How do you feel about the "battle" terminology used about managing a breast cancer diagnosis?
How do you feel about the battle terminology (fight, warrior, strong) used about managing a breast cancer diagnosis?
Take our poll and share your experiences below.
How do you feel about the "battle" terminology used about managing a breast cancer diagnosis? 22 votes
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Comments
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I don't understand it. I'm not fighting. It's magic to me. I'm hopefully optimistic. It's a different lifestyle managing this disease. And all the doctor/ researchers did the work. They've come a long way since I was first dx. And a long way again between my metastatic dx and tnbc dx.
Many have suffered and died, but is that fighting? Fighting suggests an attitude I spose that they have to fight to win and live. But often they dont and they've done everything they could. To suggest they didn't fight hard enough and died? Nope. Never understood it.
My friend suggested I was a strong fighter. Huh? I'm arming myself with knowledge, not that it'll do much good to save my life.
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Thanks, @gailmary for your post. This resonates for sure with so many! We appreciate you sharing.
Keep them coming!0 -
Other (share below)
I agree with Gail. I "fight" the cancer but mainly with my attitude and caring for my body during the therapy. The terms "warrior" and "strong" don't resonate with me, although I understand where they come from. I just did the best I could, prayed, and left it in God's hands. I appreciate the support of others, but I am not a pink ribbon poster child. Breast cancer happened to me, it doesn't define me.
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I’ve been going through treatment this past year and I agree I don’t feel much like a fighter. You don’t have much choice other than go through the treatments and pray. I guess the treatments are a way to “fight” this disease and not let it win, but I also see that it is a fight to stay positive and keep going when you’re dealing with multiple surgeries, meds, and chemo. It’s so hard on your body & mind and you do have to remain strong and keep going even when you feel terrible. Sometimes being strong is just not giving in. It’s been a year long process and I’m finally done with surgeries and chemo, so I guess the term “war” eludes that this isn’t a quick battle and requires months or years of treatment, monitoring, side effects management, doctor visits, etc. I like to think of myself as a survivor and that gives me peace. I do have to fight off the worry of this coming back, but it’s in God’s hands and I’ll keep surviving as long as I can.
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Other (share below)
I found out I had Breast Cancer in June so I am fairly new to this. I have an issue with people saying keep fighting as if the people who have died from breast cancer just weren't fighting hard enough. That term just bothers me. I am doing the things I feel will help me along in my journey, to me that is fighting doesn't mean that all the other people who have died during their journey were not fighting they were doing the best they could. That's just how I feel about that term.
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Other (share below)
I have given much thought to some of these terms in months past, after hearing someone in the support group talk about being angry. Others would say. . ."but I'm a fighter." When we use aggressive terms, we are inclined to encourage aggressive emotions in ourselves. Aggression is an energy drain. I have never wanted to fight; because fighting doesn't solve anything. My response to my cancer diagnosis was resignation and searching for information so I could understand my risks and what I could do to keep them as low as possible. Nevertheless, it was definitely more than a logical approach. Many emotions since then—primarily sadness when I developed lymphedema. The things I can do to keep that from worsening have required a change in priorities to make time for exercises, drainage routines, etc. I'm in this for the long haul, and I can't allow myself to give up. I'm just 16 months into this experience. My cancer seems minor when I consider the burdens of others; but there is no guarantee that it will stay simple. Gailmary and jodom expressed my feelings so well, so I won't try to add more.
Age 72 Invasive ductal carcinoma, E+ P+ Stage 1 Grade 2, lumpectomy, tamoxifen. . . anastrozole
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I am not a soldier or defence personnel. I did not choose to have this disease. I deal with it on a day to day basis, doing the best I can - as I have done all my life. It is what it is. But I get very tired of being told how strong I am - cos I am not. I am just me, and if I could get off this particular train I would, but that is not an option.
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Exhausted, oppressed, overwhelmed, or burdened
I appreciate all of the support but I/we really don’t have a choice in the matter. I don’t feel like any of the things mentioned in question being voted on. I may look like I’m “strong, brave etc” but I’m far from it. Thank y’all for all that you do!🩷
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Many of you have said it well. For me, the biggest problem with warrior, fighter, etc. is that when people progress or die , the implication is that they didn’t fight hard enough. In general, I dislike all of the war/pugilistic references especially when the enemy we’re “fighting” has no known cure, just the absence of recurrence. Fighting hard has little to do with who recurs, progresses or dies as we have seen here over the years.
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Empowered, motivated, inspired, or hopeful
I disagree with a lot you that have commented. I embrace the "fighter" and "warrior" mentality. You may not feel like you're fighting, but yet most of you in your own words have talked about persevering through, no choice in the matter, carrying on. Well guess what? Those ARE fighting and warrior words. It's not to say those who have passed from this disease did not fight…they did. Are actual soldiers who died and fought in an actual war described as "not fighting"? No, they're not. Win or lose, you are fighting. Want to or not, you are fighting. Don't lessen it just because you don't want this "fight". None of us want cancer. But by golly I will do whatever I need to in order to kill it. Yes, I am a fighter. I am strong. I am a warrior. Why? The definition of warrior explains it best…
noun
1. a person engaged or experienced in warfare; soldier
2. a person who shows or has shown great vigor, courage, or aggressiveness, as in politics or athletics4 -
beekay,
We all embrace our own views and terminology. We choose not to use fighting and warrior words. We are not lessening anything and “want it or not” is not going to convince those of us who do not embrace pugilistic terms to embrace them. You give an excellent definition of warrior but there is connotation as well which can be of significance to many.
Please feel free to embrace those terms if those feel right for you but understand that others may not share your feelings.
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Battle language makes no sense to me. Once diagnosed there is very little I can actively do about it. Im at the mercy of the Doctors treatment plan. I’m not fighting anything, I get up everyday take my meds, go to my appts and pray that God will heal me.
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I am still in the stunned stage. I'm taking care of my husband who has Lewy body dementia. Now this. I'm rather numb. I'm the one who does everything in the family, Paying bills, organizing appointments, all the driving. Luckily, my daughter helps me with some of the more laborious tasks like laundry but doesn't drive yet and has a chronic condition herself. No time to cry about what nature has handed me. Waiting for oncotype results to see if I will need chemo as well as radiation. Which I will be driving myself to. Imagine having a husband who stares all day and can't provide any emotional support. At least he is still continent. Apparently, I have the highly treatable type of cancer, so count myself lucky. Trying to maintain a positive attitude. And take care of my health and that of my husband. I'm sending healing thoughts to all.
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I think you’ve hit the nail on the head! Beside generally maintaining good health habits and following your treatment plan, how does one battle?
I’ve lived with mbc for 13 years. I have seen people do lots of complementary therapy on top of conventional tx, and others who have done nothing more than prescribed tx, and everything in between. Ultimately, there has been no rhyme nor reason with regard to who recurred/progressed or died. I started out “fighting” so to speak, i.e.diet overhaul, juicing, supplements, etc. I already led a fairly healthy lifestyle and still got dx’ed with stage IV so I decided to do what makes me happy and not spend my days warring or fighting anything! I’m still here, with no progression at stage IV. The real problem with “fighting” is that bc has many variations and far too many unknowns with respect to the disease itself. It becomes problematic because we are still quite blind as to what we’re actually fighting due to these unknowns.
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Other (share below)
I feel more like a swimmer. I’m going to keep swimming as long as I can. Sometimes I feel tired and I need to rest. Sometimes the water is fine and everything is moving well. I can appreciate my will to keep trying and moving until I can’t. I know that things beyond control affect me. The water may be too hot or too cold. It can become contaminated. Those external factors may result in my body being unable to keep going. If I stop swimming, I haven’t failed or lost a battle, fight, or war. If there is a “war” analogy, it’s more like I’m a low ranking soldier. I “soldier on” but most factors that may stop my march are beyond my control. I do think going through treatment and beyond takes effort that those without cancer can’t fully appreciate. I also know there are many living with neurodegenerative conditions, treatment resistant mental illnesses, and other life tragedies that have experiences that I can only imagine.
My biggest gripe about the battle analogy is the implication that if we don’t survive it’s because we gave up a fight. Or we weren’t “enough” of a fighter. However, if feeling like a warrior or fighter is helpful to a person, I fully support them. For me, being aware that what I can control is limited is what makes me able to live without thinking of cancer all day and every day. And I’m very happy for these years and months now when that’s possible.2
