Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Happy Belated Birthday, Puffin. So sorry I missed your special day and I sure hope you had a great time!
Carole, you are so wise to spend all the time that you can with your Mom. There are so many days that I wish I once again had that opportunity.
It has been a rainy, dreary day. I bowled this morning and played Bunco this afternoon so it didn't affect me too much except for the fact that I have been up really late two nights this week to watch Cubs baseball. I am hoping this is our year!
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Sunday night I was up so late watching the Cubs game that my t-shirt—which I'd worn since brunch—took itself off me, walked to the bathroom, and threw itself into the hamper. I am convinced that the reason they won last night was that I went to temple for Kol Nidrei/Yom Kippur instead of watching the game. Glad to perform that sacrifice again and again till they win the Series.
Listening to a YouTube of Eddie Vedder singing “Someday We’ll Go All the Way” at the Pearl Jam concert I attended at Wrigley in Aug.
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Actually Ritajean, TODAY is my birthday so you were right on with your birthday wishes.
Thank you all for your birthday wishes, I had a great day, free lunch at Denny's with step daughter in law, and free supper at a Mexican restaurant with 6 friends. Guess I'd better hit the gym tomorrow!
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You have choice. You can select joy over despair. You can
select happiness over tears. You can select action over apathy. You can select growth over stagnation.You can select you. And you can select life.And it's time that people tell you you're not at the mercy of forces greater than yourself.You are, indeed, the greatest force for you.
Leo Buscaglia0 -
If I were to prescribe one process in the training of people which is fundamental to success in any direction, it would be thorough ongoing training in the habit of accurate observation. It is a habit which every one of us should be seeking evermore to perfect.
Eugene G. GraceI wasn't excited at all about this quote and it is not my usual, but I was recalling back about having, not once but twice, although a lot of time in between each, missed stop signs. That is high on my list of watching ( accurate observation ) now. Fortunately, I live in such a tiny town that it wasn't a big problem, but so often we become 'rote' in action for a lot of things and don't give the same amt. of attention and concentration each time.
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Hello to everyone. Wishing you a good Saturday.
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COLD one here. Was 28 when I got up. Been soooo dry, didn't think the colors wud be as good this fall, BUT they are beautiful, better every day. A lot of people come up from NYC to enjoy leaf peeping in the Catskills!
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The primal rhythmic power
and resonant sound of waves on the shore
are like the earth's heartbeat,
and become our connection with the body of nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie0 -
I found the above to be so true. For 25 yrs. I was fortunate in being able to live about a mile from the Pacific ocean. I could look out my window and see it. It had the most soothing effect I've ever experienced. Whatever cares and troubles --- standing and picking out a wave to follow on its journey from the shore to somewhere beyond the horizon never failed to remove my cares and concerns, erase heartbreak, soothe my soul and leave me feeling so much lighter and able to face my day and my life with a sense of inner spiritual renewal.
One time I told my mother how wonderful I always felt after I returned from the beach and she shared with me the fact that my dad so often would drive to the beach and sit and watch the waves for hours on end. He too ( without knowing why ) could cleanse some of the debris that often attaches to us when we have troubles that are hard to shake or find a reasonable, workable answer for.
Not everyone can go to the beach, but I do think there are many others ways --- solitude, a quiet walk in the woods, just getting in tune with something outside of yourself for long enough to break the ties of some of the negativities that come with being here and alive.
No sun outside today, but it is not crispy cool, just cool. One of the NICE Fall days. Leaves are turning, but if we don't get a frost we won't have too much bright orange in our leaves. There are a lot starting to find their way to the ground.
I hope you all have a great Saturday. It is time ( many plans have already been made ) to do the annual last wiener roasts of the yr. with those with small kids having hay rides and evening bon-fires where the required Smores will be made to go with the hot chocolate. I don't know if we will go to any this yr. We are still thinking about it. The older we are, we are less inclined to feel the need of keeping up this ritual with no personal family here --- though we do have invites from cousins and we may go. Depends on dh's work schedule more than anything else.
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Good Saturday morning everone. It's 64 degrees here and slightly overcast. All summer we felt like we were in a pressure cooker and this cool snap is quite a shock to the system. We run out the door then run back in for long sleeves. By afternoon we are peeling off the layers usually but yesterday was cool all day. Won't be long before we have wet bone biting cold. Even when the temperatures are not too bad the dampness makes the cold just seep in
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We are driving over to Indiana tomorrow for the Indiana Bridge Festival. Usually the fall colors are outstanding, but very few trees around here have turned so far this year. Maybe they will be prettier the farther east we go. Everyone enjoy this lovely Saturday.
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Thanks for the warm welcome Teka!
I'm in Western Washington state - we're being warned of a HUGE storm churning it's way toward us with damaging winds that will hit late afternoon -early eve. Right now it seems crazy to know in a few hours all hell is going to happen because it's so calm and quiet at the moment. The leaves have been so beautiful this past week and what's left will soon be blown away! We had a couple of lesser storms hit yesterday and there are some that have already lost power. I'll keep you posted!
Vicki
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PNW sisters, especially on the “wet side of the mts.,” please stay safe! I almost went to the FAR-West folk conference in Bellevue, WA this weekend but decided one conference per season was enough. Twisters and storms are very rare out there (I ought to know, since I lived in Seattle for 7 yrs. and practiced law in Bellevue), so people aren’t as prepared for them as we are here in the Midwest where they’re much commoner (then again, most Chicagoans wouldn’t know about earthquake safety either).
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At least here in Seattle, it was mild. Always good when they predict something dangerous and it weakens. It may be worse farther north, but I hope not. Sandy, you're right about only learning what to do in the area where you live. I grew up in tornado alley and when we moved out here and I had to ask people at work what to do in an earthquake.
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Love is something you and I must have. We must have it because our
spirit feeds upon it.We must have it because without it we become
weak and faint. Without love our self-esteem weakens. Without it
our courage fails. Without love we can no longer look confidently at the world. We turn inward and begin to feed upon our own personalities, and little by little we destroy ourselves.With it we are creative. With it we march tirelessly.With it, and with it alone,
we are able to sacrifice for others.
Chief Dan George0 -
Worked outside for about an hour yesterday and had sweat dripping down my nose and my clothes were wet by the time I came inside. Fingers crossed that we get some fall coolness SOON. It is very dry. We need rain.
Happy Monday to everyone.
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Happiness is not in our circumstances, but in ourselves.
It is not something we see, like a rainbow, or feel,
like the heat of a fire. Happiness is something we are.
John B. Sheerin0 -
Carole, I'll send some of the beautiful cool breeze ( praying it stays ) coming through my office window. It was warm here yesterday, but we had the same breeze that kept it all so pleasant. Still, when I washed my car I was wringing wet in no time and it never let up the whole slightly over two hours that I worked. I have to say though --- wow, it was worth it. It is the second time I used the new 'formula' given to me by my cousin and I really do love what it does for my car.
We are still having the 'oil and chip' blues here which is that ( I complain but in ways it is a very good thing ) after the city oils our roads they haul out tons of white pea gravel ( the chip ) and spread over it. For weeks then we put up with soooo much white dust coming up off the road until your car is nearly white too. In some yrs. when the city was being run poorly they did not have enough gravel an oil would get all over your car, in your car, and stick on your shoes. So, I am glad that I'm not checking my car for splotches of oil inside and out, but it is a trial working through the white dust --- which by the way since cars aren't air-tight, seeps into the interior as well. So much cleaning has to take place.
We are otherwise hoping that great breeze holds and our fairly warmish day will be much easier to take. Some people will turn their a/c on again, but we are under all the trees and very little concrete out here in the woods so hopefully won't have to do that.
Hoping you all have a fantastic day.
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Nice here by the lakefront—sunny, mid-70s today through tomorrow. My green tomatoes are finally beginning to blush, so rather than risk the squirrels noticing that, I will pick them. That'd leave fewer than 10 on the vine, but that'll also make 10 on my sill, one of them ready for my lunch and the rest ripening beautifully. Latest we've ever had tomatoes still on the vine!
Jackie, I hear you about “oil & chip.” The arterial around the corner from me is in its penultimate stage of repaving after sewer work, and there are those orange “Fresh Oil” signs everywhere. You can smell it—almost as acrid as the asphalt, which is the last step before lane-painting. Ugh. The ice cream parlor, restaurants and Whole Foods don’t like it either, as the stink wafts in whenever the doors open. (At least WF has an ante-room where you get your cart). My recording engineer has his studio on his farm outside downstate Sparta. At the end of the street leading from IL4, a gravel road (runs about a mile) begins. In the 1/4 mi. to his gate, on dry days my car picks up so much dust that I can write my name on it with my finger by the time I park next to the studio. When I go home after a few days' recording, first thing I do is top up the tank with relatively cheap gas—and then I look for a car wash. (Not the kind you have to drive through, because my car's collision-avoidance system thinks the brushes & cloth strips are an obstacle and slams on the brakes—either a hand or completely stationary wash where even the dryers pass over the car).
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OMG- you are not going to believe where I am and why! I am back in NY. My brother called me last Wed evening to tell me my sister had a stroke. Absolutely out of the blue. That was about 7:15. By 9:00 the report was she had a stroke, was in kidney failure, had a serious heart problem and pneumonia in her left lung.
By then, I already had my ticket to come up the next night. I loved my brother who passed away five or six weeks ago, but we weren't very close. We'd call each other for our birthdays and holidays, and I would see him a couple of times when I was up visiting, but I always stayed at my sister's house and talked to her frequently on the phone. I think I have mentioned her before- she is borderline agoraphobic, smokes like a chimney and eats like a fly. So it wasn't totally a shock, but it was- she has been like this for years and years.
I was so excited when I booked my flight, (the only direct flight from Ft Laud to Newburgh), to find that it was leaving at 5:30 pm instead of 8:30. Thurs was a crazy day, because all of my heavier clothes are at my DD in Atlanta. So I had to buy some long sleeved tops and a couple of flannel pajamas. I was a nervous wreck going to the airport because it was after 4:00, and I was afraid that if security was crowded, I'd miss my flight. Nope! When I got to my gate, I found the flight had been delayed until 7:30 due to mechanical problems. Holy Crap- I'm not worried enough about my sister - now I have to worry about the plane breaking mid flight? Then they changed it to 8:30 departure and gave us meal vouchers. That meant we wouldn't get to NY till 11:00, and my 78 year old cousin was picking me up. Long story short, we left about 7:15 and my niece picked me up.
Again, I will skip details but my sister was in ICU till Sun night. Seems like the kidneys and heart were just reactions to the pneumonia,and UTI. But, instead, she has COPD and emphysema. She has been on oxygen and gets an albuterol treatment every four hours, and needed to have a BiPap to sleep at night. That is a machine that forces air in and out of your lungs without your help, so it gives her a rest and makes sure she doesn't stop breathing during the night. For he first couple of days she was on a ventilator. When they weighed her, she was only 84lbs. We've been talking about the possibility of the hospital sending her to an eating disorder rehab, but she doesn't really have an eating disorder, she just doesn't like eating, And her dentures don't fit right, so she doesn't eat. They started her in clear liquids yesterday, and added pudding and yogurt tonight, but she isn't eating a quarter of what they are giving her. She is still struggling to breath, and can only say 2 or 3words at a time. She also can't stand up and walk without getting extremely dizzy and is basically afraid to move. She had a panic attack or close to it when they said they were moving her to a regular room on another floor. She does not do well in unfamiliar situations. When I first got to the hospital, she was on the ventilator, so her daughter gave her paper and a pen. She wasn't happy that I came (not necessary and too expensive), so she wrote my cousin a note that said I looked good, but I shouldn't have come. After she showed it to Barbara, she showed it to me.
After that, she didn't make eye contact or written contact with me for days. But I kept showing up, just sitting close. Today, she had to use a bed pan. I was the only one there at the time. The nurses did the work, but she grabbed on to my hand and kept holding it long after the nurses left. She apologized to me- I have no idea why, and I said not to apologize to me, that's why I was there- not to yell at her for not going to the Dr sooner, not to force her to eat, just because I know how frightening this all is, and I wanted to be there so she wasn't so scared. Her two children have been doing a great job of taking turns, but both of them had to go back to work today. Her son worked until 2, and her daughter had to be to work by 12:30. So I was there to take up the slack. Hopefully, she will be moved to a rehab center by the weekend.
Everything else is up for grabs- we don't even know for sure that she has COPD or emphysema. She lives on the second story and there are no elevators. We're not sure she will be able to live on her own. We had an aunt who went through something similar- she was a full time employee that played games with us, took us to our first movies, etc. She had had rheumatic fever as a child and had an "episode" one night. No one every explained what the episode was, but my aunt went from being an active healthy woman to a completely bedridden invalid overnight. She never resumed her life and had her meals served to her in bed. I am so afraid that this is going to happen with my sister. The stroke (if there was one), was very minor and left no damage at all, but she hasn't moved more than one hand to let us know she needs something. She can't hold herself up, or walk more than two tiny steps at a time, with someone else bearing her weight. Neither her son or daughter have room to move her in with them and she won't come to Fl with me, so the future is not very clear. She is 68 yrs old.
Thanks for listening.
Anne
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Anne are you still here? What hospital is she in? Anything I can do for you?
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Anne, you're a good sister. Wishing the best outcome. It's so stressful to have family members with serious health complications.
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You will not grow if you sit in a beautiful flower garden, but you will grow if you are sick, in pain, experience losses, and if you do not put your head in the sand, but take the pain and learn to accept it, not as a curse or punishment but as a gift to you with a very, very specific purpose. -Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross
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Anne, so sorry to hear all you are having to go through but I would imagine it is something of a comfort to be there and see first-hand the things that are taking place. It is hard when you are getting anecdotal descriptions from others because it always leaves you with questions that those who are there can't quite answer for you.
Great lesson in this --- the things we do ( smoking & drinking or not seeing Dr.'s when we actually should ) can put us into situations for which it is very difficult to fight through. Amazed at the end to hear your sister is 68 which to me seems fairly young. My SIL did in fact though pass away at 54 from yrs. of smoking and daily drinking. I hope much can be done to make your sister comfortable -- like maybe dentures that would fit so she could enjoy food again, and a good place to live ( nursing/rehab'/assisted living ) where she can be a bit more comfortable. Prayers for you and for your sister that she is willing to do what is needed. Doesn't necessarily sound so much like a stroke to me as just a body that couldn't cope so well anymore and needed changes. Keeping you in my thoughts, hopes and prayers.
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Speaking of years of bad lifestyle choices—my eldest paternal aunt was a never-recovered alcoholic and chain smoker, and died of esophageal cancer. Only now did it hit me…..she was 64, a year younger than I am now.
Anne, may your sister turn the corner—eating will be a start. Hate to say this, but “not liking to eat” to the point of malnutrition is an “eating disorder.” There’s a continuum of eating disorders all the way from Prader-Willi Syndrome (in which the brain never receives satiety signals from the stomach and the patient cannot stop eating…anything & everything) to compulsive/addictive eating, to bulimia to anorexia. A lack of appetite due to illness, depression or medications is one thing. But “not liking to eat,” not even to give the body adequate fuel, is not just a quirk and is definitely not normal. If she gets through this physically. your sister needs psychological or even psychiatric help.
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This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.
- William Shakespeare -0 -
Thanks for always being there, your support really helps
Bonnets- right now we are at St Luke's, Cornwall. But late afternoon, she is being transferred to a rehab n Goshen. I think it is something like Evant. They gave the family a bunch of places- pages and pages, and told them to pick five. Margie's son works with the washingtonville ambulance corps, her daughter's best friend and my cousin's all picked the place in Goshen for convincence and quality of care. Then we were told that the list had narrowed to 3 because the Dr wanted her at a pulmonary rehab. We were thrilled to hear the one in Goshen was on the list, and even happier that they have a bed this afternoon.
We are all aware of her lifestyle and knew something like this was a possibility. Your brain knows that, but your heart isn't ready. My brother is amazed that she has COPD, not lung cancer. We are not at all sure of what happens after the rehab. Will she be able to walk up and down the stairs to her apartment? Will she be able to live on her own? Will she be able to stay away from cigarettes? We all discuss this at length but have no answers. Both of her children do not have the room for her to live with them, and, honestly, she is not an easy person to live with.
Sandy, again, you are preaching to the choir. Margie has been a bad eater since birth. In fact, my mom tried to abort me because Margie was only 8 months old when she realized she was pregnant, and still was up all night every night screaming with colic. Thankfully, the Dr knew my mom would never forgive herself and gave her a shot of saline, just to calm her down. I do not remember a weekend dinner where my parents did not wage war with her to get her to eat her food. When she became an adult and got married, her menu decreased even more. For a while, she would eat hotdogs, bagels, baked beans and spaghetti. She got full dentures about 15-20 years ago, and she claims they don't fit, but refuses to do anything about them, because she uses that as the excuse for her even more restricted menu. Plus, while she gaveup drinking years ago, she started drinking non-alcoholic beer from about 2pm on each day.
We are amazed she has survived this long. She is nothing but bones. We have made sure the Drs are aware of that and that is is a lifelong problem. But she is a fiercely independent woman, who is in total denial. We are hoping the Drs can do what we have been unable to do.
Gotta go to cafeteria to get some lunch
Anne
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Anne, That's Elant, my Mom was there on their Alzheimers unit until I moved her to Alabama, by my brother. What are you doing Friday? Maybe I cud meet you at Elant and go for lunch in Goshen. Let me know.
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Anne I learned a long time ago with my sister that sometimes they just won't let you help them. My sister who is 8 years older than I has had a problem all her life. She is addicted to hospitals, surgeries, and prescription medication. She has overdosed many times and trusts no one to take care of her meds. A year ago she fell and a cyst was found near her spine that was causing paralysis. She had back surgery 1 year before and it's thought it has been growing since that time. The fall and paralysis prompted 2 surgeries in one night. We were told she'd never walk again and she was put in an interim hospital to get her lined out on her meds. While there she went into a coma and we were told she would not survive. But she is spunky and came out of the coma. We had to put her in a long term care facility. But hard as it is to believe she came back around and even walks and talks like before the incident. You can barely tell there is any brain injury. But she is staying in the facility for her own good. It's the only way she can be controlled as far as her meds and eating habits. What is so sad is the fact she is extremely intelligent but has some sort of mental disorder. We know she is bipolar but think it's more than that. My point is that sometimes all you can do is be there and love them
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Come on, Cubs! DH is from the Chicago area and is a long time Cubs fan.
I spent most of the day today on the phone and on the computer dealing with changing insurance companies.
I also called a kidney specialist to make an appointment but learned that my PCP has to send the dr. a referral letter with the latest lab work. My kidney function has been on a downward trend and I want to follow up on the situation. The specialist will look at the lab work and decide if I should be given an appointment with her. I hope she accepts me as a patient because her office is at the end of my street and I like her a lot. I took my mother to her for several years. I'm wondering if I inherited my mother's kidney genes.
My oldest brother is supposed to visit my mother at the nursing home tomorrow so I will not go. It will give me a day to try to get some things done. I'm in a "put your house in order" mood and want to tackle some closets and storage cabinets that contain a lot of "stuff" that I probably should clear out. Once the weather cools off, I also have yard work waiting to be done.
Hope everyone had a good Tuesday.
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