INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours
Comments
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Good point about wanting us to be angry. Although, when my son in law blows, he scares me. He's a BIG guy!
Maybe AIDAN thinks dad is all bluff. If I'd pulled this, I'd have been over my dads knees so fast, and just now able to sit. That isn't PC anymore, I guess
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Spookie,
I worked with kids for years. Some really know how to manipulate.
Obviously take any advice with a grain of salt. But my opinion is, if his behavior is the same at school, time for professional help. Maybe parenting classes, maybe family therapy. Maybe the counselor at his school would have suggestions. There medical insurance might cover therapy for him, or all of them.
It sounds like he does things for attention.
Did he show remorse after you broke your arm? I realize it was an accident, but still.
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Spookie - I threatened to take DD's bedroom door off and put her mattress on the floor over a couple of things I thought she might do (sneaking out). She valued her TV, Playstation and privacy too much to try anything like that then. Never had much trouble with lying. I was pretty good with "the look".
Don't need to believe in Santa for presents. Rewarding bad behavior. Maybe token something but nuttin' big. You can make it up later if things improve. Yup agree with 2TA - he's getting something from it. Is he getting plenty of rewards (time spent together with dad/mom not just monetary things) when he does behave right? Praises spoken to others in front of him for good behavior, called oddly enough "stroking". Can he verbalize why he does it? Or do you get "just because" or something equally lame.
http://www.empoweringparents.com/How-to-Deal-with-...
http://www.empoweringparents.com/Kids-Lying-Does-Y...
These people are pretty good. Esp the 2nd link. One place it says that taking away TV for 2 weeks just teaches child how to live without TV not how to change behavior. The Lehmans have been around a long time. Well, actually I read that Mr. Lehman is dead but I seem to remember reading some of their stuff years ago.
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Spookiesmom, the other thing to consider, has someone spoken with his teacher? is something happening at school that he feels he has no control. Maybe he's trying to offset that by controlling you - he knows he can make you angry so he gets pleasure from it. Try to stay neutral as much as possible, it will be hard, see if that makes a difference.
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Some of it may be his age. DS & DIL are seeing a counselor to deal with older GS's behavior. Her theory is that sometimes what they really want is a connection. Getting mad is a connection, although not the best one. I do suggest talking with the teacher to see how he is at school. One of GS's behaviors was not getting ready for school and making them late every day. Counselor suggested a schedule posted on the door after discussing it with him. I heard him tell his brother not to talk to him because he only had 3 minutes left for breakfast.
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WHOA!!!! It's time for bed, and I just realized that today is December 5th!!!
Three years ago today, I was in my room in the hospital, just having had a bilateral mastectomy (with TEs inserted) for Invasive Ductal Cancer.
If anyone had told me that there would come a time when I wasn't consumed with pain; frightened, angry, and frustrated with recon; or that even a day would go by that I wasn't obsessing about my boobs, I would not have believed them.
But here I am today, peaceful with my decisions, happy with my outcome, and no longer focused on two body parts that absolutely sucked all my energy from me for the longest time.
Ladies who are just starting out: It DOES get better!!!!! The road may be long, but have faith, and lean on us when you need to.
Hmmmm - I think I need another piece of pumpkin pie to celebrate the girls' birthday.
Love you all!!!!!
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Blessings, congratulations!!!
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Aw, thanks 2TA....xoxoxo
I just re-read my post and I was worried that it came off all RAH RAH "Hey, I had my boobs cut off and now I'm just peachy keen!"
I was fortunate that my dx was early stage. It might not have been. I am cancer-free today, but I might not be tomorrow or five or ten years from now. If that happens, my MO and I will have some decisions to make.
I would never want to say anything to make my Stage IV Sistahs uncomfortable, so please accept my apology if it came off that way.
It's just that lately, I've spoken to so many newbies who just can't imagine a life where breast cancer is no longer the focus.
Today was the first time I've completely forgotten an anniversary - of my dx, first rescheduled surgery, first fills, exchange, first everything. I think I am finally non-obsessed, and just wanted to share that.
Love you, my dear Owlettes!!!!
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Blessings, you have started a new chapter, one where BC isn't always on your mind. Very liberating.
Dang, why isn't it animated?
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Aw Blessings! FINALLY! You have gone through sooooooo much... CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU!
Spookie.... Man, I don't know WHAT I would do... Sounds like this behavior has been going on for a long time, and it wasn't ever stopped when it started.
Now he gets away with this bad behavior... and his Parents and you are stuck with it... Guess you can't spank kids anymore... and THAT one would probably call 911....
I'd kind of be afraid for that little chit to come over to my house.... He might hide everything he saw! At least until his behavior straightens out... Is there something else going on? I mean like some sort of chemical imbalance in his brain? Or is he just a flat out little brat?
Yes, I would have someone talk to counselors, or teachers, or even law-enforcement...
Put that kid in jail for a week or two! So DH got some pills from the Doc...for depression... ESCITALOPRAM.... And it's only been 2 days, BUT we "talked" last night, and laughed, and I thought WTH??? Are they working already? But I know it is a build-up type of thing, and just a gradual thing, but it was really NICE to just sit there and talk about things!
Want me to send some of those pills Spookie?
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Chevy. - yay for your dh. Obviously you two are for life but why not make it happy.
Blessings - I am stage Iv but def not the appointed speaker, lol. Wasn't in bad taste in anyway. It was awesome !!!!! I love to hear those stories and am positive our newbies will be also. Sweet. Congrats !
Spookie - a spanking on the butt is PC. A smack in the face is not. A beat down with a razor strap is not.
A lie in our house has always resulted in a spanking. Period. Can't say our ds's have been spanked often but the rule stands.
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thanks all for the suggestions DD is a teacher at his school, that is some of the problem, IMO. She can stop by his room and get his work if he "forgets". Enables him. She is BFF with the guidance counselor there, I don't care for her on a good day. She's a kook, and her kid is off the walls.
I will get out with her over winter break and bring this up.
Blessings!!!way to go!!!!!
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my current position for the next 2 weeks. Have to play t-Rex or could pop things open. This is going to be short, pain pill kickinginCongrats Nettie with the new baby. Always so sweet when they're new.
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Smaarty, you're looking good! Rest up
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Whoa Nelly, I blinked and I'm 4 pages behind.
Smarrty----you look fabulous one day post op. Hootie Hoo. What a smile YAY. Love the new hair color---perfect with your complexion
Wish I could do that-----so, white I'd constantly would be chasing the roots.
BBL0 -
Glass update: I was scrolling for another piece of glass and noticed a piece that I picked up months ago. I googled it and had a Sphincter Tightening Moment--STM(new coined phrase for Oh Shit).Georgian Air twist -----------18th century--1700's
Sold for British pounds 250 New that was lots of US dollars. Kept searching. Found a web site that told of a way to tell the difference with fakes. The fakes were common in 1900 to 1920. Yikes, these still could be over a hundred years old. Then found that Blenko made Air Twist items in the last 50 years. The Blenko that's closest to the ones I bought have a bit of a flare at the top. It'll take a glass expert to verify whether the glasses are either the 18th century or 20th century. If they turn out to be Blenko 20th century, that's okay. Blenko is highly collectable blown glass.
Blenko; You can see that the bowl is different
The air twist is created when an air bubble is entered into the stem in the blowing process and twisted as the piece is being completed. Cool.
Ebay listing for a supposed Georgian air twist @ 295.00$ http://www.ebay.com/itm/Fine-Georgian-18th-C-English-Air-Twist-Wine-Stem-Glass-/231162187464?pt=Antiques_Decorative_Arts&hash=item35d2570ec8
It was fun. DS acts bored. Might ask for them back. I could take a very expensive cruise. I forget how many I bought.
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Spookie - My DD was allowed one "I forgot my book, homework" I think it was a semester. She only did it once or twice in elementary school and I don't think ever after that. Yup, Spookie and he will go on to the next school and will she continue to do that for him? What happens when she's sick, in hospital, on vacation, on jury duty? I have an only child - we knew when she was born she was an only - I was almost 35. But we tried very hard not to spoil her - in fact I think maybe we went a little too far the other way but then money was tight since I stayed home. I had more than one teacher tell me that there was no way they would have picked her out as an "only". One of my BFF at the time was a parent enabler but then she herself was a disorganized mess. Had to bring lunch boxes up to school everyday for her 2 kids because she could not get it packed in time for them to go about 1/2 mile to school.
Chevy - Citalopram was one the great antidep. we used in hospice. I saw a miracle turn around in attitude in woe-is-me pt who was actually one of the better off hospice pts - both health and monetarily. Had never heard her laugh until she started Citalopram. Escitalopram is a kissing cousin of it.
WooHoo Smaarty - Lookin' Good. Are you getting good service from DH?
Nettie - congrats on the new grandson. Don't think you gave us his name well his first name I mean. Are you in line for babysitting?
Blessings - totally got what you meant. Great encouragement for those newbies here.
Sassy - the Blenko also looks a lot less sturdy to me - thinner glass.
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Blondie, owhowy, bummer. that just isn't right. Does avenno oatmeal baths take the zing out of shingles like it does chicken pox?Jwoooooooohoooooobelatedhappybirthday
Cami I'm being selfish, but always come here first, pulezze...........We don't want you to wear out.
Mommy I can step out the door and see all the rockets go off. Thursaday morning got my cousin up at 6:30 am . Watched channel 49 until the scrub announcement. Friday slept right through it. DUH
Chevy LOL, Yup we did the same thing. Is that Sherrie or Janie?
2TA LOL, yes the earth moved---erh are you referring to the rocket? Missed that. 2222222 get your shingles vaccine please. They likely wouldn't give it to Blondie cuz of immune system---stupid prednisne. great drug just plays havoc with the immune system
Patty Jwooo is Jen, Hootie Hoo Who's on first? I know we need a scorecard.
Rose have fun partying with DD another milestone and another year YAY
Littlegoats, ewhwww hate having septic. they are so not predictable. Often wondered: If we have turn off valves/knobs for everything, why isn't there a turn off something for a backing up toilet?
SHE'S BACK------MYRA---MISSED YOU Knew you weren't signing in, and no way to reach you. Please, think of giving 2Ta or Jwoo contact info-------worried, but happy you are back ---all smiles.
Nettie WONDERFUL A NEW BABY. lOTS AND LOTS OF PICS PLEASE. PARTICULARS LIKW NAME AND WEIGHT ETC YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY
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Sass.... Is that Sheri or Janie...what? You mean with the pills? Or why did I forget what I was talking about?
And thanks LittleGoats! So far, so good! He is still "happier".... I wonder if he notices yet....
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Spookie, time for professional intervention. Send a PM to Blessings for suggestions. This is beyond behavior modification actions.
Jwooooooooo what fun. your post was 22 hours ago, approx. 4 pm your time. it's 6 pm here. Does that make it 5pm there now. About now is crunch time. Oh have fun, love parties. BTW love your avatar.----so, cosmopolitan
HI1 didyadidya see the new finds. Old find actually, just found out it's collectible. Ds is blase' about it. Guess it's b/c he 's not doing the finding. In college, got him into thrifting clothes at the Goodwill in the wealthy part of town in Tallahasee. He'd call and tell me about the designer clothes he'd get for a dollar or two. He won't do it now cuz he's a lawyer ladeda. Oh well.............
DBF home BBL
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DD#1 taking care of her "little" Sister on her B-day...:)
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Spookie just saw HI1's post----it's a key question "did he show remorse after you broke your arm?" 2TA's comments and LMG's. Get Blessings take on it all. Even if the school won't help, it's time for Psychiatric evaluation, not just a school counselor, not a licensed psychiatric social worker. A Pyschiatrist that specializes in children. There's two particular pathologies that are of concern, only a Psychiatrist can make the definitive diagnosis.
The family is actually better off going to a private doc for diagnosis and treatment because the school won't have access to the records. This is serious. If the family goes through the school system, the evaluation gets entered into his school record. Could mess him up for life. Sounds dramatic b/c it is dramatic.
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Blessing, don't apologize for one word. We each have our own path. We need to celebrate the positive on our own paths and sometimes eat pumpkin pie to celebrate :_
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Chevy Interesting placebo effect....the drugs just don't work that fast-----critical he doesn't drink with it---does he realize that drinking is off the table forever? He needs to accept that before the drug builds up in his system. If he mixes them it can be lethal. AND if he cold turkeys the drugs, he can have serotonin withdrawal syndrome. Don't mean to throw water on the scenario, but I know he likes his booze. You've talked of it many times. I've been writing allot on another thread on drugs. Serotonin syndrome and the SSRI's and SNRI's I'll link it.Love the Cat Tree.
https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/102/topic/826526?page=1
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littlegoats--yes the Georgian glass does look thicker. But the pic is only one piece. Apparently, prolifically made in 1700's. Then in the early 1900's. Making me crazy that I don't have the pieces in front of me. When I bought them I held one of the pieces up and spun it around. Thought it odd the way the bowl was so V, no flare and small bowl--seemed to rule out a wine glass, no extreme V seemed to rule out a martini glass. The bowl was small---stemmed cordial seemed possible. DS likes to make drinks that are different. Plus, these looked very modern and unusual since I hadn't seen them before---price was right--cheap, bought them. I'll be very happy if they turn out to be Blenko. Blenko is a great American manufacturer from Virginia or West VA-. I only have their classic juice pitcher.
What I like is I learned something new. It's also very fun that something made in the 1700's can be viewed by so many subsequent generations as Modern. Makes sense that it was copied in the 1900-1920's b/c that was the beginning to middle period of Modernism.
It's cool that no other glass blowing works were able to accomplish the art until Blenko did it. Williamsburg is doing it but it is with the teachings of Blenko artisans. Not sure if I'm stepping out of bounds in saying Blenko resurrected a dead skill.
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This is another Air Twist --toasting glass----Listed for 1195.00$
picture copyright protected . here's link
http://www.leslieantiques.com/items/524788/18th-Century-Glass-English-MSAT-Toasting-Glass-1750
It seems to be of much higher quality. Could be the other one needed a wash.
Littlegoats if you link on that page look at all her listings. Gorgeous and look at her prices. Whew$$$$$$$$$$$. I'll dream I'm that lucky for awhile.
Jwooohootie hoo the above link id's this site as a member of Trocadero. They are similar to Tias. They are like antique malls of the internet. There's one more I used to go to. When I think of it I'll let you know.
trocadero http://www.trocadero.com/
Think I already said-- http://www.justglass-online.com/
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oops
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Chevy u r daughters r beautiful. ..
Thanks sass, have no idea, heating pad
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Hi Blondie! Hope you are having a nice weekend.
Chevy your kids are adorable. Smarty you look great one day out!
My DD had a lovely 21st Birthday. She is disabled and the hardest drink she can have is cider!! But there was a way fun bowling event, pizza, cake and presents from her buddies and group home -so stinkin cute these residents. They look out for each other and are are just precious. Now there is a Christmas ARC dance tonight and she's "all dressed up and going to dance with 50 boys!" We just got a Txt from her. What a character! So this is some kind of weekend to remember. Who says developmentally disabled folks don't know how to party!
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picture copyright protected . here's link