INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours

suppose to be in the upper 80s all week, then low 90s next weekend. Come here Spookie

Which One Tonight

Feeling so/so right now.

Did someone say fried oysters? I am drooling here.

Patty, hoping they will let you check out of the Ritz tomorrow. BTW, we are given tears for a reason. Usually after a good cry and as long as I don't stay too long in the "party" I throw for myself, I feel better.

Ms. Smaarty, the pic of you and your friends reminds me of the movie 'Honey, I shrunk the kids''. How did you all manage to climb up that giant chair?

Ms. Spookie, your GS is darling! Love the big round eyes. His toes look like fingers just like my younger daughter's.

Mema, the poor child! Hopefully, they will take care of the cosmetic part for her. Good thing the tumor is benign.

Ms. Sas, yuck! Cramps similar to giving birth...so sorry. Glad it's done. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25623233

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26117226

Goats, so hubby is done with the crown?

Mommy, it's the beginning of cold season. Children are back to school sharing germs.

Well, hubby is on his way to Nepal to visit friends. This country has gone through the devastation of several earthquakes. Many are still living in temporary shelters. About a week ago we heard that there is worsening political crisis and that the Nepalese government are rationing gasoline possibly because of mass demonstrations causing road blocks....great!!! He will be there for about 9 days. For those who pray, please keep him in your prayers. Thank you. It's getting late. I better go to bed.

Feeling much better today. Came home from going to see in-laws and my parents yesterday and the house was a bit chilly, had to turn on the heat. Usually we don't do that until middle of this month. Temps here got into the 40s last night

Spookie had to laugh about the temps... 68 need to break out blankies.. move some where like the equator! Hahaha 68 is our high!

Patti- hope this message finds you home, nausea free and sepsis free! Geez girl they are going to need to name a wing after you. Hope you are on the mend. Sassy- you are a trooper to with stand all the bladder stones without pain meds.. keep flushing the buggers out. Hope relief for you comes soon Wren- hope you are doing better after your surgery.

Mags- sounds like you had a great time.. funny about the knitted knockers..migrating north. That's why I stopped wearing anything and just go au-natural. The belly thing is right out of my great Granny's time.

Chevy hope your legs are behaving and you get to spend time in that garden.. winter's comin. Mommy- sooory about the cold and good luck on the next paper. Meme- hope your Bailey is recovering scary for someone so young. Loveroflif-prayer listed hubby and have prayer listed all of Nepal for months. Winter will be brutal for them. Take care of your girls while he's away. You have your Mom and relatives which is nice. Hugs to everyone I missed, can't remember all the posts.

Susan- Seriously I don't know how you do it. So many years of chemo and such a bright sunny attitude. I am humbled by your example. Sometimes I think I am crazy. My DH managed to give me the golden retriever eye of please... which I mostly escape from but can do me in. Since learning that my Her2 status flipped my new onc suggested trying Herceptin. I balked. The heart scan said output is ok. Ascites is constant and I pull off 3 liters plus a week. I have surfed the Internet to see if anyone ever chemo'd their way out of ascites and found zip. Ascites is end stage material. Onc swears if cancer is controlled then symptoms will be.. in theory or practice? I guess we shall see eh?

So About 2 weeks ago I took a 90 min infusion.. got chills during it and they needed to pack me in warmers, IV hot pack and blankets. No way I could have driven home so thankfully DH drove and took a sick day. I was sleepy and out of it and felt like I had the flu. Got home and chills started up again- piled on the blankets. Next day whooped, shaky and slept most of the day. Then things improved. DH brought home some bug and for 2 days I had N/V the big D and that further did me in. Between that, they syphon off fluid twice a week. I let home health do it. I can do it, but I have to sit up to see what I am doing and to keep all the ends sterile. I get more fluid off laying down (fluid pockets around intestines) and it is really hard to get the dressing on and the catheter curled up on the drain sponge by myself. So I feel gimpy and just gave up and let them do it. Hard on my self esteem since I have always been independent. So here it is 2 weeks in and the ascites has stayed constant 3 liters. I have taken femara for months now and it must be just holding the cancer in mild check, since my tumor markers were 600 months and months ago and only went up to 629. So it is weakly effective and they will check markers and labs in another week. I feel continually weaker and doubt anything will work.

All this has intervention has made me tired. I tried to drive up to get a script from Walgreen literally a mile away. It was dark and my vision has been severely effected by my physical state. I could not read/ focus on a single sign! They were all blurry. I made it to get my script and home but will not drive at night. I think all these fluid shifts.. it's on and off effects my vision. No point in getting new glasses since it changes. So only day time driving for me and nothing after they tap.. too shaky afterwards.

I have to share a recipe. I made DD2 a bunch of vegan/ vegetarian muffins for her to freeze and grab before class. The recipes I got off the internet. One was called "Welcome Home Muffins." WOW are they good. I made them without the pumpkin seeds, using carrots, zucchini and sweet potaoes and they are mouth watering and yummy with coffee. A vegetable bonanza of healthy ingredients and moist and yummy. Give it a try. I used whole grain unbleached white flour. DD3 and I made some organic apple muffins from our trees wow and I used left over sweet potatoes with 3 over ripe bananas in a banana bread loaf that turned out stunningly good. Happy baking. I wrote a book. Be well Ya'll!

Smarty- Yep better then a couple of weeks ago. I would give anything to have your energy level, making quilts, teaching classes and traveling.. wow. So fine and I love that you share photos of the quilts. I love seeing them!

I really should move my posts to one intitled ascites & BC. But I figure if those folks who are interested search using the word, these posts will pop. There is very little about the subject with regards to BC and not liver failure (both cancer in the liver and cirrhosis etc.). Anyway if it helps someone yay. Still in palliative mode and will stay there unless things, labs & symptoms etc change and that hasn't happened. For the record I doubt it will and am just along for the ride. :-) Aren't we all?

NO!! You made me laugh so hard, I almost choked on my lunch. And I was expecting aheart warming story!!

See, this is how I feel about my "other" friend. Carol and I were also close friends with other childhood friend..... Well, she just stopped wanting to meet us for lunch, or call us, ever! We just didn't fit into her new "feel sorry for myself" life, which she chose for herself.... We kept TRYING to "pick her up" and hang with us......

So Carol and I remained the closest friends.... lunching and laughing, and enjoying hearing about each other's lives. Every month we would meet for a special "girls lunch".. We just stayed in touch!

Now I see a message on FB.... from "other friend" asking how Carol is.... WTH? I had messaged "other friend" about 2 months ago, telling her that Carol had a stroke and was not doing very good, and couldn't speak. Never heard back.

So am I just being stubborn to think of NOT even answering her message? She CALLED us for years.... Went to lunch with us for 20 years. She could call ONE of us... and just simply ask! Carol can't talk, but someone is always at her home with her.

I think it would confuse Carol, or maybe hurt her.... because "dear friend" is also in a wheel-chair, and I ain't a-gonna tell her about Carol, because SHE would say, "yes, I've been in a wheel-chair for years.... because it's easier than walking, even though I could"" Carol CAN'T talk.... Why do I feel like such a MOTHER to her? That I don't want no-one else feeling sorry for her NOW when they couldn't even go see her in re-hab, or at her HOUSE?

When I DID ask Carol "do you want me to tell "dear friend" that you had a stroke? She just shook her head no....because it made her feel bad.... When we used to talk about Carol's trips, and her fiance' ..... "dear friend" just shook her head, and said "I don't like to travel.... and aren't you too old for a boyfriend?" It was all about HER.... she can't enjoy us talking about our lives..... and now Carol can't. So this has been bothering me, and I just wanted to throw it out there..... Should I just ignore the "message" she sent?... We have no contact with each other, because she chose to just let us go......... She has her kids, grand-kids, and I guess that's enough for her......... We went to her Husband's funeral together about 7 years ago..... but we just lost her..............

Chevy, I would ignore it I think. If she really wants to know, she can call. Only reason to answer would be to avoid talking to her and having to listen to her selfishness.

Thanks you guys.... I wake up, and think about it, and Carol, and it just makes me feel like I have to take care of Carol's feelings.... because she can't..... Besides, I'm not sure she would even "remember" her... and it would just make her more frustrated....... THANKS.... I'll just let it go.... just like SHE did us................ Love you guys.......

Chevy, might be a can of worms.

Sas happy you are feeling a bit better

Patty p, your text sounds happy again...if that makes sense...glad you are on recovery road.hugs to you my friend

Rosie, sorry about what you are going through. I think it's our choice to die from cancer or chemo. One of them will get us at our stages. I think my body is starting to fall apart from the chemo. Can't control the swelling...mine is lymphatic swelling. In stomach now too. Wanted to kick the doc last time. I said something about my stomach and he said since I had a free tram, that incision cut through a lot and is prob making lymph drainage back up. I just looked at him. Wanted to say .....ok soooooooooo what do we do. My surgery was 14 years ago. I am having a hard time blaming it on surgery. Then he told me I should loose some weight. I can fight when I have mulled things over in my head. Boxing gloves are on for this Wednesday.

Smarty, beautiful quilt....again!! Such talent

Night night all

Definately Phylllo!! Keep us posted!!! Like the whatchacalledit.