Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Oh Jackie love it.
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Beautiful cool morning here that will warm later. Had I recalled upon waking, that it was Sunday I might have attempted lying in bed awhile. Somehow ( scary older age, hmmm ) I got it into my head it was Monday.
Great entries to read this morning.
Joan I was touched with our description of your Dad. I've known so many people who often appear to have sort of perpetuated your life after they married. Meaning.....I thought my parents drank too much ( and they did but were not alcoholics ) and my first husband though classified as a genius was a severe alcoholic. Chevy I think has had some of the issues. Also, meaning that even if we didn't do a repeat when we married -- there are still issues.
I have/was fortunate. I learned after marrying an alcoholic just exactly what that was and how it affected the life of everyone around. It helped me soooo much to forgive my parents. It would have been great if some of my childhood incidents had NOT happened, but in retrospect -- I am who I am EXACTLY because my life played out in certain ways. So, each one of those recalled incidents I see as a stepping stone. Also why I feel that as old souls we set things up before we come to this life that will help us grow through much that is negative. While some of it was truly almost debilitating at the time.....I also see that these two people had to agree to have a life and lifestyle that matched my needs as an old soul. We all went through the same experiences together -- and ultimately I think -- all came out better for it.
Chevy -- I am so glad that things went well at the reception. Some things are meant to be and what a comfort to have them go well. Sure you did sleep well because your mind was not filled with all the negative thoughts and feelings you would have not been able to control otherwise. We are given gifts and it is something to cherish.
Cammie, we really are all in FEAR of something. But oh how great it feels to have somewhere you can go ( right here ) and say it. Talking about things that are very bothersome and even painful just zaps so much of the negative energy and it so helps when you know someone ( older people are so good at this because they have been there and done it all pretty much ) who can have empathy without any kind of criticism. Not making someone wrong about something is a priceless gift.
I hope you all have a stupendous Sunday because you all deserve just that.
Blessings
Jackie
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Jackie, did you really have plans? I mean when I was in High School, I only wanted 3 things....
3 things for my whole life plan..... I wanted to be able to get married... And THEN my dream was to have children..... and my last wish was to have my own home!
I promised myself this when I was 16. And at the time, they all sounded impossible to me!
But after I got a Husband, and had our girls, and then many years later, we could BUY our home, and THEN when we signed the papers, all my dreams and prayers were answered..... !
I never wanted a new car, or furniture, or stuff we couldn't afford.... so we worked and earned everything we have now....
Sounds silly looking back on that, but when I wrote this all down for a class we were in, that's all that was important to me.
A few bumps along the road, but so far so good, Ha!
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Well, here's my post shaved photo. Actually I like it better than the
short hair photo, maybe cuz it's slightly out of focus and the wrinkles
aren't as evident!
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Well, I give up for today! I wrote two posts and lost them both! BAD WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH!!!!
Hope everyone has had a great day.
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I had a nice long post but lost it. Sometimes this laptop is a PITN (neck.) I haven't been here since last weekend and just spent several hours reading five pages of posts to catch up. Took me 2 hours! OK, nobody post anything for a few minutes so I can feel all caught up for awhile.
I'm pretty worried about my husband, who never gets sick. He got bitten by a brown recluse spider back in early April and is still suffering repercussions. The wound is still not completely healed but apparently that's not uncommon. When the bite gets infected, it can cause a lot of damage. (A friend had to have fingers amputated on one hand because they couldn't get the infection under control.) Mike was on steroids and two rounds of antibiotics to get it to respond. We did not realize that odd things he started experiencing the next month had anything to do with it. On our May trip to Chicago, he had several episodes of nearly fainting when he stood up and couldn't walk very far because of pain in his hip and shoulder. He saw his doctor about his shoulder but failed to mention the other things. (Men!) By the time we got back from our Florida trip in June, he was getting pale and tired. His doctor said he was low on iron and put him on supplements but that was it. He started to lose weight and had little appetite. I finally badgered him into going back to the doctor. It was a mystery until the doc remembered the spider bite several months before. He did extensive blood work and Mike has developed hemolytic anemia from the spider venom. 30% of people do. In spite of increased supplements, his numbers are still dropping and he's lost about 25 lbs. He also has some purple/red splotches on his forearms and some odd bruises. Friday he had a colonoscopy because the doc said that can be a hidden cause of his anemia not to respond. Test was good. 3 polyps removed, but doc feels they were benign.
So Mike is worried. He gets quite depressed when too many bad things come at him and he was thrown into a sad mood when we lost Wesley 9 days ago. I've never had to worry about his health. It's always the other way around. I'm afraid he has leukemia or non-Hodgkins lymphoma. This week when he sees his primary care doc, I'm going with him and will ask if Mike could see a hematologist. This has gone on too long. We're into month 5 now.
My daughter Stephanie, who lives in St. Petersburg, FL, adopted two little kittens 15 months ago. She has been the best kitty mom EVER. Unfortunately one of them got sick before Christmas and had to have an operation. He has something called FIP (feline infectious peritonitis) which kills kittens usually within a week or two. It is 100% fatal and there is no treatment for it. Stephanie researched and got Maxwell in on some trials and studies with experimental meds. She's corresponded with all the top vets in the country and had managed to bring him through all the infections he's had. His eyes began to get hemorrhages last month, so they knew time was running out. The end is awful for FIP cats, with seizures and pain. Stephanie and her vet talked it over and knew it was time to let him go. Oh my goodness it was hard to see her going through such pain 1100 miles away. She had beaten the odds and kept him alive and mostly pain free for another 7 months, which is a record for FIP cats.
This was just after he went to sleep. She wrote: "Maxwell passed away peacefully in my arms at 3pm this afternoon, July 28th, 2014. Rest well, my precious baby boy. If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever."
Goodness, we all cried buckets on the phone several times the day before she took him last Monday and it continued for a few days. Our Wesley had died 4 days prior, so it was all simply too much. People who aren't "pet people" won't understand, but it's a crushing loss for her. She has always wanted children but has been unable to. At 37 and divorced, she finally accepted that fact and poured all her maternal instinct into the two little furry brothers. Losing one was so hard. She's doing ok. I'm glad she still has Kelvin. She says she will never get another kitten. She feels she could not possibly stand the loss of another one.
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Oh Sandra..... I cried too.....just reading your story. It just reminded me of Lacee....
Your Daughter is precious.... she sounds like me..... I just can't take losing someone I loved so very much. I'm sorry.
Carole, I was so excited about Junior winning the race..... but I read about Sandra, and I almost forgot~ Did your DH watch it?
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Sandra, what a worry you have about your dh's health! I've heard that the brown spider bites can cause serious problems.
Also sorry that your daughter has been through a sad time with losing her kitten.
Your trip to Alaska is coming up soon, isn't it?
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Who sees wrinkles Puffin with your smile and bright eyes. You are just as great looking as you were in the picture with hair. I could not carry "bald" off well at all, though I did run around at home without anything on my head when it was warm enough.
To tell the truth, I barely recall most of those days. I tend to let a lot of negative events remain, but they are not recalled much. Now of course, the really nice or happy events are less than skin deep and they can come trotting out with no trouble at all. The other things I sometimes have to sit and think a bit. Congratulations on a good look on you and looking spiffy when most people would say no way. You are henceforth liberated from something that could have had a HUGE effect on you and you handled it with style and grace.
Jackie
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Puffin, I'm sorry the quote did not print out. Rats. I should have downloaded it first. Wow -- just that short while of looking for the quote and then Sandra's note. I will write you a pm Sandra and you can still feel mostly caught up.
I am though in advance sending lots and lots of virtual hugs and healing vibrations to your daughter and her beautiful friend. She paid such stunning tribute, out of love, by letting him go to the Bridge. My heart goes out to all of you.
Blessings
Jackie
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I'm sorry, I forgot to say Puffin! You look just HAPPY now! No more worries about anything falling out! It's gone, and clean!
You ALSO have a very nice shaped head!
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Sandra: sending prayers for your hubby, hope he can get in to see a hematologist, that sounds like a good idea, so sorry about your daughter, what a tough way to lose a pet
IllinoisLady: thank you for the encouraging words, this is all taking a little getting used to, loved the quote
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Okay gals..... I'll NEVER get this right today..... Sandra.... so sorry about your Husband!
I was also bitten by a Brown Recluse Spider..... twice! I sat on one.... and a few days later, my butt really swelled up, was hot & red, and hurt! Went to the Doctor's, and I had to take anti-biotics, but it finally cleared up....
Then it happened again... I sat on one, on the porch! Now I sit in chairs.... but those bites, if not treated can leave horrific scars!
So the venom started all this? Don't know if that is related, to all his problems going on now, but I would write down a lot of questions to ask the Doc! Then write down the answers. Has he had blood work done with specific tests taken care of? See if the Doc will order those tests, and if not, ask to see a Hemotologist.
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Sandra,
Back to say hope you are able to get some "GOOD" help and answers for your dh. I can see how other things could happen and seem un-related to the spider bite. I likely would have dismissed it as not germane too, but I'm glad you are on the ball.
Chevy has a good idea....maybe a list of questions and you there to help dh fill in some of the blanks on things. It is time I think to work on getting this cleared up.
Wishing you both well.
Jackie
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Sandra - good vibes to your husband. If I could make one recommendation... Go to the doctor with your husband. My husband and I started going together to the doctor when I was diagnosed with cancer. It has really helped both of us. Everyone needs an advocate, and who better than your spouse? He thinks of the questions that fly away from me when I'm being seen and vice versa for him. We always take a notebook and have questions written down. Whomever is the advocate writes down the answers provided by the doctor, so that we have a reference when we are no longer in the office.
Thanks for the appreciation of our sunrise - to be honest I missed the best part of it, as I was castigating myself for not having my camera - and then remembered that my phone had a camera, too. One of the reasons I love going fishing with my hubby is the truly gorgeous scenery that we get to enjoy.
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While I was reading five pages of posts that I missed, I took notes because I knew I wouldn't remember. Somebody please fire me as the one to remind you of upcoming birthdays. That's two in a row now that I've missed. I promise to do better. If you have not posted your birthday or sent me a PM, please do so I can add it to the list. (I didn't say I'd remember to tell everyone...just that I'd add it to the list.
)Chevy, so sorry I missed your big day. What did you do to celebrate? Your husband is kind to feed the squirrels so well and to always have dog biscuits ready. I tried congee on our January cruise. Most of the cruise lines have it on the breakfast menu at least. Thanks for the recommendation for a new drink, Bocce Ball. I'm always on the lookout for something new to stump the cruise bartenders. I'll try it on the Alaska cruise at the end of this month. Joan - lol - cleaning before the cleaning woman comes - silly girl That was sweet of you to post pictures of Chevy's bucket list items. Is your itch gone? What a strong woman you've had to be with children with birth defects. Puffin, I love your garden pictures and your new "look". You've had a double whammy with BC and a bum rotator cuff. So sorry. I'm going to dig out some popsicle recipies for you...I know I have one for wine-sicles and margarita-sicles. How interesting that you are a "birder." I just saw a t.v. show about the birds of Galveston Island. Come to Texas! I'm going to check out RoadScholar. Kaara, my mother had macular degeneration and got the injections in her eyes too. She had always planned to do so many crafts when she retired, but the disease made it impossible. Cringed when I read about the dentist. I HATE going and won't even go for a cleaning unless dragged and medicated. Any progress with your Vit D? Mine has been in the toilet for over a year. I take 50,000 unit tablets every other day but it keeps going down. Anne, sorry for the family problems. It's awful to be in the middle, isn't it? The engagement pics are beautiful. She's so tiny! Both my daughters have infertility issues. Stephanie has miscarried twice but not able to conceive after that even with fertility doc helping. The stress contributed to her divorce. Allison is 41 and married only to her career. The biological clock started ticking. Last year she decided to try artificial insemination after months of hormone injections to get ready. (She barely puts out eggs) It worked on the first try but it was an ectopic pregnancy. She's tried two more times with no luck. Teacher, I admire anyone who can sew. My mother used to make all my clothes but I didn't inherit the ability. How is your recovery going? My goodness...home the same day as the surgery! Carole, you are such an active person. Biked 23 miles...in one day??? Any tips on kayaking? Mike and I are scheduled to kayak in Alaska. I've never done it. Our plan to buy a 5th wheel came to a halt last year so I'm living the dream through you. Blondie, how did the pulmonary doc appt go? I'm a huge fan of hospice every since they helped me with my mother six years ago. Angels work in hospice. Jackie, as usual you know just the right thing to say to us all. We are so blessed to come here and the cherry on the top is you! I hope the lady keeps the cat or finds a good home. We figured out we had an invisible neon sign on our house (visable only to cats.) We said we'd keep the kitty until we found a good home...but realized after awhile that our home was good. We got up to 9 at one point, but are down to only 3 now. Mommarch, low platelets sounds scary. Do they give blood transfusions for that? Bless you for being a hospice volunteer. I always knew you were an angel. Cami, you party girl! Do you take a stripper pole when you go to these parties? Loved your pic of the cake with too many candles. I had a party for my husband the year he turned 50 and put 50 candles on the cake. The smoke detectors went off! MomMom, your wig looks completely natural! GardenGumby, loved the Tacoma picture. We will be up your way soon since our cruise leaves from Seattle. I'm a big supporter of acupuncture too. PJC71, I hope you find a group that's right for you. If not here, there are lots of threads full of compassionate women. Hi Sally, Minus, Wren, Martha and our darling clown. OMG, I'm leaving someone out. I had two pages of notes and now can only find one. Oh well, I'm sending love to everyone.
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One more...
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puffin love the head, you have a nice one, me not so much, people would stare, especially kids didn't care really didn't put anything there...
Sandra sorry about your dh, didn't know a spider could do that, breathe, come here and we will try to make you feel better...so sorry about the kitten, that makes me want another one, was going to a month ago but changed my mind now I want to again.. the pulmonary dr. said I don 't have to go back unless I want to, gave me prednasone, if it makes me gain weight it will be done...loving the weight I have lost (almost 197 to now 165) have to go to the MO on Friday, we will talk about hospice...it isn't llike it used to b, they do have that one but the one they want to put me on is b/c i stopped chemo, a nurse comes to your house once a week and takes the vitals, they get your meds, you don't have to go to the drs. unless you want to, they can get you services and things you need, so I will probably try it and if I don't qualify in a while they will put me back down to supportive care until it is time to move back up, thanks for asking...
Jackie now that I am older I realize that my father's alcoholism probably came from him being in the war and seeing his friends die, he would tell me that all the time, and cry (I am adopted) he grew up Pennsylvania Dutch German in upstate PA and was sheltered like you would think they were like the amish...I think he was drafted, have his papers downstairs..he was very depressed his whole life, but was a mean drunk, never beat me, just my mother. Of course I married and got into relationships with drinkers, I don't drink really, haven't in a couple of years, but would do a shot right now if someone gave it to me, lol.....you know if was like I couldn't bring friends to my house, but all my friends loved my father, me he was annoyiing, now I feel bad that I didn't understand...He dies in 1988 and my mother died in 1996...
me 2 just wrote alot and it went, omg, I wish the moderators could fix it that it would stay if you hit back or something.....or save it every minute or so and put it in drafts, along with spell check!! MODERATORS....chevy and garden, big hugs...
thanks for listending friends, have a good night, big brother is on, love that show still addicted after 16 seasons.
Sandy aka blondie
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Sandra, Those brown recluse spiders are bad news. I hope they find out how to help your husband get better fast. Hugs for you and your DD about the kitty. I cried too thinking about my black kitty who died years ago. The black ones are just special in my opinion. I hope the remaining kitty doesn't miss him too much.
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Sandra - sorry about your DH. I was hospitalized once w/what they thought was a brown recluse bite but turned out to be a chigger bite infected with staph. I was going to say the bugs in Texas are so much fun but Chevy lives in CO. LOVE the cabbage password saga. LOL & So true. I asked on another thread, but isn't your Alaska trip soon? Are you still meeting up with Di? Hope your DH is better in time.
Blondie - you used to be able to hit preview & your post would stay there while you searched back & forward. Hasn't worked since the last upgrade. I just notified the MODS again last week.
What's this about a stripper pole Cami?
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Sandra, I hope your DH finds answers soon to what's wrong and gets a treatment plan for a speedy recovery. My sympathies to your DD.
Puffin, your smile is warm and your eyes kind. You are a good role model for those reading who are facing chemo hair loss.
Hi Jackie, Chevy, Carole, Cami, Blondie, Wrenn44, and GardenGumby ... hopefully I did not miss anyone.
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Hi MinusTwo. You posted while I was typing.
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I'm back from clown camp and feel refreshed for a whole new year. There are new people here that I will learn more about in the coming weeks. Blondie, glad to see you're really joining in. Chevy, keep the jokes coming. The texting one made me laugh right out loud. REALLY I'll just post a picture so you get the idea about how the week went. Oh, and my line dance lessons paid off. Picture 75 clowns doing the Electric Slide and Cupid Shuffle under the fireworks display as we had the cast party after the All Star Clown Show. I'm the short one in the red wig. (Sweet Mimi)
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Mimi, that group looks like fun ... I can definitely imagine the fun of line dancing clowns.
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SANDRA! Ha, ha! I nearly choked when I saw your first picture about the passwords!
That was hysterical....! I copied it and sent it to my Daughter's.... YOU miss Sandra, are getting to be more like me and Cammi everyday....So YES! I met my Denver Daughter for lunch, with Rosie and Sheilah! Okay, Rosie came from Viet Nam when she was a little girl, grew up, and has known us for a million years. She and my Daughter worked together, and that's how we met her. Terrible life as a little girl in Viet Nam... But it's amazing to listen to her talk about her early years.... she is "our Daughter from another Mother" So she is just part of our family. Sheilah is DD's Xhusband's Mother! Daughter and her Son were married for about 4 long years.... But thank GOD they didn't have Children. I told her to come over every morning for coffee and a BC pill!
Motorcycles, partying, smoking whatever, just caused so much trouble, so they divorced. He is STILL the same! Never grew up.... His Mom and Dad have very little to do with him now, because he just wore them OUT, trying to live off of them, etc..... But we LOVE her! She is like an older Sister to me.... always has been... So lunch was delicious at Red Robin, and we just laughed and had fun! I had to wear a party hat !
Mimi, you should have been there... Ha! You guys all look like so much FUN! I found this one video his morning, so I'll go back and post it here.... I laughed out loud and woke DH up! OH WELL! Crab! I have to refrain myself when I am in the company of oldsters and crabs.
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It's THIS one, about the animals being "jerks!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vx1OVLX5RcMinus.... Cammi was just telling us all about her past life, as a .... um..... "dancer" on a stripper pole. Hear tell she was quite good at this.... like ME, but I gave it up when I fell off.... That girl has been around the block, they say.... she has scars to prove it.... like me! But don't ask her.... she will feign dis-belief.... and act like she knows nothing. But WE know........
Blondie.... My Dad just drank because he wanted to! Because Grandpa took him to the bar with him, and sat him on his lap, and told him to drink! I have never known a "nice" drunk. They were all mean. Funny how you carry so many grudges, not even knowing what they were, when you were little, and even into growing up! How you just try and "remove" yourself from all that going on!
But then as my Dad got so much older, and Mom passed away, I really got to "know" him! He finally needed me... and I was then his "little girl." I couldn't care less about him before this... but seeing him so hurt, and broken down with losing Mom, just changed me completely! I started talking Long Distance to him every day.... he would finally "talk" to me about their life, and how he was hurting. He told me he would put his arm across Mom's pillow, thinking she was still there.... Took all those years, of them being miserable, and NOW he wanted her!
So I got to know him finally.... and I cared so much about him.... Telling me stories about the War, and the things he had to do while in Hiroshima after the bombing... I kept trying to see him in CA whenever I could.... But he got so sick.... All those years of drinking and smoking.... and then losing Mom... But I had 1 & 1/2 years of closeness with my Dad... That means so much to me.....
Yeah, we kind of pick the same type of men, right? But I think everything happens for a reason, and we just have to hang tight and hold on!
Sandra.... How is your DH? Know anything yet! Damn spiders!
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Mimi: I was thinking of you at camp this weekend, what a fun looking group photo, glad your batteries are recharged
Sandra: that password story made me laugh, but sadly it's so close to the truth
Tried making another popsicle recipe yesterday: 1 cup yogurt, 1 cup mixed strawberries, blueberries and banana, 1/4 tsp vanilla blended together. Good, but think it'll be better with vanilla rather than plain yogurt.
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