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Jun 20, 2020 01:29PM
Hi All. FINAL POST: We have smile and laugh our way through this time period, with Joy, Love, Lightness, and lots of Life Is Good tee shirts! "BREATH, The Universe is taking care of every thing else." "Life is not easy. Life is not perfect. Life is Good." We've had "un-Birthdays celebrations, (mine is in August). DH suggested we "Renew Our Wedding Vows", which we did 2-months early (6th-Anniversary is in August, too). Movie: Diane Keaton in "POMS"! I've asked everyone to think of me on April Fools Day, 4/1 each year, and Laugh with me at our foibles, for a fresh year start. : )
Quit Faslodex 4/6/20, ONC said "your meds aren't working..." With that direct look.
Last Zometa Infusion 5/4, to support a few more weeks of daily Letrozol, that was helping my Lung Mets. I was still afraid of SOB/Suffocating!
Oh Good, I Can Finally Quit the medicines!! Era of Covid, so family moved me home from Independent Living by mid- April, to our beautiful 4-acre Garden of Eden with my DH. Hired Personal Chef through HH/Home Health.
Hospice and Continuous Flow Oxygen started 5/13/20, plus 2 Inhalers to keep my SOB/Shortness of breath and breathing going. (Does this count as no meds? Hospice pays 100% : )
Bed ridden by 5/20/20.Today Happy Solstice! I can't lift myself or walk alone, Liver Mets (Dx 2/6/20) have taken over, with Lymph and Bone mets. I have only taken 1/4 dose of *Morphene twice (3.5 ml), "to take the edge off" of the pain, so that I can work with Observing the changing nature of the impermanence of the body, with Equanimity, non-evaluation.
* Taking morphene was a big issue in my family (urging that I must!). My Hospice Team, and my Senior Meditation Teachers (many with medical backgrounds) all emphatically encourage "taking the edge off" so that I can work my practice as pain management. They are all very impressed and inspired how well it is working.
Today, Happy Solstice! Now: Jaundice. Kidneys and Liver have failed,digestion has shut down; Ammonia is flooding my body, causing brain confusion... These letters dance on the page...
We have just 5 or so days to go, maybe a coma. I've said all of my farewells and good byes, even to my brothers. THIS time period is for deep meditation. Many Vipassana Teachers come to meditate with us. My DH and DD are by my side. This is OUR sweet and precious Time, before my Special Journey. I expect to be reborn.
Love to you all, on your journeys, my Spirit Sisters on BCO, may they be joyful. farewell, Signing out, Diane Grace (Grace DD).
1/1992, DCIS, Right, 1cm, Stage 0, metastasized to bone/other, Grade 2, 2/11 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
7/30/2006 Mastectomy: Right
8/2006, DCIS, Right, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2-
9/2016, Right, 1cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/lungs/other, ER+/PR+, HER2-
7/8/2017 Femara (letrozole)
Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary