Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Our first snow of the season arrived on time, sometime during the midnight hours. We awoke to light snow which is still falling. Despite its being late I have to admit that I love the lazy falling snow. I truly need the seasons to make me feel 'correct' since I grew up with them. I enjoyed our/my 25 yrs. in southern California ( a mile from the ocean ) and I'm glad that I had the long experience of everyday living there --- but it was never 'home' like being home where I am now. Having seasons just inspires a sense and feeling of completeness that I didn't ever quite have in California.
I hope you are all going to have a great day no matter what is going on.
Jackie
( who sometimes puts her name below her entries and sometimes doesn't ).
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Carole - agreed about Windows 7. My son has offered to build me a new computer this year, but that means I will be stuck with Windows 10. Not sure I'm willing to trade Windows 7 for increased speed until there is no choice when upgrades stop.
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Hello all,
Hugs and prayers for all that need them.
My11year old got my old iPhone 5 for Christmas, so I have been getting a bunch of emails from Amazon, thanking me for my purchases. I checked a few and they were all free apps, so I ignored them. For some unknown reason I decided to look at them all today. Can you imagine my surprise to see a charge of $25 for an app- well then, think about how I reacted to a charge for $399.99!! I knew immediately it wasn't Victoria, it was her 8 yr old brother. Somehow he figured out the password and/ or how get around the parental controls. Amazon was very nice and refunded me over $450. Needless to say, all my "devices" got new passwords today.
Last night, I had a dental appt at 5:00. It was originally scheduled in Oct, when I was in NY. When I finally back, yesterday was the next appt available. I had 4 cavities, and needed 2 new crowns. I will preface this by saying I am terrified of dentists. Have been since I was about 8 yrs old. The dentist is a female, and when I had the checkup, I told her about my fear, and she said not to worry, she would give me nitrous oxide, and she gave me a prescription for a pill. Since I take Ativan before bed everynight, I chose to take 1 1/2 Ativan instead of what she had given me, about a half hour before the appt. I was shaking like a leaf when Tracy drove me to the office. I told Tracy she didn't have to stay- we are only maybe 6 minutes away. They promised to call her about a half hour before I was done. That was about 5:15. They cAlled her once, then before she could even get to the car, they called to say that was a mistake - I was not almost done. She got so worried she came up without a call at 8:30. They didn't finish till 9:20. I was in that chair, with them working on me for over five hours. At one point I had to sit with a mold in my mouth for six minutes. Before she put it in my mouth, I said to the assistant, "Please keep talking to me, it keeps me from stressing so bad" Thank goodness, she had given birth to her first child and yesterday was her first day back from maternity leave, so she had A lot of bragging to do.
The fear was so intense that when we got home, I went straight to bed (about 9:30), and slept until noon today. I have to go back for the permanent crowns in 2 weeks, then I will be done for now. I was telling my youngest daughter what they had done last night, and her response was, "No matter what you had to have done, be glad you're not Aunt Margie (mt sister). At least you have teeth for them to work on".
Like the old saying goes, no matter how bad you think your situation is, there is someone who's situation is worse"
Ready for bed, have a good night tonight.
Anne
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Anne, glad you made it through that dental appointment. When you get the permanent crowns, it’ll go a lot faster. (Been there, done that).
I’ve always been suspicious of those TV commercials for “free” apps, especially those silly games. Those games make you pay for each next level...very addictive. So I only download the truly free ones, and put up with the occasional pop-up ads in the free solitaire app. Parental controls on electronic devices is a great idea not just for folks with kids but also who have grandkids visit. There was a news story today about a little kid who told the Alexa “personal assistant” device she wanted a dollhouse and cookies. So today Amazon delivered a dollhouse and 5 lbs. of butter cookies. The parents donated the stuff and promptly activated parental controls.
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We have no more right to put our discordant states of mind into the lives of those around us and rob them of their sunshine and brightness than we have to enter their houses and steal their silverware. - Julia Seton
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Hmmm, interesting about how those phones work. The one I have is basically an emergency phone. I have trouble even getting into the ( left a message ) part of my phone. I guess now and then being a bit hopeless can have some benefits -- I don't have to worry about mistakes with my phone ---- I can barely use it as it is --- so life in that way becomes easy.
I'm not sure about Dh's phone so much. It's a lot fancier but I don't think he does too much with it. He likes to text and as I'm not much on the mobility side of phones --- I would not care much for that either. Even though I don't think he does much, we have gotten a couple of packages that had to go back from whence they came. Not sure how it happened. I think some companies, if you don't watch for boxes to be checked or un-checked ( however it is that they try to trick you ) will say you signed up for automatic shipments or something of that ilk. That is one of the reasons that I really have to feel a huge need or be totally unable to find a store anywhere to buy things directly from the Internet.
Cold again here today. Hard to believe the first of the week we will be back up to the 50's and the hard crusty snow ( we didn't get that much ) will melt and help us make mud. We haven't seen the last of the cold but if it is a little less ARTIC in nature I'll be happier when it does return.
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We both have good old flip phones, which I call stupid phones, which we hardly use. Have a land line here as we are a dead zone, though I'm told smart phones only require WIFI. If we had smart phones, I'd need a class on how to use it! Another computer to learn. Guess we are just old foggies!
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I very very rarely order things on the internet. Before Christmas, however, DS wanted us to find 2 popular toys for him. I ended up with Toys R Us as the only place that had them. I ordered online and the toys were available for pickup in an hour at the store I picked (none of the stores are close to us). It was awesomely good service. They even sent an email saying they had been picked up. I want to go back to the days when grandparents gave pajamas and underwear. I didn't realize that it might be for convenience.
I have an iPhone, but also a desk computer. It's a lot easier to see and use, so the phone is mainly for calling and texting. I love texting because you can send it anytime and the recipient can read it when convenient. You can also text back and forth if you're both available.
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I found my old iPhone 5S (when I got the 6S, they didn’t make me turn it in) and decided to turn it, like my even older 3GS (circa 2009), into a wi-fi-only iPod. Stupid setup screen isn’t recognizing either the original password I used when I bought it, or the new iCloud/iTunes password I reset for security reasons (the old pw didn’t conform to Apple’s new requirements). All I wanna do is use it for playing music, setting an alarm, and looking at the weather app (when I’m not near the computer or my functioning iPhone—I have a landline, so I don’t haul it around the house with me). For some stupid reason, there’s no weather app included on my iPads. Guess I’ll have to go old-school and go to Dashboard in the Dock to find out—but unlike the app in the iPhone, it doesn’t forecast hour-by-hour. And as for it being a music player, it’s pretty much a brick until I can get to the Apple Store and ask a Genius. If all else fails, I will do a factory reset to wipe its little demented memory and donate it to a charity or women’s shelter (even with no data or cell connection, it can still call 911).
I no longer have a desktop Mac—ever since a raccoon fell through the office ceiling onto my old eMac back in 2005. (For awhile I used a cheap old-shape flatscreen monitor hooked up to an obsolete iBook, but I’m gonna put my sewing machine on there instead) And as for the Gateway desktop upstairs, Gordy uses it only to raid his music library for playlists to put on his Android phone or his MacBook. We have tons of obsolete software (floppy disks!), hardware, and computer books. When it gets nicer out, I’m gonna open the office window, throw them down into a box on the deck and haul the box out to the alley dumpster….empty, lather, rinse, repeat. I have sooo many dead electronics to get rid of (too obsolete for any entity to accept—we’re talking several generations of OSes ago). Meanwhile Bob uses a SONY Vaio laptop he upgraded from Windows 7 to 10, insisting that the CME websites he visits use only Internet Exploder. I find that hard to believe. And I detest Windows.
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Sandy, Love the raccoon story, mine was only a glass of orange juice on my Macpro! Had a heck of a time setting up the new macair, did it myself, since they told me it was easy, haha! I still have my EMac but its slow and can't get on some web sites as the OS is old and can't be upgraded anymore(planned obsolesence!) e have a land line too so only have flip phones, which we rarely use. AAAH technology is wonderful , when it works. You got any grandkids around to help you set up the new one?!
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Good friends help you to find important things when you have lost them…your smile, your hope, and your courage.
Doe Zantamata0 -
Hello,
I am 66 and I would like to hear from any of you that had chemo.
I need to have 4 cycles of Taxotere and Cytoxan every 3 weeks.
I am somewhat concerned about my age. Frankly,
I don't think I have felt much energy for about 2 years.
I had shingle 2 years ago and really wasn't the same. Oddly, I had just started to feel almost normal. Started to walk and joined a gym and lost 10 Lbs when I was diagnosed with BC
I am looking for a fighting spirit, some strength, and to get rid of negativity.
I was so on track thinking I only needed radiation and then because of mammaprint F F score of 20% they recommend chemo.
It is uplifting to see many of you have moved beyond BC
I did go to a stage 1 support group and it meets again this Monday. There are about 8 women. Not sure it is helping. One women has same Dr as me and did the chemo. She seems very strong but really wouldn't warm up to me to talk. She has some personal problems with family. Her family was coming in for Xmas and I was so envious that she was last chemo and family coming. But none of that seemed to cheer her.
So wish my Mom was living as she was so strong and would make me face all of this. My son reminds me that I am like her and I can do this. He is much more like my Mom so strong and hits everything head on.
Wishing you all the best for 2017.
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P2S, I did 4 TC's 3 yrs ago. I was 58 when DX'd. It's hard to say what your SE's will be, bc everyone is different. But, the good thing is, your MO will most likely prepare you and give you an arsenal of things to combat any SE's that come. Just make sure you address them as early as possible. I was very fortunate and my SE's were pretty minimal. Your MO will most likely check your blood levels prior to each infusion, to make sure there is nothing that would prevent your TX. Drink LOTS of water, even when it may not taste right. Walk often and stay away from sick people!:) Check on the TC threads for others experiences. I visualized myself curled up in bed for months and hurling constantly. Nothing like that at all. I worked PT and babysat grandkids, never got nauseated. Best wishes! You've got this!
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keep the faith
Thanks for all the continued support
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Positive -Below is a link for people starting chemo January 2017. I found it most helpful to interact with women who were at the same place the same time I was. You can do it. Good luck.
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Positive, I always thought of my 8 rounds of chemo ( 4 ) Adriamycin & Cytoxin and ( 4 ) Taxotere as what I needed to do to make sure I helped the Oncologist save my life. It was time-wise a pretty short time for the yrs. I already had on me ( 62 ) to spend six months doing chemo. I'd have rather been in the Bahamas's but as it didn't go that way I figured I owed it to myself and my family. I always held us together --- and in some ways they still needed me to do that -- so I did. There were some struggles, but I got through it and have been back to my regular life for many yrs. now.
This is a time like no other -- but I've always felt that I have an attitude and I can use it in ways that will help me make the best of any situation I come across. I hope you will find an attitude and let it help carry you to where you need to go.
Blessings,
Jackie
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thank you Jackie for posting.
It is so good to see someone 10 yrs out I think you have same estrogen prog and Her2 as me and I was worrying about that too. I fear I did too good of a job raising my son as he is independent and rally doesn't need me for much. My husband is 16 years older than me and I have spent for much time worrying about him and somewhat serving him. But he works everyday, his own business and really is very strong.I almost think I should get a pet I quit my full time job at 65 and it was time in that position, but I was hoping to find a more fulfilling position with less responsibility. It just didn't happen and now this.
Yes, I need to find my attitude, so very long ago I won a skating marathon...but where did that girl go
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Positive, I think we all got caught up in " not" going to happen to me. I really wasn't aware very much of how many people do get this dx. I was nearing retirement, though at the time I really felt I wouldn't be ready even when it was time. Then while I was busy being complacent and putting one foot in front of the other -- wham.
I only realized later that I was doing more drifting and less paying attention to living and making sure I enjoyed the experience. I think the classical rut was going on. So, while I'd never advise getting out of a rut by having cancer -- it did teach me that I really did value life and that has made me very grateful, even for the problems that often come along. I realized that I needed to find ways to 'grow' myself better every day if I could and I found one of the best ways was to be okay with challenges. Getting well was a BIG challenge, but I did it and now - Each day I am thankful for nights that turned into mornings, friends that turned into family, dreams that turned into reality and likes that turned into love. That is my signature line and every night I talk to the universe and express how grateful I am that I was given a chance to do over -- to notice the beauty in every day and to appreciate every breath.
We are ( I hope ) good cheer leaders here and that is one of the biggest reasons I've stayed so long.
Blessings
Jackie
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It need not discourage us if we are full of doubts. Healthy questions keep faith dynamic. In fact, unless we start with doubts we cannot have a deep-rooted faith. One who believes lightly and unthinkingly has not much of a belief. One who has a faith which is not to be shaken has won it through blood and tears--has worked his or her way from doubt to truth as one who reaches a clearing through a thicket of brambles and thorns. -Helen Keller
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Found this and thought you all might enjoy it. I've always loved the smell outside after a rain:
Can You Smell Rain? - Geosmin and Petrichor
Chemicals Responsible for the Odor of Rain and Lightning
When you smell rain or an approaching thunderstorm, it isn't the water that you smell, but chemicals from reactions caused by lightning and others produced by plants and bacteria. Wallace Garrison, Getty Images
By Anne Marie Helmenstine, Ph.D. By Anne Marie Helmenstine, Ph.D.
Updated September 14, 2016.Do you know the smell of the air before or after it rains? It isn't the water that you smell, but a mixture of other chemicals. The odor you smell before rain comes from ozone, a form of oxygen which is produced by lightning, and ionized gases in the atmosphere. The name given to the characteristic odor of rain after it rains, especially following a dry spell, is petrichor. The word petrichor comes from the from Greek, petros, meaning 'stone' + ichor, the fluid flowing in the veins of the gods in Greek mythology. Petrichor is caused primarily by a molecule called geosmin.
About Geosmin
Geosmin (meaning earth smell in Greek) is produced by Streptomyces, a Gram-positive type of Actinobacteria. The chemical is released by the bacteria when they die. It is a bicyclic alcohol with the chemical formula C12H22O. Humans are very sensitive to geosmin and can detect it at levels as low as 5 parts per trillion.
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Figured as much—now that I think of it, the air after rainfall does smell like wet stones.
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As I look back upon my youth I realize how important to me were the help, understanding and courage, the gentleness and wisdom so many people gave me.These men and women entered into my life and became powers within me. But they never knew it.Nor did I perceive the real significance of their help at the time. We all owe so much to others; and we may well ask ourselves, what will others owe to us? You may be sure, that the effect of your own life on those around you is—or can be—great indeed. - Albert Schweitzer
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Good luck to you, Positive. You can do this!
This morning I had an ultrasound of my kidneys, bone density scan, and blood work, all at an outpatient center. All ordered by the phrenologist I saw recently. When I go for my next appointment, she should be able to tell me about how well my kidneys are functioning.
The technician who did the bone density was impressed with my strong bones. My little square was well up into green normal territory. The reward for years of exercise.
Now I'm sitting in our dentist's waiting room follow an appointment with the hygienist. Dh is in the chair now.
Our several days of winter are over and we will be returning to 70's by later in the week.
Happy Monday to all
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Dentist tomorrow for me, too (because of my gums and a “Maryland bridge” lower single-tooth partial, I go 3X/yr). Likely X-rays (which I hate because the sharp edges of the film holders hurt the roof and “floor” of my mouth). Bridge coming a tad loose, so I expect a repeat visit to secure it. Hopefully, no cavities or fractured fillings.
Positively tropical today: all the way up to 32! And though tomorrow will start out “wintry mix” and then rain, we’re looking at 44! (Actual snow this weekend, boo, hiss).
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Hi gals! Got through the Holidays okay! Just so tired of the cold weather, and the big snow storms. Today it is 60, so lots of melting and MUD!
I still can hardly wait for Spring. Got lots of Pampas Grass seed to plant, and more tomatoes.... I lay awake "organizing" my garden, and where I will plant this stuff!
Positive! You are YOUNG! Hah! I was 72 when diagnosed.... I just had a Lumpectomy, stage 1 grade 2, and no chemo.... so I can't help with that one, but so many women have taken this, and you know, there are a lot newer drugs now! I'm 79 now, and doing great.... I don't feel "old"..... Some of my friends do, but I don't pay any attention to them.
I like this "poem"....I remember watching my Grandma in a nursing home.... and feeling so bad for her.... Hopefully we will all have empathy for our older folks.... My "older" friend Theresa fell yesterday.... missed her chair.... she managed to crawl over to the bathroom, to pull the "help" cord.... The "cute paramedics came, and got me on my feet!" So then she laughed.!!!! She finds humor in so many things.... so I tease her just to make her laugh....
Carole..... your Mom doing okay? And Jackie.... how is Sally? xoxo
When an old woman died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in Moosomin , Saskatchewan , it was believed that she had nothing left of any value. Later, when the nurses were going through her meager possessions, they found this poem.
Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Alberta .
The old woman's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on this simple, but eloquent, poem.
This little old woman, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.
Crabby Old Lady
What do you see nurses? . .. . What do you see?
What are you thinking .. .. .. when you're looking at me?
A crabby old lady .. .. .. not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. .. .. with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles her food .. .. .. and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice .. .. .. 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice .. .. .. the things that you do.
And forever is losing .. .. .. A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not .. .. .. lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding .. .. .. a long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? .. .. .. Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse .. . .. you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am .. .. .. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .. .. .. as I eat at your will.
I'm a small girl of Ten . .. . with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. .. .. who love one another.
A young girl of Sixteen .. .. .. with wings on her feet.
Dreaming that soon now .. .. .. a lover she'll meet.
A bride soon at Twenty .. .. .. my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. .. .. that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now .. .. .. I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide .. .. .. a secure happy home.
A woman of Thirty . .. .. My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other .. .. .. With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons .. .. .. have grown and are gone,
But my man is beside me . .. . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .. .. .. babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children .. .. .. My husband and me.
Dark days are upon me .. .. .. my husband's now dead.
I look at the future .. .. .. and shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .. .. .. young of their own.
And I think of the years .. .. . and the love that I've known.
I'm now an old woman .. . .. and nature is cruel.
'Tis jest to make old age .. .. .. look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. .. .. grace and vigor depart.
There is now a stone .. . .. where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass .. .. .. a young girl still dwells,
And now and again .. .. .. my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys .. .. .. I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living .. .. .. life over again.
I think of the years, all too few .. .. .. gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact .. .. . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. .. .. open and see.
Not a crabby old woman .. .. .. look closer .. .. .. see ME!!
Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within. We will all, one day, be there, too!
The best and most beautiful things of this world can't be seen or touched.
They must be felt by the heart.
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Thanks Chevyboy,
I have never felt old but now after this I worry about my resilience. When I mentioned my concerns to MO, she just said you look 50. Great I was hoping for 45 lol but my worries concerned weren't consoled with the flattery. My DH has continued with being upset with his business problems etc as life is just the same and maybe it is but I'm still trying to grasp it all. I think my Dx is good except that high risk mammaprint.
Tonight I will go to the support group....don't know if it helping but one women has my same Dx and she looks like she weathered chemo fine so maybe that helps.
Thanks for your support
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Your diagnosis is pretty good! You might not need chemo..... Talk to your team.... or your oncologist! Remember, it is up to you! If your DX is that good, and your onco-score is good enough, you might not need it!
My family was my support group.... and most of my friends.... I didn't go to an actually "group"..... just listened to my "new" friends on here.... people that had been through the same thing! You will be okay....!
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I went to the dentist yesterday too, getting a crown later this month.
Still dealing with plugged ears, I'm on my second Medrol pack and will be starting my 3rd zpack. If still plugged will be getting tubes Jan 19th.
Shoveled snow yesterday (only half an inch so my hired company doesn't come), more snow coming today, then down to -25 degrees Thursday night (actual temp, not wind chill)
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Puffin.... I went back looking to see what you said, if anything, about your ears being plugged up.... Sorry you are having that problem!
My PC couldn't figure out why my ears plugged up either... I just woke up one morning and couldn't hear... After she told me to treat this like "allergies" for a month, I still could not hear... Do you have an infection? Is that how they were treating it? Did they say what your problem is? My Docs could not figure out why I lost my hearing all of a sudden.
I took Tamoxifen for over a year... It is an ototoxic drug, like chemo.... And SOMEtimes, in older women, with a certain gene, this can cause hearing loss in women... like what happened to me.
Any drug can cause problems with people... warning signs even say, "may cause strokes, cataracts, etc." I had a stroke near the 8th cranial nerve in my brain..... that's all..... and it affected my auditory nerve for hearing... could have been much worse, I guess. Even too much aspirin, may cause hearing loss!
I did a lot of research, because I could not hear........ Finally went to an ENT... " Profound hearing loss:", but I then went to Costco, and have been wearing hearing aids for over 5 years. Just got my second pair!
Maybe your hearing loss is something simple, and I'm hoping they can help you with "tubes".... If you want to PM me, just drop me a line....
Now the only problem I have is with so much wax buildup .But people who wear hearing aids sometimes have this problem.... I clean my ears out myself with ear candles...... And it works.
But the whole world, including ENT's, "ear people" and everyone else wrings their hands at this notion, and says it doesn't work..... I just know it works for me.........Same as some people swear by supplements, etc...... and holistic methods.... and sometimes it works! Good luck!
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"Possessions, outward success, publicity, luxury—to me these have always been contemptible. I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind." — Albert Einstein
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