Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Anne, I wish your brother would stay longer. I feel so for your grandkids. I realize they are not in charge and sometimes changes just have to take place, but these are such non-traditional changes and somehow I just feel the Dad is being selfish about making 'decisions' for his whole family. I guess it is too much to ask to that the whole family be able to sit talk and discuss pro and cons really carefully and thoroughly. I'm not sure anything would change, but then the 'adults' could get some reality on how much they are asking of the children -- or so one could at least hope.

As far as religions go -- I'm not overly fond of any of them. I do feel like the Jehovah Witnesses are a fairly rigid group as my sister was of that religion as well. She did not become a part of it until she was in her 40's. I am not against them as such but find it disturbing that just seeing your daughter has made this young man a sinner???? Really. Is that all it takes !!!! As my sister was not quite in that category ( being older and married ) I guess I never knew anything about that part of things. I do recall my sister not giving gifts on holidays as such. I think giving anything was termed a love offering and not therefore specifically for a holiday. In any case it would seem to me -- any sort of relationship between these two people would cause endless friction. Not saying it couldn't or wouldn't work out, but I sure can't quite see it. I'm not sure this man is controlling ( though don't like the part where your daughter can go out to dinner with whom she wants ) but I more wonder if his religion doesn't control him. Guess I also think --- aren't there any 'singles' in his Church that would like to date a nice man.

Well, obviously Anne, I have more questions than answers for you. I'm pretty much okay with all religions, but I think like is sometimes easier if you don't go outside of your religion to find someone to date or marry. It takes I think very strong people to be successfully connected with their marital life and their spiritual life as well. Got my fingers crossed for your daughter. I'd be careful if I were her.

Maybe there is someone here who lives near you and would not might be your support. I think there is also more information listed here on BC. Org so you might want to check there to see if there is something which might bear some relation of your situation. I hope some of the other gals might come on and have some other ideas that may be of some help to you. Sending you hugs.

munnybunny - You can do it!!! I went to the biopsies by myself. I went to every doc appointment by myself, and met docs for first and second interviews to choose providers. I drove myself to & from chemo. I drove myself every day to radiation treatments. I had to have someone drive me to surgery, but that was it. If you're concerned that you won't remember what the docs say, tape record it with your phone. I didn't feel comfortable taking a neighbor with me, so I just put on my big girl panties & got it done. You can too. But yes, it sure is scary. Wishing you the best of luck.

If we make our goal to live a life of compassion
and unconditional love, then the world
will indeed become a garden where all
kinds of flowers can bloom and grow.

Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross

E. Kuebler-Ross is one of my favorite quote people. She is in my signature line.

Anne, the parents of my son’s ex-GF (who still remains a close family friends) have always dreamed of moving to rural northern AL and living “off the grid” in order to avoid paying income and property taxes. (Can’t get into their ideology on this thread lest I violate forum rules). I thought of them when you cited your SIL’s reasons for wanting to move up to Lake Placid. (IMHO, the only valid reasons to leave S. FL for the Adirondacks are avoidance of hurricanes and a passion for either nature—especially mountains—or winter sports). Unfortunately for ex-GF’s parents, those plans are on hold while the mom battles pancreatic cancer (after a Whipple, chemo and radiation), which cannot be treated “down in the boondocks."

Sandy

I am sorry I didn't specify which Lake Placid- they are moving to the one in central Fl. I am sure your son's ex in-laws Ideas were similar to my DD's. Without getting into politics, he has somehow convinced her that we have no right to live any better than people in third world countries- and anything we have above that, A/C, indoor equipped kitchens, houses with. bedrooms for everyone-is an indication that we are spoiled and priveledged. She tried once to convince me that I am totally spoiled with the home I have (that she was raised in) . And tried to convince me her her DH is a true Christian man, head of the family, etc. Most of the time I avoid confrontations with her, but I had to tell her that I wasn't spoiled at all, I had been blessed with two men who did whatever it. took to support their family's. First my Dad who worked two jobs most of his life, then my husband who worked as much overtime as he could.

They also both made sure they took their kids to church and every Sun. Herhusband has never held a real job since I met him when she was 15. Right now he is customizing remotes for video games - he puts stickers on them, then spray paints them and when the paint is dry, he peels off the stickers- he gets paid per control. And he has made some effort to read the Bible- but only the parts that are beneficial to his point of view. And he doesn't go to church at all.

They are gaining nothing by moving other than getting out of the warehouse they currently live in. They have no new job opportunities, no home, no support. Both kids have made it clear they don't want to move at all and certainly not into old railroad containers

Gotta go pick their son up from school.

Anne

Peace of mind just can't be bought. Trust me:
Even if your conscience doesn't stop you from playing
dirty to get what you want, once you get it, it will
keep you from enjoying it. As my mother used to
say, "A good conscience is God's eye." Which is why
I always prefer a loss to an underhanded gain; the
one brings pain at the moment, the other for all time.

Patti LaBelle

Jackie

I am happy to say that my daughter is slowing the relationship way down. I think they saw each other once over the weekend, then one night this week. Thankfully, she has learned (the hard way) that people can present a good front until they get what hey want. Her ex stayed at the same job and saw her every day for a year before she married him. Within 3 weeks of the wedding he quit his job and didn't get another one until they wanted a child. She found out she was pregnant- less than a month later she moved into a different bedroom where she stayed for a little over 2 years so her son could be with both parents. She finally decided that Dr Phil was right- a kid would rather be from a broken home than live in one. So she knows the dangers to watch for. She will also be out of town most of next week at a business seminar, so that will give her time away from him.

Ann

.

What do we live for if not to make life less difficult for each other? -George Eliot

We hit 62 here by the lake today! Didn’t want to chance relapsing, so I reluctantly stayed home from the Women’s March. Sat out on the deck, drinking my coffee and watching the antics of the birds & squirrels. Then I got to work and cleaned my gas grill. Later this afternoon I bit the bullet and drove to the hand car wash. I’m too lazy for the DIY one and can’t use the automatic ones because I have trouble turning off the collision-avoidance system and most require you to keep the engine running (and the car stops the machinery that pulls it through). There are three within a mile of me, and I chose the one that usually has the shortest line (and doesn’t hold up traffic). Apparently, half the neighborhood had the same idea. So the staff was actually washing cars out on the sidewalk by the entrance. Took 20 minutes in line for them to get to me, and another 15 before it was ready. But it was totally worth it.

HI ladies,

I haven't been on for awhile but have been reading and catching up on here. Welcome to all the new ladies. It is a nice day here today but really windy. They say we are due for some storms.  This was our first Christmas in 41 years that we did have our children and grandchildren with us. It was different but we got through it. Went to DH mothers house on xmas eve and took her out for dinner and the music show they had there. then we stayed overnight there, stopped at some friends house and then home. In the evening we met a few couples at one of the houses and had desert and drinks. It was nice just different. Three of our sons were together and we got to face talk with everyone. Our other son in PA called and we talked to them. We are going to Disneyland some time taking one of GD and a ds. not sure how her two brothers are going to feel about. DH and I are disagreeing on this but I will be sure the other 2 kids get to come down and go soon.  Our youngest son called with the news that he and his girlfriend are expecting and will be due in August.  I cant wait this will be our 10th grandchild. We are still settling in but have met our neighbors. Everyone on our street is new here and everyone is so nice. We are having a lot of good times with them. DH and I are going fishing with a group of people from the community. This should be a riot since I have never gone fishing before.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend

The splendor of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do not rob the little violet of its scent nor the daisy of its simple charm.If every tiny flower wanted to be a rose, spring would lose its loveliness. -Therese of Lisieux

Hi all,

We have a rather gloomy day here in So Fl. Sun peeks in and out, but more clouds than sun.

Tracy left on her business trip - in fact, she is in the air right now. I have her son while she's gone. She told his dad that Doug staying with him while she was gone was not an option- he has school all week and there is no guarantee his dad would get him there on time. This way, he has his normal routine- I don't evan have t get up with him, but I am here if he needs me. I will also make sure homework is done and that he goes to sleep at a reasonable time. He is 14, and very well behaved, so I am not worried about us at all. I did txt his other grandma this morning and we are going to have a "Grandma's Take your Grandchild to Dinner night" Weg night. At 14, neither of us see enough of him (well, I see him a lot- going past me as he journeys to and from his room, but he's always rushing somewhere) so thought we could get some grandma time and I don't have to cook.

I am still waiting for my brother to arrive. He should have been here two weeks ago. But he had a lot of pain in his side radiating towards his back. The symptoms lingered , nowhere near as severe, till he finally went to the Dr. The Dr said his symptoms fit his having passed a kidney stone, but wanted a CT scan just to be sure. That was Thurs, he called Fri afternoon to say he apparently still has a 7mm stone is his kidney. Dr says he cannot travel till he passes it, or they smash it with lasers. They were trying to get him in to see a urologist ASAP. He promises he will be here 48 hrs after the all clear.

I am really want him here soon because in 11days my DD and family move 2 hrs away. My husband and I left our families to start a new life here n Fl, when our our oldest was 16 mo old. I had no idea how much that hurt my parents, until my DDand her family moved to Ga. Oh, the pain of having grandchildren move away- especially when you have had them in your life, basically on a daily basis. As much as it hurt when they moved to Ga, it was nothing like when we moved to Fl. Thanks to technology, I can and do text with Nancy throughout the day, and I am blessed that I can visit them whenever I want. I can't even thinking about Jamie's move- just thinking about it makes me cry. Taking them 2 hrs away, leaves them with no stability at all.

Have to go pick K up from school. He is acting out because of his not understanding why they are moving, so every day he gets a green for good behavior she n school,I stop at the the park and let him play with his friends for a while. He got greens very day last week. He tells his Mom he wants me to pick him up, not her

Anne

Hi Anne,

JUst wanted to let you know I have had lithotripsy, which may or may not work. For me it broke the stone in 2 and gave me some grit! The stone didn't bother me for a couple of years so we left it alone and eventually I passed it, no fun . Both Lambert and I have had the joy of passing stones! Hope it does the job for your brother.