.  So now we have a huge box filled with inflated hearts.  Wish I could send each of you one.  Good night.

Chevy we all know u care about her or u wouldn't worry. U r a kind person that's for sure. I still hang around with Presb., Lutherans, Episc., Agnostic and atheist and I respect all of their beliefs. My dad was an atheist but I know he had his beliefs, it was the universe with nature and he respected that extremely. And when my brothers got to the age where their careers were starting, he told them never be dishonest, never think of u'rself first, and give with u'r heart. And they always seemed to be and they were rewarded and my Dad and mom got to see that--so he had his beliefs tho my mom was Catholic and went every Sunday plus did other things with the church and my dad respected her beliefs. When my dad went blind he never complained and would say this is the way it's supposed to be, and just seemed to understand it--of course my mom would always (she always did) change the furniture around and he'd be all over the place falling and such and she'd say oh he'll get used to it. And he never got mad, I would get mad. Oh chit there I go again. I come here and can't help myself hahaha

OK I have to open up my work stuff,

Mimi u seem like u grew up and wise even without u'r dad, u care and give---that's wonderful

You may not control all of the events that happen to you but you can decide not to be reduced by them.

  Maya Angelou 

Today ( I get quotes from several newsletters I subscribe too ) the above quote was there.  Some people  ( like all of you and Ms. Angelou as well ) grow strong by their prior life events, meaning the ones from childhood, and you go on to become wonderful, forgiving, well-rounded adults who can be trusted with the hearts of others. 

Others are not so fortunate as we.  Many of their early childhood events just seem to send them down a path of no return. 

All told, we can learn from the negative events and turn them into something positive for ourselves and that is so very much of the purpose.  GROWING our soul and capabilities through all the stumbling blocks in our path.   What always indicated to me......you learn so much faster by the negative things....oh do you learn fast.  The positive things are not given much attention as their is no pressure for the most part -- so you just go, ok...wonderful.  What's next !!!! But the roadblock where you have to figure a way to get around it without any further hurt to yourself, and certainly with as little as possible to anyone else -- now that is a challenge and will leave you able to feel the progress and later, after a good deal of life has taken place.....you can look back and see the steps you took.......and why you needed the life events that happened to get those steps completed. 

All of life is a challenge..........just never forget that we are most definitely meant to not only have huge insight ( epiphanies ) along the way, but times of joy and great satisfaction.....even over small things --- like the perfect day Chevy had with her daughter watching an old movie together.

We don't always know when the joy will come.  But if you are "looking" for it, it may not be there.  It is when we get rid of all expectations and conditions and just lose our self in time --- when we are one with everything.  We may not know it but we have arrived ( without knowing it was going to happen ) at a time and place in the Universe where there is perfect peace and tranquility.....it is the peace that passes all understanding.  I know we all wish it could happen everyday....but if you look back to those perfect times -- if you had too many, they too would be commonplace and  not mean what they do now.  We are here to learn and grow....too much of that perfection, and  we would lose the growth.....our very reason for being here at all.

Oh well, big mouth needs to shut up.  Otherwise...what a pretty day outside.  We are still on the cooler side today....but will start inching back to not so good.....and more rain somewhere in the week-end or first of next week.  Feel sorry the Californians.  They have such drought conditions going on and water rationing etc.  The east coast along with some of the southern portions of the states along the eastern seaboard are getting soooo much water.  Floods etc.  Climate change is being so hard for so many.

Saying hi to all and running along to do errands and other chores and will be back later as I almost always am.

See you all then.

Blessings

Jackie

Oh you guys..... Carole gets on a BIKE!  Dang girl!  I am impressed!  I had one about 15 years ago, but it was a boys bike that I bought for $20 from a yard sale, and I was for SURE thinking I would seriously MAIM myself trying to stop the bike, not to mention getting off any sort of normal way!  And I lowered the seat all the way, but I could NOT touch the ground with both feet at the same time....

Plus, I was glad it only had one speed.... I tried, but bike -riding was just not the thing for me.... neither is pole-dancing, not to mention even WALKing, but that's another story.

I'll just drive my stick-shift....  it's just hard to HEAR the motor running, so letting out the clutch, is problematic, I'll say, with a grin on my face!  I'm either gunning the motor, or shattering the clutch..... Ha!  As soon as DH gets it into his head that an AUTOMATIC is best for me, we will DO that.  

It all started with my hip, and trying to get that leg on the clutch....  BUT, he has quit hollering everytime the clutch shakes.....   I SWEAR, one more time, and I'll go myself to look at another used car..... AN AUTOMATIC!!!!!

Mommarch I know this sounds crazy a little one seems to know things we don't sometimes. When my DGS was about that age we were talking in his bedroom and my DD was busy so she was kind of passing the door every so often, And all of a sudden he looks at me and say I remember when u were a little girl, and I started to laugh and sid how could u? Now my DD heard this and stood by the door and he said I think I was u'r grandpa and I thought well I never met either one , then he said wait no I think I was u'r uncle and never seeing a pic of me when I was little described how my mom did my hair. About a yr later he didn't remember saying that or that he knew me. It always made me wonder how he could know what he did. And he really acts like an old soul, everyone says that about him---Kind of spooky actually. Sorry u know I go on and on about my minutia of life.

As to mommarch and Cammie....I couldn't have said it better myself.  Little souls ( though old , no matter their size ) remember for a brief time after they come back here.  There is so much to re-experience though soon....all drifts away.  Since we have all been around forever, when we are not as yet come back....we have so much knowledge ---  but coming back is meant to be a challenge for us.....so most of those "other place/existence" memories can't and won't stay with us.  That way, we really learn and grow here.  We are not random, but MEANT to be here for not ours, but our souls' purpose. 

What a lovely day today is.  I will see you all later.  Long day for me, but it should be great.

Blessings

Jackie

Wren....that is interesting.  Babies are remarkable, as are toddlers when they are not given too many no signals.  In a world where some things still are not completely acceptable, some get nervous about things that the little ones say that they feel are impossible.  We don't accept a lot because a lot of people were taught to be un-easy about a lot of it.  Psychics  are frowned upon most of the time......and they don't always get things right which makes things worse. 

I just think about the people who can do amazing things at very young ages ( they had such love for something all of their memories could not be wiped out )  like little children that play Mozart.  Or one of my cousins who graduated St. Louis University at 16.  There have been many who graduated schools at very young ages.  The parents ( as in my cousin's case ) were VERY average as was the majority of the family.  I do think there will come a time when we will "encourage" these things, but it will be another two or three generations probably. 

Blessings,

Jackie

Wren44, I like that!

DD called and said my 15 month old GS was babbling and then said "bye bye" and waved.  DD asked who he was talking to and he said "Papa."  That is what DD called my dad.  Hm.....

So many horrible things are happening in the world today.  Scary, Chevy!

Couldn't resist:

Chevy I rarely wath the news I can't stand any of it, killing for no reson, just horrendous events going on everywhere, I know we can not hide all the time, but I try, it's heartbreaking. One thing as horrendous as the 2nd world war was--the US knew the enemies, now u can be walking down the street and there's one and u'd never know it. It's scary---It's strange K a story.

When I worked at the DMV I didn't work on the side of DL, I worked titles and reg. so we didn't really pay much ttention to the other side. Well the Manager on that side worked at the corner of the counter and he didn't want anyone to work next to him--so no one did, but in the corner mybe once a week u'd see this man waiting who brought people in, maybe 3 or 4 at a time and he wore robes and very dark skinned and a beard. Well the manafer was selling licenses for 500.00 each to these people without any papers and made up info, Well the FBI put in a camera in his office and where he mostly worked on the counter. And one day the FBI came storming in with all the people in line, took all the people who worked and put someone in that spot to take care of people and went crazy asking questions and handcuffed the manager right there and then, then came to our side and drilled us, and we really didn't know anything like this was going on. They did catch a couple of the people who were persons of interest and not good people but didn't get them all. He sold these to who knows--He was a youngish man nice looking with a family and screwed himself big time, went to jail under the patriot act and died within a couple of years. Strange but true.

Okay gals....  I need your opinions on this one......Oh wait, first Cammi, Man, I would have been terrified!   I can't stand to be around confrontation, of any kind.  Maybe because of all those memories of the War, and being little and always afraid we would get bombed....

And then living around fighting and drunkeness all the time, and getting spanked for whatever reason, and watching my Brother AND dog getting knocked around.   Even school-ground fights, they would terrify me.

Okay, we made it...  But I won't be around confrontation....  Either I'll walk away..... no, I'll just leave or walk away until it is over.

So now we are all supposed to go to Orlando to stay 6 nights with my DD, her Husband, and the 2 boys, who have moved out.   DD is currently not speaking to oldest GS....  As usual...  He can be a little shit...  calls her names, etc.....  His GF and him have now parted ways, and him staying in the house "they" bought.  DD  always wants to be in their lives.  They only lived 2 blocks away, but now girl-friend has her own home.

They have all been tangled up so many times!  I hate hearing how the boy I 1/2 raised  is being a foul-mouthed spoiled brat to his Mom!  I just love him so much, it makes me want to cry!

Our Son in Law finally told him to either straighten up, or don't come by any more.  Things were good once again....  He apologized,  (again) ...  When our other  DD went to visit them a few months ago, GS would hardly even talk to her.... !  He and his Mom were fighting .... again!

So she called yesterday, and things were fine until I asked how are the boys?   Then she un-loaded and I heard how that kid is dis-respectful, how she will not take it any longer, and if his Dad refuses to stand up for her, then she is done with HIM!   

I just tried to calm her down... It hurts to hear how my GS is doing that, but even worse, how she talks about him!  I just thank God, I am not THERE!  

I calmly asked, "Can't you just stay away?  When he is that way, do you have to fight with him?  And why does youd DH have to not talk to him if you say so?  And  why can't you just not have anything to DO with him, until he can be nice to you?"

So then she yells at ME, because I will not stand up for her, and because I still want to see my Grandson!  

WTH?  Is it ME?   Am I missing something here?

And get this!  We are planning on GOING there, in September!  We will be right in the middle of SOMEthing, and I'm not sure what!  I do NOT want to be around ANYone fighting and ignoring each other.... I mean we can do that at HOME here!

They can visit us any time....  But holy-chit, I hope not all together..........

I want to send her a sweet little email and explain, again, that I don't want to be around all that turmoil, with her working, and us there, and no-one else around!  They ALL work, are moved out, and maybe her DH by this time!

So I want to mention that I think it in our own best interest if we delay the trip awhile....  Have her Sister just go alone this time, and we will stay here, because I don't want to get in the middle...  Is that too much to ask?

What would you gals do?  MY husband feels the same way, and he doesn't like flying ANYway, and I know being around our Hot headed little Daughter, who is instigating  a knock-down dragout in HER house, and is thinking WE want to GO there???????????

Okay....  I'm sorry, but I don't know who else to talk to...  My Daughter HERE, gets along with her Sister great...  then tend to think alike, either that or older Daughter influences her a lot!  

But I woke up at almost 4, and I can't get it off my mind...