Exchange City
Comments
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Thank you so much Deborah!! Curious why style 20?
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Allergan Natrelle Style 20 is the high profile smooth silicone round implant. What style were YOU thinking was the high profile?
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Well, since Candi is doing so well and is so happy with her results, I can attest that she was just devastated and despondent about her prior unilateral results, and understandably so. I was equally as disappointed in her results. Disappointed, frustrated, feeling so helpless to comfort her. I could not imagine how she could ever get a result which would give her symmetry or make her feel any semblance of acceptance with how she looked after her first exchange. I have said before that I have cried over some pictures I have seen and I cried over Candi's pictures. I knew that it would take removing that healthy breast and finding a new PS to get a good result. Based on what her previous PS did to her - there was nothing he could do with that healthy breast and nothing he could do with the cancer side - he washed his hands essentially of being able to help her at all. So I just prayed and prayed that God would find an answer for us.
It seems so bizarre - so callous almost - to say that something good could come out of Candi's finding cancer in that healthy breast last month. Candi's husband sent me photos after the surgery and I sat at my computer and cried like a baby - tears of joy! I was nearly jumping out of my skin - I was so awestruck at how beautiful those breasts looked - right out of surgery!!! I rejoice with Candi that she feels good, is doing well and that she will have some happiness at the end of this journey.
Blessings can come out of the deepest sorrows. Hearts can always be mended, relationships can be restored, so many things can come out of the broken down mess of our lives and it is a miracle to me when this occurs. I am counting myself as one of those broken down messes God restored to something useful in this lifetime!
Deborah
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Candi and Deborah - What a touching story. Thanks to both of you for sharing it!!!!
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I too am hoping for maximum "fluffing". I have an appt with my PS tomorrow as well. The girls are quite squishy and are fairly flat at this point - but I am also wearing the compression FOOB TUBE... I'll let yu all know what my PS says about the squishiness and fluffing..
On a side note, I called my Step Mother on Thanksgiving and got an earful. Over the last two years, I have moved from AZ to VA and then to NE - I have changed jobs and had my boobs cut off - My sisters have kept her informed about everything but she is trying to make me feel guilty for not calling her directly - she is a very strong woman with very strong feelings - when I told her the lumps removed with the BX proved to be benign - she wanted to know why I had the surgery at all - She wanted to know why I didn't call her friend Dr Rucker in WI for a consultation - why haven't I called him about the recon - why haven't I called him about the nips - "you know he could have saved them by attaching them to your leg while you were in transition". All this is why I didn't tell her about it in the first place - I don't need this right now...
I am going to try to go to work tomorrow before my appt. Gotta get my mind off this crap!! Sorry, but I had to vent.
Allison
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Alitman ~
It is good to vent...& we are all here to listen...with no judgement I might add. My mother is a strong willed woman...stubborn....don't get me wrong..I LOVE her to pieces..we just have different personalities. When I told her I had BC she automatically said I must "hate" her for giving me this! She was dx'd & tx'd for DCIS 8 years ago at age 70. She had a lumpectomy w/ rads. She can be hard on herself & does not know how to deal with emotions. She comes from a strict culture. When she said how this must be her fault I had to lay down the law & told her I wanted her to "stop" right there!!! I told her that this was not the time to put blame but instead to move forward & do what we need to do to get through this. I'm an only child so this was hard to deal with. Although having just my DH & friends for support...I wanted my mom to understand MY feelings too. I AM SO THANKFUL TO HAVE FOUND ALL OF YOU...TO BE COMFORTED...TO VENT...TO FEEL YOU UNDERSTAND...
You are the "sisters" I never had!!!
Loving all of you!
NAE
Okay ladies...goodness...what's with all these emotions this week!!! LOL!!!!
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Dear Allison; It is GOOD to vent.....
today, as I have read thru posts, the theme seems to be about overcoming loss - HARD, BODY AMPUTATING (MX) LOSS! LOSS OF LIVING W/O CANCER! LOSS OF RELATIONSHIPS AS WE KNEW THEM. Stripped!!!!!! Stripped of things we used to hold onto to..... Defining loss..... Facing the choice to venture BEYOND our grief, devastation, brokeness.
Mothers are suppose to there for us, unconditional and loving..... but.....we know that this is NOT a perfect world.... and we all don't have mothers who 'give', maybe even take!!
I feel SO SORRY that this confrontation happened the night B4 u have to return to work - or happened at ALL!!!! Sounds to me that your step mother needs to overcome some selfishness, and self-absorbedness! Sorrry, but, no wonder you didn't call during ur crisis
.... you knew she would take something out of you. Sorry.....!
Sigh,,, you did nothing wrong... and i suggest you stick here with women who REALLY understand the catastrophic loss you have been thru..... are REMEMBER what Deborah just said about the miracles that are found when you come to the end of yourself. Sleep deep, and heal, and prepare yourself for a GREAT day back to work friends
love and hugsxox
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Hi Candi,
Glad I PM'd you yesterday. So, glad to hear how very well things went with your surgery and that your recovery has gone just as well these past 3 weeks.
Now Deborah has the name of an excellent PS she can recommend for people in your area. Plus, if someone needs a great oncologist, his wife is just that!
Stay well,
Susie
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I've had an absolutely beautiful day with two of my three sons and my possibly new dau-in-law along with my DH. I'm so blessed.
Trying hard not to be anxious about tomorrow and sooooo looking forward to my new foobs.
Those suffering with relationships which are toxic--I've also had to learn some hard lessons there. When a person we care about is toxic, we did not cause it, we cannot control it and we cannot cure it, but we can contribute to it. I've had to make decisions about some relationships to just remove myself from them. There are consequences to these actions, but some people are not going to change and to remain in the relationship is allowing myself to be abused by them. If this person in your life causes you pain and it just doesn't feel right, then it is not right. We cannot change anyone--even ourselves because if we could, we would have changed having BC.
We can manage and control some things in our lives. When I tell someone to take care, I mean take care of themself. No one else will do it for us. Have a wonderful week and I hope to be home tomorrow night to watch the football game.
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mbtlcsw01 ~
Will be thinking of you tomorrow...thoughts & prayers! It IS truly a wonderful feeling!!!
NAE
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Good Luck this week Sisters! I hope all your surgeries go well, that you heal quickly, and that you are happy with the results!
Hugs--Karen
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Oh Candi!! Your story is a heartbreaker. Shame on that PS. I too switched PS's after my TE were already in. It is such a night and day experience with the new guy. You could tell, too, the hospital staff loves him and took better care of ME because of it!! (I felt) Anyway, so glad you are on the downhill slide after trudging uphill for so long. My heart goes out to you.
Hi Kimberly! I was a side sleeper too and would wake up after only a couple hours on my back. My husband sleeps on a temerpedic pillow (it cost 129$) and during this ordeal, I borrowed his pillow and was able to sleep on my back. It was hard going at first but I got used to it and just bought my own pillow now, even though my TE are out and my implants are in- the pillow is worth every penny!!! I didn't buy the kind with grooves in them- it is a flat pillow but molds to your head placement. Unfortunately for me the TE were uncomfortable the entire time. Good Luck!!!
Alison, talk only to people you are up to talking to this year. You have permission!!! I have weeded a lot of folks out because, well, their personality doesn't fit my needs right now and find myself in relationships (some new) where there is a more evolved conciousness. We've all been through a lot and I think it is OK to not take phone calls and not call people back this year. (at least I am giving myself permission) people really say the rudest things when they simply don't know what to say. It's OK to back off. My mother has onset dementia and I have backed a way from her this year a lot. I have so much stress right now and it causes me a deep amount of stress talking with her because I worry so deeply about her. I did teach her about FB and we do that now! It is much nicer and she can then recall past conversations on her page!!! Sometimes we just need to nurture ourselves and get rid of outside stress but we are used to thinking that is rude or selfish. I say we all have the excuse to be selfish this year!!!
Mary, my thoughts and prayers will be with you. Try and sleep well!!!
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Baxter: So glad you found a great PS to get you to where you are now. I hope you are feeling better each day and that your appt. with your oncologist goes well!
mbtlcsw01: Hope you get a good nights sleep tonight and that your surgery goes well tomorrow.
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Okay...I'm REALLLY sore along my sternum (cleavage) area & along the folds (maybe more like around the ribs). I suppose this comes with the territory??? Does this mean my sports bra is too tight for me?
Hope everyone else is recovering well. Blessings to those having surgeries.
Many hugs & prayers!
NAE
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Hi Ladies,
Well my surgery is in a week. Im trying to make a list of what I would like him to correct or do...a wish list of sorts. I would like my breast closer...I want nice cleavage. How far apart is good? 1 inch? 1/2 inch? I was just curious LoL.
Im getting nervous now. I guess thats normal right? I'm not sure why though since this will be my 4th surgery this year.
Teresa
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Thanks again for all the support - one would think that my Step Mother would remember what my own mother went through with her BC that eventually took her life. But, apparently not.
Good luck to all with surgeries this week - while I am less than one week out from my exchange, I do feel better - I am not sleeping well but it isn't due to pain.
I see the PS today and will ask about fluffing and a sports bra - I am kind of tired of the foob tube I have been wearing,
Allison
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Nedeza & Cheri2
Thanks for the feedback!
I have a plastic appointment this morning and hopefully have not done anything to ruin his work!
I don't have a problem sleeping on my right side but have been trying to sleep on my left also.
I slept on my stomach for a few hours this morning... it felt good and my arms got a great stretch and I feel ok.
My range of motion is excellent and I hope I am not doing the wrong things!
Kimberly
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Nedeza
I used to feel like some one punched me in the sternum... In fact, when people asked me how I was feeling that was what I told them.
I also thought my bra was too tight until I remembered I wasn't wearing one.
Hope you have a good day!
Kimberly
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Wow lots of catching up to do .... Well 5 days out now and wow this surgery seemed to knock me down I have been dizzy and nauseous since surgery today is the first day I have been able to read some of the posts with out feeling sick so hopefully this is good news for me...
Thanks again to all for your prayers and gentle hugs ... I needed them.
I am very happy with the outcome I have peaked a few times now and I seem to have a real burning sensation were the stitches are anyone experience this?
Well today the nurse will be removing the drain cant wait...whoooooooooo
To all of you going for exchanges I cant tell you nice it was to wake up without the te digging in my sides oh the softness is the best feeling...
Okay back to catching up talk soon..
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vollygirl wow 5k only 2 weeks after exchange I am just able to type on this keyboard today day 5 (lol)
alitman geneskirt nedeza annie7216 glad all your exchanges went well..
geneskirt I am also finding my augment side to be a little bigger but i have dressing on my mx side so maybe this is why are you still finding this? I finally sat in a bath yesterday oh wow how nice was that just was careful not get anything wet.
annie how are you feeling?
Val so glad your son was not hurt..
catching up from page 278... need a break
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Nedeza;
Wow,having had surgery four hours apart has been convenient for conversing bout symptoms!!! I too just started experiencing sternum pain last night and switched from my good sports bra into a looser cotton bra(thinking it was too tight). It PAINS to sneeze. This symptoms is not uncommon to me, tho. Had it post Mx, and Post Expanders as well. Some pain during expansion. Feels like my chiropractor could adjust me...but he says thats contra-indicated for six weeks. I think its muscle and ligaments and where they attach to the bony structure of the sternum. Our ribs have been thru ALOT of compression.... I know expansion can fracture ribs, so thats intense! The pain in the IM fold is particularily noticabel in the car. A sports bra can only help all of these - i think we are going thru some re-adjustment with the new girls. I going back into the sports bra!:)
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Good luck to everyone having surgery this week (including me) and speedy healing to those who are recovering from surgeries last week. My capsular contracture surgery is scheduled for late Wednesday afternoon and I am taking Wednesday-Friday off, hoping to return to my part-time job on Monday. Hope I'm not being unrealistic! Have a wonderful day. --bonnie
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Allison
Your stepmom sounds like my ex mother-in-law. She was always mad about something. I think some people don't know how to deal with difficult topics and so instead turn everything around and make everything about them. So she becomes mad at you instead of dealing with whatever feelings your bc has stirred in her. I learned a lot about my family and friends these past months, and not all of it has been pretty.
Anne
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oh btw I had my ps appointment today and I actually AM happy with the result of my exchange. The compression tube top hid the projection.
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annie7216 that is great new's how long do you need to wear the compression top? and what restrictions do you have? I see my ps on wed .
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I love my ps...he lways makes me feel better about everything. I am done with the compression top as of today (5 days post exchange). He says I can wear a sports bra, regular bra (including underwire which I found surprising) or no bra. He wants to see me again in 10 days to make sure that everything is continuing to heal. He says I can drive but to avoid vigorous activity. His words exactly were "no running marathons" for another 2 weeks. Good luck with your followup appointment.
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Carolyn
I love your bulldog.
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Oh great new's so does that mean you can shower now (lol) have your stitches dissolved already?
The bulldog is just a picture of the dog my son wants .. l feel like he looks
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Annie - I had my PS appt today as well (6 days post op) - got the drain taken out and I only have to wear the compression foob tube for 2 more days and that is only because of having the drain. I like the results and asked about "fluffing" my PS didn't seem to understand what I was saying - he has indicated this is the best they will get. I am still hoping for a little more roundness to the fronts as they seem to be flat across the center, Once my drain hole heals I can wear any kind of bra I find is comfortable and I don't have to see my PS until mid January - is this normal? There is some extra skin on the left side near the center and he said he can fix that when I have the nips added - I haven't told him I am leaning toward the 3D tattoos - I just want some time to see how everything settles.....
Allison
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Alitman I also had my drain removed today isn't that a relief.
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