Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
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Jean, I am so sorry. I was writing before work and hundreds of details are fighting for space in my brain. You are so nice to let me off the hook ---- but that is one of the biggest reasons why it is so nice to be here.
Judi, it is so nice that there is someone else who accepts most of the spiritual path here. For a long time I usually was quieter about most of it. As to losing a child --- that is a VERY difficult one to have to grow your soul on. I would have trouble with it as well I'm sure. If there is an up side it is not so much for us here but the soul who returned to the other side. They only had a small amt. needed to finish and were able to "go back home" sooner rather than later.
I think there are a lot of things we may not figure out while we are here --- but it will all be available later to us. Growing the soul is not any sort of big thing unless you really are on the road to becoming a well known spiritual teacher. For most of us it really consists mainly of doing our best each day. Not allowing ourselves to go into total despair with mistakes, and to resolve to try and improve on something each day. Generally putting as many positives into our life and the lives of those around us. I have always felt that one of the truly important things is to know that even the smallest good thing we do is often such a boon to someone else. When it is --- that person often chooses to try and be a little better too. That is how the world gets better -- one kindness, or smile, or helping hand at a time.
I hope none of you here will ever take yourselves for granted or feel you can't or haven't made a difference for others and yourself. We may never know it ( sometimes we get fortunate and find out ) how much we do made a difference in life. Also, if you do find out ---- it may take a long time for it to be revealed to you. Last yr. I was out feeding the feral cats and I saw a man who seemed to be waiting for me in the front parking lot of where I feed. When I got there he stepped in front of my car. I rolled down the window and he told me that he had watched ( I honk the my horn so the feral cats will come out ) what I was doing in the back lot. He said I want you to know that it is a beautiful thing that you are willing to come to the aid of God's creatures. Needless to say I was stunned. I have been going to that store for 9 yrs. to feed those cats. I barely remember going and doing the others. Not sure why this was made plain to me. Maybe I was getting tired of the time and money spent all the years I've devoted --- so I was given a bit of a reward. Someone noticed -- and it made my day.
You may not know but the kindness in your voice, the touch of your hand, just letting someone know that you feel for them, that you wish you could carry their burden for a bit, may make such a difference --- it is usually not the big things, it is all the tiny ones that leave a mark and keep propelling us forward -- willing to soldier on -- realizing that we are an example and that we are making a difference --- one little kind word, deed, or smile at a time. You are all so important and you are all wonderful people --- and that is what it takes to grow a soul really well. Little things done with love for as long as those little things are needed.
Well, enough from me. I get so carried away -- far too enthusiastic at times. It is a bit warm outside, but never-the-less a very pretty day and I'm going to enjoy it every time I look out my window.
Jackie
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Had a good weekend visiting my Dad and going to the MN State Fair.
I've been planning on buying a different car within the next year before I needed to buy a new battery and new tires, my 2003 Honda Civic had 146,000 miles on it. Just happened to check out carsoup.com and found a 2013 Honda Civic with 18,000 miles at our local Honda. By the time I got there it had sold, but they showed me a 2004 Civic with only 31,000 miles that an 84 year old woman had owned, used it only to drive the 5 hours to visit her son, nonsmoker, no pets. She fell and broke her hip and can't drive any more, her son traded the car in last week, and now it's mine! Can't believe how CLEAN it is. I've only had it 24 hours and Lew has already gotten black dirt on the floor mats. Think I need to buy those special mats that are easy to clean.
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What a good looking car --- seems like 31,000 is barely broken in well Puff. Good for you. !!!! Enjoy !!!
Jackie
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Pretty car!
I am having a difficult day....actually days. I hsve 3 scans tomorrow and all I do is cry. My MO did Timor markers a few weeks ago. I finished chemo 6 weeks ago. All I can think about is this happening all over again. All this scares me do much. I am scheduled for expander exchange in three weeks and all I think about is something will happen to not that that happen. I have airline tickets to go to my daughter's at Thanksgiving and my son's at Christmas. I miss my kids and grandkids do much. I am so afraid something else is going to happen. I cry all the time. How do you EVER get past this?
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Sunshine,
Breast Cancer is a scary beast. Even when we think we are out of the woods , it is looking over our shoulder! When things are going well we can forget about it, but when something occurs that might mean mets, or another primary, I know, as an OLD nurse I tend to think the worst. Being scared is normal, we all have out times. I have a colonoscopy on next Wednesday and am very worried this time. We understand , as others can't and are here to hold your hand.
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I couldn't agree with you more Bonnets -- well said.
Jackie
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Jackie,
I love your authentic outlook on life. We seem to be kindred spirits of a sort. It's funny but I don't like to think of myself "fighting" cancer but more making friends with it so that we can peacefully coexist. Your kindness and regard for others is so appreciated by me. I try to live my life in such a manner and "pay it forward". I feel that by walking gently into the good night, we can inspire others to do the same.
With Admiration and Blessings,
Judi
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Comforting hugs for you, mysunshine. I hope you report some good news to us on those scans.
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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful
beyond measure. It is our Light, not our
Darkness, that most frightens us. We ask
ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the
World. There is nothing enlightened
about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us. It is not just in
some of us; it is in everyone. As we let
our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the
same. As we are liberated from our own
fear, our presence automatically liberates others. -Marianne
Williamson0 -
Good morning,
It's upward and onward for my day. I thought there would be a shopping day for me today --- but no, so maybe Friday. Back over to Mickie's to see what I can do for her. I'm a bit stalled there --- can't do the fridge until the ceiling and walls around where it will sit are painted --- and it goes back in it's spot --- a newly created one. Odd house --- that fridge blocked cabinets so BIL cut them away and made backings --- and created a space for the fridge that will get it out of the middle of the floor.
HGTV would be proud --- but it really was only a rational thing that should have been done long ago. Mickie lives alone so no need for excessive kitchen cabinets anyway. Right beyond the kitchen door -- the laundry room with floor to ceiling cabinets on one side --- the ones in the kitchen in my view were extras in that sense anyway.
Our heat is back --- we are into 90 degree minimums again. Sept. is routinely a month where we have been able to expect kinder temps. We will have to see how this goes. I don't think I'm ready for Fall ---hmmm, but that won't stop it.
I'm already planning projects for when I am done with Mickie's and when the weather is definitely less inviting outside. In between will be the massive yard clean -up of leaves and nuts out of the trees. We have a lawn sweeper that goes on the back of our tractor but Dh has never liked it ( I think he tries to put too much in at once ) and so we end up with his back pack blower and my smaller electric one and spend hours each day swooshing big piles of leaves and nuts over to the huge ravines on either side of our house. Good exercise, but very tiresome and in the beginning --- it is always re-filling so feels like you will never be able to stop.
I hope you are all going to have a great day -- doing only things that please you. Yes, I know how that goes, but its a great challenge anyway. See you all later.
Blessings,
Jackie
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thank you all so much for your friendship. Really tough times right now! Judi, I agree with sunshine no one can tell you what to do but there are some of the finest women here that I know we will have your back at all times. My heart is with you! Shuf
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Bonnets,
I will be thinking of you on Wednesday. I don't see my MO until the following Tuesday to know the results. On the C-Scan report they said it looked like a primary colonic malignancy. The funny thing is that I already have mets to my colon, stomach, peritoneum. and opernum. I am going on a road trip with a good friend this weekend and will be gone on a Casting for Recovery Retreat next weekend. Hopefully, I can keep myself occupied to keep the dark thoughts at bay..
Best of luck,
Judi
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Judi, what symptoms did you have, if any, that you had mets or colon primary?
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Thanks for the good wishes about my job situation. While I felt OK after my work meeting, I found that over the next day I was still harboring resentment. I wanted to let them know how unprofessional and unfair it all seems. But, I am sticking with my decision to let it go and it takes practice.
Jackie, your quotes over the past few days really hit me where I'm at. I was feeling inadequate, not finding my place. I had a first class Tues. evening and spent a lot of time trying to find a way for the class to join my course management system with minimal cost. I felt so burdened for the extra expense and that some had already purchased a book. Today, my publisher's rep gave me free access to the e-text and online course for all my students at no charge. I am so grateful that now I can move forward with my class on Thursday.
I went to a STEM meeting for mentors and newcomers (science technology engineering and math scholars). I have never had a student to mentor, and I felt very inadequate at the meeting.
A few hours later, I was building a lobby display which I created. While I was working, a former student stopped by and chatted with me while I worked. Two of the STEM scholars stopped by as I worked and chatted as well. A colleague who moved to a new building stopped by and caught up with me.
I began to realize that I do have purpose and relationships at work. I just spend part of my day in a "toxic" environment! I need to go downstairs more often for a "sanity check".The real point is that we are given these moments to guide us and encourage us on our paths.
When our friends on this thread are facing tests, new diagnoses, and fears, I believe we all share in the emotions that this uncertainty brings.
We are not alone; we share that first diagnosis in common. I am happy we have this thread to work through what life brings.Carole, it sounds like a warm summer up north. Enjoy these last weeks of summer.
Sending positive thoughts to all here,
Joan0 -
A woman once told me that she did not feel the need to reach out to those around her because she prayed every day. Surely, this was enough. But a prayer is about our relationship to God; a blessing is about our relationship to the spark of God in one another. God may not need our attention as badly as the person next to us on the bus or behind us in line in the supermarket. Everyone in the world matters, and so do their blessings. When we bless others, we offer them refuge from an indifferent world. -Rachel Naomi Remen
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Ok, the Universe is just urging me to say wow, Joan. It is how we relate so often to others that sometimes so very gently and quietly creates 'visions' for us that show us how to be better to ourselves and to others. I love looking at these revelations every day. I'm always astounded by how others move into a 'feeling', a knowingness that might have been clouded a bit, or obscure.
I question, question, question and feel so often my "reward" lies in what others discover. That makes all my days pretty much exciting adventures.
To that end, the friend in town I am helping with her house discovered ( with the help of the Serve-Pro people ) three kittens ????inside a furnace duct that they needed to suck out. They seem to be about 4 or 5 weeks old. No idea where the mother is, but they couldn't stay where they were. So, turns out we both, almost at the same time went and go baby feeding bottles, formula and I also got some kitten wet and dry food and a bowl. I do wish the mom would find her way back, but if not --- the kittens will be fed. Yesterday, while I was feeding one -- it made a little #2 on me --- I cleaned it up and gave it to my friend. The little kitty proceeded to do #1 on her. I think we are poor substitutes for the mommy cat. That said though --- I was glad as that would say to me that these kitties might do all right if their mother doesn't show up again --- they do seem able to GO on their own.
Otherwise --- I'm looking for a really good day --- even if it is going to be rather hot --- in the high 90's. A/C has been on several times already this morning. I'm going to work --- coming home and doing some things here, then going back to town to feed another friend's kitties and clean their boxes. My friend is taking a little jaunt to Michigan and back for a couple of days. She always calls me and lets me take care of her group. She does pay me by the way. Fact is....I'd do it even if she didn't.
See you all later.
Blessings,
Jackie
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Hi Bonnet,
My symptoms included ascites, cramping or pain after eating and during a BM, and two bowel obstructions. My first bowel obstruction was in 2011 and they told me it was due to a "virus." A year later I was diagnosed with colon cancer and what I listed before. I should have pushed for a better explanation in hindsight. My MO told me I had colon cancer at that time. I am not sure if this is a new primary. I guess I will find out in a couple of weeks. What are your symptoms?
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JUDI,
Have had an increase in BM frequency the past year or 2. Have had what we termed IBS-d for years, as no cause was found. Am sensitive to some specific foods like broccoli and blueberries! Also have been having narrow stools, and somewhat flat stools. Had colitis in March and had a CT showing thinkening indicating inflammation, and also thickening in the descending ad sigmoid colon, not felt to be inflammatory. Have gone on Gluten free since April, which has helped but not eliminated frequency. Added probiotics and half an immodium to the mix. Gastro's concern now is the non inflammatory colon thickening. I asked why we didnt do colonoscopy in March, he just said he was waiting to see if things improved!
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Jackie, It's actually a good sign the kittens are peeing and pooping on their own. When they're really little, they have to be stimulated to do that. Find something really shallow (1 in max) and put litter in it. You can use an empty cat food carton and cut an entrance about 1/2 in high. They will start using it if you put them in the box immediately after feeding. They have to work on their aim though. If you don't find Mom, at least she gave them a good start.
What is it with doctors who don't want to perform tests? If they're concerned, find out what it is before letting it go on for 6 months!
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Judi - be sure to post on your experiences with Casting for Recovery. I just found out that I'll be going on one in Oct in NE.
I am already a fly fsherwoman but so looking forward to the Retreat.
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Oh, Jackie, so happy you found those kittens. Bless you! Was the duct inside the house? I wonder how they got there. I hope mama shows up. Maybe leave food out? As you can tell, I am an animal lover. Have rescued many over the years. I am nervous tonight as I find out scan results tomorrow.
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Hoping for scan results that please you sunshine and everyone else. As for the kitties --- no one has ever explained exactly where the little kitties were. I'm just glad they are seemingly ok. With my lifestyle I could not take these kitties in at my house ( just got a kitty nearly a month ago now plus a few months ago a much older cat whose( owner had passed away ) name is Elisabeth. I couldn't believe the cat would easily answer to her name, but she does and talks your leg off.
Anyway Mickie ( lady who owns the house ) doesn't work and has had a lot of little kitties in need of some "motherly" assistance. I will though do all I can to help with some of the expenses for a while. Soon the kits should be able to eat 'regular' food and should be fine.
I did not want to take either of the last cats but took Elizabeth because she was 13. Sunshine, we have been saving animals at my house since the dawn of time. We have five dogs and about 20 cats. All save for the last young kitten ( hoping to get Dh to take a picture so I can put it in here ) are neutered or spayed. We have some indoor/outdoor ones, but most stay in a huge screen room on the front of my house or in the house. If they were born inside -- we usually don't encourage them to go out. We live out in the woods by a lake and all sorts of animals could be a problem. The ones that do go out here were outside cats originally and learned long ago how to handle themselves around all the other wildlife to be found here.
We still haven't picked a name for the new kitty --- still don't know if it is male or female. Anyway, Dh is 76 and I'll be 70 --- so we figure to be well into our 80's and still have cats from right now. I've loved being able to give a home to the homeless, be it cat or dog --- but have been doing this off and on ( I think more on ) since the age of 11. As things go it seems things generally either get more expensive or more difficult or both as you age --- so I didn't want any more kitties because they could out-last me. I'd like a few yrs. to quit being a surrogate to anyone as much as I love them.
I also have feeding areas in town where I go every day, 365 days a yr. and feed, rain, snow, blistering heat -- and so eventually, I'd like to have a life where I only have to consider myself and Dh.
Anyway, I've had a fantastic day so far. Just went to my friends and fed her kitties. She will be gone till Saturday afternoon -- so I'll have fun with her group. See, I guess its like this --- whenever I finally don't have any --- some one around me will.
See you all later.
Jackie
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When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and bring joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.
Jean Shinoda Bolen
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Going to be another 'hottie' today. Well, since I will be a little busy --- I imagine I won't be able to give it too much attention. We just do what we have to do and let the rest go. Still hoping and praying for all who had tests this week on Wednesday.
I think ( though I'm doing a lot of work today ) I won't have to go to work tonight --- but will go tomorrow night. So, I will be back some time this afternoon. Going over twice to feed my friends kitties. They are all such neat little people. Two of them are cats that I spent time with every day for two yrs. because they were her mother's cats originally --- and when Mom had to finally go to a rest home, they were taken to my friend's house to live. It has worked out well.
I'll see you all later. Off to work.
Blessings,
Jackie
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thinking about all of you. Praying for all of you that have tests and pray they are positive. Shuf
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If you can accept the flow
of life and give in to it,
you will be accepting what is real.
Only when you accept what is real
can you live with it in peace
and happiness. The alternative
is a struggle that will never end
because it is a struggle with
the unreal, with a mirage of life
instead of life itself.Deepak Chopra
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Laundry day on this hot, humid Saturday of Labor Day weekend. My version of labor! Laundromat not too busy and seems to be air-conditioned. This weather is too much like home. Nice MN weather returns Mon.
Potluck dinner at the resort last night with karaoke dj. We ate our supper and visited a while, then went back to our camper. The partying went on until 2am. Lots of booze provided by the owners. We gave up getting boozed up and having a hangover the next day. Now we're old fart party poopers.
Hi to all.
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Carol, Know what you mean. People get louder and way less interesting the more they drink. I used to be one of them.
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Ah yes, Carole--- the reality that must be borne on the morrow is so very much no longer worth the night before. At our age being the life of the party comes with way too high a price tag the next day when you certainly want to feel glad you're alive. Yay for you and Dh. Potluck part sounds pretty good though.
It is hotter than a firecracker on the 4th. of July here. Have had enough going on that I haven't "concentrated" on the heat and humidity too much thereby making it a bit easier on myself. Once I acknowledge it is hideous, it sort of takes over --- and staying busy keeps me from fully 'accepting' the negative condition that is prevailing right now. Sounds like shortly after next week begins --- so will some rain bringing with it a nice drop in the temps. so I am already looking forward to that.
I finished up today at my friend's who was/is returning from her three day jaunt -- mini vacation. A lot to do, but I went early so I wouldn't be late feeing my feral cats. Turned out I wasn't too late. Now I will do some things here and then get ready to go to work tonight. I'll have a day off tomorrow -- whew !!! Looking forward to it too.
Jackie
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Well I got really depressed so thought I would kick it up a little so I booked dh and me a cruise to Alaska. We have been wanting to go so it is set for May 2016. Really excited! Also going to gatlinberg (smokey mountains) in tn. in October. Should have mom set by then. I know I saw where some of you have traveled to Alaska. All suggestions welcome. Lots of hugs to all. Shuf
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