Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Sandra - take care. Hope DH is doing ok and that he gets out first
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Dear friends, I just wrote a post that was lengthy and heart-felt but a skip-back to the menu caused it all to be lost. Basically, it wanted to say
thinking of you, Sandra and your DH - hope all is resolved and healing begins.
I finished my classes tonight (Wed) and was looking forward to a half day tomorrow and then starting the holiday push to finish the details that are fun.
But, I came down with a UT infection coupled with congestion, cough, swollen glands, and now loud(er) ringing in my ears - plus exhaustion.
I had tea late tonight and a nap - now cannot sleep.
Teka's post about the little ones touched me - I miss the grandkids but am staying detached with all the drama of divorce going on. We still do not know where everyone will be on Christmas so I made a plan with DD in CT.
I loved hearing all the holiday plans...it is a special time and I am grateful for 3 years of good health. And I am grateful for each of you and send hugs and prayers for healthy and happy days ahead.
Ritajean, safe travels and glad you are healing.
Jackie, I like the idea of tending my corner of Earth...I think I need to pull a few weeds :-)0 -
Morning gals! But SANDRA! That must have been so scary! I mean your DH falling to the floor? OMG! At least he was in the right place! The spider-bite started it all? Figures....
I was bitten TWICE by a brown recluse, but it only swelled up like as big as a grape-fruit, and had to get anti-biotics for the welts it caused... I heard some cases have to have skin grafts! I sat on one.... And then I did it AGAIN! But I think the second time wasn't as bad because of maybe immunization from the 1st? It's best to sit on Patio chairs instead of steps....
Joan, and YOU have not only a UTI but the crud that everyone else has! Can you take Mucinex, and Nyquil? And Claritin D? My Daughter got Tamiflu, and it helped her.... My Asthma is a lot better....
I think getting my car all straightened out, and everything done, takes a lot of stress off... DH even got the plates put on! We are good to GO.... someshere.... just no-where special.... Ha!
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"In a world of comparison and conformity, make your own statement. Honor your own truth. Have the courage to be yourself; risk speaking your own thoughts and claiming your emotions. Share your vulnerabilities, tears, doubts, and insecurities; let others experience the real you. Have the courage to be yourself and realize that you are a wonderful person."
-- Author Unknown0 -
Oh Sandra, My thoughts and prayers will be with you tomorrow for your surgery and also for your husband. What is the old saying? "When it rains, it pours!" Sending healing vibes to both of you.
Chevy...love the cat picture! It started my day with a smile, but your posts often have a way of making me smile!
Oh Joan, I hope you get to feeling better soon. Hugs! That yucky stuff seems to want to hang on this year. Hopefully you will feel good enough to enjoy the holiday with DD in CT.
I'm meeting two of my golfing friends for lunch and then running some last minute holiday errands. We have holiday gathering Friday night, Saturday and Sunday with family in the area and then leave on Tuesday for Christmas with my son and his family in TN. I thought I was so "ahead of the game" with the presents, etc. but I feel really frazzled!
Everyone have a good day! More later....
Rita
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Just a moment to say hi to everyone as I need to go to work very soon. It is icky again. They say it will try to snow but due to the high clouds the snow won't actually make it to the ground. It is cold enough to snow though. Well, I guess that is something.
Joan,
I just hate that when I "lose" one of my posts since time moves and we can't totally re-capture ( even if I could remember how I said something ) the feelings we had JUST THEN so likely would move the same words into slightly different positions in the sentence and it would not actually carry the depth it had before. I have stopped even trying to use that function. Once in a while -- I make notes to try and remember what moved me enough that I felt I might have a decent reply. Sometimes I think well and rather fully and other times I can be almost blank.
Anyway -- off to work and I'll finish my thoughts later -- provided they don't head out somewhere to a warmer climate.
Blessings
Jackie
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Brief intro as I've been enjoying this group over the past few days as I recover fro BMX. I live in south central PA and had surgery in Balto at.Hopkins. Turned 62 the day before yesterday. My mom had a massive heart attack at 61 and Dad is 93. I told my husband that if I got to 62 he was stuck with me for another 30 plus years. Then 3 1/2 weeks before BD got the Dx. This made the BD quite emotion filled as I'm through with surgery - no recon and my 2 daughters came home and hovered. (They aren't usually home for BD) but this was a special one.
Until last Thurs I was working full time plus and have to take a leave and hand my work over to others. I hope to go back to part time when through all this treatment stuff. This will be a bigger transition than the changes with my body as I've been on a fast track working since I was 14 years old. The only time I was off more than 2 weeks was briefly when my baby was sick 30 years ago If I wasn't forced to rest I wouldn't be sitting still to write this. Am looking forward to the next phase of life taking time to exercise, socialize and eat better it will be a HUGE change
So glad to have found you all!
Gentle hugs,
Susan
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welcome Cloesmom, I'm 63 and retired 2 years ago and am loving it, other than this cancer business. It takes awhile to adjust though to the flexible schedule
Sandra: hope your husband recovers quickly and that your surgery goes well tomorrow.
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I retired and I'm busier than ever with volunteering and taking classes. I have scaled back Christmas to a more manageable level and am still frazzled. I'm trying to think of birthday gifts for the GS turning 11 on Jan 8. I feel for him having a birthday so close to Christmas.
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Welcome Cloesmom,
Glad to meet you and glad you found us. I have to say it is the real pits when you are breezing through life and something that you have likely never even thought about just turns up out of the blue and slams right into you. It's quite un-called for in my book -- but that doesn't stop it. Anyway we hang around cheering each other on, crying together, laughing together, now and then sharing a recipe, just whatever comes up. We even talk about cancer now and then. This is a fantastic group of women and I'm positive you fit right in.
Blessings
Jackie
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I have mainly ( didn't I know that would happen ) lost my thoughts I had earlier. Went to work and mainly kept the little doggies happy while everyone was gone to the eye doctor's office. Works for me, really !!! On the way home I stopped at Heritage Woods to visit with a lady I did a little work for -- she was afraid I would not come and see her but I couldn't do that. She has family and friends, but we both enjoyed a little visiting while I was working for her -- and I would miss that too.
Anyway, got home late and had to make a little snack -- I was really hungry. We still haven't seen any snow so I presume it did stay up under the clouds. That won't bother me in the least. I did find a pr. of boots yesterday -- and was thinking just in time -- I'll be ready now.
Jackie
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Welcome cloesmom! I'm so sorry that you've had to make this journey but am so glad that you found us. I worked all my life....just like you. I taught school for 33 years and ran my own business fo 13 years. I thought I would be lost when I finally retired but I never took time to look back! I'm busier now than I was when I was working all those hours. I love it!
Wren. I have a grandson that also turns 11 on December 29th and another one that turns 9 on January 17th. It's gotten to the point where I do all there birthday shopping during the Christmas season and split the packages up. I feel sorry for them, too! My Mother's birthday was December 22nd and she taught me early in my life that I should never wrap her birthday presents in Christmas paper! I only made that mistake once and I was quite young at the time! :-)
We actually saw the sun today! It wasn't bright and it didn't last long but it did appear!
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Welcome susan
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Birthdays around the holidays can get lost in the shuffle. It does make it easy to do all the shopping at once though. My first daughter was born 3 weeks after New Years. I learned real quick to buy her presents before Christmas because shops haven't restocked in January. My second daughter was born Dec. 13 and I used to wait to do any decorating until after her birthday. Then I realized I could still make her day special even with a Christmas tree in the next room. My son was born Dec. 23. Poor kid never had a normal birthday party. Most of his friends had left town for Christmas already. I have a Dec birthday as well but it's at the beginning of the month so it's far enough away. My sister was born on Dec. 26 and that was not a good day for a birthday party. The worst one was my brother who was born on Jan. 2nd. No one is interested in party fun by then.
Last night, home alone for the first time in about 10 years because Mike is in the hospital, I began to get emotional. This is what it would be like if something happened to him. I think slowing down for the first time all day allowed my pre-op nerves to kick in and then get mixed in with worry about him. After a restless night I was up and out the door early to visit him and see how his night had gone. They gave him two units of blood last night and he had a little color and a bit of energy. His blood tests showed an improvement in the hemoglobin but by this afternoon, it was back down. Other blood tests were inconclusive and confusing to the doctors. His white blood cells are normal so there is no infection but his red blood cells are dying too fast. He has little red marks on his legs and feet and his tongue has raised red marks plus some white places. Other symptoms are puzzling too so the internal medicine docs called in rheumatology docs for a consult. They called in a hematology doc this afternoon. Tomorrow morning they are going to do a bone marrow biopsy. This is getting serious and for the first time, Mike is getting really concerned.
I wanted to postpone my surgery but Mike wants me to go ahead and do it so I'll be showing up at the hospital early in the morning. Hopefully I'll be finished and into my room by early afternoon. Mike will come down from the 6th floor to the 2nd floor in his wheelchair if he is permitted to. I imagine he's going to be plenty sore since they are taking bone marrow from three locations, but knowing him, he will come check on me anyway. I'll have heart monitors and other telemetry things attached to me so I won't be able to go see him. What a mess, huh?
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Here's the latest picture of our "grand-kitten" Franklin.
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Sending healing thoughts to both of you. Hope everything looks great by tomorrow night.
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Prayers for and Mike.
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Morning gals!
Teacher, isn't it fun to just listen to little kids talk to each other? When I see the little ones next door, it just makes you smile to hear them, and see them sharing and playing with each other.
Sometimes when we are older, I think we just lose that contact, being around younger people... and we really miss out on a lot... Same with spending time with those OLDER than us... We see life with a different perspective...
When we see Theresa & Eddie at the Assisted Living place, I realize they TOO have a lot of things that makes their lives happier, and they aren't just sitting there, waiting for the inevitable... I had breakfast with one of my friends... she is 91... Now I can't believe that she is still driving EITHER, but what would you say to someone like that? She is always ready to go somewhere, and her mind is the same as OURS!
I guess I should just treasure the breakfasts we have together...because she really IS fun to talk to.
Teka, that picture is so pretty, and peaceful! Yes, Hot Apple Cider with a cinnamon candy in it!
I remember I used to like that Southern Comfort in Egg Nog! Or Baileys in hot coffee! No... can't drink while we are on meds, right? But I bought some champagne for Christmas morning brunch... with Eggs Benedict!
Jackie, that is so good about our own corner of the earth! You and I think so much alike... even with the weather... It's like okay fine... the weather is not nice today, but there's always tomorrow!
Morning Rita & Joan! And Welcome Chloesmom...:) You are still much younger than some... meaning me...Ha! Yes... this is just one more thing that we have to get over, with the least amount of pain and stress as possible. If you can keep busy.... occupied, and not too tired, and come talk to us, you will be alright!
It COULD be worse... like you could be as old as ME, and then after BC you fell and broke your hip, had a few screws and a rod to hold yourself together, and I STILL would not stay down!
And THEN my stick shift CHEVY gave it up, BUT I got another "new" car, so I am good to go now... ! But I have my Husband of 57 years, and my 2 grown Daughters, all my friends, so that's what keeps me going.
Hi Puffin, Blondie and Wren!
Now Sandra... I know what you mean... about missing your Husband... I wish I could make you not worry.. It's like when they are gone from us, for any length of time... even a couple hours, we start to worry!
I remember when I took HIM to the Doc, then on to the hospital, because "something is really wrong"... They whisked him right through, put a pace-maker in the next morning, but that night, your heart just won't stop hurting. You keep thinking "what-if"...
But as bad as it seems now, it sounds like he has a great team, and they will come up with something that will help him.. They are calling in professionals to look out for him, and figure out what is going on... It's like you wish it were you, instead of him.... I know.
He wants to make YOU feel better... and not worry about him, and that's why he wants you to go ahead with your surgery...
Maybe call each other if he can't come see you? Tell me again... WHAT are they doing to you? Geez, it just makes us all worry..... Yes, you are in a pickle.... but just let us know as soon as you can...
And Franklin is a sweetie!
Yes.... prayers all over the place for you two! xoxoxo
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Sandra -- what can anyone say. We all want it to be just fine -- for BOTH of you. I am so sorry for your terrified evening but I do understand I think. Sometimes I think, just the fact that night has fallen leads us sometimes into other thoughts and often somewhat dire ones. But, as Chevy said -- it sounds like the Doctors that are seeing to Dh are not shying away from pulling in plenty of specialists to track down the problem. We shall hope that some odd little tweak will get him on the road to a great recovery. I think he does want you to go ahead with the surgery because he knows how much better you will feel when YOU are right too. I think too maybe the idea that he will be "fixed" at the same time you are so to speak -- and then you can both be a part of the same level of enjoyment of life. Lots of prayers and healing energies and vibrations so that each of you get exactly what is needed to handle all health issues.
Kits ( Teka & Chevy ) are so adorable -- and of course, right up my alley. I checked the past two days and think I am feeding about 14 cats ( five or so are late kittens ) at my one feeding station. Only 1 cat left at the other. That is the one farthest from my house but I don't dare try to move that cat. He would not do well at all anywhere else. He has lived where he is most of his life and is there because he would not stay in either of the two homes where he was placed as a very young cat. So I go daily ( so thankful at the price of gas lately ) for him and he always greets me and lets me pet him and tell him how great he is.
Cold -- some sun, and probably snow in a few days. The weather on t.v. this morning seemed to indicate that the closer to Christmas Day we get, the worse the weather will be and that travelers would fare far better if they could fly starting this week-end. Sounds terrible -- I feel bad for those who have made plans that they can't cancel.
See you all later.
Blessings
Jackie
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Thinking of you, Sandra.
Welcome, Chloesmom. I'm 65. I was a teacher for 36 years and am enjoying my 5th year of retirement. I volunteer at our library and will begin teaching a crochet class at the Cancer Support Community in January. I never have appointments that require time in rush hour traffic.
My mom's birthday is Dec. 15 and we always put our tree up then because she wanted to. A friend's birthday is Dec. 25 but her family always celebrated it on Feb. 14.
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Ahh Teacher, what is that "R" word? Retirement? I am 66 and will get SS soon...but still working. I know I am tired and could use lots of breaks ... but we are "saving" a little more as we were not able to do it with our big family.
I was sick all week but got through. Today I took off from work and slept late. Yay! That never happens....got hair done and a little house decorating. I'm up late but can sleep late again tomorrow.Jackie, I want a little kitten so much! Love the pics.
Sandra, hope you and DH are on the mend...
Hugs and peace...
Joan0 -
thanks for warm welcome!!!
Since having surgery a week ago it seems I'm on some goofy sleep schedule. 11-4 then 6-9 and lots of hour naps. Maybe it's the fatigue from BMX or the fact that they had me out for 3 hours for the surgery and then a second surgery the same day for a huge hematoma, but I feel old for the first time in my life. Never sat still before to acknowledge fatigue and now feel like a slug
Have to admit that my life was out of balance. Before BC I was burning the candle at both ends. Self employed working 50-60 hours most weeks. No time to socialize, exercise, have fun. We have an adult daughter who is disabled and I have wanted to put away any extra to help her so never turn down work. Someone upstairshas said "enough". Time to get life into balance. There is more to living than being productive. It's exciting to think about the possibilities of reducing the work load when I go back. Am taking 8 weeks plus as I have an active job and want to spend time at the gym at the YMCA to build up strength. Thankfully I told them I'll be back when I'm. Back and don't have a date. Don't know if it will take longer since I'm not a spring chicken.
Enjoying all your posts. Hugs! Susan
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Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained.
Marie Curie0 -
It's an ugg morning here weather-wise. No sun ( maybe a tiny bit later on ) and by Tues. the really not nice weather begins. Until then ( oh I'm so glad I found some boots even if not the industrial-type I normally go for ) I'll just hang on with whatever shows up.
Susan/Cloesmom,
You found the answer -- you were forgetting some of life's other purposes. Many of us do that and it is not so much a bad thing, but we can get a 'brick' wall reminder now and then. It is a beautiful thing to help our children -- the age doesn't matter, but easy to dismiss ( because helping the other won't last forever ) helping ourselves along the way. We forget we have to be able to help ourselves if we are to stay in top form to help someone else. In part of my studies we are actually HERE to find and have JOY. Not sure why, outside of the obvious, but I feel it has a lot to do with many of the life lessons we are handed. Many are difficult and with some they often even come one right after the other --- so we do need a little time to stop and smell the roses -- to maybe contemplate where we have been, how far we have come, and how best to continue. Our life plans are tied into others most of our lives but we do have to cater to our own life at least as much as we cater to someone else's. It is our OWN life - not theirs that we are perfecting -- and they have a life they are perfecting too -- no matter the circumstances.
I also think by the way, the rigors of operations, drugs etc. can and do cause a lot of fatigue. Harsh to some degree on the body and some people ( I'm one of them though it has gotten better ) can have a big jet lag sort of reaction to the drugs used during an operation. I think it was Sandra who talked about that here. So Mother Nature may be demanding naps at odd times and lack of enthusiasm for too much movement. It all comes together at some point and you know when you are past and can start to step out again.
Came home last night with a Christmas ham -- wow !!! Not to say that almost all the employers I've had haven't been most of the time good to me, but I have to say -- this one has been so much more kind, loving, and giving consistently without wavering. Even just now I'm fighting tears but joyful ones. Life's garden can bring to you such sweet roses that were never expected. I think I started without expectations but feel as though I have been pampered and catered to through the whole time. This is by the way the second Christmas. Started there right before my 68th' birthday. Interesting that I think I might have been getting a bit jaded by my last two employers but was still ok as they ended before any full-blown positive instances had shown. Or maybe that is the sensation from looking back from what has been such a POSITIVE instance.
So this yr. and more have been over-all ( despite a couple of rough patches ) really great and though I'm happy that this yr. is almost done, I have built in enthusiasm and inspiration for 2015.
See you all later in the day. Almost time to go out and feed. I start my little mini-vacation today as I won't go back to work until Tuesday
Blessings
Jackie
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Thanks so much Jackie! You really helped me put things in perspective. I have always been positive. A family member sarcsstically nicknamed me Pollyana and I took it as a compliment instead of the dig it was meant to be. Anyhow I think it was just the fatigue that hit and made the perfect storm.
Such a new feeling for me but then this has been quite an emotional month. Got official Dx on 12/21but saw tumor on US on 12/14 and could see it was irregular and invasive. All in a few weeks to be arranging to leave work, get 2nd opinions from BS, PS, have BMX, having emergency 2nd surgery same day when bleeding all over the place, my birthday this week, holiday season, dog turning 14 and having health issue, ...... Who wouldn't be tired So glad to have you all here that understand.
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Wow, that is really a lot in such a short time. I think you should get all the rest your body thinks it wants. BMX is major surgery and that plus the drugs takes a lot out of you. Your body needs that rest to heal. So Happy Birthday this week. Take the time to enjoy the small moments. Sending healing thoughts for you and your dog.
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