Stop Smoking Support Thread
Comments
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akeefe - He might if the temps here were not above 100 degrees every day. Some days it is hard being around him. What makes it worse is when I have to ride in his truck with him and he lights up. I always keep my "trusty" spray with me all the time and that seems to take the edge off. I have a 2 oz bottle and when that is gone I hope I am past all the cravings and crap. I finish the first part of the herbal pills tomorrow and then do a maintenance phase for 2 - 4 weeks depending on how I decide to take the pills.
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thanks everyone for your insurance wisdom/well wishes. I guess this too is just another friggin hurdle in this BC bulls**t (by the way, did I ever tell you folks that I hate breast cancer...crap)
let's all just keep our heads down and focused on our smoke free lives!!
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kal, dealing with insurance companies can be beyond frustrating and you handled it with exercise and venting, and did not need to pick up that cigarette, that was a great way to do it. Let us know what the PS had to say about handling the situation. Take care, Karen
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Hubby and I had one of our little disagreements a little while ago. He is a slob and I hate clutter. He was looking for a drill which he put on top of a cabinet and blamed it on me. There were several other tools I had put on top of the dryer in hopes he would take it to his shop. Well, I got mad and put on his crap on the dining table. He called me a bitch and told me to go back to smoking. My response was NO WAY! I have been pretty good about not saying anything about his smoking. I ended that encounter by leaving the kitchen and going to my sewing room to cool off. Surprisingly, I did not want a cig, I wanted to punch his lights out.
Sorry to come on here and vent but I do feel so much better now.
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Jo,
This is a bit of an adjustment period that you will BOTH have to transition through... Such a huge lifestyle change affects the person making the change and also those around them! When it comes to quitting smoking those who still are smoking tend to feel a bit defensive.... I think it's important to try not to judge them BUT also stay on the path you are on.... You are more likely to have success in getting him to quit if he isn't feeling pressured or guilted into it!
Speaking of slobbiness and transitions.... My daughter has moved home after 4 years at college and 'Holy Moley' are we ever dealing with those same transition issues.... Her dorm room was an absolute wreck when she was there and now her room here is too! She keeps leaving her stuff everywhere so the rest of the house is not looking too good either..... I think the next step for me is i'm just going to leave random crap of mine on her bed.... Give her a bit of the WTF that I get when her stuff is all over the place...... LoL......
She's really a pretty good kid so, this too shall pass... It's all learning to live with the changes as we, and those around us, change and grow!
Sending you strength and comfort! You will both find your new dynamic soon!0 -
{{{JO}}}
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SeaSide - You hit the nail right on the head. Hubby is a bit defensive about this. I had originally told me I was quitting on Aug 1st and then moved the date up 2 weeks. I don't think he is going to be ready on Aug 1st. I am trying really hard to keep my mouth shut and have been doing good so far. Like I have said before, thank goodness for the herb spray. When we were yelling at each other, I could have very easily picked up one of his cigs, but I did not.
Maybe putting some of your stuff on your daughter's bed will send her a message and she will clean up her act. Reverse psychology is a great thing sometimes.
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this probably wouldn't work with a husband but with a kid it would--tell them what ever is left around the house and not put away--will be thrown in the trash--give them one warning, then throw everything in the trash--it will only take one time and they will pick their stuff up.
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VJ I did that to stepdaughter#1 and boy was she mad!!!
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BarbaraA--I bet she was mad but I bet she also didn't leave her stuff around anymore either.
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Yeah she did. But she moved out not too long after. My ex DH took her side and it wasn't long until I moved out too.
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lol Barbara and VJ... I have lways been soooooo tempted to do just that.... Throw out anything that has been left out for a certain period of time but, I think my frugal genes will win and I just won't be able to bring myself to do it!
I'm thinking for my daughter that having to clear off her bed of things that aren't hers when all she wants ti do is go to bed may just work.... Very similar to when I need the kitchen table but all her junk is on it!
I know we will find our peace but for now.... aye yi yi!0 -
i envy all of you with kids, I was never blessed (however, i am the best damn Aunt that a child could have...) anyway, i remember my Mom took the garbage cans, you know the metal/aluminum ones, put them in my brothers room for a week, because he "forgot" so many times when it was his chore was to put them out for the trash pickup. I also recall her opening the window to his bedroom and tossing anything laying on the floor, which amounted to all his clean and dirty clothes, out the window onto the back yard lawn because he had not heeded her warning to clean his room....love my Mom, a woman of few words but GREAT action! AND got her point across, my brother is a clean freak now...
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My mom was a cleaning freak. She would take our stuff and hide it in her closet. If we wanted it back, we had to earn it back with chores or just keeping our rooms clean for a certain number of days. One time we decided to see how far we could go with leaving things laying around and when mom threw out a pair of my favorite shoes - I got the message and started keeping everything picked up.
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Jo- i like that method too, i seem to recall one of my friend's Mom's used to use that one (for the life of me I can't remember who). it was like a store, i remember my friend "going shopping" to get her stuff back. How's DH treating you today, I hope he backs off for you soon and realizes that you are really serious about this not smoking thing.
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Lol Kal at the aluminum cans in your brother's room! I know that would have made me remember from then on what day trash pick up was!
Jo, I am really liking that idea of earning their things back! That might just work!
I was talking to my Mom yesterday about my messy house and she reminded me that my room was the room from hell when I was younger! She said she just learned to keep the door shut! I guess the 'nuts' don't fall too far from the tree! I will just be happy if the mess doesn't spread to the rest of the house.....
As an update.... Something I said must have sunk in because today she was up early and is taking a stab at cleaning her room before work!! Just when we think they never listen, they DO!0 -
seaside, when my daughter was a teenager, all I asked of her was that I was able to see her rug, that was where she threw clothes, junk and assorted belongings, I would nag at her and inevitably we would wind up fighting. This went on for quite a while to both of our frustration. Then I told her I would not be nagging anymore but that once a week I would comeiin with a trash bag and put everything on the floor in it. I did it once and after a few hours of it sitting on the porch she came down and fished through the bag for her belongings, the only way she could keep them was to put them away. Afterwards she would hear me say that I was coming up with the bag in an hour and magicly her room was cleaned. No more nagging or fighting. Now her whole house is clean and orderly except her son's, my grandson's room, remarkedly you can't see his floor! She uses the same method, he called her bluff once and the trashbag went out to the garbage. He had to go outside to fish out his belongings, you guessed it, you can see his floor. Yesterday on his own he cleaned the whole room without being asked, his shelves, DVD's organized, toys he uses put away and those he outgrew in a trashbag for the Salvation Army. We were both dumbfounded! Don't know what spurred the cleaning! Karen
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OMG!!! For some reason the cravings are really intense today. I have been staying away from coworkers and DH as much as I can. Have used my herbal spray more today and any other day. Not under any stress - just kind of a "normal" day. I can say I have made it to Day 7. When does this get easier???? Trying to stay strong. Shit! I soooooo want a cig.
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Jo, You CAN do this. I had terrible cravings off and on and found that I had to be ready to do something intense to distract myself. You CAN do this!!!!
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Jo,
You are to a kind of rough point now.... Quitting is no longer new and the excitement of quitting has faded.... Now is the time that you need to use all of the knowledge you have gained to Stay Strong.... If you can just hang in there it will get rapidly better in the next week or two! Promise!!
Even though your day has been pretty 'normal', has there been anything that would amount to a 'first' time you have done it since quitting? Those 'firsts', no matter how small, can produce some pretty intense cravings!0 -
Barbara makes a good point! Any activity you need to do to distract yourself is a good thing! Walk... Clean.... Even go to bed.... Although, it's probably a bit early yet for that in TX!
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Jo, I exercised when the craving got intense or got on the computer or went to sleep early. This is the tough time, this is when all your will power comes into play. You like to quilt, that requires both hands and can take your mind of smoking. Some days will be tough, that's when you must be tougher and realize you have 7 days under your belt, just have to get to tomorrow, then another tomorrow, one step at a time. Hang in there Jo, you can do it. hugs, Karen
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The only "new" thing that happened today was I finished my 7 days of herbal pills and gave myself a big pat on the back for that. I did not think I would make it this far - it doesn't help that DH is still smoking and won't take it outside. I just stay out of the kitchen as much as possible. I think I also made the mistake of stepping on the scales today and was shocked to see that I have gained 5 lbs - Yikes!!!! I really can't afford to put on too many more. Got to watch that now - that just might be the distraction I need. What do ya'll think????
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Jo,
Each person is different in whether or not they gain weight and how they choose to handle it... I went with the philosophy that I would deal with quitting smoking by WHATEVER means necessary first... and then deal with the fallout after!
Truth be told, I did wind up gaining probably 10 lbs due to quitting smoking (I did gain a bit more later but I attribute that to the fact that my dog died and I went into a huge depression)...
Even though no one wants to gain weight, according to my doctor I would have had to have gained 100 lbs to have it be as damaging to my health as smoking!
Increased exercise (good for us anyway) and eating better (I KNOW i need to do better there) are the keys to getting the weight under control AFTER the smoking beast lays dead at your feet...lol!!!
Take things one step at a time and BELIEVE that it will all work out!!!0 -
Jo, I didn't gain any so hang on pal!
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Ya'll are cracking me up with your stories of clutter. I hate clutter, got it from my mother who never hesitated to throw stuff away. I have a scar on my chin where I fell when I was about 4 trying to climb up and get a stuffed animal out of the garbage can!
My husband prints off everything he runs across on the internet that catches his fancyl. It drives me nuts!!! I just bought him a roll top desk. Now he can put all his papers on there and roll the top down and I don't have to look at it.
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Barbara - I know you did not gain any weight - you are my all time hero.
More exercise??? Really? My job keeps me on my feet and moving all day long. I am so glad to be able to get home after a 10 - 14 hour day and sit on my butt. I don't have time for the gym. I do make time to go swimming in the pool I have 24 hour free access to - does that count??
Just a side note - about 5 years ago I decided one day that I was too fat and eating like a pig. I started reducing the amount of food I ate - no diets, diet pills - I was able to take off 20 lbs and have kept it off until now. I virtually went from wearing a very tight size 12 to a size 4. I really like the way I look at 138 lbs. Not stressing over this - will just do like I did before and watch how much I eat.
Oh! How rude of me - Thanks so much ladies for your continued support.
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Jo,
As I said, it's different for each person... sounds like you have the exercise part down. You will find what works for you....0 -
Bama,
I also struggle with not printing everything that catches my fancy! I just have to tell myself that it will still be there tomorrow whether I print it or not... lol!!
Like the new photo.... Hope you are feeling well!0 -
Jo, how goes your day? Karen
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