Taxotere, Carboplatin and Herceptin
Comments
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Aly: I'm like you - and I wish that I could be more in denial also. Any pain, cough, and I'm on the mets boards and sites, scaring the crap out of myself. I had myself so stressed before the initial PET scan that I had shooting pains running down my arms from the tension - which all went away when I got the all clear.
I can handle the mastectomy and se's from the chemo, and none of that is as bad to me as the fear.
On that cheery note, I know that all will go well tomorrow with your port insertion. You'll be fine, and getting an iv through the port is so much easier than a vein.
Sue
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Aly: I hope you read this before port time. Please take a deep breath and know that what you're doing (the port) is just going to make your subsequent treatments easier. And as for the building wave of "cyberhypochondriasis", or making ourselves sick reading scary crap on the internet, I want to interject an element of faith. Let's all believe that we're doing all that we can do, place faith in whatever or Whomever we are able, and live each day to the very fullest. And let's believe that I can walk my own talk:) I am hereby banning myself from random scanning of medical websites for the duration of my treatment. Those websites are similar to PET scans in that what shows up isn't too discriminating, causing a lot of unnecessary concern.
OK, Nan. Are you out there? Here we go. Begin with the slow, church organ intro (a la Rolling Stones):
I saw her last Tuesday in the office
With a bright pink scarf upon her head.
She asked which way to find the bathroom
With a look of terror mixed with dread.
(I said...)
"You can't always keep down what you swallow.
You can't always keep down what you swallow.
You can't always keep down what you swallow.
But if you try sometimes, you just might find...
You keep what you need."
I had a couple more verses I thought up a few days ago while I was taking a walk, but I lost them during my pissed off/depressed period. I hope they'll come back.
Good night my friends. Let's follow Donalee's example and read Stephen King. He's a helluva lot less scary than webmd!0 -
Aly,
Keep the faith girl! We're in this together!
Shel,
Love the song!!! I want more verses!!!
Donalee
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Must be something in the air, because all of a sudden I'm feeling panicy. I've been strong for a long time truly believing that once I get through this I'll be cancer free for the rest of my life. Now I have huge doubts. I keep reading posts from woman who are not going to make it and it makes me sad and scared to death.
Right now I have an ingrown toenail thats killing me, my knee I had surgery on 9 months ago is getting bad again. One of my dogs has diarrhea and I had to let him out 3 times during the night. Even though I was down a couple of pounds 2 weeks ago, Ive been eating horribly (since I'm down and things taste good) and I feel like a fat pig.
I'm also dreading how sick I get days 4 through 10, but I'm even more worried that I won't be able to have my 5th treatment at all tomorrow because of the blood work that I have this afternoon. The doc I seen Friday warned me it was a possiblity. Plus the house we moved out of 2-1/2 years ago finally sold and the closing is Thursday. Thanks to the economy we sold it for peanuts and it makes me sick. We lived there over 20 years and miss things about it. Maybe if a loving family with kids moved it I'd feel better, instead of a divorced man who told us he plans on living there til the economy is better and then sell it to make money. The whole thing really bothers me. But then what doesn't these days!!! I need to snap out of it but I don't know how.
I have a million things to do today to get ready to be sick, how much fun is that. Hope most of you are doing better than I am. Have a good day, sorry I was such a downer. Mary
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P.S. at the risk of sounding like an idiot, what do people mean about getting tatoo's? I know what a tatoo is, but what are they refering to when they talk about BC. Duh, Mary
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Mary,,,,,,,,,,,,tatoos are little tiny pinpoint tatoos that they put on you around your breast before you get radiation. They do that so everytime you get radiation it is lined up just perfect for the area to be radiated. Its no big deal,,,,,,,,they are very small.
Kasia,,,,,,,,,I am soooooo sorry you have to be going thru this again. My thoughts are with you. I am sending you positive vibes that you will kick this cancer again ,,,,,and for it to never ever come back.
As far as reading recurrance posts,,,,,,,,,,,,,I dont even go there at all. If that ever happens to me,,,,,then I will read up on it. But for now......I just feel that I have been doing the right thing for myself. My thought is,,,,,,,,,,why read and get myself in a tizzy over something that hasnt happened yet (and hopefully never does) but if it does,,,,,,,,,I will deal with it then. It is sad to see women having to deal with it a second or third time,,,,just doesnt seem fair you know?
Hang in there Mary. When things are going bad,,,,,,I always tell myself that someone is having a worse time than me,,,,,,and I should feel grateful.
Aly,,,,,,,,,Good luck with your port. You will be glad you had one put in. It makes things soooooooooo much easier. It'll be fine girl.
Shel,,,,,,,,,I sure hope you are writing all these songs down. It would be a cool thing to write a book with all of your songs in it relating to breast cancer. Think about it ok? I'd buy one. I could be your first customer. lol
Hang in there ladies. It'll all be over soon. See that light at the end of the tunnel? I sure do for you all. It's there,,,,,,,,trust me.
Cindy
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Mary: Since I have had a mastectomy, my "tatoo" will be after my implants are all there and the "nipple" has been made out of the skin that came from my back in March and everything, and my wonderful artistic plastic surgeon puts on the finishing touch...the pink coloring in the nipple to match the "real one" on the other side.
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No more scary visits to websites dealing with things I can't control. Right now I'm doing everything to kick cancer's butt, and that's the best I can do.
My best friend at work was diagnosed last summer, and we always crack up that if our students knew that the two of us (50+ English teachers) would be getting tatoos in 2008 (hers for rads, mine for reconstruction), they'd NEVER believe it!
Aly, hope the port installation went well and best wishes to all TCH ladies.
Sue
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Alright people. Welcome me to the "hairs on my pillow" club! Ugh!
It's 15 days since my first chemo and the hair is leaving! Should I just jump in there and shave? or prolong the torture and let it come out? I'm leanin toward shaving.
Donalee
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My hair started falling out at day 14. I can still remember the first time I ran my fingers through the longest part and had 8 to 10 strands in my hand; it made me sick. I put up with it for 2 more weeks. I had hair in my mouth through the night. I started sleeping with a sleep cap and had to roll a lint-brush on it every day. It was every where. I kept hacking at the longest parts until it was so gross I couldn't stand it and then I had my daughter shave it. If I were to do it over again I wouldn't wait so long, it's gonna all go and it's annoying until it's shaved. I actually had her buzz it down to 1/4" and I still have that left. I'm only bald around the edges of where the wig rubs. It never itches or bothers me, so it's kind of nice to know I'm not completely bald and with it being 3 weeks since my 4th TCH I doubt if I'll loose my peach fuzz. Good luck with your decision. Mary
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Aly: I hope the port insertion went well.
Donalee: I'm sorry to hear you are facing the great follicular fallout. I think you will get differing opinions on what to do. I was in denial (as usual) and thought it might not all fall out, so I didn't shave my head. Only about 90% fell out :-) I lovingly took care of my "hair" until after my last chemo when I cut it all really short so I could watch the new growth come in. I didn't have enough to do a Donald Trump combover, but I kept it. I think I also didn't want stubblies -- people said they made their heads itch.
The light at the end of this tunnel? I shaved my legs on Friday and checked this AM and they aren't ready for a shave again yet. Maybe tomorrow......
But if someone does see my eyebrows, please send them home. I promise not to pluck....
Terri.
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It is about day 14/15 from my first treatment (depending on when you start counting). I had planned all along to buzz my hair this past weekend before it started falling out in clumps. However, when the day came I had cold feet and was thinking that maybe I could hold onto it just one more week. So....I thought I would give it a tug to see if it was still attached to my head. I tugged here...nothing. I tugged there...nothing. So I thought I would keep it. Then I gave it another try in another location, but a small clump of hair came out. I thought...maybe that was just a fluke so I did it again and the same thing happened. Now mind you I wasn't yanking so hard as to pull hair out by the roots and if it was anchored it would not have come lose so I assume that it would have soom begun to come out on its ow. My hubby was leaving town on business and I didn't want to get stuck with buzzing my hair one morning before work so I got him to do it. I wore a wig to work Monday and was the talk of the office. But my hair without a wig is very yukky!! Short and prickly feeling. I'm not sure at what rate it's coming out because the hairs are so so short. I am not going bald fast enough to see it, at least not yet. So I think to myself should I have tried to baby it another week? I have noticed that I seem to be losing hair in other places rather quickly. I think you should do whatever you are comfortable with....buzz or not buzz.
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Aly: I hope the port insertion went well.
Donalee: I'm sorry to hear you are facing the great follicular fallout. I think you will get differing opinions on what to do. I was in denial (as usual) and thought it might not all fall out, so I didn't shave my head. Only about 90% fell out :-) I lovingly took care of my "hair" until after my last chemo when I cut it all really short so I could watch the new growth come in. I didn't have enough to do a Donald Trump combover, but I kept it. I think I also didn't want stubblies -- people said they made their heads itch.
The light at the end of this tunnel? I shaved my legs on Friday and checked this AM and they aren't ready for a shave again yet. Maybe tomorrow......
But if someone does see my eyebrows, please send them home. I promise not to pluck....
Terri.
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Hi Ladies,
I am new here, but have been reading for awhile, and feel like you all are so friendly. I too, had a bunch of hair pull out this week-end. It has been 16 days after first chemo. I thought well, it didn't look to bad, I thought I still had enough to at least wait for a few more days. Until my husband started lifting it up here and there and made me realize, it wasn't going to last much longer, I shaved it off. Man, that was hard. I cryed, I thought ,here I am one breast, no hair, a port under my skin. And to top it off a pot belly. (which has nothing to do with cancer, but hey, might as well throw it in.) then i get on here and read , and find sometimes we all go through the blues, and I didn't feel all alone. and i felt better. I send all my heart to all of you and together we will get there.
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Here's the beginning of a new song. Remember "Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah. Here I am at Camp Granada?" (Dates me, doesn't it?) Well, here goes:
Aunt Begonia, Uncle Nemo,
I'm writing this note from Camp Chemo.
I'm on steroids-they think I'm witty.
It's just too bad they cut off my right titty.
More later...have to scoop a dead toad out of the aquarium.0 -
HAhahahah!!! That was great! Just what I needed!!
Thanks Shel!
Donalee
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Back to Camp Granada...
The infusion--it was nasty.
Gave me too much carbo-plasty!
The herceptin makes my nose run.
Will somebody please, please send me my blowgun!
Now I'm trying to remember how the bridge goes. Might have to google it. Catch you on the flip side.0 -
To heck with the bridge for now. Here's another verse:
I am losing all my hair-a.
That is thanks to taxo-tera.
Don't know which end needs unloading,
Think my stomach and my bowels could be exploding!
Somebody help me with that bridge, will yah?0 -
From BusSongs.com
Hello muddah, hello faddah
Here I am at Camp Granada
Camp is very entertaining
And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining.I went hiking with Joe Spivy
He developed poison ivy
You remember Leonard Skinner
He got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner.All the counselors hate the waiters
And the lake has alligators
And the head coach wants no sissies
So he reads to us from something called Ulysses.How I don't want this should scare ya
But my bunkmate has malaria
You remember Jeffrey Hardy
They're about to organize a searching party.Take me home, oh muddah, faddah
Take me home, I hate Granada
Don't leave me out in the forest where
I might get eaten by a bear.
Take me home I promise I will not make noise
Or mess the house with other boys.
Oh please don't make me stay
I've been here one whole day.Dearest faddah, darling muddah,
How's my precious little bruddah
Let me come home, if you miss me
I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me.Wait a minute, it's stopped hailing.
Guys are swimming, guys are sailing
Playing baseball, gee that's better
Muddah, faddah kindly disregard this letter.Is there a bridge in there?
Anyway, I wanted to mention that the latest Newsweek has some articles on cancer on the Health pages. In particular, you may be interested in some questions and answers by Dr. Julie K. Silver (Dana-Farber Cancer Institute). She is a breast cancer survivor. She talks about 'emotional-ambush situations'. Her advice "the first thing you have to do is recognize that whatever information that you just took in does not directly affect you and you simply can't take it on as a personal concern." "so what i do is pay attention to how information affects my mood, and when i'm suddenly feeling worried or anxious about my own cancer history, I ask myself whether this new information has any bearing on my diagnosis or prognosis. When the answer is no, .... I push it out of my mind and concentrate on other things."
Avoid the article on "Lifestyle, Genes and Cancer". As many have mentioned we still get cancer when we live healthy lifestyles and don't carry the (known) genes.
Terri.
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TO all you ladies experiencing hot flashes check out HARALEE.com. They make jammies out of a wicking material that my dh bought me when I was going thru menopause. THEY SAVED MY LIFE! Anyway, I just had to dig them out of the back of the bureaU-I think it is the Decadron that is giving me hot flashes again. I am so happy I have them. They really help keep you cool. their slogan is "cool garments for hot women". It was very funny when my husband bought them for me. We were going to be with his mom for Christmas so he had them shipped there and mom thought they were for her. Well, until she discovered she couldn't get into them and then saw the slogan. Of course, she didn't realize that the hot women part was referring to menopause....
I had my first TCH on June 8. it hasn't been too bad. tired on and off and a stomach ache often. I hope it is all this easy. Still sporting all my hair, but not hopeful in that department. I've got a million head coverings-I just don't know if I will be able to wear the wig. TOO SELF CONSCIOUS. Which is ridiculous, of course, i see women are wearing wigs and just think they look cute so why should i fret?0 -
TO all you ladies experiencing hot flashes check out HARALEE.com. They make jammies out of a wicking material that my dh bought me when I was going thru menopause. THEY SAVED MY LIFE! Anyway, I just had to dig them out of the back of the bureaU-I think it is the Decadron that is giving me hot flashes again. I am so happy I have them. They really help keep you cool. their slogan is "cool garments for hot women". It was very funny when my husband bought them for me. We were going to be with his mom for Christmas so he had them shipped there and mom thought they were for her. Well, until she discovered she couldn't get into them and then saw the slogan. Of course, she didn't realize that the hot women part was referring to menopause....
I had my first TCH on June 8. it hasn't been too bad. tired on and off and a stomach ache often. I hope it is all this easy. Still sporting all my hair, but not hopeful in that department. I've got a million head coverings-I just don't know if I will be able to wear the wig. TOO SELF CONSCIOUS. Which is ridiculous, of course, i see women are wearing wigs and just think they look cute so why should i fret?0 -
Is anyone else on Nuepogen? My HMO doesn't do Nuelasta so I ahve had to give myself a shot every day for 7 days. Tomorrow is the last one for this treatment. Yeah! The first time I had to do it I couldn't and I started crying. so my sister did it! she stuck it in anyway and I pushed the plunger. After that she suggested I close my eyes for the stabbing and then I can do it and it really doesn't even hurt.
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Magentagirl: Hey. I'm day 13, and my hair is starting to come out. I'm sure glad I cut it really short, or it would be more alarming. Good luck to you! But I'll be looking like Uncle Fester soon.
Terri...thanks for the song. The "take me home" part is the bridge.
So here's one more verse before the bridge:
Can't make white cells any fasta.
This is why I'm on Neulasta.
Mouth is full of sores and blisters.
Doctor asked me if I had any sisters!
My, I've been prolific today. I'm going to go sweep the floors now. It looks like the dog is shedding. I don't have a dog.0 -
Shel: I really can't wait for the chemo song book to come out. Then you can start working on the choreography for the musical.
Magentagirl: I was so excited to get my Wicking J pjs today from Sierra Trading Post. They don't have a big selection but the prices are reasonable. They are hanging outside line drying so I will be able to test out a pair tonight. I'm still in chemopause and the night sweats have increased now that summer is here. My onc said she may need to adjust the meds I take to keep them under control but I am trying to avoid that. I take Lexapro and Gabapentin.
Terri.
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Hi,
Shelbaroni:the songs are so funny and clever and true.....great stuff. Keep it coming.
Sorry if I scared you about the high blood pressure thing. I've been on Herceptin for almost a year--last treatment will be on 6/26 and even though I already had high blood pressure, the Herceptin did NOT make it any higher.
The lady I sat next to implied that the Avastin might have been the culprit.
TCH is the way to go and we are all very lucky to be on this course. After Chemo is over and you feel better it will be easier to fight the fear. Hang in....
Leslie2
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Terri, you are so right about that Newsweek article. I think we all need to read that after we've been cyber-soiling ourselves all week. And Leslie2: thanks for the clarification. One less thing to stress about, although stressing about high blood pressure is about as useful as drinking a pot of coffee so you can stay up and read articles about how to fight insomnia! Why do we waste so much time sabotaging ourselves?
My head itches like it's full of lice or something. It feels creepy-crawly. Eeeew! I almost want to go shave it off to make it feel better. I'm probably just thinking about it too much.0 -
Hi everybody. Wow a lot happened up here while I was gone. My port "installation" went fine this morning although I can't say it was pleasant or fun. I got home about 2:00 and went to bed for a few hours to sleep off the "conscious sedation" which affected me about the same as the general anesthetic did when I had my lumpectomy. My chest is a mess. HUGE bruises about 5" x 3" total with one clear spot where the actual port is, which is currently giving me the heebie-jeebies. I imagine it will take me some time to get used to the bump from having something installed in my body (ewwww!). I know this will make my chemo easier although I am feeling bloody sorry for myself at this moment from having to go through all of this (it doesn't feel fair!). My daughter wants me to pick her up and I can't which pisses me off to no end. Anyway, I just wanted to post and say thanks to everybody for all the well wishes you posted for me earlier today.
Terri: Glad to see I'm not the only one on Gabapentin.
) I used to take Lexapro as well but I started gaining weight uncontrollably so I quit taking it. I'm thinking I'll need to try another anti depressant before all this is over with.Hope you all have a great night!
Aly.
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Shel,
That last verse was the absolute best! I almost pee-ed laughing!!!!
Day 15 yesterday and my hair was coming out as I touched it. My husband told me he would shave it off for me. I always had very short hair and really wasn't that hard to make the decision, I didn't want the mess.(although i do have a dog, boxer-doesn' t shed)hahaha.I freakin love it. I didn't realize how uncomfortable my hair was! At first we shaved it 1/8 of an inch, but I had bald spots where the hair had fallen out so my husband put shaving cream on it and shaved the rest off. I should have tried this look years ago!hahaha(by choice of course) I need some sun on it now It's soooo white, I look like an alien from Star Trek!!!hahahaha
So all of you losing it, go for it, hats and scarves are fun! I might even try a wig!(probably blond for the bedroom)(evil laugh.....)
Aly,
Ports are really strange feeling at first but after a few weeks you'll sometimes forget it's there. I actually can sleep on my stomach now! What a luxury!I had it put in the same time as my partial mastectomy, May 13th. Although the scar seems to be the last to heal. I guess because of the location. Glad yours went O.K.
Hugs to all!!!
T-4days to the big #2C
Donalee
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Hey girls! I invented a new pose in yoga today: Downward Shedding Dog! Seriously, I am leaving a trail. Too bad ComicCon isn't in town right now, Donalee. You and I could be Trek Aliens. My husband is a sicko. He thinks it's going to be sexy when I'm bald. Ughhhh.
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Shel,
My husband thinks the bald look is sexy too- im more of a buzzed little kid look since I buzzed it off and still have 40-50% of the little stubble- AND it has started growing while it falls out some more! Anyway, Larry thinks it is great- he can kiss my neck anywhere now!
Kristy
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