Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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There is no more searching test of the human spirit than the way it behaves when fortune is adverse and it has to pass through a prolonged period of disappointing failures.Then comes the real proof of the person.Achievement, if one has the ability, is a joy; but to take hard knocks and come up smiling, to have your mainsail blown away and then rig a sheet on the bowsprit and sail on—this is perhaps the deepest test of character. - Harry Emerson Fosdick
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Anne, I'm so glad you are getting some rest. So glad for the update......sounds like while knowing your brother had always made deep and loving impressions on everyone, that it turned out much bigger than you or maybe anyone thought possible. Sending loving strength to you and the entire family for well being.
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The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.
- Helen Keller -0 -
Don't expect perfection and things to go the way you want them to when it comes to people, business, your prospects, and your social life.When things don't go according to your desires, when the weather of life is foul, be creative and consider what may be the higher reasons why this is happening and why you must adjust.Perhaps it's to gain forbearance, patience, inner strength, flexibility, or the ability to withhold criticism while serving as a loving model. - Michael Goddart
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Deepest Sympathy, Anne. Your brother will be truly missed. What a nicely written obituary..
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Hard times don't create heroes.
It is during the hard times when the 'hero' within us is revealed.
- Bob Riley
Look well into thyself;
there is a source of strength which will always spring up
if thou wilt always look there.
- Marcus Aurelius0 -
Di, it's so good to see you posting again. What an awful time you've had! Sepsis! C-diff! Poor kid. I'm not surprised with a possible MDS diagnosis. Your symptoms have always been similar to Mike's. Let's hope you have a better time of it than he has. Nice memories of our time in Seattle and Alaska. I'm so glad we got to meet and spend time together. Please stay in touch.
Mike is no better. He still has diarrhea. The paralytic ileus has led to an infection in his gut. Today they stopped the research chemo to see if that is contributing to his decline. They don't think it is, but need to be sure. He continues to waste away and eats nothing. They are reluctant to begin TPN (feeding tube) because it is an avenue for more infection and he has no means to fight anything. He barely talks and doesn't have the energy to raise a cup. He fell again too. Yesterday the decision was made to let me in the room. I have to be in gown, mask, hat, gloves, and shoe covers just like the doctors and nurses. I have to pull Mike up to sitting, lift him to standing, and get him to the bedside commode...quickly! When he has to go, it's right away. I'm trying to keep hoping. It's getting harder.
My son Ryan began having problems again yesterday so he is coming to Houston tonight too. He and Allison get in about an hour apart. I'm looking forward to seeing them and know they will be glad to not only see their dad, but to go in his room now.
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(((Sandra, Mike, & Ryan)))
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Same... big hugs Sandra.
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Big Hugs Sandra from me too.
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I'm keeping the (((((((( hugs )))))))) coming !!!!!!
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Truth is not defined by
how many people believe something.
Ask. Question. Think.
Decide - for yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie0 -
More hugs here (((((((Sandra, Mike & Family)))))))
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Wren, good to see you are still out there. I don't post as much anymore but still read to keep up on what is going on.
Jo
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Integrity is not a conditional word. It doesn't blow in the wind or change with the weather. It is your inner image of yourself, and if you look in there and see a person who won't cheat, then you know you never will. -John MacDonald
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Morning gals.... I know I don't post very often, but I read what is going on all the time.... So sorry Sandra.... Just hang in there kid.... It's just un-imaginable what we have to go through sometimes....
And Anne.... sounds like a beautiful funeral.... At least we can know that their suffering is all over... It was kind of a relief for me, knowing that my Grandma wouldn't be "cold" anymore, even without me keeping her leg-warmers on her.... with Mom.... so much pain! But we sang "You are my Sunshine" to her.... knowing, we thought, that she could hear us.... With Dad... I just wanted to talk to him until he went to his eternal sleep. I whispered to him that it was okay to "let go".... that Mom was waiting, and I would go back to his house, and see him in the morning....
When I got to his home, they called, and said Dad had passed away..... It's never easy.... but at least I had my time alone with him, combing his hair, and telling him how much fun we had growing up. We all get our time..... it's just so hard on the ones left.....
Thinking of you all..... And Jackie.... You are the most loyal, stead-fast woman I know! YOU take care of yourself now.... xoxoxo
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Love that avatar, Chevy. I'm so glad you came today. It seems ( they just seem to pop up when not expected so often ) that we do go through times when their is illness going on for many. I don't know if I mentioned to anyone here that my cousin just passed on from pancreatic cancer, and my ex-husband is in hospice ( not long to go I'm sure ) from lung and kidney cancer. We were extremely fortunate to be able to remain friends through the yrs. I'm sad that it comes to this, but we don't get to choose.
Just underlines the importance of making the most of the time we have with those we cherish.
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Morning, all
Chevy, you are so right about the suffering being over. Bill was never a complainer and didn't let anyone how much pain he was in until 3 days before he died. But the physical changes were so extensive, I doubt I would have known him by sight had I made it to the Hospice before he died. I am so glad, that other than one picture, my last memory is a very happy one.
I have been so busy. I have gone somewhere every day and have eaten out all but one dinner. We have had some great family time. Because my younger brother is here, I have not been restrained to doing only what my sister wants. We plan to drive up to the Catskills (think Dirty Dancing) to see if we can find the resort we stayed at for 2 weeks in the summer.
The only downside to all this is that my brother's family has not joined us for anything. His widow is so sick, she is receiving blood transfusions weekly. They still haven't found out why. She needed two this weekend, but they could only do one yesterday, so she is back at the hospital for the second one today.
Then we leave early Wed morning to go back to my brother's home in NC. Fri, Robert ( brother) will take me to Rob (son) in SC. Then Sun, Rob and Scott will each drive halfway to get me to Atlanta. That is a new destination for this trip. But Nancy is having another skin cancer removed Thurs, and last time, her face swelled so bad, she couldn't open her eyes for days. Scott will be home Thurs-Tues, and I'll be there for a week or so.
Anne
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I don't post very often but I read these posts everyday. You all feel like family to me. My heart felt broken for you Anne. But what a testament for your brother the funeral was. And you must be the most patient, lovingand busy person I know of. Bless you.
Today our pastor said he never tells anyone he understands their grief because he realized when he lost his father to colon cancer at a young age (he is only in his forties now) though we may understand grief everyone's situation is theirs and personal to them and we can't know exactly how they feel.
Sandra I ache for you. It has to be so hard to watch your spouse suffer so much. And I too worry about your son. I have a grown daughter with mental issues. She has been married more than once and has several children half of them are grown and she even has grandchildren. I just can't seem to help her though. She keeps me at a distance emotionally
Everyone I wish you all strength and peace
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Anne, Let me know which one you are hoping to find. I may be able to tell you if it still exists. So many like the Concord and Grossingers have been torn down! They are building a New Casino on the Concord property. If you're close you might be able to stop in, we are 10-15 min. from Goshen.
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Sally.... I know! I know of more than a few women who just lost that connection with either their Son's or Daughter's. You would hope and pray that they are in your lives forever, but sometimes it isn't even worth the effort to do all the "giving"....... They just seem to not "need" us anymore. I know my Brother's Son has been this way as long as I can remember.... They keep hoping, but it's always for nothing.... They can't change him.. And that's the hardest part to understand.
It's okay.... We are here to do the best we can.... meaning, we take care of ourselves, and those we love, or try to, always know where they can turn.... but not at the expense of our own happiness or sanity!
Yes Anne... That last night with Mom.... she kept MOANing and hollering! I finally ran to the nurses station and begged them to give her more morphine! I was in tears.... They said, "but if we do that, she will just go to sleep".... And I said, but she is screaming in pain!
They came in right after, and increased the morphine drip.... There is no excuse to prolong someone's life, when they are in pain! At least make them comfortable..... She DID pass away after we left...Dad couldn't take it anymore.... He had "lost" her a long time before this.... It really was a blessing for all of us.
We ARE left with memories.... And I have them all over my home.... to remind me of where I came from.... And they make me happy....
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Sandra,
Sending loving thoughts to YOU, Mike and your entire family.....hope Mike kicks the big "D" soon.
I think if I do have MDS, it is much slower than Mikes MDS & progression to lukemia, as Dr. told me in 2014. Having an iron infusion tomorrow from 9-4:30.
Anne have "The time of your life" in The Catskills ( I LOVED DIRTY DANCING)
Waving Hi to Chevy....post more....do you know how Camillegal is?
Jackie....sorry about ex & your cousin
Hugs to all,
Di
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Yes, Di.... Cammi is still on the drinking thread.... appropriately enough! She still has some of her probs, but otherwise seems to be doing alright. It's hard for me to keep up anywhere, much less another thread.... Ha!
Those gals on the drinking thread are just crazy and fun!
I've been so busy in my yard and gardens, so I go outdoors as soon as it gets light. I don't post very often.... I try to keep up with emails, and FB.
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Hiya Chevronette!!
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SHELLS!!!!!!!!!! OMG I thought you were lost and never to be found again! How are things with you? I'll have to look and see where you post. You gonna stay here? This was the first thread I posted on... almost 7 years ago!
I've just been so busy with the house, (de-cluttering) and the yard, and cleaning out the shed, garage, basement, and trying to spend the LAST 50 years of my life getting RID of "stuff" instead of SAVING everything... Ha! I COULD make our shed into a "she-shed" but don't have the inclination.
Oh! And I could paint it with flowers? And hang plants from it? Hmmmmmmmmm.......0 -
I WISH!!!
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He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how. -Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
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Oh I love that shed. I have a big Amish build shed with a storage loft. I love it, but my SIL helped me clean and put nearly everything I had in there in the loft. He and daughter moved away ---- well, that now means who knows when I'll see anything that is in the loft. I'm thinking how much of that I might have driven down to Good Will but thought my kids might want it. Sigh !!!! Guess one of these days I'll find a sturdy youngster who wants to earn some money and lots of those things will find their way down to the ground floor again.
Looks so nice outside today. Warmer than we'd like but otherwise we are just beginning to look a little like Fall. Plenty of vegetation and plenty of green yet with all the rain, but it had that tired look beginning --- Sept. Oct. and November --- slow at first, but still un-mistakable. I heard some predictions of a harsh winter this yr. Well, we heard that last yr. and actually last season wasn't that bad. Fingers crossed. I stopped counting on predictions since we have had more and more effects ( not getting what is predicted ) turn up through the last few. So, just hoping that it isn't too bad.
Hope you all are going to have a wonderful day.
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Jackie, mine is just a "shed" shed.... Hah! But when we moved in here and the girls were little, it was their "play-house".... But the last 30 years it's just been for "storage" and junk! I'm just going to have it painted, and trimmed.... Wish it DID look like that picture!
I'm so bummed! Our primary care Doctor is retiring! Damn! This makes 3 Doctors that have "retired" !!! It's like you get comfortable with one, then poof, they are gone! Glad we aren't really bothered with anything bad....
DH has a cardiologist for his pace-maker stuff.... Hope the referrals he needs every year aren't a PROBLEM with this new PC..... He isn't one to go to the Doc's.....for physicals or preventive medicine.... Just goes when he gets hurt, or falling apart.....
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Warm & muggy today--rain threatening, but not a given. Will have to water the tomatoes just in case. Have only 3 or 4 left that are squirrel-bait--still not big enough & way too green & hard to pick except to rescue them from the critters. But I do notice some new blossoms & pips on a couple of plants we thought were goners. Bees won’t let me trim the seed spikes off the basil--it’s getting leggy & woody though still abundant. Thyme, rosemary, chives all doing well. Horsemint took over from the spearmint--way too bland to be useful.
Anne, Bonnets--until 2 years ago I used to attend the NERFA folk conference at the Hudson Valley Resort (formerly “The Granit” back in the day), which was the “last resort standing.” (NERFA moved from Kutsher’s in 2007--and as far back as 1998, when Gordy & I stayed there for the “A Day in the Garden” on the site of Yasgur’s farm, it was definitely threadbare & down at the heels). But the HVR was bought by a Japanese firm, and we’re not sure if they’ll be replacing it with a luxe resort, corporate retreat center, or expensive real estate development. When I was a kid after my aunt sold her summer house in Mt. Lodge Park near Washingtonville (where we spent our summers), we spent a couple of weeks per summer at first the Western View near Ellenville (which got turned into “Camp Westmont”) and then Zalkin’s Birchwood Lodge up the road (now a Jellystone Park KOA).
Hate to burst anyone’s bubble, but “Dirty Dancing,” though set in the Catskills, was actually filmed at Mt. Lake Resort near Roanoke, VA, with some outdoor scenes at Highland Lake Resort in Flat Rock, NC. Not surprised--both locations are very near popular scenic drives through the Blue Ridge Mts. (more spectacular and “mountainous” than the gentle rolling Catskills).
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