Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Thank you so much for all your good wishes and words of encouragement! It certainly helps to connect with ladies who are experiencing similar circumstances.
((Hugs))
Mary
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Hi Teach
Sorry you had to go thru the diabetic issue last night. That is very familiar to me. My late DH had many episodes, two requiring ER visits. It used to make me more angry than anything else, because he never accepted the fact that, as a diabetic, he needed to watch his food intake. By that, I mean he had to eat at specific times each day, and eat a specific combination of foods. He heard the word diet, and he rebelled- no one was going to limit his food. And trust me, the occasional pizza or chicken wings were not the problem. He would eat whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, and "fix" it by adjusting his insulin on his own. The worst times though were when he decided he wasn't going to eat because he wasn't feeling well or, more often, he was upset about something and would refuse anything offered. He would first get very belligerent, then he would behave as if he were drunk, then finally, he would not be able to focus or remember who he or we were. We all learned to recognize the signs, and the kids would offer to go get him any take out food he wanted. I would try to get him to drink a non-diet soda or some OJ, or I always carried the tubes of glucose. Most of the time he would sip the drink, and someone would find some candy. It happened to him a couple of times when he was driving alone, which was terrifying. He would drive around aimlessly, not knowing how he got where he was, and not sure of how to get home. The last time, when he got home, he walked in right behind our daughter, and just leaned on the wall, and asked me to come to him. When I did, he hugged me so hard, and said he wasn't sure if this was the right house, but he thought our daughters car looked familiar. I wish I could say that woke him up, but by that time, his appetite in general was gone and getting him to eat anything was our goal, regardless of whether it was good for him.
I hope yours was a rare episode.
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Oh, my goodness, Anne, what a lot you've been through with your dh. How frustrating that must have been.
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Our little group is growing! Welcome (and welcome back) Mary and Diane. We tend to be pretty silly sometimes, serious the next day, crushed by something tragic sometimes and laughing like fools before long. There's a little teasing, mostly revolving around chickens and stripper poles. I think we share everything and there's plenty of TMI here. I love all the stories of each person's life and the fun memories from the 40's, 50's, and 60's. I'm keeping track of birthdays so either send me a PM or post yours here. If you want to, tell us something that happened the year you were born and we'll try to guess the year.
Here's something new...everyone has a secret that most people don't know. What's yours? Mine? I was a professional singer in the 60's.
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Sandra, that is amazing. I'm in such awe of people who can sing, or even play instruments. I wanted to sing when I was much younger. A few people ( possibly being kind ) said I sounded just like Kitty Wells. She was a country-western singer. It never went anywhere at all. Hate the fact that I can't even hum nicely since I had my stroke, but hey....life goes on and in the scheme of things it is fairly minor.
Hmm, well, the only thing that comes to mind for me is that I cleaned for John Travolta. People asked me what he was like. Well, he didn't talk down to people and so he talked to me like you would talk to anyone. I soon forgot about the 'glamorous ' part and never thought of it again. It is in my mind --- just a nice experience/memory.
Jackie
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Sandra, did you perform solo or with a group? Did you travel a lot?
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Sally, I did both. In high school I made extra money by singing at weddings and parties. That led to singing with a band in a club and being "discovered" by an agent. I sang solo all through New Jersey & Pennsylvania, flying into a city where I knew no one and had only the address of the club I would be working at. Music was changing and bookings were coming slower so I asked my agent to find me a band so I could work. I moved to Atlanta and became the girl singer in an established band. It wasn't big time by any means. We played mostly colleges but at least I was working all the time. Do you remember the duo called Paul & Paula? Well Paula left and I was asked to be the new Paula. I had just met my future husband so I turned it down. Gee, I could have been an act on Oldies shows even now. Instead I married the man of my dreams.
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Anneb, it is so helpful that someone understands. My DH's mother used to make what she called tiger cake, a marble cake, and cry if he wouldn't eat a piece. Most of he time he does fine, but after a day of yard work in the heat, it was a bad gamble. I don't adjust my heart meds on my own!!
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Oh Sandra - of course I remember Paul & Paula. I don't think I do links right, but if this isn't live you can copy & paste. You were big time!!!
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Thanks Jackie - you have a knack for hitting the nail on the head esp when you talked about disconnecting from people who cause you pain. I have had to do that to 2 friends - now X friends. Sometimes I miss them - k when they acted like real friends- but I know in the long run I'm better off. Spending more time with the ones who really care.
Thank you Anne. Sorry about issues with your DH. How scary for all of you. Wow where do you manage to get all of your strength and courage from. Hoping things get better soon.
Diane
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Sandra that is so cool. I remember Paul and Paula..hey, hey Paula..
Diane
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Oh Anne - you must have felt terrified. It's nice to get the news from you all just before going to sleep. We're having a huge thunderstorm tonight and the dog is plastered to my knee. Tomorrow I head to Wichita for some training in clown skills. Anyone here in Wichita?
Thanks for the tip about the preview button. That's the critical step I was missing.
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Sandra,
I certainly remember Paul & Paula. I loved that song!
I have a few things to share. My cousin wrote Sunday Will Never Be the Same by the Mama's and the Papa's. He also wrote songs for Bette Midler. Remember the movie The Rose? I'm not sure if he wrote the song The Rose, but I do know he wrote songs that were in The Rose. He continues to write in Tennesse.
My Dad used to do Al Jolsen - costume and all! My cousin sang in Vegas and then in a small night club here in NJ - in the 60's. He was more like the Bobby Darin type.
I adore people with talent - singing, playing instruments and dancing etc. What a beautiful gift! I love to sing - but no one wants to hear me! LOL
My daughter tied for second in a piano competition here in NJ when she was in HS. She sings beautifully as well. Doesn't crack with those high notes (Whitney Houston, I Will Always Love You), but never did anything with it. She auditioned for Annie back in the 80's. She was down to the last 10, then they canceled the show.
Now my granddaughter who is 10 yrs old is playing piano and dances - ballet and jazz. Two months ago, she performed with her class at Lincoln Center in NY. My husband and I are so proud of her!
Sandra, keep singing. You make the world around you a more beautiful place!
Blessings....
Mary
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Love music of the 60's.
My secret is visible but the number is still scary to me. I lost 75 pounds by changing eating habits and exercising. Developing heart issues meant I had to change. It was a real challenge but I've kept it off for over two years now and continue to do cardio 5-6 times a week.
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I also loved Paul &Paula. I guess the "secret" I have is that when I graduated from a two year college, I got a job as an "option trader" on Wall St. I dealt with hundreds and thousands of dollars on paper every day at the 3rd largest brokerage company on Wall St. Most exciting part: I was one of only 8 females in that position in the whole country. Now that whole field has changed.
Anne
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Just sitting here reading while the rain pours down outside. We are Wi-Fi so I can stay on and not worry too much. Also have good surge protectors hook into my " good stuff " here in the bedroom I use as a little office.
I admire talent of all kind....which means Mimi, I really think your special for enhancing yours in the clown field. Means even more now with your diagnosis and treatment that you are "giving" all the time and making the world a better, more fun place for kids and their parents.
Sally, Mary and those who love music. I can't remember a time when music or my Mom singing ( not going to spell this right I bet ) Mairsy Dotes didn't thrill me. Music takes you away from the world for awhile....or it always has me and helps me get un-hooked in part or sometimes when fortunate in whole from the travails and trouble of getting through the journey of life.
A sample of Zanfir.....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyI5Z5fJrBc&feature=player_embedded
Sample of Perpetumn Jazille http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=yjbpwlqp5QwI hope these play for you. I'm not real good at dropping in links. If not, I do hope you will go to You Tube and ask for them because they really do help you drift from your issues into a better place for a bit.
Well, time to think about getting the morning work done. Will be back later.
Blessings
Jackie
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Sandra, thanks for sharing. You have had an interesting life ... you continue to have an interesting life.
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Mimi, have fun at clown school.
I envy all of you who are musical in any way. I cannot carry a tune and have trouble keeping the beat when dancing. One time at camp, I was asked to beat a tom-tom for some now unremembered reason ... I was a failure.
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Sally, you are too funny.....I don't do the beat very well anymore either. I did forget to mention something about Zamfir who is to me master of the pan flute. Pan flutes are wooden ones....and Zamfir makes his own and even was able to create a couple of notes to add onto his flute. I so appreciate his music. We went to one of his concerts in Santa Barbara one time and it was a unique and fantastic experience. He was given a 20 mins. ovation and I'm not sure that people REALLY wanted to stop clapping then, but at some point you have too. I kept a tape of his " The Romance of the Pan Flute " for a long time. In fact, had an LP as well. Wore them all out.
Blessings
Jackie
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Me either Sally. My father who was a great dancer tried - that being the operative word - to dance with me at my first wedding and gave up! 2 left feet but if I consume a few alcoholic beverages I'm pretty good. Love the music of the 60s too! You felt like singing and dancing when you listened to that music. What a great decade for songs! I turn it up full blast when I'm driving noise ordinance be damned.
Diane
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Many people want to dance but are afraid to. My husband and I taught couples dance classes for years and we've heard every excuse in the book. We've also seen lots of people who think they are good dancers and are not at all shy about getting out there...but they are terrible. It doesn't matter. In our classes, we told the couples that we were going to teach them how to have fun on the dance floor, not how to audition for Dancing With the Stars. People relax when they are taught a few basic steps in a couple of styles.That's why they don't want to dance...especially men...they don't want others to see that they don't know how. (It's like men who don't want to stop to ask for directions...a "blue" thing that "pink" doesn't understand.) At the first class I began lecturing the women to stop telling men they were doing it wrong, even if the guys WERE wrong. That would be our job. The women was to stick to doing what she was supposed to do. I had to reinforce that for the first couple of weeks because some women really ruin it for men by criticizing them. Our guys always began reluctant and shy but by the end of the second week, they had blossomed into beginning dancers. In thousands of couples, we never lost one. Several came back for refreshers. Most of these people would never be mistaken for good dancers but the important thing is that they were no longer afraid and were having fun. Plus nobody looks at the bad dancers...we look at the good dancers. We taught four week classes, 1.5 hr each. Rumba, Swing & ChaCha, Fox Trot & Salsa, and Waltz & Merengue. Also taught twice on cruise ships. Haven't taught since my stroke last year because my balance was affected. I miss it.
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Sandra, How cool is it that you could have been the Paula in Paul and Paula! I love it! I'm a Paula and I still remember walking down the hallways as a junior (or maybe sr?) in high school and having friends sing out to me...."Hey, Hey Paula!" at the height of their popularity.
After taking an early retirement as a program manager from the Dept of Justice, I decided to follow a dream and take acting classes. It took me a year after to have the nerve to audition for my first play and I was cast (nurse Miss Preen, in "The Man Who Came to Dinner"). What a hoot! Until bc took over my life, I still dabble in all things acting. I've done lots of print work, community theater, commercials, industrials and lots of medical role playing. That last experience gave me the leg up to be cast by a medical marketing company to portray a certain kind of patient who was interviewed by specialists in a traveling gig last May, where I went to NYC, Dallas and LA. I did a similar job for the same company 4 years ago (different medical condition - different MD specialists).
Sandra - I so envy you your ability to sing! What a gift that is. I can't carry a tune and I've always said in my next life, I'll be able to sing! Thanks for sharing.
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How fun you guys! And Mary, The Rose was my most favorite song of all time! I remember taking my little cassette player out back, setting up the ironing board, and playing all of Bette Midler..... as LOUD AS I COULD! I would iron, and sing along with all the songs! Me and Bobby McGee! Wow, I would REALLY crank it up about then!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWWxfHjwqIM
I loved all the music from the 50's through the 80's.... and yes, Disco music too!
My Brother has always been a drummer in Nashville.... Still is, and he loves it! He has played for Jerry Lee Lewis, Ray Charles, and so many other singers! He used to play with Ralph Emory...sp?.... At that hotel every week!
Man, looks like we have a LOT of talented gals on here! I'll BBL and talk more in the morning !
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I just found this Forum, after posting on the one for people who are waiting for "results". I had asked on that Forum if there was a Forum somewhere that just dealt with issues of aging, in general. Then I found this one and though it's specific to breast cancer, do any of you know of any Forums, anywhere that just deal with issues related to aging?. I'm 71, in Canada, and waiting for results of a needle biopsy. I've found posting on the Waiting Forum to be very helpful. I got some supportive comments. So, if after the waiting I find out I have breast cancer, I'll be on this website. The radiologist who did my needle biopsy said it looked "very suspicious" and she would recommend a surgeon take it out, but I have to wait about a week for the results, and then will be referred in necessary. In the meantime, if you have any recommendations for Websites/Forums related to aging in general, I would love to hear about it. Thank you.
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PJC, here's hoping your diagnosis is benign. These are the only discussion forums I know about.
What interesting experiences you ladies have had! Count me among those not able to carry a tune. I'm always afraid to sing audibly in church or in any situation where an audience sings. I had hoped to talk dh into taking dance lessons after he retired but he will not relent. We have never danced. Therefore, wedding receptions with dancing are a real drag. I think dancing would be lots of fun and good exercise.
I played 9 holes with the ladies golf group today. It was cart path only and very slow. My threesome decided to quit and go in to lunch about 11:30. After lunch, I went to Walmart and shopped. Took my purchses home and then went to Sam's Club Now DH and I are watching Jeopardy and sipping cold martinis.
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The rose is such a beautiful song and has inspired a lot of good conversation here. Somehow I missed the beginning of the Paul and Paula chatter. But Sandra! I think one of my favorite memories is the ballroom dance lessons. Injustice a few weeks life on the dance floor changed to such fun and confidence. Romantic for sure when you are not feeling foolish. I am still amazed at the people who can teach, especially women who could just step in to the mans part to teach. Thank you on behalf of all wives who had their lives enriched. I just finished line dance lessons because it doesn't require a partner.
I'm part way to Wichita. My cabin was on the route. There was four inches of rain last night here. The gangplank to the dock is submerged, but it will be ok in a while I think. Five hours to clown school tomorrow.
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Carole, we all have our own talents. You can play golf and I have no athletic talent whatsoever. I'm a failure at every sport I've tried. Can't draw either. My kids used to ask me to draw something for them and my husband would start laughing under his breath across the room. Yes, I'm that bad. He says I'm the only person he knows who draws stick rabbits.
Anne, I'm so impressed by your Wall Street career. That must mean you are a millionaire, right? I've heard about those big bonus payouts. Mary, you come from such a musical family and it seems to have trickled down to the next two generations as well. That's great. MomMom, you are a working actress! WOW. Chevy and Jackie have country music connections... I'm so impressed with all your stories. I want MORE. Come on, everybody, SPILL IT.
PJC, welcome to our group of AWESOME ladies. You are at the worst stage. We can surely sympathize since every single one of us has been in your shoes. Once you get a diagnosis it gets better because there is a plan at last.
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Welcome PJC. I don't have much to add except the waiting is miserable. We are "well seasoned " here and always keep our door open for anyone who might need a sympathetic shoulder and listening ear. We are not a large group but are a fair representation. Someone helped us through and we stay here because we care about other people as much as we care about each other.
I worked until 9:45 p.m. tonight and will go in at 7:15 tomorrow and get off at 8 pm. Same for Friday night and then Saturday most of the day.......so quote will likely be late those days....maybe not until the evening hours but I'll get one here.
I'll see you all later and hope you have a wonderful night. I hope you all listened to Zamfirs rendition The Rose. It is one of my favorites as well.
See you all soon.
Blessings
Jackie
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I just want to say, Sandra is so right about the dancing. We were the other way around tho. DH grew up in a family that loved to dance, was taught the steps as a kid. I never learned, so I just believed I had two left feet. Several years ago some friends invited us to an introductory session at a studio, and it was so simple the way they taught it that I caught on and was hooked. We danced our way through bronze and silver levels, danced on cruises, danced at home – until my knees gave out. We danced one dance on our last cruise, and it was painful. But we did it.
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My parents belonged to a "Gay 90's" dance group that met 6 or 8 times a year. I went to dance classes as a teen. It was soooooo much fun. My 2nd DH promised before the wedding that he would learn to dance & we would go dancing at least once a month. We went dancing once in 20 years. Sigh.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edQW6RYQklo