INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours
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Almost 5 months post mastectomy and I have the feeling everything should be ok, but just isn't. In some ways (I think my stats are listed below) I'm one of the lucky ones, but I'm facing some depression and anxiety, the latter feeling like PTSD sometimes. I feel like I can't get on with my life because I'm always looking for my next battle or something. Is this common?
I also have lots of anger. This could be partially or wholly from my tamoxifen-induced menopause. The Blue Cross phone agents have been on the receiving end a lot lately, in what I like to refer to as "The Battle of The Boob". I live in a very remote part of my state, and the closest place for me to get fitted for my prosthesis was 2-1/2 hrs away and in another state. There were two boutiques given me for referrals from my surgeons office, and I chose the first. Not having had any experience with insurance prior to this year (and having been told by my surgeon that breast prostheses are covered by insurance) I did not know that the boutique must be in their "network"; I trusted the salesperson from the boutique I chose to guide me as she assured me she would, assuring me that my Blue Cross would cover my new prosthesis & bras after the claim was processed. I had to pay up front of course, first, $380. As I paid I asked her "Are you sure I don't need to contact Blue Cross?" No, she had it covered. Naive me, but I didn't know what I didn't know, and I also made an assumption also that the woman at the boutique that I just showed my scar to would not victimize me for her profit. I cannot even get reimbursed because I had to sign forms there to get my prosthesis. Now I have to pay full price as I have not met my deductible this year. When I called the saleslady to express my disappointment & anger she just said "you must not have very good insurance- is it a family plan?" I'm thinking she knew what she was doing, but now I have no recourse except to leave a scathing online review of her Spokane boutique. I guess I'm looking for suggestions if anyone has them...
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Mommyof2 - Yeah, a B is great. You worked for it and should be pleased with yourself. You may have said somewhere prior, but I don't remember, so what is your major? I've only taken 2 online classes and like Wren said, they are very tough.
Susan - Thanks. I hope your chemo week isn't too tough on you.
PhoebeLee - If the store wasn't so far away I'd say return the items, then call Blue Cross and have them tell you which stores ARE in network. Also, I think that if you really believe that the lady at the store you went to was somehow deceptive in her sales tactics, maybe reporting her to the Better Business Bureau or calling the Attorney General of your state will give you some help. That sales lady had an obligation to make sure all the paperwork is taken care of. Especially if that store deals with different insurances regularly. Every insurance company has different rules that a store owner must be aware of.
Also, check with CancerCare.org, they have a 1 time $300.00 grant for individuals needing help with the cost of mastectomy supplies, compression sleeves or transportation for cancer treatment. The application is on their website. I went through them a couple years ago when I needed to get a compression sleeve.
Don't be so hard on yourself, it's only been 5 months. Everyone is different in how they deal with the changes we experience in this journey. Plus the hormonal therapy is gonna mess with you too. Be kind to yourself.
Smaarty - Evie has such a cute little nose and cheeks. The whale spout is adorable too.
Hey there Shep, WenchLori and Loverly. I hope your week has started out well.
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Susan ~ Our furbabies always know where the comfiest seats in the house are. Naughty Shelby for not sharing! Hopefully she'll be more generous to you this week so you can both enjoy a cozy spot in the screen porch. May your treatments go well and your recovery time to be quick
Sas ~ Hope you were able to work out the IRS stuff. Were you able to make the ticket go away? Awesome Chewbacca mask! If that were me, I so would have worn it to pick up the kids from school, work, friends houses.....
Queenie ~ NED! Hooray!!!!
Smaarty ~ Lovin' the Evie photos! Is she staying pox free? Yay another baby! Pics of the Peter Rabbit quilt please!
Sensi ~ Happy healing to you
Purple ~ Have you been feeling any better? Hoping all went well with your MRI. Bone mets suck
Lookie ~ Pretty, pretty garden pics! Your swing looks like the perfect place to nap or read. Cute pup and matching toy
Loverly ~ Did the day warm up for DD2's swim meet? Hope she did well and that it was a fun time for all. The alligator in those pics I posted has eaten all the ducks, fish and turtles in that pond and has moved into the one behind my house. Coastal South Carolina has lots of 'gators. Every now and then one will get confused and end up on the beach. I think they are neat. I don't think it is neat that this ten footer is so close to my place. My yard is fenced with a gate that opens to a path to the pond. It is wooded and mushy - the gator could possibly wander over here. Right now he is more interested in the little chihuahuas across the way. Pris needs to stay on this side of the fence and not go exploring!
M0mmyof2 ~ Good grades and working on your degree - cool beans! Jazzy is mean! Don't take any BS!!!!
WenchLori ~ When will your pool be ready? What a nice way to spend the summer!
Wren ~ Such sage advice on that bumper sticker! Drug ads, grrrr. Drug reps, bigger grrrrr. We call them prostitutes. They're really bad here, showing up with gifts and meals. And take time away from patients waiting to be seen. No ads and no whores would save sooo much $$.
Jazzy ~ Did you ever decide on the patio furniture? I've never seen Poltergeist.....how scary was it? And where do we shop for the house boys?
JWoo ~ Hope your BF heals quickly and your stress eases off so you can enjoy the summer and be rested for your recon.
JunieB ~ I cannot believe that woman was so awful to you! Wow. I would like to think I would have put her in her place. In reality, I would probably be too shocked. I hope she isn't someone you have to see often. (still shaking my head) If Karma doesn't get her, those fluoride supplements will! I like your serenity prayer. My fear of God and the law has saved many deserving folks from violent ends
Thank you for posting the info about the Medicare "experiment". That is just insane! I just read that the AARP was supporting it. So many people will suffer..... I wonder if there are any protest movements? Mags ~ Such pretty roses!
Myra ~ Hello!
Hope everyone has a peaceful, pain free, care free nite
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The class that just ended was in a classroom. As for where I am thinking of going for my Bachelor's, I have been looking going online at Southern New Hampshire Univ. My major at the community college level was General Studies, but if I do go online at SNHU, I was thinking of majoring in History with a concentration in American History.
I agree that online classes are hard. You never know what the instructor expects or how they teach
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Phoebe- welcome to our thread friend and sorry for the troubles. I think the feelings of anger, sadness, waiting for the next thing to happen are all certainly common for any of us after treatment. My biggest challenge right after treatment was going to every 6 month follow up, being sure the cancer was back. No symptoms, just fearful it had come back.
No one really prepares us for how we will feel after all this. You get diagnosed, dragged through a lot of tests very quickly, and right into treatment without the chance to really absorb much of anything. I was kind of numb going through most everything, pretty much shut down emotionally during that whole time. But later, things came out. There were tears, I would get irrationally upset about things that never bothered me before, etc. If you need help with your depression, don't hesitate to reach out for counseling support. Many women here do and it helps.
I don't have any advice about the prosthetic shop outside of the fact she sounds incompetent. Sometimes things can be paid for up front and reimbursed by insurance, but it sounds like you lost that option. If you cannot return the item, I would write up a bad review on Yelp and contact the BBB. She sounded like someone who just wanted payment quickly. Not everyone is ethical, including the cancer business. I am sorry you had this experience. Hugs sister.
Shep- I did decide on the custom patio set and hoping to go in to get the order going in the next week or so. Waiting to get an invoice paid from my client and some taxes out of the way. I did shop around and never found anything better than the custom set. I told myself I could have it, but once I had business taken care of first on the quarterly tax front. First things first! If I order it soon, I should have it by July.
I worked at home yesterday but today must go in to my client site. Wishing everyone a good Tuesday!
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Hi all, I can't keep up with you so sorry if I don't! I have been running around like a crazy person getting scanned and poked and prodded. Bottom line is that the neuro onc NP I saw ran through my brain MRI and said it was clear and she looked at the spine MRI and couldn't be sure but said she didn't *think* it *looks* like LMD. Did spinal tap, almost passed out. It will be a few days for those results and may have to repeat (apparently it takes 3-4 spinal taps to be sure if clear)... Been eating a lot of ice cream and watching documentaries in the meantime to try to stay sane. Headachy today so will be taking it EASY. Hope you are all well!!!!
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M0mmy, my DH does the online classes at SNHU. He's gotten 3 associates degrees and is getting his masters in business. He says its a great program.
Loving all the beautiful flowers! Wish I had some to post also...
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skep, I will get the Peter rabbit quilt done next month at a sewing retreat in Tahoe. Several projects to work on but that ones first.
Phoebe, welcome, sorry that you e joined us and the BC club. Ask your ins agent where you were suppose to get them. You might be able to file an appeal if the store that is covered is further away or hard to get to.
Hi purple, be sure to take it easy, and lots of ice cream!
Lover, where are you? Lunch soon? Maybe Sensi can join us this time.
Sensi, how you feeling? Started driving again?
Bbl
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Thanks Lori.
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purple, yuck spinal tap. Hugs your way
Morning all. Actually ran 1 mile today, before chemo. Used to be a runner. Had lung issues from previous chemo but last summer it opened up and started working good again. So I tried to run this morning and made it a mile. Yeahhhhh me. Trying to get my aerobic energy back so I can chase a toddler
Have a blessed day, and pain free
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Smaart-drove for the first time yesterday, my chest is feeling it today! Did feel good to be behind the wheel.
Also finally called your DGS, he's going to come out for the lawns, after he gets back from his trip in June 😉.
General question ladies. I know I had the 10lb weight restriction the first two weeks. When would you recommend normal things like vacuuming? Everyone I read says hold off, because still healing. (Ha, maybe it's my excuse not to vacuum). Also once I go back to work, I'll have a med cart (50lbs + and wheel chairs to push). Do I need to worry about weight restrictions after 6 weeks
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You are very welcome M0mmy!
Susan, a mile? Awesome! Icouldn't even run 10 feet before needing a rest!
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Wow, Susan, that is awesome that you are running. You go girl!
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Good Morning!
Just a quick stop by to share a pic of my Tiger Lilys last Friday
Ack....two year olds! As soon as she saw the camera, Pris started pouncing on all the flowers. It was her birthday so I let her enjoy herself.
To the left of Her Royal Prisness is one of my two blueberry bushes. The blossoms have turned to berries. Just have to wait for them to ripen now. I need to put the cushions on the seats so I can be comfy while I pick 'em!
See what I did there FeelingFeline? I snuck in kitty pics under the pretense of gardening! Can't let this place go totally to the dogs ;-)
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such cute cat pics
Sensi, I am sorry...I don't remember. My surgery was 15 years ago. I just know it took awhile. Be good to yourself :
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Sensi, I'd say about 4 weeks, depends on what doc says and how you feel. When do you see your doc again?
Pris is very pretty, and so are the flowers.
Here's my nephew and the newest member to our family. Since he's 40 and I think she's 34 there will be at least one kid before too long.
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Beautiful couple Smaarty.
Pretty kitty and beautiful lilies shepkitty!
I took Mom to shop for tomatoes and peppers and ended up coming home with two beautiful hanging baskets. One is of many different flowers and the other is a Cashmere plant. Never heard of one before but very pretty. I'm not able to add pictures at this time but I will in the morning
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beautiful wedding pic !!!
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Susan, have the kids moved yet? When do you go back to see Elena?
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Shep - Tiger Lily's are pretty and Miss Pris is the perfect compliment to them.
Smaarty - Beautiful wedding pic.
Susan - How did you feel after your run? Energized or pooped?
Wenchlori - I googled pics of a cashmir plant. They have very pretty lavender colored blooms.
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Mommy WELL DONE YOU
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Wishing everyone a most excellent Towel Day!
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Shep- that is one of my favorite books, I have all the stories in one massive book.
Nothing like reading that when you are on a vacation! Just remember if you encounter a Vogon, to never let it read you poetry! Those who have read these books will understand the reference to the Vogons.
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M0mmy ~ A scholar and a hoopy frood! You ARE cool
Tallahassee, Fla is having a Vogon Poetry Slam tonight: http://www.loftypursuits.com/node/5625 "All poems must meet 1986 minivan safety standards. Do not taunt poems." The cut-off for online entries was last night The winners will be posted on YouTube later when all have recovered from the trauma. I live in a beach town, but alas, no local festivities are occurring. Although no one will give me a scecond glance if I go out carrying my towel!0 -
Hang on Jazzy! Help is on the way!
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What a week and it's only Wednesday! It's always nice to have quiet time to chat.
Minion, here's hoping it's not LMD. How are you today? Can't imagine the headache!! Gentle hugs.
Susan, wow!!! One mile run??? Good for you. May you have minimal side effects with this round of chemo.
Evie is so cute!! She looks like she could be related to Alfafa minus the freckles.
Sensi, be careful with carrying anything heavy for awhile. Seven weeks post MX, I tried to vacuum the stairs and developed cording a few days later. Cording is painful and put you at risk for lymphedema. A lady from BCO with whom I used to exchange PM also had cording from hauling a bag of gardening soil six months after MX.
ShepK, it was a bit chilly and windy towards the end of the meet, but DD2 had fun. Thank you for asking. She has a new coach this season and she really likes him. This past meet was her first long course meet This year. It will give her baseline time. We will see how much she improves with her new coach. Her previous coach didn't challenge her much and she was getting discouraged because she was not improving.
Pris is so pretty. NO, we don't want her anywhere near the alligator!!! How scary. And of course, we need to remember Feline too....can't dominate the thread with the canines.
Good job Mommy!
Lori, saw the hanging baskets on W&F thread. Beautiful!! Well, almost all flowers are beautiful.
Hi JunieB, HiHo, Ms. Wren, Kathi, Mags, Ms. Sas, Jazzy, and my lurking friends.
DD1 has HSgraduating ceremony tonight and I'm again in the middle of siblings'(mine) and sister-in-law conflict. Wish me luck. Being a peace maker is SO hard. Why is relationships so difficult?? Never mind. I know the answer.
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