Stop Smoking Support Thread
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From the very first drag off of a cigarette, it takes about 2.5 heartbeats or 10 seconds for nicotine to get into the brain where it fits into the alpha4/beta2 nicotinic acetycholine receptors. It fits like a key into a lock and releases a flood of dopamine--the "I feel good" neurotransmitter (when smokers say they enjoy smoking-what they are really saying is I like the flood of dopamine in my brain when I smoke). The flood of dopamine conditions the brain to expect dopamine with coffee, after a meal etc--just like Pavlov conditioned dogs to salivate when they heard a bell ring, which is why just seeing an old lighter in a drawer can cause a "craving". With each cigarette, the brain creates more of these very specific receptors which causes more and more dopamine to be released in the brain. Instead of saying that nicotine is addictive, we should be saying that nicotine has caused significant changes to the way the brain functions. As we go without nicotine when quitting, it's the receptors that go crazy--which is what we call withdrawals. It takes about 3 days for all of the nicotine to leave the system which is why the 3rd day can be the worst for some quitters. But it can take up to 3 to 6 months for the receptors to calm down--which is why most cessation medication is taken for 3 months. Most of these receptors are in the survival instinct part of the brain--which is why willpower is not enough to stay quit, you need additional tools too because willpower or the thinking part of the brain is not as strong as our survival instinct. Thats what I do for a living is help smokers create a plan and find the right tools to use to help them ease through the quitting process instead of relying on willpower alone.
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Welcome dsgirl!!
You have taken a BIG step in thinking you WANT to quit. Not you should... not you must... not someone else wants me to.... but "I" WANT...
I was a 30+ year smoker and did cold turkey. What did it for me was deciding, you know what, I am sick and tired of this controlling what I can and cannot do! It was hard but I do not regret doing it for one minute!
Hopefully, Kitchenwitch will be along with her 10 reasons to quit but in the meantime, I will tell you, after you get through the early on stuff (and you will get through it), the FREEDOM that you feel is awesome!So So GOOD!
VJ offers some wonderful advice as well! Definitely like the idea of phrasing it to the still smoking spouses that this has nothing to do with you smoking or not BUT 'Here is what I need from you'. Keeping it from being a judgement about what they do or don't may very well be the difference between support or not!
We all have to get to the point where we want to quit on our own power and in our own time-frame. Nothing to be gained by the guilt factor. I guess I figure, it SURE didn't work on me so why would I expect it to work on anyone else? Maybe, once your husband sees how well you are doing, it will the push he needs to quit!
VJ is a smoking cessation expert as her occupation and I always learn something that I didn't know from her posts! Thanks VJ!
Post whenever you need support and I'll be thinking of you on Saturday!
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Thank you ALL for the warm welcome.
Kitchenw did send me the list, all good reasons to quit.
Last time I "quit" I did use the patch, which really in the end did me no good, because as soon as I was done with the patch program I started sneaking a cigarette here and there, then bought a pack, lasted for 2 weeks, then bought another, lasted for 1 week, and so on, soon I was back to a pack a day. I plan to COLD TURKEY it this time, have done that before too, it lasted 3 years and was way back in 1969. I like the idea of the straw, making a fake cigarette, I need to keep my hand busy and that can wear me out, so I will sit down with my straw for a while and pretend it's my "friend", until I get past the hard 3-4 first days without my nicotine.
thanks for being here
dsgirl
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Seaside, I just want to say... wow. Someone who quits aftter 30 years, cold turkey, is a force to be reckoned with. I am in awe of you, having gone back and forth so many times (sometimes as long as five years without one).
I have been smoking one a day for a while now. My bottomline is just... life is BETTER without cigarettes. Not worse. Better. Freer. Pleasanter. Less smelly. You're not throwing your money away. Etc. Etc. That's more or less my list of how nice it is not to smoke.
And thank you to everyone for continuing to share stories that are so very helpful. I am going to skip my one today.
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Seaside - my husband did quit smoking for a while during one of my many "quits", but told me after 4 months he wanted to start smoking again, and did. (I have had several friends and family members as well, pull me aside lately and mention that my hubby had just one wish in life and that was "she quits smoking". Now he has never, ever said that to me, and I wonder what is going on there ? Are they making it up? I know they love me and want me to quit for my health, smokers and non-smokers among them, and they all say he asked them not to tell me what he said, so I have not talked to him about it, neither have I told him about my new resolve to quit on Dec. 4, I know he will notice soon enough, I give it 2-3 days. In the past he has not been real supportive, does say good for you honey, and good luck, and then adds, you'll start again, and of course he was always right. A silly game we play here at home. I guess that is why I came to these discussion for support.
So VJ- it's the dopamine, eh ? So how do I release some of those "dopes" without the nicotine from my cigarettes ?
Apparently I love the dopamine rush, as I have smoked for a lifetime. I tried the straw after breakfast this morning and so far it worked, have not lit up yet, just carrying the straw with me, I am just testing it, will probable still smoke today, doomsday is not until saturday, and half a carton of cigarettes are in the desk drawer.
Again, thanks to All of you for being here
dsgirl
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Aw, Kitchenwitch thanks for the kind words
.I have always had a really stubborn streak and I guess this was one time where it really paid off instead of getting me into trouble...lol.
I was a dyed-in-the-wool, hard core smoker. Pretty much 1 - 1 1/2 packs per day (2 if I was REALLY stressed). Cut back quite a bit by making myself go outside to smoke. That got rid of all the mindless don't even realize I'm smoking, light another one even though I already have one lit in the ashtray ones. Got down to around 1/2 pack after a month or so and JUST COULDN'T get down to less than that without being miserable. That's when I took the plunge and quit!
I am in awe of you girls who can get down to just a few a day but, I do know, psychologically, that last one or ones carries a lot of weight and can be tough to finally say good-bye to!
You are doing really well by focusing on the positive aspects of stopping smoking! That was a BIG turning point for me. It took it from looking at it as something I was being "deprived from doing" and turned it more into a "Can't wait till I'm done with you and I can do everything you have been keeping me from doing". A very SMALL mental shift that gave very BIG results!
You're on the right track!!! Keep it up!
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dsgirl,
It IS really strange that human nature seems to be to care more about other's well-being than we do our own but, I do know that has been the case for me. I am glad that, if anyone in my family had to have cancer, it was me and not anyone else. Having said that, I DO think your husband probably said exactly what people are saying. He cares about you!
I think MAYBE the reason he may be kind of non-supportive is the same reason that I think some of my still smoking friends weren't in the beginning either. I think when someone quits there is a fear from the ones who haven't that they will be 'judged' or made to feel like crap because they haven't quit.
Let's face it, even though we may like the feeling of smoking we all know, on some level, that's it's not a good thing to do but, you feel less of that 'Geez, I shouldn't be doing this' feeling, the more people around you that are doing it! I think maybe your husband isn't playing a game at all, just trying to feel OK in his decision to not quit at this time. Hopefully, as time goes by, he will be more supportive. Once my friends realized I wasn't going to turn into "THAT kind of ex-smoker" all is good!
I was lucky in that both my husband and children wanted me to quit SO badly. I had a really great support system especially during those really rough first few days!
Good for you for trying different ways of dealing with the cravings before you quit! Get your plan together. Post as often as you need for support! You can do it!
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I got 2 days under my belt. Im fighting it, I bugged my daughter to bring me just 1, but she was sleeping, by the time she texted me back (really pissed I called her 17 times) I told her "forget it"
I really hope I can keep this up, I really miss it.
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sweetaerobabe,
Those first few days are hard! I can remember laying on the couch crying because I felt so crappy during the first couple of days and my husband asking me "what can I do?" and me saying "go get me cigarettes". To which he replied "i will do anything other than that".
Didn't like it at the time but it was what I needed!! Someone who would refuse to give in when I soooo wanted to!
You will miss it like crazy in the beginning but that WILL diminish ALOT over time. Then you will look back and, other than the rare I could go for one, you will be thinking what was the big deal?
Remember to have lots of fluids, eat frequently and do deep breathing to get through a craving!
I am sooooo pulling for you!!!
Post if you need anything!!
Edited to add: Just went back and read that you are in the middle of chemo. Do what you can on the stop smoking front but also try to be kind to yourself. You are going through a lot right now! Sending a big hug your way!
Diagnosis: 5/8/2009, ILC, 2cm, Stage IIa, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-0 -
Thanks Seaside,
Of course my oncologist wants me to quit asap as well, after my boyfriend brought it to his attention that I was still smoking. (I was so mad at him I cried when the Dr left the room) I know I need to do this, and if I buy a pack, I smoke a pack. there is no 1 a day for me unless I bumm one from my daughter, but apparently I pissed her off tonight. lol
So no idea if she is speaking to me, I didnt text her back after I said "forget it" I know I should thank her..... my grandsons birthday is on the 4th, party on the 11th, at the ex's house. Not sure I wanna go, the ex hasnt seen me with short hair in 20 years. Maybe I will have my grandson over to give him a gift, but he will be heartbroken if I dont go. No idea what to do about that one.
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sweetaerobabe,
Yes, you do need to stop, intellectually we all know that, BUT everyone has to find a time that feels right for them! It's a very individual thing.
I know how mad I would have been if I thought that 'are you smoking question' wasn't going to come up and my husband pointed it out! I get it! I was also a member of the "smoke 'em if you got 'em" club.. been there too, lol!
As far as the birthday party.... do what you can and no more. Kids can handle far more than we give them credit for and, as long as they know they are loved, they will do fine! This year needs to be about you and getting well!
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dsgirl--unfortunately, nothing will give a smoker the same kick that smoking does because of 2 factors-the speed that it hits the brain and the amount of nicotine that is absorbed. This is often the reason why many think that NRT (patch, gum, lozenge, inhaler, nasal spray) doesn't work--since none of them gives the brain the amount of nicotine as fast as inhalation. the only thing that cessation meds do is--take the edge off. They move you from a feeling of "I have to smoke" to "I can do something else instead of smoke". You mentioned that you used the patch but you didn't mentined for how long? Often quitters will stop using cessation meds too soon--before the receptors in the brain have gone dormant. Meds only take the edge off while the quitter is learning how to live without their cigarettes, learning new behavior.
I usually tell my client to not stop using NRT or to cut down until they have had at least 2 full weeks with no slips, no strong cravings and no strong withdrawals and if the craving come back, go back on the NRT instead of smoking. The package information for NRT has not been updated in over 10 years. For some we suggest using a combination of the patch and oral NRT (gum, or lozenge for as needed breakthrough cravings). For those worried about weight gain, a combo of Zyban and NRT can help. For some just NRT alone--taken 60 minutes prior to a meal --will help as an appetite suppressant.
chantix works by flling half of these specific receptors in the brain, It has a dual action by releasing a small amount of dopamine and blocking the receptor so that if you do smoke, the nicotine from the cig. doesn't get into the receptor. Smokers often lose the enjoyment from smoking but if behavioral techniques arn't used to change how you relate to cigarettes, after stopping the med., the person will go back to smoking. (Disclaimer--I am on the speakers bureau for Pfizer, the maker of Chantix).
This is why it is so important to have something that is more important than the cigarette as your motivation to quit--since nothing will replace that flood of dopamine but you can learn to live without it and NOT miss it. I'm not saying it's easy--maybe one of the hardest things you have ever done, but it can be done and the freedom it brings is something to rejoyce.
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Seaside: "You'll be wondering what was the big deal" ... you reminded me of the only other time I've ever managed to put together any significant time quit (it was 6 months), I told my husband that I couldn't believe that I didn't even miss it. I was doing something that could kill me, and when I finally managed to stop, it wasn't that big a deal once I got through about the first week. One week of suffering in exchange for years of life - not a bad swap!
And, yes, I did start back after that time. But I'll give myself a little bit of a break by saying that I started back when my husband died. He had been my quit buddy in addition to my much loved husband; so the stress, etc., anyway, I started back. This quit time I hope is forever.
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I see some of you have some hard times in your quit but I'm sure the ladies here will be supportive and offer tons of encouragement (me included). You can do this just take it one minute at a time if you have to. VJ has some great advice being a professional in the smoking cessation field!
My DH just quit with the Electronic cigarette.He's getting nicotine but none of the other chemicals that are in cigarettes. His plan is to wean off the cigarette. I hope he does this - he really NEEDS to quit.
I made it through my trip 4 1/2 hour drive each way alone and no smokes! It actually was pretty easy and singing in the car helped ALOT!!!
Have a great evening all
Jan
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VJSL- Thanks for the explanation re dopamine- actually right now when I take a deep drag thru the drinking straw I feel like I am having a cigarette, this is first in the morning after breakfast, when those darn cigs taste sooooo good, I must have one vivid imagination early in the morning, lol. anyway, I am able to not smoke for most of the morning but by supper time I have had 3 or 4, then tea before bed with one or two more. I feel I am ready to not smoke at all come saturday. I will try the lozenge or gum if the urge hits. I can get that at the drugstore without a script.
I think I remember the patch program I was on to be 10 weeks, however, my doctor encouraged me to continue as I was not sure I wouldn't go back to smoking again, so I used the patches for maybe 5-6 weeks longer, finally ran out of spots to put the patch, I developed a reddish, raised welt from them, even though I used arms, back,stomach, upper leg to not use a spot that I had already used. I always washed the spot where that latest patch had been immediately after peeling it off, I did not sleep with them on, and then cleaned the spot again during my morning shower, yet I could no longer put it anywhere without the rash coming on. My doctor then gave me a script for Chantix, but I did not fill it, so I haven't tried it. I did try hypnosis, with 3 other smoker friends, I lasted 4 days, the others longer, but all went back to smoking. Most of my tries to quit smoking has come because of a health concern, but I always eventually was back smoking finding some lame excuse to start again.
I recently had an abnormal mammo, then the ultrasound was showing something new- abnormal, need immediate attention and so on, I promised myself if the subsequent biopsy was benign I was going to quit smoking so I could say I DO NOT SMOKE ANYMORE when I go back to my Onc, PC, Surgeon and Heart doc. Well I got the good news that biopsy was benign, so I gotta do this for me because I have to honor my promise. I feel I am ready.
Again thank you all for being here to help us along this path
dsgirl
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dsgirl--Congratulations on the good path report!.
the rash you got was from the adhesive used in that patch and not the nicotine. This is very common. Different manufacturers use different adhesives, so not every patch would give you the same reaction. Unfortunately, the patches don't come in a "trial" kit, so you could test out which ones would not cause a rash.
The regular lozenges take a really long time to disolve--up to 1.5 hours. there is a new mini-lozenge that takes 45 minutes. So if you use lozenges don't wait until you have a craving but keep using it throughout the day to keep cravings at bay. There is no need to be uncomfortable. Most people don't use enough NRT during the day but use it only when a craving comes up and it is so slow reacting that often it doesn't help. whereas with the patch, there is a level dosage throughout the day.
An organization I belong to (Assn. for the Treatment of Tobacco Use and Depence- ATTUD) is asking the FDA to allow manufacturers to pack NRT in smaller quantities--it doesn't make sense that you can buy a pack of cigarettes (enough for a day) but you can only buy NRT in quantities for a month! In Canada, they now have combo packages--the patch with gum/lozenge.
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Bama,
"One week of suffering in exchange for years of life... not a bad swap"
I like that....
I do think that the best part of these boards is, that even though on the surface our situations may be different, there is always something in everyone's story that another can relate to and will find to be helpful!
If you started smoking again due to your husband's death, I think you deserve to give yourself more than a little bit of a break. Losing a spouse would be more than most people could bear! I know it would have done me in.
I think you are well on your way to your 'forever' quit and doing all while going through chemo... well, you've got my admiration in the strength department!!!
You go, girl!
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Jan508,
Congrats to your husband for following your lead!!!
I will be very interested to hear how he does with the Electronic Cigarette. I looked at those when I first thought about quitting. My brother and sister-in-law say thay are considering quitting and were asking about them as well.
Glad to hear you got back from your trip OK. I was wondering how you did not only from a no smoking perspective but, Holey Moley was the weather bad on the day of your trip! We had wind like I'm not sure I've ever seen here before. Parts of the state got almost 3 feet of snow (not where I am thankfully)!
Looked like you were getting the high winds and torrential rain down your way!
Jennifer
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Jan508, Good for you, Congratulations, I know being in the car, alone for so many hrs is a big challenge, glad to read you managed so well.
I hope I can do as well Tuesday when I have a shorter but still "by myself" trip to make, was thinking I would get some sugarless hard candy to suck on, I always bring plenty of water bottles, I'd sip, sip, sip, suck suck suck, both on the candy and the straw. I am probably being too optimistic and not very realistic. I tend to think many tasks are easy until I get started and realize they are not.
After reading VJ's post today, I think maybe I better get the lozenge and forget the sugarless candy. Thanks VJ, so glad we have you here.
My idea about quitting this time was to not use any type of patch, gum whatever with nicotine in it, since I have failed on those before, and I thought I can do 3-4 days of nasty cravings, and then silly ole me expected to actually just be done with smoking because I promised myself I would be done for good.
Best of luck to you all, and thanks for all the support, I will be back posting tomorrow on how day 1 went. I am planning to work outside, mulching leaves most of the day, keeps the hands busy, and I think I can plant that drinking straw between my lips and suck away on it all day long
dsgirl
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dsgirl,
Best of luck tomorrow! I will be thinking of you and I know we ALL will be rooting for you! The first few days will be a bit rough but, it will get better fast!! I know that first night after I smoked my last cigarette at 11:01 pm (but who's counting? lol), I woke up kind of panicked because, for the first time in over 30 years there were NO cigarettes in the house. I got through it and you will too!!!
I didn't use any of the nicotine replacements but, they have worked for many people. I did have a prescription for Chantix that I could have used if I needed to so that was my plan B. It really is finding something (or combination of things) that will work for you.
I know exactly what you mean about the rash. I get that from ANYTHING that has adhesive in it. Even band-aids so I definitely knew the patch wasn't going to work for me.
Stay busy... LOTS and LOTS of water to help flush out the nicotine... Frequent meals to keep your blood sugar stable until your body figures out how to do that on its own without nicotine. You may find you are more tired for awhile (healing is hard work for your body). Rest when you can! Also I found going to bed early for awhile helped because I didn't seem to crave a cigarette when I was sleeping and cravings for me were always the worst in the evening! The straw, "breathing as though you are smoking", blowing bubbles either with gum or actual bubbles helps too!
You can do it!
Post when you need to!
Edited to add: One other thing that I think was helpful to me was recognising that the urge to smoke will pass in under 5 minutes whether you smoke or NOT. The urges will come pretty rapidly in the beginning but over a couple of days they spread out. Just knowing all I had to do was get through the next few minutes helped!
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O2B,
You still recovering well from your surgery? I think of you often and hope all is well!
Dutchy, kody22 and Barbara,
Are you ladies still doing OK?
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If you're thinking about the e-cig, talk to your doctor about the nicotine inhaler--same concept but the inhaler is regulated by the FDA--so you know what's in, and there are safety and manufacturing standards. Most e-cigs are made in China with no health and safety standards at all, plus a small study done by the FDA showed that there was no consistency in the amount of nicotine contained in the cartridges. We think that it has more of a placebo effect--mimicking the hand to mouth motion rather than really supplying any nicotine--because the nicotine molecule needs to be small enough to pass through the blood-brain barrier and this hasn't been proven with e-cigs yet. many of my clients like the inhaler (you need a prescription because it gives you nicotine faster than gum/patch/lozenge which are over the counter). It mimics the hand to mouth motion (looks like an old fashioned cigarette holder) and it gives you consistant amounts of nicotine. Main problem I have seen is that clients don't use enough cartridges (can use up to 10 per day and I've had clients use 1 cartridge for 5 days--obviously no nicotine but statisfys that hand to mouth motion.
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DS: I'm sure it will be difficult but doable!! Bring those small carrots in a bag, they may help and turn up the volume on your radio of CD player and sing along!!! It really does help plus it makes the time go by faster. It really did help me.
VJ: I'm not sure about the electric cigarette, I know alot of people here who have used with with good success so we'll see. He has a dr. appointment for a check up soon so I 'll have him ask about it - thanks for the info.
Jan
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Hi ya all. I have been busy at work and too tired when I get home to come to the site. Welcome to all the newcomers. Has anyone been able to get back on the quit meter? Have not smoked but do not know the exact time because the meter was down and now I do not know how to sign up and too lazy to go back over the thread to see when I quit. For now I will just say I am nicotine free and feeling wonderful. I went for a 4.3 mile hike this morning and it felt great. The cravings at work have stopped for now but I expect them to come back again at the end off the month when too many reports are due with not enough time in the month to complete them all.
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Hello everyone
Boy oh boy oh boy, I am bushed, worked so hard all day trying to forget that I used to smoke, what a job, but so far so good, decided to pitch out the remaining cigarettes as I was tempted tonite after supper, I feel all wobbly, and cant walk a straight line, could be all the water I drank.
Did not sleep good last nite for some reason, have those nites ever so often, and think I will reach for the ativan tonite, I need a solid 8 hrs, and always get that with ativan.
I will check out the quitmeter everyone is using, I didn't pay alot for my cigarettes, $39, a carton, but nevertheless, it's about $120 a month, still quite a bit of money to save.
dsgirl
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OK... Caution to all... It seems like the quit meter that we have been using (www.quitmeter.com) is no longer the same site! Not sure if it is something that is safe or not. It at BEST appears to be suspicious!
I will be checking out other meters and will post back as to what I find. The thing that was nice about that site is it did not require you to download anything onto your computer! I think most others you have to download at least a small program.
Just didn't want anyone to go to the site that we WERE all using (Now it is different) and have something go wrong!
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dutchy/seaside:
I think it may be all the stress of the season...just think we don't have to make a New Year's resolution to quit smoking !! Whoo Hoo~!!
I went to the gym today to walk on the treadmill since it was a bit to chilly to walk outside and I hit the 'fat burning' program....oooo my legs are killing me tonight - I didn't know the incline was so bad
Anyway - it felt good to work out on the treadmill - setting the speed makes you walk faster. Walking outside you have a tendency to lally gag around...It's been 75 days for me today and I'm so so proud of myself and all of you!!!
Have a great night!
Jan
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Dutchy,
Rest when you can, my friend, but I do enjoy hearing from you when you can!
As you said... Don't know how long it's been since I quit... In the beginning, did either of us ever think we would see the day that we would say THAT? WOW, how far we have come since the early days AND how proud I am of BOTH of us!!
Glad to hear that you are doing well and..... a 4.3 mile hike.. let's just say I'm working my way UP to that one
It's all I can do to get in my 2.2 mile walk! I really have to just buckle down and do it!You Go!!!!!!!
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Jan,
Congrats on 75 days!!
Ohhhh Yeeeaaahhhh! That getting back on the treadmill after being away for awhile is where I'm at now! Feels good right after I'm done in that I feel like I did something that was really good for me but... wow.. a couple hours after I'm done and I am like the tin man in the movie "The Wizard of Oz" where I need someone to "Oil Me"... lol...
Seems to be getting better as time goes by! Hope the same is true for you!
Here's to choosing a different New Years Resolution!
Jennifer
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dsgirl,
Saved you for last...
Just wanted to say how PROUD I am of you for making it through your first day of freedom! I'm sure it was hard and the next couple of days will be too BUT you will find your effort to be SO worth it!! If you are doing cold turkey, you will go through a bit of feeling like you have the flu. I was not working at the time and was able to just kind of lay around at home as if I was ill for the first few days. After that things improved rapidly!
I have those not sleeping well nights as well! I think we women of, errrr, a certain age all do (and you have, at this time, extra reasons)! Take your ativan and get a good night's rest. I have always said I can deal with anything AFTER I have had a good night's sleep! The wobbly-ness that you feel could be due to low blood sugar. Make sure that you are eating frequently!
Wishing the best for you and $120.00/month in your pocket is better by far than in someone else's!!!
Have faith that you can do this! Sending you a very big hug!!!!!!!!!!!!
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