Poll: How do you manage hard feelings and moments?

moderators
moderators Posts: 10,007
in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

With spring here, some days feel a bit lighter, and some are really hard.

There's the version of you that you share at the spring barbecue, the family dinner, the "how are you doing" in the parking lot. And then there's the real one.

The side effects no one warned you about. The urgent bathroom runs that mean canceling plans at the last minute, again. The text you don’t send because it’s too hard to explain.

All of us are carrying some version of this. And most of us don't have somewhere to put it down.

That's what this space is here for. A place to put it down.

No filtering. No holding it together. Just say the thing — and hear "me too" from people who already get it.

This April, we're opening the door a little wider.

Whatever you haven't said out loud yet, bring it here. You don't have to have the right words.

So, tell us in the poll and thread below:

What do you do with the hard feelings and moments?

Poll: How do you manage hard feelings and moments? 25 votes

Talk to a close friend or partner
16%
rrobin0200kikimcgeeajbecvol 4 votes
Bring it to my care team
0%
Share in an online community like this one
0%
Share in my support group(s)
0%
Journal, meditate, and/or exercise
16%
peggyanneskyresq1lanalynjscs95 4 votes
Discuss with a therapist or counselor
4%
windinthetree 1 vote
Acknowledge and release the emotions with a healthy scream, shout, or cry
0%
I mostly keep it to myself
48%
orknitterponderosaamye652uhohitscancerjuly31tracym0705texasbelle9cosun10missymoovee1215lynnevillelaramckinney 12 votes
I'm not sure yet
0%
I could be better at exploring healthier ways to manage my emotions
16%
creativezoolaurabrentrniseeeeambivalent 4 votes

Comments

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 10,007

    Thank you all for sharing so far!

    @texasbelle9, welcome to our community! What you're experiencing with your friends and loved ones is very common - so common there's a term for it: Cancer ghosting.

    You can learn about it here and listen to this podcast episode about how to manage this hurtful reaction to your situation.

    You're not alone here and we've got your back!

    —The Mods

  • laurabrentrn
    laurabrentrn Posts: 2
    I could be better at exploring healthier ways to manage my emotions

    I was diagnosed 3 years ago and thought if I made it through the chemo, bilateral mastectomy and radiation, multiple attempts at reconstruction and finally a DIEP flap, I would be done. I am horrified that my life was forever changed. Radiation damaged my right upper lobe and the entire radiation field. I am disfigured from the radiation fibrosis and lymphedema. I worked full time through the entire treatment and continue to do so but the fatigue is overwhelming. I think daily that I will stop the Verzenio due to side effects, but at least I only have 8 more months of it. I think I have lost 30% of my normal function and wonder how long until I can't continue to work full time. No one warned me, no one has any idea on how to "fix" the radiation damage that is pulling my right shoulder forward and pulling my jaw down. The thought the diagnosis was terrible, but now I think living with the aftermath may be worse. Everyone I work with tells me how good I look and how tough I am. Im not tough, I just haven't given up yet.

  • uhohitscancer
    uhohitscancer Posts: 1
    I mostly keep it to myself

    @texasbelle9 @windinthetree @laurabrentrn @lynneville


    I so understand a lot of what you’ve been through and are still going through. I’ve felt the same way and it’s validating in a way to know I’m not alone / negative / lacking in some way. Thank you all for sharing.

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