TRIPLE POSITIVE GROUP

debiann, I am deeply moved by your post, thank you. I actually red it when I woke up in the morning after I called my husband whether he has landed yet, he was on the business trip this week. Then I red about HapB's incident and just thought, oh, no.

Thank you so much, I really felt better for so many reasons. I understand that the old life is over but I do not know what the new one is supposed to be and how to find the meaning in it and most importantly how to hold to it, where to find this strength. I do not think or believe it anymore, I know that I am a worrying kind, this is completely useless but I worry a lot about what is there to come and that I am not prepared. Your tag pops in my head now and then when all these thoughts consume me. Yours and another one I saw on these boards that is actually Hagrid's quote, from Harry Potter, "No good sittin' worryin' abou' it. What's comin' will come, an' we'll meet it when it does."

I cannot say I am thankful for this bc, I am not, not there yet, I am not sure I ever will be. I am completely shocked I got it, maybe now ,after I have red a lot and start landing in my diagnosis, I understand that I had some risk factors like relatively large very dense breasts, late pregnancies, eating some pholate pills, maybe too much wine consumation, but on the other hand, I was exercising a lot lately, ate a lot of vegetables, we had this combucha mushroom that is considered to possess some anti-cancerogene qualities. So, here I am prepared to do any chemo they offer me and want to know how to prevent it from coming back and feeling no power and no control. And even worse, I regret the past so much, what I did, what I should have done, or that it is gone and life will never feel the same. Yesterday I was looking at the pictures from my birthday three years ago when we took a shorter city trip, I burst into tears that this feeling of security and happiness is completely gone and over and oh, I looked so beautiful. I remember it so well, I asked myself whether I could enjoy it more than I did and I couldn't, it was so perfect. Never in my life I thought that I will be going through all the pictures trying to remember the good old days so soon in my life. My youngest looks so little on these pictures, i am afraid she would not remember much and I may not be around to tell her, my husband's memory is not that reliable. I took my life for granted before and now it is threatened. I keep telling her that I love her and that she always must remember that. I do not know why I am doing it to myself, I want to believe it is a part of the acceptance process.

I also remember you once wrote about a woman in your neighborhood who got hit by a car and died when you got diagnosed. All you wrote about a lot of things being worse than bc is true and I am grateful for what I have but as all of us I am afraid to lose it. I am grateful for all advise and will try, like deni1661, to make a list in my head and to recite it every morning, things I am grateful for, my kids, my husband, for my mom who has stayed with us since my surgery, it must be so hard for her, my job and my manager, for my cat that is there by my side as often as she can with her enigmatic look in her eyes, the fact that I moved to a country that can provide the best available treatment for me, for my oncologist who in spite of me being so PITA , she did very politely admit that the last time, in spite of that she looked at me and said that her one and only goal is to make me free from this disease, and she wished she could give me a 0,000001 risk but she couldn't but in any scenario they will not just let me go. And I am so grateful for your endless patience with my constant ranting and for any token of compassion I will receive in the future.

SpecialK, when we were discussing my further treatment and all pro/cons for starting EC I red to her what you wrote to me regarding my possible treatment change. And my oncologist answer was: well, I am impressed that this lady took her time to write to you a so competent and detailed answer. My oncologist is not just a doctor, she is a consulting doctor, a grade between a specialist and a professor.

Sorry for the rant, again, thank you for your reaction

Hap ... Please get medically checked after your incident.

Make sure your car is still aligned and the frame is not damaged.

Vicky

HapB you should be in shock, did you able to get some shut eyes last night? Yes we are blessed every morning, there are so much crazy things going on, we can get into any kind of accident. Take care your body have it check up please.

HapB I was so sorry to read about your accident. I really hope you are okay and not suffering from any serious after effects?

Cherry-sw I know exactly how you feel. The thoughts about re-occurrence and getting worse are with me too. I try to stop them in their tracks and a lot of the time I do, but there are plenty of days when I can’t shake them off. I am hoping as time moves on the negative thoughts will lessen and the positive thoughts will take over. We are still in the very early stages of coming to terms with our illness. I have to believe in the days and months ahead life will be better for all of us.

I haven’t posted for a while on here as I don’t want to always complain and moan about the issues I have had with my wound. And that’s what I feel I have been doing constantly.

It’s 7 months since my first surgery followed by a 2nd lumpectomy 2 weeks later and my wound still has a dressing on it. It has never healed “properly” and since my radium finished over 2 weeks ago I have been told there is an infection and I am now on 2 different antibiotics. I feel worse now than I ever have since the start of my treatment. And to really rub salt in the wound I am supposed to be going to Glasgow for a few days break next week and have been looking forward to it for so long. Now it looks like my sisters and Mum will be heading off without me.

Ever feel like running away people??? I hope tomorrow is a better day 😔😔

GlasglowGirl, please don't stay away because you think you are complaining and moaning. It is very important to be able to talk and put things out there. Having your feelings and talking about them is exactly what will move you forward.

HapB, did you see your doctor? I hope you have not sustained any injuries, please keep us posted

HapB,

Wow! what an ordeal. Yes, sometimes we just should feel doubly-blessed. Last night, a tornado hit a concert my daughter was attending. No injuries, just damage to the roof on the building, thank God.

Glasgowgirl -- Ugh about the lack of healing! How frustrating for you. Yes, just vent as much as you want. You, too, Cherry! Better to just let it all out to some sympathetic ears.

coachvicky, triple positive is truly a marathon that tries the patience and the goodwill of all of us. I sometimes think it helps if you break it down into segments, mentally. "Radiation done! Got that checked off the list."

My best to all!

Glasgow - so sorry to hear your wound hasn't healed yet. That sounds like a terrible ordeal. 7 months is a long time and I can only imagine how frustrating this must be.

As the others said before me don't ever feel like you're complaining. This is the best place to share what you're going through. I find this group to be the most comforting resource I have since most people in my world cannot relate to what I'm feeling. We're in this together for the long haul.

Sending prayers that things get much better for you soon. Hugs

HapB, haut les coeurs!

Glascowgirll99, what an ordeal! Please feel free to rant lots and often. Very frustrating for you. Sending positive healing thoughts. Please keep up posted.

Good evening,

Happy Sunday night! I just started chemo this week and wondered if anyone who has taken L Glutamine during TCH chemo can share what their dosage was if they took it everyday during treatment or just a few days before and after? Appreciate it, thank you very much. My oncologist is on board but I am curious about the protocols. I have seen recommendations for 4 days afterwards to the entire course of treatment

LA1986 - I took l-glutamine four days a week on weekly taxol. 15 grams in the morning and 15 grams in the evening. 15 grams is about a heaping tablespoon. I also took 100 mg of B6. It seemed to work for me - or maybe I wouldn't have gotten bad neuropathy anyway. Who knows? The chemo nurse suggested waiting until I had symptoms before starting since neuropathy doesn't hit everyone. I ended up with just some mild tingling.

hap - glad you're ok, that had to be scary!

la1986 - I had 6 TCH and took both L-Glutamine and B6. I took 30g of L-Glutamine in 3 daily servings of 10g each. I dissolved it in a cold, non-acidic drink - heat and acid can denature the powder. It is pretty tasteless so you can disguise it easily, but don't mix it with pudding or applesauce and try to eat it. Trust me on this, lol! I took a 100mg capsule of B6. I took both of these supplements throughout chemo.

CCNC

My heart had a baseline and checked two other times. My scores increased each time so I did not have a final one.

Coach Vicky

T-Sue, love the picture and the spirit, your boy looks just like you, very sweet. How old is he, if I may ask? Those who are posting pictures actually look good, I really look bad, completely unrecognizable to myself. Yesterday I cut what was left of my hair, it was not much I kind of looked like Gollum but some hair stuck out when I had my hat on. Now it is gone and I do look hideous, so sick and aged like 10 years

Cherry

CCNC, I also had a baseline eccocardiogram before herceptin. My MO requests an ecco every three months while on herceptin for a year. 

Cherry, thanks! My son is 9yo. I had a Gollum look for awhile too - I think the buzz cut looked better. Getting some colorful scarves and new, bright lipstick helped me look better and feel better. Also, I don't recall my doctor's asking about radiation exposure.