Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Anne, your brother might offer his services to a local paint, home improvement or furniture store as a freelance decor advisor--or at least make and post a business card on the bulletin boards of stores. Worst that can happen is he’s out the cost of a packet of business-card paper and an ink cartridge. He could even start a blog and invite questions and offer advice. My housekeeper decided to take her similar talent and parlayed it into a side career as an event-decorator.
Hoping the wedding will be wonderful!
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It need not discourage us if we are full of doubts. Healthy
questions keep faith dynamic. In fact, unless we start
with doubts we cannot have a deep-rooted faith. One who
believes lightly and unthinkingly has not much of a belief.
One who has a faith which is not to be shaken has won it
through blood and tears--has worked his or her way from
doubt to truth as one who reaches a clearing through
a thicket of brambles and thorns.
Helen Keller0 -
Good morning,
Wow, Anne, it is time for a nap. I hope your brother stays a while with you too. Sandy had a great idea --- if your brother is open. He could in fact, do it on the side while looking for work he might find suitable. I think I have mentioned that two of my "jobs" kept me going for 18 consecutive yrs. I was only going to do them for a few months while I decided what I REALLY wanted to do. Sometimes ( not that either job was my heart's desire ) just doing what you can do rather than what you feel you "should" do can pay off in ways that become enough for you. Your brother logically ( I think, as who knows these days ) only likely has about 10 yrs. left to work --- wonderful if he could parlay something he is skilled with into an adequate source to finish out those last working yrs..
Hot here but we will survive. Finally got to the Podiatrist. Got the appt. very quickly and will be glad to get it done. I'm about 6 mos. overdue, but thinking it should be fine. The nice part about the mix-up is that you have to have an exact yr. in between mammo's so from now on I'll be scheduled in a part of the yr. that overall should be more suitable for me. December around here can have some travel issues -- so I'm thrilled about that part.
Been a bit quiet around here -- I think everyone is jumping into summer. So --- saying hi to all. Linda, Joan, Sandy, Sandra, Chevy, Carole, Puffin Mom, Minus, and all of you --- he heat has got me and my brain just won't allow me to keep thinking -- ah Wren, you name just came to me but I know I've forgotten a lot. Forgive me. Hope you are all going to have a wonderful day.
Jackie
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Sandra, sorry to hear about the blood tests and hope things will turn around for Mike. You two have been through so much.
Anne, you will have to keep us posted about the wedding and your brother.
Sandy, I know what you mean about the mag cit !!! I had 2/3 of my colon removed years ago.....enough said. This won't prevent leg cramps (I get them, too) but certainly will help. I was in a restaurant a few years ago and a gentleman sitting near me had a leg cramp. It must have been severe because he made quite a fuss. His wife strongly suggested that he rub it, but a waitress said to grab and pinch the upper lip. It worked for him, so I tried it. It really does work.
Ohio
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It has no scientific support, but I read the below bar soap relief sometime ago on another thread, and tried. It seems to work for me for night leg crams.
[a bar of soap placed somewhere near your feet -- like under the bottom sheet or between the bottom and top sheet -- gives many people relief from leg cramps, although no one has yet to come up with a scientific reason for it. Here are a couple of articles I just pulled up for you. If you suffer from night leg cramps, which many of us taking Ibrance do, it's probably worth a try to see if it helps you. It works for me even with a hotel-size bar, which is what I use.
http://www.peoplespharmacy.com/2012/07/22/why-does...
http://www.keyingredient.com/recipes/32879386/stup... ]0 -
I have dozens of hotel soaps, so I’ll try this. Last night, upon arriving home from a late gig, while I was preparing dinner, my left hand suddenly seized up, fingers cramping into a tight “claw.” Never had this kind of dystonia before in my hand--once, a tibial cramp made my foot dorsiflex and big toe flail upward and away from my other toes. I was able to take my right hand (which has intermittent trigger thumb) and separate the left hand fingers, massaging them to boot. And after finishing my food (on an empty stomach) and a few sips of wine, I had the worst bilateral parotid gland spasms--extremely sharp & painful, like I imagine mumps must feel (I had the shot, so I never caught that disease). That lasted nearly 10 minutes. I’ve had that symptom for over 40 years (runs in my family), but never longer than a couple of pangs for about a minute.
I suspect this--at least the hand dystonia--is yet another charming feature of AIs. Gee thanks, letrozole.
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The problem, often not discovered until late in life, is that when you look for things in life like love, meaning, motivation, it implies they are sitting behind a tree or under a rock. The most successful people in life recognize, that in life they create their own love, they manufacture their own meaning, they generate their own motivation. For me, I am driven by two main philosophies: know more today about the world than I knew yesterday, and lessen the suffering of others. You'd be surprised how far that gets you.
Neil deGrasse Tyson0 -
Hi to everyone from northern MN. I have been reading posts and keeping up but not on a daily basis. I, too, am very sorry to hear about Mike's health and hope that his outlook starts to improve. Puffin, it goes without saying that you are going through a very difficult period in your life having to adjust to loss of your partner. And the loss was so sudden. I feel deep sympathy.
I have plane reservations for a trip home to Louisiana on July 12 and will stay two weeks, solely for the purpose of spending time with my mother (93 yrs old) and giving my sister some relief from the daily visits to the nursing home. It is looking doubtful that my mother will be able to live alone at her home even though she has made great progress in the rehab program. She is not a candidate for assisted living plus could not afford the out of pocket expense. The nice nursing home near my home has a two year waiting list.
DH and I have dealt with some challenges in our role as managers of Pine Hollow Resort and enforcers of rules, mainly guest fees and observing "quiet time" hours after 10 pm. Fortunately, most of the seasonals are here only on weekends and the several disgruntled couples are threatening/promising to move elsewhere at the end of this summer. One couple has already moved out without payment for the time they were here this spring. We were very happy to see them go as an example of "good riddance." The man was extremely inconsiderate.
Best wishes to everyone in dealing with problems and health issues.
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Beautiful morning here, but oh it will be a scorcher. Not actually looking forward to that. I have noted that my car with the dusky blue color seems to help heat radiate inward. I got a screen for the windshield and will see if that helps. It should, and surely will keep the steering wheel and other parts of the car you touch -- like the gear shift from getting so uncomfortable to handle.
Carole, sure glad you checked in. Been wondering how things were going. Sad that your Mom will not be able to live alone, but if the 'right' person showed up they could live in her home with her. I admit that probably isn't going to happen. I did want to put it out there though --- as if there were such a person I'd hate to see them over-looked because everyone thought it impossible.
It is challenging to be a "manager". Dh and I had a stint of that and it was ok most of the time, but I'll never forget the night one of the tenants ( a female ) came running to our ( we rented small houses all together in a little square area ) unit with blood pouring from the back of her head. The boyfriend, recently out of prison ( why do people take these men back ) was trying to kill her she said. He was on drugs and shortly thereafter he ran into our unit too. I looked at him and then my husband and told him to call the police -- right now. They boyfriend wavered momentarily, but knowing how it would look chose to escape and left --- went somewhere and nearly od'ed while we helped the woman. So, there are always things that come and there are as you say plenty of challenges. I bet the 'owners' of the place think you are the best thing since the discovery of electricity to come along for them.
See you all later -- waving hi to all.
Jackie
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What a difference a day (and a cool front) makes. Yesterday we topped 90, right now it’s 63! (I got to wear my pre-breast-cancer shorts for all of one day--back into jeans and long sleeves today).
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Hi, I'm very new to all this, having just been diagnosed with IDC 3 weeks ago. I'm just starting on the path for myself, but walked it with my older sister whom I lost in October from stage IV breast cancer. I'm 64 and my sister was 72. She was diagnosed at 68. It's hard to stay totally positive having just lost someone such a short time ago. I'm still trying to get all my test results so we can put a plan in place. Frustrated because genetics results will take 3 more weeks. It's so great to have this thread with others who are so supportive and have both questions and answers about bc. Thanks to everyone.
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Welcome, DaraB, to the sorority nobody wants to pledge--but we’re all here for you. It’d be much easier to offer guidance and answer your questions if you post your profile (diagnosis date, tumor size and grade, hormone/HER2 status--it should be in your biopsy path report)--make sure you click on “make public” so we can see it.
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Dara B,
Welcome as well from me. As we all are, sorry you have need of us. Wish we didn't have to meet this way. I think many of us have kept our sanity by finding this wonderful group of women to share and spend time with. I'm so sorry you lost your sister. I can see that puts more of a burden on you with your own diagnosis. We are all different though and your outcome comparatively speaking may and likely will turn out totally different. I sure hope and pray it does.
Our group here is a bit smaller, but anything you do to attain some knowledge and comfort as you start down this path should help you. We talk about anything and everything here and sometimes even cancer. We hope we can be a resource for you. Keeping you in thought. Hope you come often and stay late.
Blessings,
Jackie
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Thanks, ChiSandy. I just found settings and made my profile public. Unfortunately, my local radiologist "forgot" to order a number of tests for my biopsy, so I'm still awaiting new results from City of Hope -- i.e. HER2 and hormone receptors etc. I'm expecting to get more info this week. Looking forward to participating with this forum.
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Dara, City of Hope knows its stuff, so you will get an answer soon. In Riverside, did you go to Loma Linda (or one of its affiliates) for your biopsy? If the radiologist “forgot” to order histology, that would surprise me because not only isn’t that up to Loma Linda’s standards but it is also below standard-of-care in general. I can’t understand how a pathologist would just say “invasive ductal carcinoma” and the estimated size (you can’t know the latter, or the stage. till after surgery) without giving at least the grade and ER/PR status. (HER-2 might take two or more different tests to definitively determine--mine was originally 1+, still considered negative, on IHC, so a FISH assay was ordered to confirm that). That information is basic and shouldn’t have to be “requested” or ordered by the radiologist. I would question the competence of not just the radiologist but also the pathologist.
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No, it wasn't Loma Linda. I've used LL for a number of joint replacements and joint surgeries (3 hip replacements, a knee replacement, and foot reconstruction!) and they are thorough in all their work. The biopsy was done at the local hospital and no one can figure out why protocols weren't followed. CoH requested the original slides and should have performed those tests by my next appointment. I'd had a mammogram in Feb at the same hospital which was clear, but now I'm wondering even about that. It's why I took charge and called City of Hope myself and they got me right in. I can't say enough about the care and attention I've gotten at CoH and the confidence I now feel. The original path report simply said Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, well defined, 14 mm in size. The surgeon says she believes the tumor is about 2 cm. Just goes to show that you really have to seek out the best care, and not just accept any information. I'm researching like crazy and being my own advocate.
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Welcome DaraB. Sounds like you're on track now with people who know what they're doing. I'm sorry for the extra anxiety you must feel after having lost your sister to this disease. I think you'll feel better once you have more specifics and can research what applies to you in particular.
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Wren44 and Teka, I so appreciate the support and kindness of all of you. I thought I was so aware of the process having gone through it with my sister, but I'm quickly learning just how little I really know. I'll see an entry here and then dig deeper into what it all means. Thank you again to all. This site is just phenomenal!
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"Before" and "after" for me was not just before my mother's illness and after her death.It was the dividing line between seeing the world in black and white, and in Technicolor.The lights came on, for the darkest possible reason.And I went back to school and I looked around at all the kids I knew who found it kind of a drag and who weren't sure if they could really hack it and who thought life was a bummer.And I knew that I had undergone a sea change.Because I was never again going to be able to see life as anything except a great gift. - Anna Quindlen
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Welcome Dara, and so sorry for the loss of your sister.
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Hi everyone,
The wedding is over! It was incredible, and the reception had some very unusual elements. There was a green "tree" on one of the walls that had cards with everyone's name on them saying things like "Anne, we are so thankful to have you in our lives" or "Tracy, your hair looks great tonight". On the backs of the cards was your table number. That idea was quite cool, but the table numbers again confused us. I was at table 97, and the cousins were at table 9 1/2. We knew that they weren't having 97 tables, and who ever had a table with a fraction in its number? When we got to the tables, there was a picture frame, explaining the number. Our table said "97 is the number of hours Tim has spent watching the Waltons, Days of our Lives and Touched by an Angel". They were my favorite Tv shows when he as little and I still watch Days every day. The 9 1/2 was the number of fingers Tim has. He cut the top of one off in a dough machine years ago- 36 hours before his brother's wedding.
When Rob gave the best man toast, he started by saying he was just going to repeat Tim's toast to him- "He plays great basketball and I love him". That was the whole toast. Then Rob gave a very nice toast. They had asked for song requests and I had requested 2: " Could I have this Dance for the Rest of my Life?" That wasn't out wedding song, but became "our" song many many years ago. I have that song on my playlist and have heard it hundreds of times since he past. I am also not a crier. I danced with my brother to it and cried like a baby. When it finished, my older DD was a mess, and she said Rob had to leave the room. I had no idea that was going to happen. The other song I picked was "The Iris Wedding song" which had nothing to do with my being Irish. It is just a beautiful song about wishing this couple a lifetime of happiness and strength to get through the tough times.
The only downside to the whole reception was that other than the two songs I requested, there were no slow or romantic songs. After dinner was over, I spent a lot of time outside the reception room, holding baby Alexandria. It was a wonderful wedding. They really are two very special people. I pray they stay together for life.
It was a wonderful weekend, but my poor body is beyond tired. It started with all of my family meeting up for dinner at a local restaurant. "My" family was my 5 kids and 7 grandchildren and my my brother's girlfriend and 2 of his 3 kids and their significant others and one 5 yr old grandaughter. Neither of my other two siblings were there. Friday, my brother and his crew went to visit our 97 yr old Aunt for lunch, then came back to my house for a catered buffet, along with a few other friends. Saturday was the wedding and reception, then last night I met with my brother's crew for a final dinner before they all flew home today. I was napping wh n my brother moved back in. He will be leaving sometime this week, and I really dread it. He is such a funny, easy going guy that makes me feel very safe, without the drama of my kids.
Think that is enough for now.
Anne
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Here's a picture of the happy couple
Anne
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well, just got my call from the surgeon. Looks like surgery will be this Thursday. MRI results look very promising. Tumor markers show estrogen +, HER2-. I'm pretty sure I'll opt for lumpectomy and radiation. From all the posts and my research, it sounds like a mastectomy isn't really any better and is so invasive. Anyone who can recommend questions or concerns I should pose, please let me know. I'll see surgeon on Wed, then surgery next day
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When your breast is gone, it’s gone. And as many here can attest, it may lower the odds of recurrence but never eliminate them; and it isn’t always a guarantee of no radiation. It can be reconstructed--but that’s either a long painful process with tissue expanders being placed and then gradually enlarged over multiple office visit before a second surgery is performed to insert the actual implant (except for some women who can get immediate implants before the mastectomy incisions are closed), or a much longer surgery when the reconstructions are made using your own tissue from elsewhere on your body. This latter surgery could be done in the OR immediately following mastectomy, which two combined operations would have you under both the knife and general anesthesia for 7 hours--or a subsequent surgery lasting not much shorter. No matter how skillful the reconstructions, they will never feel like your real breasts. Symmetry isn’t guaranteed.
I chose lumpectomy + radiation as the best combination of odds and not burning bridges before I get to them. It was a quick surgery from which to recover: same day discharge, no drains, and resumed my full regular activities within two weeks--with only a few days’ initial downtime (said “downtime” permitting me to go out to dinner the next evening, take strolls by day 3, drive by day 4 and grocery-shop by day 5). No visiting nurses or home health care visits necessary. Not even any opioids.
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Welcome, Dara, and best of luck with your surgery and recovery.
Anne, I enjoyed your account of the wedding and reception and festivities. What a beautiful bride and handsome bridegroom! Now you can get some rest. Too bad your brother can't stay longer at your house.
I'm sitting here working up the energy to go take a shower. DH and I went bike riding today and rode 20 miles. I was pedaling slowly the last couple of miles! We had lunch at a nice little restaurant and even indulged in ice cream desserts. Then grocery shopping. I still have some canned goods to put away.
Hope everyone else had a good Monday.
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I don't have any questions as it has been so long since I had my surgery but I had a lumpectomy with no regret. In fact, since my tumors ( yes there was an extra found when the first one was being taken ) were on he left side and I am weak on that side from a stroke, I found it such a bonus that none of the tendons, muscles or anything else underwent any disturbance. My Dr. told me at the time that many Dr.'s were switching to breast/tissue sparing surgery since evidences proved it would not made a difference in outcome. So, I am basically ( bodily speaking ) the same today as I was the morning of my lumpectomy. Only a small puckered area that bothers me not at all.
I'm so glad it all sounds so well for you. I might add --- I had almost no pain at all and never took any pain pills at all after the lumpectomy but I tend to have good pain tolerance I guess --- and I have always said I do well with so much because I sleep well so I heal quickly.
We will all be thinking of you Thurs. and wishing you VERY well. Count on it.
Jackie
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Beautiful picture of the couple Anne!! I would love to know how you got out of hosting the Rehearsal Dinner....lol. We have 4 sons so we got to plan and host all of them and in 3 out of 4 the dinner was almost as large as the wedding! Hope you'll show more pictures of the evening.
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Thanks Sandy for the info. I realize there are no guarantees and I have yet to get my genetics tests back, but they won't be available until about mid July. My surgeon had a cancellation and I just really want to get on with my life. These posts have been so helpful to see both the options and experiences. Surgery will be on outpatient basis, and I'm feeling very optimistic. I know things may change when they get in, but I think it will all be OK. I will also do radiation and oral estrogen blockers after. Hopefully no full chemo. Thanks again, Dara
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At my initial appt. with my surgeon, nobody asked about my ethnicity, just family history (which was clear). I had my lumpectomy and then my 2-week followup with her and initial MO appt., where she agreed to order the OncotypeDX test. The MO then asked me, “oh, by the way, you don’t happen to be Ashkenazi Jewish, do you?” When I said yes, she replied that even though I was older at diagnosis and had no family history, simply by virtue of my ethnicity and diagnosis she was referring me for genetic counseling & possibly testing--since whether I would be going forward with radiation, or getting a prophy bmx would depend on the result. (Reconstructing an irradiated breast cannot be done with implants, only with one’s own tissue). It took two nerve-wracking weeks to get the genetic tests results back--all negative for mutations, so we proceeded with radiation. Got my ODX score in before the genetic results, so I knew I wouldn’t be getting chemo.
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Because I have so many first relatives with a history of breast and other cancers, my surgeon asked that I get genetic testing. The took about 6 vials of blood and I agreed to full testing, not just the BRCA1 and 2. They'll test for about 67 other cancer genes. My surgeon today said they will be doing several other pathology tests with the lumpectomy. I won't have results from genetics back before surgery but think for right now I'm best off with the lumpectomy. They did ask my ethnicity right from the very beginning. So glad yours all came back negative. My younger sister is in the SF Bay area and is in a special bc study. It seems SF has one of the highest incidences of bc in the nation, so those in the study are tested for BRCA and also provided an MRI 6 months after a mammogram. She was negative for mutations, but it only applies to her and her children. I want to be able to let my children and grandchildren have the knowledge if needed.
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