Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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It's just that I've known so many families who have had loved ones in their lives that just went off the right track.... for lack of putting it in a nicer way... And it's usually either their excessive drinking, or pain-killers, followed by meth, crack cocaine, with a dessert of marajuana. They just can't think straight, and they get to a point, they don't care about anything else but themselves.... and then they lose even that.
Their families are lost, trying to "help" them.... Very few people "come back" that are hooked on any of these.... Finally their body craves it in order to function.... And they lose all sense of right and wrong.
Our neighbor Tracy, finally drove to a motel, and overdosed. It wasn't accidental.... Her lost mind just took over and told her she had to do this.... So she left "little Tracy" her Granddaughter, who she was raising, because Little Tracy's Dad was in prison, and her Mom was in jail off and on for drugs, and selling it out of her bedroom window!
Tracy's Son also killed himself about a year before she did.... So we lost this little girl, who came over every morning just to talk to us, and play on my computer, and help me in the garden.... We gave her popsickles, cookes and anything she wanted....
It's been about 8 years, and maybe SOMEday, she will come back into our lives.... We knew her when she was about 4 until she was 8! Little Brother Walker would sometimes come with her.... He was living with his GREAT GRANDMA!
My Brother's boy is a lost cause.... haven't heard anything since I heard he was in a coma, and my Brother was trying to find him permanent housing, once he came off the drugs enough to know what was going on.... I see my Nephews kids on FB.... They have never known their Dad.... Just their Mom's and Grandparents...... but he shows up once in awhile for a hand-out, and to see what he can get from them! If even just a place to sleep!
Wishing you the best with your Tracy, Anne!
Wasn't it just so much easier many years ago, like in the 50's and 60's? Not so many bad influences pulling our kids away....
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Reading the posts has made me grateful that I just have some foot pain. Sandra, I can't imagine having three children with mental problems. My younger sister has two children, a boy and a girl, and they both suffer from depression and have been substance abusers. I feel sorry for her because she put so much into being a mother and, from my point of view, has gotten so little in return except problems, headaches and heartaches.
Chevy, what a story about the nursing home. Black humor and genuine misfortune all mixed up in one. I, too, admire you for continuing to be Carol's friend.
Our rainy weather has tapered off and we're into the usual summer pattern of possibly showers in the afternoon.
Hoping that matters improve for all of you with stressful situations.
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Oh my goodness. My heart and prayers go out to all of you who are suffering with your childrens' and friends' issues, especially you Sandra. You certainly had more burdens on your plate already than any one person should have to deal with. Praying for peace for you, for Mike, and for your children. I agree with what has been said by Jackie and others, a good therapist might be of great help to you.0 -
Sandra - just discovered a possible short escape. Houston isn't that far from San Antonio and I really need a popcorn ceiling removed. It's in the guest room so you'd have to sleep on the couch, but just saying...since you'll be an expert. Hope this is your laugh for the day!!!
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Minus what a good idea, i am sure will b helpful yo u in getting thr ceiling taken care of n since there isa bed she can relax bt ripping it down..
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We are not human beings having
a spiritual experience. We are
spiritual beings having a
human experience.Teilhard de Chardin
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Sandra, I am so sorry we had the same experience with our Son Jeff who passed away from Heart disease in Feb. 2012. He spent 7 years in prison in the big house in Huntsville, Nothing helped,
Were the police involved. I know if they are they file charges for domestic abuse right away.
Please take care of yourself. I know how hard it is with Mike being so ill. My husband was mentally ill for 5 years until we found the right Dr. I almost divoriced him. Hugs
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Morning everyone -- we are going to have ( hope-hope ) a dry day here the weatherman thinks. Maybe cloudy. The humidity will not be very pleasant -- but no more rain sure sounds good. More will come though I think. Too soon to suit me. The creeks, and lakes and rivers around here will keep right on filling for some time so flooding issues do remain.
I sure hope all of you ( in the way of rain, possible flooding, and just overall problems ) will have as good as day as we will have here. Our summer is not starting so well at all but hey -- after we get through this -- we could be on our way.
Dh's transmission is trying VERY hard to give up so we are temporarily ( which with our mechanic could seem like a long time ) down to one car. I'd love to tell Dh to just dump that truck but the motor is quite sound. Most of you won't recall that we were without the truck about 3 yrs. ago for several months. Three motors later ( the guys at the garage kept messing up ) we at long last had a truck that ran. Well, that was great --- but seems like the truck has been broke as much as operating. Brakes, mufflers, engine, axles, now transmissions. My car ( and I'm furiously knocking on wood ) has only needed two sets of tires and a few batteries. I do not drive hard though and I do not slam on my brakes. I start well ahead of a stop sign to slow and get ready to brake. So -- while worn, my brakes are still ok.
That is about it for me and issues today. Nice to not have too much going on. I will go to work tonight -- don't know quite for how long. Got my kitties fed when I took Dh to work this morning so don't have to go out again until time to pick him up. One nice thing about a truck that must sit in the drive-way is that I'll know where Dh is most of the time while the truck is laid up. He has trouble staying home. Now he will have too. Mind you --- he doesn't do anything bad -- he just finds what seem like good excuses to take off for town. Needs something from the hardware -- imagine lots of question marks after hardware, or needs something from Wal-Mart -- more question marks, or needs to go down to the store to see his schedule -- really -- he could call, or he needs just one more cup of coffee so he has to go into town to McDonalds. No wonder he needs another transmission, huh !!!!!
Ok, enough of my snarky self. I'm sure none of those likely un-necessary trips had much to do with a transmission that wore out. It wore out because it is old now -- like us and everything else.
See you all later.
((( Blondie)))
Blessings,
Jackie
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Good afternoon all
Just finished cleaning the house for the first time in years. We have had a lady coming I. Once every two weeks to clean, but, as usually happens, she got lazy and since we weren't here most of the time that she was, she was here only for 3 hrs instead of the 6 we originally agreed on. She was not doing the heavy cleaning we had agreed on either- she was doing a surface cleaning. Anyway, Tracy decided she would take over the cleaning and use that money to pay a lawn service. Well, guess what happened two weeks after letting the lady go? Tracy broke her ankle. So today I cleaned both bathrooms, the kitchen and straightened up and dusted the rest of the house I am exhausted, but happy I could do it. My 12 yr old DGS vacuumed, and the young lady living with us mopped the kitchen.
This afternoon, my DS's charity is having a fundraiser. It is called "HighHeels and HighTops". It is at a local restaurant, and people wear their best shoes ( most original). Everyone gets to vote, and the winners get a $300 gift certificate to get new shoes at designer botiques. There will be a deejay aNd drinks and appetizers are half- price. All the proceeds will go towars a 2 day camp they have planned next month for long term foster care kids and other at risk teens going into 8 the and 9th grade next year. The goal is for each member of Three G to match up with a kid at the camp and stay in touch by calling, visiting and tutoring them as needed. They are hoping that it will help each child to know at least one person is going to be there with them for the long haul.
Other than that, Tracy has surgery on her ankle Mon, so we will be busy with that.
Anne
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Sending hugs out to Chevy and Sandra and any others who are dealing with such major issues in your lives. My gosh gals! You have a lot on your plate and this IS one place you can come to vent.
I echo Blondie's words of "Hugs and prayer to all."
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Just catching up on the postings for the last few days, hugs to all of you going through family issues.
I led a carload of people on a birding trip to the western part of the state Friday and Saturday. We found our "target" birds and had good weather during the day, although there were 82 mph winds that took out the power to our motel until 4:30am and left tree branches scattered all over town.
We got back home at 6pm, ate supper, repacked our suitcases and drove another 3 hours to Lew's mom's. Spent the night at his sister's and this morning we're back at the nursing home sitting vigil so his sister could go home and take a shower. She quit breathing Friday for as long as 3 minutes at a time. We can stay until Tuesday night, then have to go back home as I have Dr appt Wed AM.
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Real success requires respect for and
faithfulness to the highest human values--honesty, integrity, self-discipline,
dignity, compassion, humility, courage, personal responsibility, courtesy, and
human service. -Michael DeBakey0 -
Jackie, Is that Michael DeBakey the heart surgeon? If so, I think he's lacking a few of those.
Puffin, Hugs. Sending peace for all of you in the family.
Sandra, Hugs for everyone.
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Wren, I'm hoping not, but I don't have an autobiography note on most of the quotes I have sent to my in-box every day. I wish I did though. It would make it interesting wouldn't it! Some you just know -- like Elizabeth Kuebler-Ross, Dali Lama, Helen Keller, Corrie Ten Boom, Mother Theresa, are not going to be open to much question.
The day has turned out to be ok for the most part. A few clouds, but no bad weather. I think it is more humid ( don't like humidity much at all ) than I like but there has been far too much water in the air for it to be anything else.
I hope you and your Dh's, and anyone in your life that qualities as a Dad are all having a good day.
Jackie
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We just returned from a 2 week stay at our vacation home in central Oregon, no Wi-Fi, so I'm catching up on pages of news. So much going on in everyone's lives!
Sandra, I just want to come through my computer screen and give you a long hug! As someone said......who knew that having an extremely high IQ could be a not-so-good thing. It's also very heart wrenching when our kids blame us for seemingly doing too much or not enough in their lives. You definitely do not need this stress right now, while dealing with Mike's illness. I can't believe there isn't something the dr. can't (or likely won't) give him that could help with his depression. I think drs are so afraid their patients might get hooked on drugs that they are now under-prescribing! I still suffer from a great deal of nerve pain from Guillane-Barre' Syndrome and my neurologist was in a big hurry to get me off even the low dose pain meds I was on. So I transferred my pain issues to a pain clinic where a dr. monitors my meds but makes sure I'm comfortable. Maybe you're the one who could benefit from something for stress......besides scraping popcorn ceilings, lol. When our oldest son was diagnosed with, and 10 mos. later passed from, cancer in 1998 I completely shut down. Instead of diving into projects I could hardly make it through each day accomplishing the most menial household tasks.
Chevy, I agree that you lead a very reality show life! I think you should be a writer. I know the incident with Cecil was black comedy but the way you described it definitely was my laugh of the day. Also, you DID NOT graduate from high school in 1942! I've seen your picture and you are not a day over 60 maybe 65! Carol is very lucky to have you as her friend as, I agree, many of her other "friends" have probably disappeared.
Carol, you're placemats are beautiful! I'm all thumbs when it comes to crafts and sewing and envy those who are good at it. How great that your mom found new carpet for her bedrooms AND they will move the furniture.......not many stores do that anymore.
I'm alone this afternoon as my DH is golfing and having lunch with our sons and the weather is so nice I'm enjoying relaxing on the deck. My thoughts are with all of you today, hoping that those of you struggling with health or family issues are finding some answers and feeling a bit of peace today.
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If it can be verified, we don't need faith. . . . Faith is for that which lies on the other side of reason. Faith is what makes life bearable, with all its tragedies and ambiguities and sudden, startling joys.
Madeleine L'Engle
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I'm busy these days with making the transition from house to 5th wheel camper. I have transferred most of the frozen food from the two house freezers to the camper freezer, which is quite large. Our camper has a house refrigerator with the big freezer drawer on the bottom. I'm also carting out pantry items and staples to the camper. The whole process would be similar to packing up to move to a summer cottage for three months.
Before I leave, I always like to clean up the house. So that job is ahead of me, too.
This year the preparation is a little different because we are planning to leave the camper in MN at Pine Hollow Resort. Normally I fill up my closet in the camper but I'm "trying" to take the minimum. Not easy for me. Everything we bring home will have to fit in the truck. So I'm taking some soft luggage for our clothes. We'll both leave some clothes.
Anne, that was nice of your daughter to fire the housecleaner and then break her ankle! LOL! If I had to choose between a yard man and houseclean, though, I would probably choose the yard man, too. I hate housework but just plunge in there and do it every so often. I always like the results.
We had a nice surprise today. A nephew who lives in Seattle had gone up to the golf course where the US Open was played this weekend and watched a practice round. He evidently bought DH a shirt there and me a visor with my name embroidered on it. That was very sweet of him. I know that merchandise is expensive.
Well, I'd better get back to work.
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I have not been posting but continue to keep up with all of you. My prayers are with you all. Thanks for being there ! Working on left arm and putting all this in its place so I can move forward seems to linger more then I would like! Shuf
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Good to hear from you, Shuf.
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Shuf, it is good to hear from you. I sure hope you are able to reach a point of some satisfaction with your arm.
We are having our hickory tree removed tomorrow. I'll be at work part of the time. I'll be glad to see it go. With all this rain things happen. We saw a huge ( very, very alive and just full of leaves and braches ) tree that just became separated from the ground enough to topple over due to the heavy rains we have had. Apparently the poor tree just sat in enough water-table water that it could no longer stay up-right. It was a gorgeous tree -- quite big and so well leafed out. We have seen this happen before but to the best of my knowledge not out here where we live. Still, when you see that and know why --- it gives you pause for thought.
The hickory tree seemed fine last yr. This yr. we only got a few sparse leaves on one tall big branch. Never even noticed that at first, as we waited for all the trees to fill out and then one day I looked up at just the right spot -- and nothing. That tree ( the hickory ) is fairly close to our house and if it came down we would have some super serious issues for sure. So as we are due for even more rain ( hopefully not in the huge amts. we just had ) I'll feel a lot more comfortable with it safely on the ground.
Jackie
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Tough week for me, hospice nurse told family it was time to come in for Lew's mom. She died early this morning, after 11 days of family taking turns sitting with her around the clock. We spent today cleaning out her nursing home room and meeting with the funeral home director. Loud thunderstorm going on at the time she died, Lew's sister says the angels were having a party to welcome her home.
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((((((Puffin)))))) It's hard but we all have to do it at some point. May peace and love surround the whole family.
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((((((Puffin, So very sorry for your loss. May peace be with you, Lew, and the family.))))))
Paula
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Oh Puffin... I was reading the other day about the last stages of our lives.... Because of my friend Sheilah..... Her Husband was having an awful time, fighting for every last breath... Even when they took him to the hospital... And the family watching what was going on...
I read what we go through... and it talked about how our breathing can stop for awhile..... and then....... it goes on and on about what to expect, when you are caring for someone facing their last days.... It's just that we have morphine to make this "passing" easier... It's just rough, no matter how you look at it... I remember my Grandma, then my Mom, AND my Dad, and us sitting there, just hoping and praying that they will soon join their loved ones...
I guess the folks at the Assisted Living where Theresa is living, are having a meeting about the "Incident" with old Cecil and his SIL.... It's about a week too late, but so many rumors going around... I think people think that when you get shipped away into Nursing and Assisted Living places, that your mind has also checked-out, and you can't THINK, or have emotions! That's just plain stupid!
Theresa and I have the MOST fun talking about News topics, and what we did when we were "girls".... So we should include these oldsters in what is HAPPENING! They are not kids, and deserve respect and honesty, about life, and what is going on around them.
Old Cecil had a "gathering" last night... Theresa's Son went... because they all knew each other... We all figure he is in a better place now anyway. Hope his SIL had his running shoes on, because if Cecil caught a glimpse of that twerp, he would be AFTER him! Bad shot old Cecil was... bullet-holes in the ceiling???? But only one caught his HAND? SIL probably thought he could reach out and grab that bullet... I just feel bad for the Daughter... She was/is MARRIED to his SIL.... Or maybe she put her Dad UP to it! We just don't know these things......... best we don't pry.
No, I graduated in 1955... Theresa graduated in 1942... Isn't it neat that she still wants that year book??? I think her DIL thinks she is balmy, but we don't care.... If it makes her happy, it makes me happy.
Have you gals ever gone to classmates.com and looked around for your year books? You can see the pictures, and all your friends from your High-Schools! I mean if you are of reasonable age, and they still PRINT them.... Ha! I printed off the receipt, and noticed they somehow changed the year to 1924... Ah Geez, I know she can't SEE, but she SURELY would have noticed THAT one... And also she would not have BEEN there! So AGAIN I had to email them back, and hopefully we will get the RIGHT one!
I've been painting the big fence around our property... NEXT I'm painting the house! It is in such bad shape, I am embarrassed... The North side needs it the most, also the front... So it's going to get all snazzied up. I have our new paint gun, big and little brushes and rollers.... So I can reach it all... without too much ladder work.... It's just that I love to paint.... always have... and when DH paints, it is EVERYWHERE!
I COULD have someone do it, but I would miss out on all the fun! I will if I have to.... or if I plummet off the ladder.... but I'm really anxious to start on the house.... then the garages. I'll take pictures... and send them from the hospital.....
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Puffin, I'm glad your MIL has reached a peaceful state. It's wonderful that she had caring family members keeping vigil with her.
Chevy, please be careful. Painting the outside of your house sounds like a lot of work.
Jackie, I have seen many huge trees toppled over. So much of the root system is actually fairly shallow.
We're off to the gym this morning.
Hi to everyone.
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“With awareness there comes choice. And so you are able to say: "I allow this moment to be as it is". And then, suddenly, where before there was irritation, there is now a sense of aliveness and peace. And out of that comes right action.”
Eckhart Tolle0 -
Puffin -- thinking of you and your family this a.m. and hoping for peace for all of you. You never quite prepare for the finality of loss, but healing will come in its own time.
Blessings
Jackie
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Thank you all for the kinds thoughts and words. Wake and funeral will be Sunday afternoon and Monday. We'll be heading home in about an hour, then need to prepare a photo board for Lew's line of the family and finish putting together the slide show. As the genealogist in the family I've also inherited all the old photos. We've tagged the photos with the names of who's in them, so hopefully all that work will pay off in making it easier to locate the photos we want.
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Puffin, those photo slide shows are wonderful at a funeral service. They're a reminder of the fullness of the life of the deceased.
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