INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours
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Hope everyone is staying safe and warm with all the
different weathers, cold, cold, cold. Prayer and hugs to
all those that are needing a boost. Rose You are a bloom
of love and like a rose can beat any storm. Blondie save that hair
for the Relay for life. To everyone else my thoughts are with
You.
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We made it to MO - ran into some sleet and snow on the way, but it wasn't too bad. I'm not sure we are going to even make a dent in DBF's mom's house. She was a collector, and also had no organization of paperwork.
For the love of all that is holy, have a will, keep important papers organized, and if you are going to end your own life, make sure you clean out all your stuff before hand. It's hard for those left behind in any circumstance, but a million times harder when it is suicide. Sitting around looking for any clue of "why" while you sort through someones belongings, wondering if you could have done something different, etc. is so emotionally overwhelming. Such a waste of a sweet woman, and damn if she didn't leave us with an insane amount of work!.
I am enjoying the cold weather, and seeing snow on the ground.
I hope you are are doing okay, and wishing you all days of feeling good happy times.
xoxoxo
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Jwoo. I'll link a thread later. You will have to scan it. Bon wrote a sysnopsis of the first 25& 26 pages on page 25 and page 26. It's a wealth of info. She wanted to do another synopsis of the next 50 pages. But hasn't,scan those. It's Ma111 thread. Great thread. Lots's of ideas.
After keepsakes out of house. price on the stuff. It' done how ever you want it done. Set the collectibles in one area. hire a estimator --trustworthiness important. Look for liquidators under Estate Sales . Generally, they have a broad enough background to evaluate pricing. Don't forget Replacements .com. Some estimators only want to get their hands on stuff cheap.they pretend real friendly like, but are snakes
Early action: Call that local outfit that Wrenn mentioned, maybe they will send some packers..
Last to do: Let her friend pick out a treasure or two. Depending how many friends. This could get rid of lots of stuff. This is after he gets his stuff out of the house.
Think consignment Ebayer. They do every thing. You pick up a check after all is done.
! ONE--Does he want to save any stuff. I e. the bowl that always has the dressing for Thanksgiving? Try to go through the house and get them out to your or his place. Amazing how things disappear.
Save pics same way. Maybe not when he's around. In years hence if he forgives her, he may want stuff.
many others have been through this year Blessings and 2Ta for sure.
BBL with link
https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/8/topic/770023?page=17#post_3105406
Ask judge to assign an honest probate officer that won't delete the estate. Have a written accounting of everything he does.
Maybe you?
Track dinners_ food and lodging - receipts charge to the estate. It shouldn't.t come out of your pocket.
Please read Ma111' s thread. Now brain dead HUGS sassy.
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Rosie you are right. We're body parts ,sections, brains seen to be excluded in any section
Silence must be taught in Patient interactions 101. Goals: learn to look very busy when asked a question. They have the all saving standby line ready for any serious press of questions " I have a hospital call." Last ,but certainly used throughout _ that ignore.
Rosie girl you've hit the mother load
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j@xyz, my PCP gets everything,, it' the rest
First sleep attempt
Night foots praying l&h&p' s sassy
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Yesterday was a lousy day. Aside from dealing with the drains and trying to be patient, now comes a repair bill for the car! I swear, if I was to have any luck lately, it would only be bad luck!
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http://www.wimp.com/cookingsong/
This is just sooo good! I used to do this.... !!
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Hi M0mmyof2, Sorry you are not having the best of days lately, but Cleveland is having a bit of a warm up maybe 40 this weekend. I'll send it East! I hope you are doing well, and the drains will be removed soon. The good news, when they pulled mine it tickled a little! It was one of the better things I had done lately. Have a great weekend!
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JWoo- I did not realize this was a suicide, I seem to have missed that in reading the posts. So very sad, and makes it that much harder for you and what you are about to do.
Here are some things we did when we had to clean out our mothers house 10 years ago:
a) got one of those big dumpsters for everything that was broken and/or needed to be thrown out. Then they will come pick it up and bring another if you need it.
b) as we cleaned things out, we put things in piles for what we wanted to take and then everything else. We had other family in the area and offered them some smaller things, put it on a table and said "take your pick and take it away." Put the good stuff out of sight or get it out of the house if you can, so it does not disappear.
c) Donating- places most ready to receive include shelters. They need clothing, bedding and household items that go directly to benefit the people. Places like Goodwill and Salvation Army will come pick stuff up if that is easiest.
d) If you need any paperwork shredded, put it in bags and take it to Staples or check with other home office stores in the area.
e) When the house is cleaned out, have a cleaning company come clean it out vs. trying to do it yourselves. You will be exhausted and the amount of dust will be overwhelming. I used a company currently by the name of Molly Maids and think they are national chain. One place to start.
Will be thinking of you, as I know exactly how hard this is.
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Chevy....you don't do that anymore cause you pole dance now....I still do that almost everyday . Car dance all the time too..ha...no one has called to have me pulled over yet.
When I went on my road trip with my friends 3 years ago..I warned them about my out of tune singing and car dancing...lol. After the trip my one friend said her fav part of the trip was watching me rock it out when it was my turn to drive...gotta keep dancing.
Sorry so many have problems with their oncs. I have had a few toe to toes with mine, but 14 years later we understand each other very well. He is all about me having fun and feeling as good as I can. Cancer is second. He and I agree that I need to feel good to live, and chemo will work around that . And when that's over its over...but we will have the best run we can. I am there monthly if not more and he sees me every time to...very hands on...he is a good man.
Hope everyone has a good day...I have been crazy knitting. Even started crocheting animals for kids. Did a hippo yesterday .
God bless
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Oh Jwow I too didn't know this was suicide I am so sorry--this has to be very hard sorting and doing everything. It's never easy.
We were lucky (well u know what I mean) when my mom died she had everything so organized we didn't have any thing overwhelming--she thought off all of it-- The only thing my sister and I did was send her clothes to Italy, so we would never see anyone wearing them--how silly I guess--But all the GC knew exactly what my mom wanted to give them and they all came over and got it and everything was done and all of her paperwork was complete so she made it so easy for us. But she was that kind of person anyway.--I'll never forget when she put everything in some kind of trust, so if she died first no other woman would get anything. LOL And she did but my dad was taken care of. She was always a character. Oh well
Mo I hope u'r days get brighter for u and GOOD luck comes u'r way.
Hoping days go well for everyone, and the weather--well whatever it's going to be it will be.
xoxoxox
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Susan- if you like singing to things, you should get the Tony Bennett/Lady Gaga CD. I am playing it today as I am doing some work around the house and belting it out along with Lady Gaga. I was not a fan of her other earlier music, but love what she is doing with the jazz standards. She found a real mentor in Tony Bennett.
Take a listen, you won't be sorry!
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Hello to all,
Had my shoulder surgery yesterday. I need another block today...lol..it is very painfull. But I knew that going in, had my right one done 10 years ago.
Blondie, great photo, you have handled this well.
Cami, LOVE you family stories...
Patty, hope you are headache free today....
Rose, congrats on finishing your DD dress. I would of had to take it to someone.
Ok, need to send, forgot what I wanted to say, also my iPad will not stay connected.
Hugs to all....Jwoo, hang in there...
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Holeinone- glad you are on the other side of surgery but sorry to hear about the pain. I hope the blocks help and you can get some rest. Wishing you a speedy recovery.
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Holeinone- I am so sorry you are in pain. I hope they do up the block quickly. May it be a success after things calm down and heal. The first couple of days after any surgery are hard.. then hopefully things will improve.
Momof2-hope the drain saga calms down. They are not comfy to sleep with but serve a good purpose. Showers will come soon enough.
JWoo- sounds so hard what you are dealing with. It is wonderful you are there to help and provide support. Going through others things and throwing things away seems so invasive- like erasing a life. But we all have too much stuff and others could benefit from all the unneeded items. We gave huge piles of things to United Way and Women's Crisis Center. They give the items away free, not like Goodwill or Thrift stores where you pay. If you have a need take it. There is also a place here called Teen Challenge that is a religious mission to help homeless kids live. There are places like this all over the country and some pick up for free. Ours does pick ups for free. That way others benefit. Call any large church sometimes they have outreach volunteers who will gladly come get things and distribute to needy families who have requested help. What you give away might provide the best bed a kid ever had or sheets without holes and a warm blanket. I'll be thinking of you as you go through this.
Hugs to us all!
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hey all been lurking but headache makes it hard to type legibly.
Blondie. - love the purple hair. You do look better. Nice to have someone cooking 3 meals a day for you. Vacation will be over soon enough. Relax - get stronger
Hootie hoo
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JWOW! I'm so sorry.... You are 100% right.... At LEAST, make sure the ones you leave behind, aren't stuck with mopping up a whole life of memories! The people that have to clean up, are usually family, and have so many sweet memories of their life together...
No matter what the circumstances, why they did it.... All the memories are left, with no closure! Just "why" ..... and then they deal with their life that now had no meaning to them.
It was hard ENOUGH trying to clean out my Mom & Dad's house, after they both passed away.... But their "business" was all taken care of .... way before!
My Brother and I did it alone.... calling Dad's best friend over, to have him to tell the neighbors, that they could come, and take whatever they wanted.... I had already boxed up some of my favorite "treasure's" and poems of my Mom's.... Her keep-sakes... And then when they were all there, Dad's old work pants were hanging in their closet, and I just took them out, laid them on the bed and cried on top of them.... It just was almost more than I couild take.... Thank God for my Brother... he got me through it.
And then at the airport, going home, my one suitcase was too heavy! The guy said I could take stuff out of one, and put it on the other one.... So I opened it, and Dad's pillow, his belts, were all on top! I just started crying again, and I just "I'm trying to take my Dad's stuff home, because he just died.."
He put his hand on my shoulder, and said.... "I'm sorry.... put it all back.... it all goes on the SAME DAMN PLANE ANYWAY!" None of it made any sense.... So I left San Francisco with nothing..... just my memories and a few things from their life....
We hold onto life.... to each other.... and when they have to leave us, and when it is their choice, I just don't have much sympathy for that person..... Just for the ones who have to DEAL with it....
Hi you guys... Rosie, Beaches, Cams, Sass, HiHO and Jazzy & Susan..,., I'll try and not rant too much tomorrow....
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Chevy- rant away, I like it!
As I am going through the clean out from my recent renovation, I am trying to let go of some things from my parents house I cleaned out in 2005. We had to do that after my mother's health changed and she could no longer live there. That was one of the hardest things physically and emotionally I ever had to do in my life. Hard to explain to people who have not had to do it (or yet). Even now, 10 years later, I struggle to make the decision to keep something or let go....
Rose made some very good comments about the shelters. Last week I dropped off a bag of sheets, towels and three comforters to a local women's shelter for women and children that are victim's of domestic violence. They told me there were three women/families moving out into apts that follow week, and made me feel good to know each family would have a full set of bedding and towels to get started with in their new space. There are people that have never had anything nice in their life, and having something clean and in tact can make the world of difference to a person. I brought a bunch of luggage last week too to another shelter for women who struggle with homeless and repeated cycles of incarceration. They were thrilled to receive those donations too, and said "these will go fast!"
Every time I take things to a shelter, I come away feeling very good I have taken the time to bring things to these women and their families. It may make the process of letting go of things that are hard to part with a bit easier.
On that note, I am feeling a bit sick and tired of my house right about now! I have the cleaning company in and hoping they will get rid of some of the dust from the recent flooring work. Then I am off to do a final round of consignment and donations.
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I found some old pictures.... This must have been taken in about 1953.....
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Chevy- how cool. You one of those girls? Who is the fellow, your dad?
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And this one was maybe taken last week! I think.....
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Paty, sweetie, did you get headaches like this before the tumor procedure? If no Please, call the pain doc. I didn't want to specify why before. But with spinal sx's you can sprout a leak. It can be fixed. The pain doc can fix it. But he can't ask you the key questions to determined if it's a spinal leak unless you talk to him. Please, call him. Sample Key question-- does getting from a laying to a sitting or laying to a standing position make it worse? Piercingly worse?
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Golf girl on a glass search
Looking for some parfait glasses. THIS ENTERPRIZING SELLER ADDED A VIDEO OF A YOUNG MAN DOING PARFAITS deserts sorry about the capshttp://paintergirlchocolates.com/glassware/parfait-glasses/
Found these sometime ago. The pic doesn't do them justice. Seller has them listed for 15$. I got them for .50cents ea. Individual butters.
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Very cool photos Chevy! Good luck on the glass search Sassy.
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jazzy, their are great together. He was great with Amy , I think her last name was Weinstein. She is the one who died. They cut some great songs together too.
Holeinone, been praying for you. Take it easy...hope you sleep well tonight. It's always so uncomfy for awhile to try to sleep....hope you nod off and have sweet dreams....dreams of warm weather, golfing, and your best game ever
Patty p, hope your headaches subside soon. In my prayers
Jwooo, hang in there
Hi everyone else
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Susan- oh yes, Amy Winehouse. She was a great singer too, gone to soon.
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Gg go girl, you have great strength..you know the friggen path --of been there done that doing it again. UGH. Praying for you. let it be a short recovery.0 -
Patty, did you call? Docs can't be a part of the team if you leave them on the bench.0 -
I have absolutely no idea where this week went and I am 5 pages behind so I will attempt to catch up. Busy day tomorrow. Taking 2 goats back from a friend who cannot keep them any longer. Mr. Bucky is going to have company.
Sassy I had read ahead and congrats on your test results. Yay, YAY and MORE YAY yet. Sorry about the patio set. I have a glass top table open patio. I pull it as far under without blocking the door leading outside when we have hail storms.
Happy Belated Birthday Dutchy. This way you can still continue to celebrate - wink wink. WooHoo.
JWoo - (((HUGS))) at this difficult time
Sassy give Phyllo a hug for me next time you talk to her
HI1 - hope you are on the mend from your shoulder surgery. Like what Jazzy says - dreaming about your best golf game and that illusive hole in one that I know you will get one day.
Rose - medicine still has a long way to go to treat the "whole person". Love you bunches and wish I was there to hug you fiercely. I do want a description of your daughter in the dress you hemmed. You have great patience. I would have been on the phone searching for a seamstress. I can't even hem pants and at just (or at least used to be) 5'2" all my pants need hemming.
Blondie - the purple hair suits you. Purple is one of my favorite colors too but don't really have any in my house. But I surely do like to wear purple clothes. Hope you are on the mend. You look good. Glad kids have been to visit.
Mommy - hope you get those drains out soonest they can be. How's it looking for getting them out early next week?
After goats get settled need to clean some house because DD is coming out tomorrow. I thought she wanted her DF to do her faxes but I think she is still lacking one form. Besides he will be working so he won't see her that much.
Missing Nettie. Anyone hear from her?
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTEDgV-Wcc0
