Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Be brave enough to live creatively.The creative is the place where no one else has ever been.You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition.You cannot get there by bus, only by hard work, risking, and by not quite knowing what you are doing.What you will discover will be wonderful:yourself. -Alan Alda

Hope as well Carole and Puffin that you had a great time at lunch and enjoyed every moment. I'm with Minus -- inquiring minds want to know.

Mike is better! His lab counts are still terrible but the paralytic ileus has resolved for the most part and he was able to have food. He said mashed potatoes and ground prime rib was the best thing he'd ever had. His emotions are on the surface and he gets teary-eyed often during the day. He holds my hand and says, "Maybe I'm not going to die after all." We've been here in Houston six weeks now but with any luck, things will progress and his counts will rise enough to get the final chemo. What he had a month ago is called induction and the upcoming one is called consolidation. Since it will lower his lab counts, it has to be delayed until he is better. But he's progressing so fast, it might not be long. Mike doesn't remember much of the past month. Just as well. He was so sick. Now he is cracking jokes, staying awake for hours at a time, and taking supervised walks. He can't get out of bed by himself, but once helped to stand, he shuffles along with a walker. His physical therapist follows with his IV pole and a wheelchair. Invariably, at the end of the hallway, he'll give up the walker and "ride" home to his room.

If all the pieces fall into place, we could be discharged in another week and stay in Houston for one more week after that before heading back to San Antonio. Our hospital will manage his care for a couple weeks but we will have to come to Houston for two days every month for the foreseeable future.

There is hope!

If religion commands universal charity, to love our
neighbors as ourselves, to forgive and pray for all
our enemies without any reserve; it is because all
degrees of love are degrees of happiness, that
strengthen and support the Divine life of the soul,
and are as necessary to its health and happiness,
as proper food is necessary to the health
and happiness of the body.

William Law

Sandra- so glad things seem to be turning around. Enjoy Mike's return to his world. Just being able to converse with him, and have him participate by telling jokes must be such a burden off your shoulders. What a blessing!

Haven't got much going on here in Ga. I am going to be helping Michael fill out college applications this weekend. I am a little upset that they weren't done earlier. His acceptance should not be a problem, because he is in the top 3% of seniors nationwide, and has 14 college classes already completed, and is taking 5 more this year. He is only applying to local Ga schools as he is incredibly unsure of himself on his own. His brother is a freshman this year, but thinks he wants to go into some type of forensics, and was asking me what sciences he should take for that. I have no idea, so I suggested he ask his guidance counselor. He was so adamant about saying no way to that, he almost fell off the bed.

Unfortunately, I think that shyness comes from me. Victoria suffers from it as well. I would never have approached anyone in authority on my own. Or talk to anyone I didn't know. That is something I still have to a lessor degree, but not quite as bad as when I was younger. I got over some of it being a foster parent. It didn't take long for me to realize these kids didn't have a voice. The severely abused had guardian at litems who visited them once a month, but were strangers who the kids wouldn't really open up to. The social workers were too busy to get to know them,so I had the most accurate info on how to he kids were really doing, so I started going to court on their behalf. One March, three of the kids we had were cleared to go home-a sibling duo whose mother had repeatedly put the kids in care, then would move to another state to petition to get them back, and a 10 year old who had watched his mother murder her husband, then been sent to his grandfather's who sexually abused him nightly for almost two years. The younger one of the sibling group was deaf, and we had petitioned the court to allow him to go to the St Augustine school for the Deaf that Oct. The improvement in his academics and sign language skill was amazing. When the courts ruled that they could all go home( the abused one was going to an uncle in Virginia) I went straight to the judges. I explained that I was not fighting their moves, just wanted to wait for the school year to end.The boy who was going his uncle had been in 10 elementary schools when we got him and he was only a second grader. The deaf boy was making such good progress in St Augustine, I asked the judge if he could order the mother to enroll him in a boarding school in Ohio, so he could have stability in his life, no matter what was happening in his mother's life. The judge agreed. His sister was in 5th grade and had been with us since Feb of fourth grade. I told the judge she already had so many plans for the end of the year. There was the Fifth Grade Dance, followed by a sleepover, an end of the year field trip, etc. it was only a six week delay I was asking for. The judge agreed in all three issues. So I learned how to speak for others when needed.

I am still very shy in person, and was always amazed at my husband at church coffee hours. He could approach anyone, known or unknown, and have a half hour conversation with no problem. I, on the other hand, unless it was a close friend, could ask how someone was, and mention the weather, and then was lost. Many, many times I stood next to Bob, pretending I was participating in his conversation. I go to church now, with some of the hose same people, but avoid coffee hour.

As you all well know, my shyness does not affect my printed words.

Hoping.you all have a great weekend

Anne

So happy that you got some good news about MIke!

Sandra --- Awesome news about Mike !!!

Sandra, So wonderful to see Mike doing better. It must be a big relief for you.

Anne, I knew someone so shy she couldn't say boo to a mouse. Then she got involved in keeping health benefits for the poor and ended up speaking at conferences and to the press and legislature. Amazing to watch. It was the same thing as you, it wasn't about herself.

Termite, hugs and prayers for your bil, and that perhaps the new valve will “take” and stop leaking. Is he on the transplant list yet?

My vision in the operated eye has improved to the point I can’t wear my prescription glasses any more--the distance correction is too strong and I no longer have astigmatism in that eye. So I realized I had to do something--can’t go spec-less because my lid is still swollen and that sub-conjunctival hemorrage, though harmless, still looks creepy. People might think I have pinkeye and stay away from me for fear of catching it. So I called LensCrafters & VisionWorks--the two places with on-site labs--and both said it's against company policy to replace one lens with a blank. (They can replace it with a prescription change--why not a "prescription" that says "no corrections?"--replace both lenses, or simply remove the lens entirely). Removing the lens without replacing it with something not only would look ridiculous, but would be pointless--if anything it would make my bloodshot eye and its swollen lid more prominent, and the point of wearing any glasses now is to camouflage it until it looks normal and/or I can wear eye makeup again.

So what I did was Uber it up to Lincolnwood Town Center mall and get two pair of gradient sunglasses at LensCrafters: one pair of classic Ray-Ban Wayfarers, dark up top fading to clear at the bottom, for everyday till this eye heals; and a big bling-y fashionista pair of Ralph Laurens with darker gradients fading to amber at the bottom for dresswear (like tonight). Both pair accomplish what undereye concealer (still off-limits for at least a weak) would, protect me from indoor bright light (though for sunlight I still have to wear those welders' glasses Solar Shields I was given--or at least the smaller pair I originally bought to cover my old rimless specs), and once this eye heals, I would have them in reserve for the other eye post-op. And if I do still need distance-and-intermediate-vision correction, I can replace the lenses with prescription ones. Meanwhile, while I was waiting the 2 hrs it took to replace the very dark gradients in the Laurens with lighter ones, I shopped at Old Navy. Got a bunch of T-shirt dresses on sale (still an XL, not XXL, thank goodness) and then saw some even bling-ier mirrored sunglasses for $15 a pair. Not gradients, too dark for indoors, but perfect for outdoor use if I don't want to look dorky. (Had planned to try Sunglass Hut first--but it was replaced by a cellphone store, so that's why I went on to LensCrafters). Had I seen the Old Navy shades first, I might have saved a bundle, but then I wouldn't have these uber-cool hipster-ironic Wayfarers. Was surprised how easy it was to get an Uber back home too (had I not been carrying packages, I might have taken the Pace bus to the CTA Red Line and walked home from my neighborhood station).

Gonna head upstairs, put together my outfit for tonight (dressy black shell or tank, palazzos, sheer black jacket and whatever dressy shoes or sandals are comfy and don't aggravate my blisters or give me new ones), and take a shower. Too bad I can't wash my hair yet--and my stylist is off today. Even if I could Uber it over there; I don't trust anyone else to do a shampoo & blowdry without stripping the keratin treatment from my hair. Not every salon uses sodium-and-sulfate-free shampoos & conditioners, and I feel ridiculous bringing my own. So I'll have to trust dry shampoo, my styling tools and maybe a bit of shine spray (all with my operated eye closed of course).

Speaking of which, after I put my first set of drops in this morning, I closed that eye, and gasped--the vision in my left (not-yet-operated) eye is like looking through a yellow frosted window. How on earth did I function with both eyes like that???

Hmm, as always the value of sharing here is being able to tap into what each of us ( though for me that is darn little ) has done to get through life before, during and even after cancer dx. I hope to never have to replace any lenses in my glasses, but I do have a non-correctable eye so there is always a plain lens on that side. It is great to know where I might be able to myself get another should ever do something.

Sandy, sounds like tonight is going to be great with your complimentary "specs" to get you through. Good for you.

Sandy, When you wrote about the yellow frosted glass, I tried covering one eye at a time. I've had the left one done, but not the right. Sure enough, the screen looks yellowish beige with the unoperated eye and white with the one that was fixed. Are you getting both close or distance or one of each? I'm trying to decide.

This is what my R eye looks like (mirror image--it's on the right in the photo). I'm opening it as wide as I can.

Post-op eye, pre-op glasses:

With my Wayfarers on:

Drives me nuts that I can’t use eye makeup till at least next Fri.

Whoever you are, there is some younger person who thinks you are perfect. There is some work that will never be done if you don't do it.There is someone who would miss you if you are gone.There is a good reason for becoming better than you are.There is a place that you alone can fill. -unattributed

To Jackie,

This just about says it all!

Have a great day!

Anne

Happy Birthday, Jackie! Celebrate for the whole week.