Recurrence after 10 years?
Hello,
Dx'd with TN cancer 10/27/2015, and then with uterine cancer in 2020. This week, I was taking a shower and felt a lump in my right breast. It is painful to the touch, and it is as though the tissue around the marble-sized lump has disappeared. I know I don't know for sure, but I know —I am sure you all know what I mean.
I am beside myself and can't tell anyone. I can't tell my daughters because I can't put them through this again. I can't tell my husband because I don't want him to worry if (I hope and pray) I am wrong. I can't tell my friends and family for the same reason. I am stuck with my fear and panic and have no one to tell me it'll be okay or talk me off the ledge. I am seeing my breast oncologist next week (Tuesday) and have a routine mammogram in 10 days. I know that I am lucky to be seeing someone so quickly, but I don't know what to do with my fear, and I am scared. Really scared.
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Hi @citrinetiff
Very sorry you have made your way back here.
It really is frightening to have to deal with all of this once again when you thought it was over and in the past. It's a real gut punch. That being said, you don't know what you don't know. You need to take a deep breath. Take things one step at a time. Maybe this is 'something', maybe it is not.
If it does turn out to be bc again, you've 'got ' this. You've been here before. You are so much more educated then when you were the first 2 times. It really sucks that some of us have bodies that seem to really know how to allow cancer to thrive, but all we can do is fight back when it happens.
It's ok to feel angry and scared. You came to the right place for people to talk you off the ledge. We are here for you. We will help you get through this again if it turns out you need us. Try to put it out of your mind (hard as that is) until Tuesday and do something you enjoy to get past the waiting.
Take Care.
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Hello @citrinetiff ,
I'm so very sorry to hear that you are in the position of 'unknown, but what if' again.
The fear is very real. And please know that we are here for you and with you. I've had a few things that have popped up in my own journey. One thing that I've been left with besides trying to navigate everything is anxiety that shows up. Alot. I do have a rescue medication that helps me deal with it and there are times I have to take it. This would be one of those times for me, if I were you. What it does for me is help me not dwell on the issue and be able to get through the day. It's the best way to describe it. Some days you just need to get through. I'm glad you have an appointment on Tuesday. But I hear you. You're not at next Tuesday. Yet. What is something positive you can focus on today? One of the lessons this has helped me learn is that in a lot of this, the only thing I can control is my own reaction to something when I feel so very lost. I'm sending you the biggest hug I can right now. Amanda
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@citrinetiff, we're so sorry you’re facing this fear again. As you can see, you’re not alone here, and you can lean on this wonderful community. It’s completely natural to feel scared, but you’ve shown so much strength already.
In the waiting period for your appointment, try to focus on things that will bring you peace as well as keep you from thinking about the worst-case scenario.
We’re sending you love, support, and hugs, and we’ll be here for you.
The Mods
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Thank you, everyone. Of course you’re right that I don’t know, and that I need to take it one day at a time. I will take that tranquilizer, though! lol.
Your support means the world to me. Thank you. 🥰🥰1
