Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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It's bitterly cold & windy and Bob is fighting a cold (at the stage where the nasal stuff is easing but before it hits his lungs). Colds were so rare these past 3 years that people tend to forget how awful they can feel, even compared to a Paxlovid-treated case of COVID. Despite the frigid temps, the tree pollen count is creeping up--and our cedar out front (part of the juniper family) is doing its best to let the wind spread its reddish pollen around. And the maple & buckeye across the street are starting to release their yellow-green yuck. Our garage is the saving grace, as we don't have to park anywhere outdoors long enough to have to clean anything other than road schmutz off our cars. But my ears & eyes are itching like crazy (wanna scratch one all the way through to the other).
#7 NW won its game against Boise State, but today they're up against #2 UCLA, which is a steamroller. Not hopeful. But we didn't do brackets this year.
Probably staying home tonight due to Bob's "cold." I'm enclosing the word in quotes, because if it does go to his lungs he'll need to go to Urgent Care to get an abx script--and they will test him for COVID. He should get a pneumococcal pneumonia booster, though it won't prevent the mycoplasma kind he had the last time out (pre-pandemic). He had his last case a week after I got over mine (and we had our bivalent shots in Sept.), so my PCP thinks we both have good hybrid immunity. But if it is mycoplasma and I catch it, I'm screwed: I'm allergic to quinolone & sulfa abxes and the alternative, Zithromax, gives me heart palpitations.
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Mary, those meals will come in handy for you after your surgery and will taste even better than it did when you made it!
Cardplayer, the dog picture was the icon by her name, not a regular photo. That was my fault, I couldn’t think what it’s called, not sure icon is even right! Did I mention that while I use technology all the time I am technology challenged! 😂 As for your DB, I didn’t put Purdue to win it all, but I was shocked that they lost in the first round! I had them in the Final Four! Oops! My bracket picks are mostly a mixture of who I think will win and who is a beloved team, and for teams I know nothing about, I also pick by the school location and which one I would most like to visit! So, you can tell it’s very technical! 😂 I pretty much stink at it, but it’s still fun and adds to the whole March Madness vibe. I’m especially happy because I didn’t put out any money so my incorrect picks are not a hard pill toswallow.
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awe - cute puppy.
Mavericksmom - I don’t have a scientific method of picking, usually go with the higher seeds and then pick based on what some of the experts recommend. That’s how I ended up picking Miami to lose and VCU to win. Both didn’t pan out.
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Just looked at my prior post. I'm sure you all figured out I was talking about insurance issues in the third paragraph. Some days I'm thinking too fast or something. On another thread I complained about its being Friday when it was only Thursday. If this is what happens in old age then I've been there for a fair amt. of time now. That would be scary except it is taken out of your hands and you just have to do the best you can.
I change my avatar quite a bit, but it really was with the hope I'd keep thinking about doggies -- likely based on anything that turns up in our grasp at the right time. At the moment I'm now thinking about getting this next little surgery out of the way. I think I am prioritizing but if somehow a dog turned up I would forget all about priorities. We got both Bill and Minnie when least expecting them so as we are prone to taking rescues, it could happen just that way.
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Jackie, I remember when it was a kitten. I haven't changed mine and it is 13 years old. LOL
MM, I have a Medicare Advantage plan that sounds similar to yours. I have been happy with it.
Betrayal, Congratulations on the grandnephew. My grandnephew is 30. Time flies.
Karen, (((((hug)))) we are here for you
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Avatar!!! That’s what I couldn’t think of for the life of me!!!! Thanks Jackie! LOL at how the mind works….or in my case, doesn’t work
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I am 69, diagnosed with BC in 2020, last chemo treatment was January, 2021. I’m not sure anyone here can help me, or maybe someone can direct me where to find recommendations. Since chemo my hair is very porous & and I can’t get styling products to rinse out, so my hair always looks terrible. I keep it short, but wondering if anyone has recommendations for any products to get rid of the buildup? TI
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I have used dish soap. It is terribly drying, but it would give me a fresh start. I use purple Jhirmack shampoo and conditioner, and rarely use styling products. Chin-length bob with light bangs.
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djb23 - maybe baby shampoo or an anti-residue shampoo would help.
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My former hairdresser used to, every once in a while, do a rinse out with vinegar. She was very quick to rinse the vinegar out and I took it that she didn't want me to smell like a bottle of it. She said it got rid of all the residues from shampoos and conditioners. She didn't do it often but did do it. Can't vouch for it much since I never questioned her, but will say that it was when I was much younger than now and I definitely had not had my cancer yet.
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Hair Rinse - My mother used either vinegar or lemon juice regularly after shampooing with with Breck when I was growing up.
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My Mom used vinegar because our water was so hard.
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Thanks everyone. My sleep is awful!!! Two hour on and off. Last night got up 45 minutes after getting into bed and came out to the sofa - snack and fell asleep and went to bed, slept for 2 more hours then up every half hour. Managed to stay in bed till 5:45
Got my labs back from Friday - My PTH rose 50 or 60 points (parathyroid) way out of normal limits - this over less than 4 weeks. And my calcium is inching up higher. Sure hoping the endocrinologist calls me tomorrow. Our friend who is the endo came over Friday morning and was recommending some more digging based on the previous results. I'm going to mention the tests to my Endocrinologist when we talk next which I sure hope is this week and not at my appointment next month. Updated my primary care on Friday. Need to get back into the Nephrologist. How many specialists can one have!!!
Today is youngest's 25th birthday. She got the chocolate pretzels/candy tray we sent and seemed really happy. She has a final this afternoon and one more on Friday. We are going to tell DD#1 this afternoon - and DD#2 and her DH this afternoon. Then make sure when she talks to her sister that she doesn't bring it up as sometimes the girls talk Friday before DD#2 calls up. It will be such a relief when they all know. DS is coming over this afternoon and will stay for dinner.
It's going to be a long, long week. I just want to get to March 27th. Not scared of the PET/CT scan, but of what it might tell. Insurance pre-approved the scan. I'm a wreck. I have a medicare advantage plan, it is through the state retirement system and as a result it is a good plan.
Have a good Sunday.
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Trazodone has turned my sleeping patterns around, Karen. Have you thought of asking for something to help your sleep? You need general good health to get through this with the best possible results.
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Thinking of you Karen. Telling your children today will certainly be a relief for you. I hope you’re able to sleep better tonight. I kept a log (on my iPhone) of all my tests and doctor visits during BC treatment. It helped when I met with various doctors. Sending you a virtual hug.
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Karen, I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I can relate to both your sleep habits (mine are similar) and specialists! I see a cardiologist, urologist, breast surgeon, medical oncologist, lymphedema specialist/plastic surgeon, and two orthopedic surgeons. It does get overwhelming at times! I think that comes with age and our growing health issues. I remember when my parents would say, "if you have your health, you have everything you need!" When I was young, I didn't understand that, but I sure do now! I totally understand your desire to see the endocrinologist ASAP and I am praying you get what you want as waiting is not beneficial to you emotionally or physically! Any chance your friend who is an endocrinologist can pull some strings if you can't get an appointment this week?
The sun is out today but it's cold. Still not complaining. My step-son is stopping by this morning for a visit. He is such a compassionate man! I am glad he is coming to see his father!
PSU lost last night. I am happy they at least made it to round 2. I am not a big fan of basketball, but I will watch when MSU or PSU play. I tell my husband it is a waste of time to watch a whole game, that if you watch the last two minutes of a game, that's all you need. Even if a team is down by 12 or so, they can come back in two minutes. If it is closer than that, the real excitement comes in the last minutes anyway! LOL
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Expedients are for the hour, but principles are for the ages. Just because the rains descend, and the winds blow, we cannot afford to build on shifting sands. -Henry Ward Beecher
Karen you will be on all our minds. I am glad that you will be able to share some of this news now with some of your loved ones. Reassuring others often reassures us as well and makes us feel a bit stronger. I'm with Mary -- being in as good (great sleep) health and well rested gives you the best starting point for getting the upper hand on health issues.
Going out to breakfast this morning. Not sure what I will be able to have, but the family wants to do it so I will find something.
Hope you all have a wonderful day.
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The following advice comes from someone who's always had fine hair--straight when younger, wavy and even frizzy as an adult, thinning post-menopause and during endocrine treatment. As an adult, I've had "virgin" (no color, perm or keratin treatment), permed, dyed (red and blonde), and keratin-smoothed hair. I've used dryers (plain or incorporated into a brush), curling & flatirons, and "negative-ion" heated smoothing brushes:
I would look for a shampoo labeled "clarifying." Drybar makes one, but Prell is cheaper. I had a colorist once tell me that it was called a "strip" shampoo, used to wash out too much or the wrong color of dye. I've been advised many times that other than baby shampoo, any transparent shampoo is on the harsher or "clarifying" side--if it's opaque or pearlescent, it's gentler. Because your new hair is "virgin" (no dye or keratin treatment), you needn't concern yourself about sulfates (nor sulfites or sulfonates) and salt. Many supposedly "sulfate-free" shampoos actually have "sodium chloride" in the ingredients list. The sulfate is a surfactant, which not only enhances lather but helps it bond to the schmutz built up in your hair strand to loosen and wash it away; the sodium chloride actually dissolves applied keratin (as opposed to the inert kind of which your hair is comprised) and some other stubborn hair products. (The latter is why if your hair is dyed or keratin-treated you need to avoid both saltwater or chlorinated pools--or at least wear a good tight swim cap; even a sweaty neck can shorten the life of a keratin treatment or turn your color brassy).
What makes your hair coarse? The strand itself (the core of the hair shaft) has a larger diameter and sometimes an oval or flattened shape.--that's how your follicles produce it. After chemo, when new follicles replace the ones that were killed or damaged, they often are "programmed" to produce finer, coarser, straighter, or curlier hairs--sometimes even a different color. No way to predict that nor to change the diameter or shape of the strand.
The outer surface of the hair shaft is called the "cuticle," which under magnification looks like a shingled roof. If the "shingles" stand out from the strand, your hair appears frizzy, and some conditioner or conditioning shampoo can get stuck underneath where the "shingles" are attached to the strand. That's why to get your hair squeaky-clean (which, you'll see in a minute, you should do only rarely) you need your shampoo to "clarify" it from all that stuff. A diluted apple cider vinegar rinse helps.
But to keep from re-roughing the cuticle next time around, you need to do what you can to smooth it as much as possible. Sleep on a silk satin pillowcase to reduce friction (clip it up off your neck if long enough). Before you shampoo, apply a pre-wash smoothing serum (Drybar's Cure Liqueur or Liquid Glass pre-wash versions are what I used before resuming getting my 3x/yr keratin treatiments) and let it sit 10 minutes before shampooing. Use a gentle shampoo and conditioner. (I tried "micellar water" treatments between shampooing & conditioning, but they didn't make a difference for me). Use warm, not hot water, and your final rinse should be room-temp or cool. Blot, don't rub or wring out remaining water. Use a detangler (wide-tooth comb and product) before drying, even if you let it air-dry on its own. If you blow-dry, towel-dry gently and apply a heat-protectant to keep the cuticle as smooth as possible. Don't use the hottest setting--and when each section is dry, use the dryer's "cool-shot" button for 5 seconds to set either the curl or straightness you just created. Never use a flatiron, hot-ionic smoothing brush or other non-blower hot tool on wet hair! Use the gentlest bristles that still go smoothly through your hair. If you have tangles, use your fingers to ease them--from the ends up, not the roots down.
"Squeaky-clean" hair is unhealthy hair--the only time it's desirable is if your hair has retained too much "product," looks &/or feels limp & greasy after it dries, and therefore needs to be clarified before reconditioning. Your hair is clean enough if you can't feel shampoo or conditioner residue after you rinse. "Squeaky-clean" hair is more vulnerable to breakage--which can make your strands too randomly uneven in length and appear even coarser & frizzier.
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Also, I second the comments about hard water--keeps sufficient lather from forming (both on your body & hair) and also keeps the soap or shampoo from rinsing off. Hard water can actually make your skin feel like it has a "film" on it--because it does!
Karen, I've found that my antihistamine (Zyrtec) and anti-spasmodic (Baclofen) at bedtime, along with .25 mg. alprazolam, helps for sleep. About 1-2 hrs. before I want to sleep, I take 20-25mg. of CBD (as a softgel or gummy--letting the latter dissolve instead of chewing it). Just before my head hits the pillow I take a 5mg. softgel of CBN. CBD makes you sleepier (you can tell when you start yawning and can't pay attention to what you're watching or reading), and CBN helps you stay asleep. I've had an MMJ card since 2018 and IL legalized recreational weed in 2021, but no longer use any THC (i.e., anything you can buy only at a dispensary). Talk to your PCP about any drugs you take at bedtime which can make you too drowsy to keep your balance. At our age (and with weaker bones), fall risk is a concern. BTW, while CBD is appetite-neutral, CBN is an appetite stimulant (because it's derived from degraded THC, which gives you the munchies). But if you're asleep, you aren't eating.
Finally, what Bob had was a cold--or maybe even a late-life-onset allergy. Turns out that none of the Union Health staffers tested COVID-positive: it was two patients, neither of whom were his; and Bob wears his mask in the building except to eat. He's feeling much better--we stayed home last night out of concern for other diners (and to watch basketball), and it was just too cold out anyway. He felt well enough today to go to brunch at the local tavern-bakery and brought me back quiche & salad. We'll probably walk to Regalia tonight, which is why I didn't go out for brunch myself lest I be tempted to drink or overeat.
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Sandy, you are just amazing for the information you know or can turn up for all of us. Thank you, thank you. As an aside, the pill cutter works great, but I do take issue with my fat fingers sometimes missing a bit with centering those tablets just right. I may need to attribute the cutter to Betrayal. I'm past the page now but all of you contribute so much when needed. I totally appreciate it and bless all of you for it.
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Sunny day here but cold. It will start to warm after tomorrow. We will start the beginning with the warmth of possible rains. Hopefully, they won't show up at a bothersome time. We had such a good time earlier today. SILand daughter took us, and his son and daughter-in-law and 1 yr. old grand baby to Denny's for breakfast. Chosen because they had a bit more room and our Waffle House in town here is always crowded and really noisy.
The baby (Fritz) is so very cute. I think he is a bit advanced for his age. He walks pretty well for his age, repeats sound you make and waves high to almost everyone while smiling easily. Good age, as if you ask him for something he willingly gives it to you. Won't be so nice when he figures out what the word no means and follows through. Carries his 'used' diaper to the trash and does not want you to feed him. He wants the spoon and does it himself. My daughter (his grandmother) did everything super early and then slowed down while everyone else her age caught up with her.
Hope you all had a great day.
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Mary - I do take something to sleep and have for years and years!!! And I still sleep lousy. I'm not ready to retire. I need to work for my mental health. While going through treatment, travel is out of the question. The induction chemo is weekly for 16 weeks. Still need to ask more questions about the second phase of treatment. That part, I will have to take some time off work, but I plan to be back in the saddle as soon as I get the clearance. I've managed to travel in the summers and winter breaks. One day, I will be ready to hang up my shingle, but not yet.
I have my PET/CT scan on Thursday and I need to fast after 9:30am - only plain water. I was going to take the day off, but decided I'd do better if I was busy so I'm going to go into work. Yes, I know I'm nuts! but I can always change my mind.
Card - I'm on my third composition book that I take to all doctor appointments - the current one started in January 2019 and till now was barely half way through but the rest will get used up quickly.
We told our DD#1 and SIL. Needless to say they were in shock. I'm sure they are still processing. Son came over for dinner tonight and we talked at dinner. After dinner I gave him the Myeloma book and after a couple minutes he said his head was spinning and put it down. It is just all so overwhelming. We will tell DD#2 Friday morning our time (afternoon her time) - she will be done with finals. I dread telling her the most as she always worries about my health. Cancer coming back is a big fear for her.
Today was DD#2 25th birthday. When we called to wish her a happy birthday she was in tears because her final is so hard. It hurts to see your kids hurt. She was having a few close friends over for ice cream. Her roommate heard her crying and asked if she wanted to cancel ice cream and DD#2 said NO she didn't want to cry all night. She talked later on in the day and she was doing better and smiling. She also sounded good when she talked to her brother. Actually we face timed. She has a great sense of humor. When she was flying home from Italy, she told me there was an "old B" sitting next to her - and I made a comment about being old. She was joking with me about it this afternoon and said she should have told me that I'm not old (implying I"m a B as a joke). We do joke about our ages - most of her friends parents are 12-15 years younger than my DH and I. When she was 16 and at sleep away camp - some of her friends were talking about their mother's turning 40 and DD#2 and another girl said, "we didn't know our mother's at 42"!! I had her the same age as my mother when she was empty nest. DD#2 made our family complete.
Sweet dreams.
PS - posted before I read the last page. Sandy, my hair texture changed after being bald and then AIs. Exemestane change my hair. It went from curly and thick to straggely(sp) - it was lie it grew several inches - that was 2008 and I've kept it shorter since the. I can't complain about my hair, but it just looks better chin length. It looks fuller when it is shorter. I need to get about 3" cut off - I haven't had it cut since September as I was wanting it to grow. Since one of the side effects of the drugs I'll be taking is hair thinning, it will be better. The last time I took Zyrtec, it gave me heart palpitations. I worry about taking the Benadryl as I haven't taking antihistamines since the Zyrtec - which was probably a dozen or more years ago.
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Karen, not all antihistamines are alike. Allegra or Claritin may work better for you, especially the 12-hr. versions. Do you have a bone marrow match? I dread that, because Gordy has Bob's blood type rather than mine; and my sister is a senior citizen herself. I had signed up with Ezer Mitzion decades ago to be a match--but I "aged out" of eligibility, so now I just donate in memory of my cousin who had MDS and then ALL.
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Sandy - it is an autologous stem cell transplant using my stem cells. Use donor cells can be deadly in MM patients. Our three kids all have different blood types - I think my son is the same as my DH. Benadryl is one of the required pre-meds along with acetominophen that needs to be taken 1 hour before injection. Dexamethasone needs to be taken 1-3 hours before injection. My days of donating are over. I was scheduled to donate blood on Feb 28. If my hematologist hadn't moved my appointment to Feb 27 from March 1st, I would have donated.
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Maybe an increase in dosage of sleep med?
Yes, If you would be happier working, go ahead. I never found my niche in the profession, and exhaustion would have been a problem. Sorry, yet again.
They would have found it in their screening for blood-transmitted diseases. HIV transformed their industry.
Glad your kids now know, and it was wise that you didn't tell the daughter until she was done with finals.
My daughter is coming for my first few days after knee replacement. She has decided to put us up at an AB&B, while she does a thorough housecleaning for me (the reason will come later). I called a friend who does AB&B, just a few blocks away, and she could move things around for us. Daughter wants us in a two-bedroom apartment. She found one and marveled at the price.
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Jackie, your Sunday breakfast with family sounds like such an enjoyable outing.
We have a new baby in our extended family, a little boy born to my niece Brittani. The pictures make me smile and add pleasure. For all the criticism of technology, it makes sharing pictures easy.
Karen, I'm impressed with your grasp of your disease and treatment. I continue to wish you the best on your unwanted journey.
Sandy, you could run your own Wikipedia! On the hair topic, we have soft water and I never feel like all the shampoo has rinsed out. I seldom use conditioner but do use a shampoo for colored hair. So far I still have thick hair after celebrating my 80th birthday.
I hired yard help yesterday and will turn over the heavy pruning to someone else at what (to me) is a high price. DH was all for it because they will haul off the cut shrubbery, relieving him of that labor.
We have a busy day ahead. A trip to the court house to renew passports. A trip to Lowe's to pick out a toilet that sits higher for dh and to arrange for a plumber. Plus a couple of other stops.
My computer says it's 28 degrees and Sunny. By the end of the week we're supposed to be back to 80 degrees.
A good Monday to everyone.
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Mary, your daughter sounds so caring and compassionate! How wonderful for her to want to help you out in your time of need!
Karen, I hear you about wanting to keep working. I firmly believe working as long as one can and want to is the way to go.
I had doubts about my retirement recently. I think I was ready, but my decision wasn't just about me, I also had to think of my DH who is not physically well. The truth is, I wasn't loving my job anymore. None of the teachers I worked with were happy at work. There is next to no consequences for bad student behavior, parents rule and the kids are getting lazier. I don't blame the kids at all. Put a device (my school uses chrome books) in the hands of kids who are 11-12 years old, who love to play video games and text friends instead of staying focused on their classwork, what do people think is going to happen? For people who love what they do, I say do it as long as you can! Work gave me interaction with friends and feeling of purpose. I really miss the interaction and find so much time at home is a mixture of less worry over my DH when I am not home, and feeling trapped, having his decline limiting what we can do as a couple. I will me doing more things alone, but I guess that would also be true if I kept working. I still don't know what the financial hit will be for us as I have yet to receive a pension check. Likely won't for another 4-6 weeks, but it is retroactive. I want to remodel the bathroom and we will need a new roof and driveway in the future, but I can't plan on those things until I know what we have to work with.
My grandson is going to have his first holy communion soon. I downloaded the most beautiful saying, which was personalized, via Esty. They are words we can all use from time to time. It reads:
BE YOURSELF for the world deserves to see the beauty inside of you
BE KIND for you never know what someone else is going through
BE ADVENTUROUS for the soul awakens in the face of the unknown
BE BOLD for fear holds you back from your truest self
DREAM BIG for dreams are the stars that guide you throughout life
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Passion doesn't come from business or books or even a connection with another person. It is a connection to your own life force, the world around you and the spirit that connects us all. You are the source. Books, work, music, people, sunsets all provide sparks, but only you can light the fire.
.Jennifer James
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First off, Maverick, what beautiful words. We are sent what we need, so you are being an angel to send something so full of love and meaning. A part of the sparks so many send out to make the world a better place. It is really true that love makes the world go round. It is a positive force for good and no one can ever have too much. We are though in a world that is often tough and giving us problems of one kind or other. It helps us grow to find the key to overcome these problems in a positive way -- so sending out something positive as often as we can, in the most loving way we can, creates a ripple of goodness that spreads in a wonderful way.
Mary you really do have a loving daughter, and Karen you too have children who love you. It is important.
Sunshine and some warmth today which is so appreciated. I have some chores. Some is just the over-all and on-going list that never gets cleared off. It is okay. I hope you all have a great Monday with way more positives than anything else.
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I’m still back on page 4354, trying to catch up. But with a dental appointment this afternoon I’m jumping in to quickly say Mavericksmom, you should have been offered COBRA through your employer. It’s how I continued my dental and health insurance (for 3 years) when I retired. Worth looking into. Anywhere charging $1,000 while insured for a mammogram needs to be dropped. I’ll be back on here probably tonight.
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