Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Perform a kind action, and you find a kind feeling growing in yourself,
even if it was not there before. As you increase the number of your
kind and charitable interests, you find that the more you do for them,
the more you love them. Serve others, not because they are your friends,
not because they are interesting, not because they are grateful. . . .
Serve them because they are the children of your Father, and therefore
are all your brethren, and you will soon find that the
fervent heart keeps time with the charitable hands.

W.B.O. Peabody

Those beach pictures look so wonderful. I told hubby yesterday that I'm ready for a return to Hawaii whenever he is. We'll see how that works out. For certain it will be after our Europe trip next year, as I'm packing money away for that trip... I've been on Xarelto for a few days now, and am quite certain that my asthma has improved. Just hangin' in there, hoping that there aren't any new and nasty side-effects to the Xarelto....

Carol, Sue, Rita - I have HMO IL, so I'm not sure what they'll pay. Glad to hear your insurance covered it.

I am doing better and have a better attitude. Think I had to get it out and release it.

Anne, that's a great idea about the $ for my BIL. Have to talk to DH about it. I do have a date in mind, the end of the year. Also, I think we're going to come up with alternatives for him. I'm going to search for a room and apartment, maybe. BIL fixed my car yesterday, new lower control arm and wiper blades.

Today, I'm setting up my jewelry show in my garage - the mini space that's left and not taken over my BIL. And, I had him look for a few things - he organized it, so he knows where things are, and he's taller. I can't wait to have my garage back to put my car in.

Sandra, the beach pics are wonderful. Water calms me too. I realize that I need a vacation - didn't go anywhere at all this year, and I'll probably have radiation treatments in Nov. and then the holidays. I'm in IL, so a sunny day in the low 60s is a treat and we had it today.

I need to go to FL or CA to visit friends or something. But, have to wait until BIL leaves.

On to The Good Wife, will check back in with you all.

Pretty day outside. Sun is out and though it is not very warm, it makes it pleasant to be out of doors. I will have a sort of long day, but I'm sure it will be fine. A little help for my friend Mickie. She needs to go out to the store and I told her I'd come get her.

Maybe lunch out -- will have to see. Also started some projects yesterday and thinking at some point to make some sort of list as what I want to do is extensive. Think I might do better if I can see check marks on things accomplished. Well, by now everyone likely knows I'm full of great ideas but even greater intentions and the last one sometimes is very slow to bear fruit. Somewhere along the way I seemed to have lost some organizational abilities --- so a list which I have resisted might just be exactly the thing.

Anyway, I feel plenty of inspiration and happiness this morning -- and that usually always gets me off to a fairly good start. Just hope some momentum can hang around too.

See you all later on today.
Blessings,
Jackie

Sandra, those beach pictures make me want to be back in Florida! There is just something soothing about the beach.

Linda, I had an IL HMO also when I went through chemo and rads and it paid very well. I hope the same is true for you. Now I have United HealthCare Medicare Avantage Program. It also does pretty good for me.

Glad you are back in FL also, Anne!

I'm off to the podiatrist this afternoon. This morning I worked two hours cleaning our large bathroom which has separate tub and shower. At least it was gratifying to see the difference between dirty and clean. After all it hadn't been cleaned in four months, considering we were gone three months this summer. I do hate house cleaning. Somebody tell me I should hire someone to clean for me. Please!

After the foot dr. appointment, I will stop off at the supermarket on the way home with a list.

DH and I both have taken a down turn in our recovery from the crud. My poor nose is sore from all the blowing and I have cold sores on the area between my nose and mouth. I have that type of herpes that manifests itself in so-called "fever blisters."

Those of you with prayer lists, please add my brother Gary who had back surgery, suffered complications that almost killed him and put him in intensive care for over a week. Now he's still in excruciating pain. I feel so bad for him. My father's brother was in a similar situation years ago and put himself out of pain with a gun. The suicide left emotional scars on the whole family.

Praying for your brother, Carole.

The rain is coming to our area. It is getting darker by the minute....we can use some, but the leaves are falling and will be hard to rake.

All limitations are self imposed.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

Yay for you too Jean -- glad you can get back to us easier.

Jackie

Carole, sorry to hear about your brother. Will add him to prayer list.

Requests to add my dh John to your prayer list too everyone. He may be diabetic, broken vertebra, bursitis, in a lot of pain and dealing with me.

Jackie, love this: "All limitations are self imposed. - Oliver Wendell Holmes"

Rough day at work today. I made some errors at work that I've made before and am being called on it. I have to start thinking of my mind and body as surviving and well, instead of "cancer brain." I feel bad for my work quality, but I'm not 100% right now. And, I'm not perfect, but I already have solutions in mind when I talk to my boss tomorrow.

I have to ask G-d for help - this is too big for me. Like everyone else, I need my job and insurance. Wish I was closer to retirement and able to do that, but I'll probably have to work longer than 65-66. (I'm going to be 61 on Sat.) It seems strange to wish I was older, so I wish I was younger and that my mind would retain more and be more open.

Maybe my depression is affected more by the cancer, I don't know. People at work now are saying like, "I know people who died from cancer, survived cancer, but ... gotta do your job." I've signed up for counseling in 2 weeks. I have to change the way I eat, add exercise, and figure out a way to stop smoking under all this stress with this dis-ease and my BIL and now my husband's been home from work sick.

Tears are building up again ... like the 4th time today. So I'm again going to cry myself to sleep.

Thanks for listening,

Linda

Carolye,

We're praying for your brother's full recovery and sending cyber hugs to you both.

Carole- prayers and hugs for you and your brother and the whole family.

Linda- I am in awe of you even being aBle to work thru treatment. I waS a wet noodle most of the time. I didn't drive a car from the time I started chemo until I recovered from surgery six months later. My DD and her husband took very good care of me. If I had an appt on a day he had off ( his work schedule changes week to week), he would take me to it, and if it meant he saw me topless, we were both okay with that. Also, Puffin had excellent advice, but have you thought of lessening your workload for a while? I believe your company has to accommodate any limitations you may have, because of the Disabity Act. I am not sure what type of work you do, but could some of it be done by others temporarily? Just a thought.

I have been very sad this week. A very good friend passed away very suddenly from a massive heart attack. They had just gotten back from 3 weeks in the Canary Islands just outside Spain. Other than cruises, they had never left the country before. Their younger son had met a girl there when he wAs in the military and they got married in a civil ceremony, always planning to go back to Spain for a full, traditional, church wedding someday. Ten years later they finally got to do that. We have all been following their trip on Facebook and it looked like they were having a fabulous time. I have met his wife, and if she is any indication, her family welcomed Bill and Carol and left no stone unturned to give them the vacation of a life time. Carol's only other dream was to be a grandmother. Her granddaughter will celebrate her first birthday the day Carol is buried. They now live in Orlando. I will not be able to go to the funeral but will be in Orlando in a few weeks to celebrate my brother's 60th birthday and I will go over to see them while I am there. Such a jarring reminder that we have no clue when our time will be up, so we better make sure we use the time we have to it's fullest, whatever that is to each of us.

Wishing all of you a day filled with good things,

Ann

Carole, so sorry to hear that your brother has been having a hard time of it. I will certainly add him to my list or prayers.

Ann, it is so sad to lose a friend. I am glad that she got to have such a wonderful vacation before she left us. I'm sure she was very lucky to have you for a friend.

The past three days have been very gray and dismal around here. You would think that I would take the opportunity to get some of the things done that need to be done in this house but the dismal weather has the opposite effect on me. I can't get motivated to do anything. I really do need the sunshine to get me going.

Oh Linda, I wish I was closer. I'd give you giant hugs to help you deal with all the things that you are trying to deal with right now. Puffin has given you good advice. Since it is so hard to multi-task when going through the treatments, take one thing at a time and just recheck your work. Hey, I still have trouble multi-tasking but it gets better with time. I always find that physical activity helps keep my mind sharper. Guess if we get up and move we get that blood flowing better to the brain. :-) Hang in there! You are going through a depressing and scary time but you can get through it if you just take one day at a time.

I guess I will just give up trying to be productive and grab a good book and escape! :-)

Gosh, it is always something isn't it ????

Linda, I really liked that suggestion of doing only those REALLY have to things and hopefully then being able to have a deep focus on getting them done and in good shape when finished. Probably I would do better even -- so I hope you can take a couple of suggestions like that to heart. Also, Puffin with the Live Strong YMCA if there is one close enough to you. You have a lot on your plate --- and some just has to go on I know --- so easy for someone to tell you things, but I do think during this time --- things that will help you get back to you -- and therefore be better towards every one around you at some point really should be considered.

I hate to tell you ---- I'm still working at 70 because the rug does go out from under you when there is a BIG illness. I didn't expect to be 'broke' for my old age, but I'm trying to wear it like my Sunday best. In fairness to you though I might add --- I only work part time. Not sure how Dh and I would make it though if I didn't. No time for you to laugh about it now, but after I got MUCH better I've usually said something --- like, I have it all figured out -- I can retire about two weeks before I shuffle off to the employer in the sky.

I'm ok actually because I don't really work hard ( take care of a lady who is 99 ) and her people ( SIL is a Dr. and daughter ) are some of the easiest people I've ever worked for. They never complain and if they know I need something ( I've been careful now for a good while with what I say ) they will go somewhere in the house and come back with a $100.00 bill -- it is not to be paid back -- it is a gift of help and that's that. Sometimes they take a few days off and I stay at their house and take care of my little lady and the two sweet dogs until they return. I'm paid the same amt. while I'm sleeping as I'm paid the rest of the time --- so believe me, I don't make a ton of money ( unless they go away ) but the conditions for a 70 yr. old make it easy on me.

Anne, nothing to say but express my sorrow at the loss of your friend. You are so very, very right --- we don't know the appointed day or hour. I'm so glad that not only the trip was possible but the great little grandbaby. Of course, me being me, I would say the Universe KNEW her desires and found a way to grant them. I'm glad you will be able to share some time with the rest of your friend's family.

See you all later.

Blessings

Jackie

Anne, I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. But it sounds like they had a wonderful adventure before. It's so hard to lose a friend or family member. I'm glad you'll be able to spend some time in FL with the family.

To clarify, I have NOT had chemo, don't need it, and I haven't even started radiation yet. My next step is to see the RO.

There's a cancer program offering counseling, yoga and massage. I left the form with my Dr. yesterday to approve. I'll check with the Y to see. Free is good (just got the new mortgage tax bill and of course, there's an escrow shortage). I'm not one for exercise, I have arthritis and COPD, but I'll try it. I know I have to eat better too and stop smoking.

I'm meeting with my boss today to show him a new checklist I created to check my work. Focus is my new expression for "Fuck off cancer, you suck". and will be my keyword. On on hand work people say they hope I'm recovering and support me, but they're also saying my work isn't up to par and it needs to be error-free (on what planet). Maybe there are Disability Laws, but I can't afford to be unpaid, being the main breadwinner in the family.

Today I can do this.

My surgeon told me she's very proud of me; that I'm healing well and I've handled this with dignity, grace and a positive attitude. So, that makes me feel good (and after I left I cried, of course). She also told me to take some time for me and to rest so last night I did really go to sleep at 9pm and today I feel well rested.

Jackie, I agree that the Universe knew her wishes. I am listening to a Dr. Wayne Dyer CD set and I heard more about how our thoughts can be limiting and it clicked with me. If I believe I am limitless in my mind, with G-d help, I can focus and do what I need to do. He said it better.

ChiSandy - I do want to cherish each moment and look for the good things. Gotta start journaling and my positive list again.

I accept all of your hugs and prayers. I am a survivor and maybe I forget that sometimes.

Will let you all know the rest of the saga later.

Linda