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Thanks evryone for prayers for sleep. it's the Aromasin. Following the same pattern as arimidex. Problem though when I am sleeping my sweetheart dog thinks this now normal and has been waking me up when I am sleeping. UGHHHH.
Come to insomnia thread if you are awake , can't guarantee anyone will be there, never know.
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where is the insomnia thread??
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Hello Sisters,
I have been catching up over the past several days. Tori, I am so sorry you have Shingles. That's really tough. I pray you feel better soon, and most likely due to all of the stress you are under? Bless Your Heart.
I thank everyone for their prayers and well wishes. I'm not have the most fun ever. This has been rough, and we kept it simple, no fat transfer (my MD sort of hinted this may not be the last surgery.) The Alloderm was flapping in the wind on the tissue expander that was "Breech" and so the skin flap is very thin on the radiated side, and they did not get adequate stretch from the expander either. She cut back a lot of the scar tissue on the radiated side as well. (sorry for the detail, maybe I should put a warning?) I'm in more pain than expected, recovery room stuff was tough and I am now on double antibiotics (low grade fever, skin is red and irritated, and I have a history of MRSA and cellulitis.) My MD changed the script after I went to see her yesterday because I was concerned. So I am hanging in there, Thank God for Zofran. My kiddo just went out with a wonderful dog walker who will come again this afternoon, then another friend to take her out tonight.
Which makes me just shake my head thinking what do our single mom's do, or women who have to do it all b/c husbands are hard at work etc....All I can pray is that God will give us all the help and resources we need (Tori, I am thinking of you with your rad and shingles too....do you have anyone coming in to help you?)
So lovely prayers, and sad passing of the young man. Sheila, what a beautiful prayer, so well said on both sides of this accident. Theresa, excellent reminder that NOTHING is more important than watching out for others as we go on with our days. Our actions have consequences for others.
and Michelle, let me scoop my jaw back up after hearing you were being (what did you say, turned in?) for prayers extending to our homosexual friends? I know this is a hot topic, and I am fully supportive of people's rights to love one another, and be who they are. I have seen the repercussions of people trying to hide, or their shame for their feelings, and I know they are loved by God. It's not for me to regulate or police. I could not fathom Jesus turning his back on anyone who identifies as being homosexual. That ladies reaction was so over the top. I wonder what she fears?
so Thanks for listening to my ramblings, and Theresa thank you for your daily postings for the group. I am glad your interview went well in terms of being relaxed and present. oh, and guess what!
The anesthesia set my chemo brain recovery back a bit. Had the old word finding difficulty the las few days...
Good Grief.
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Traci!! So glad to hear from you. Glad surgery is behind you -- lot of healing to do so rest as much as you can. 'Mamma said you can't hurry love' - and I'm finding it's the same thing with healing! I'm happy you've got people coming over to help too. Praying pain goes away soon!
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It makes me very angry when I think about the church's position on homosexuality. I will not stand for discrimination of any form. It is about love. To be "turned in" for praying for our brothers and sisters? A topic close to my heart. It is about love. I can't believe our precious Lord does not know that. Amen
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Traci, great to hear from you! Praying for your recovery.
Sorry I missed prayers last night. I am just worn out by Friday. I think I may have to quit working while I'm getting the chemo. I hope it qualifies for disability. I'm worried I'm hurting myself I'm so tired. Although only Friday. It just seems to catch up to me at that point. The rest of the week is not so bad, nor is the second week that I don't have the treatment.
Praying for everyone today. Have a blessed weekend all.
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Traci wonderful to hear from you. Soryy that you are in pain and will pray that your recovery is quick and you heal well.... take care of yourself as much as you can and then let God do the rest!!! hugs
Bless all my sisters!
Maria
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Hey Squid Babe sounds like you went through the mill. glad you have help for you and your baby. Here's to great, health, wealth ,and happiness. (Thats somebodies toast-awh sounds Irish).Tis an Irish toast. Blessings to all body parts and may they be happy working together. May sound jestful, but we have all gotten off the bed or couch after one of these attacks. AND none of the body parts want to cooperate and they make it known by pain. Thanks for your kind words re Michaels prayers.
Tink was uptil 7-8 this am, won't do that everynite, but wanted to get it up and running. !4 pages last nite. tough to keep up.
Michelle I feel the same asSquid and LMFSM. The womans a bigot. Maybe we should do a novena for bigots, Think about the havoc they wrought in the whole world. No bigots, --how many killing and wars would there be.
L&H&P Namaste Sheila
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Dear Kay--take care of yourself, honey! Chemo is no picnic!! xo
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awww....so warming to my heart to "see you all" and receive your blessings. Thank you so very much.
and dear Kay, I did not work while I went through treatment. Do you have short term and long term disability with your employer? This is about taking care of yourself, and unfortunately so many of us have job concerns/money worries while trying to get through treatment. My Long term disability provider required that I apply for social security disability, and this was denied. It seemed clear that at stage 2, without mets, that this would not be approved. I also did a part time return to work along with my disability, so they paid the difference in hours that I didn't work. For example I work 37.5 hours a week, so if I worked for my employer for 20 hours, then they would pay for the 17.5.) I would contact HR...or check your benefits and start there. Take good care of yourself!
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Traci--how is the pain? Praying for you sister. xo
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Traci -- so happy to see you back! Take care!
Kay -- Even though I worked through chemo treatments, I had a LOT of help --- my daughter and husband made dinners and cleaned house, etc. I don't think I could have kept it up if I was the chief cook and bottle washer. Check with your HR department and find out what you can do.
We had out SFO meeting today and it was great. We started formation classes again and I am the only one in the candidate class, but I have 3 teachers. :-) They seem just as excited as I am to start. We have a BIG class of Inquirers... about 12-15. I wish we met more than once a month.
Just so everyone knows the position of the Catholic Church on homosexuality... and I truly don't mean to drag out the conversation... but if anyone should ask:
Chastity and homosexuality
2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity, tradition has always declared that "homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered." They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.
2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God's will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord's Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.
2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.
And Hatred
2303 Deliberate hatred is contrary to charity. Hatred of the neighbor is a sin when one deliberately wishes him evil. Hatred of the neighbor is a grave sin when one deliberately desires him grave harm. "But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven."2304 Respect for and development of human life require peace. Peace is not merely the absence of war, and it is not limited to maintaining a balance of powers between adversaries. Peace cannot be attained on earth without safeguarding the goods of persons, free communication among men, respect for the dignity of persons and peoples, and the assiduous practice of fraternity. Peace is "the tranquillity of order." Peace is the work of justice and the effect of charity.
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Here are some thoughtful old and new quotes:
Last paragraph from Can Virtue be Taught - by Robert J. Spitzer, S.J.
http://www.catholicbusinessjournal.biz/Blogs/?p=1424However, it's also possible - common, in fact - to pursue God without pursuing virtue. And here is the crucial fact: When you get religion, you will need virtue to go along with your faith, because virtue helps you to find your authentic self and live your faith fully. It can take some people an awful long time to realize they need both, and without both, extreme problems can arise. You can get very religious people who will do anything under the sun - very unethical things - and do them for the sake of their religion.
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"We know we have souls. But we seldom consider the precious things that can be found
in this soul, or who dwells within it, or its high values. Consequently, little
effort is made to preserve its beauty. All our attention is taken up with the plainness
of the diamond's setting, that is, with these bodies of ours."-St. Teresa of Avila
"Hope has two beautiful daughters: their names are anger and courage.
Anger that things are the way they are.
Courage to make them the way they ought to be."-- St. Augustine
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Theresa
I just love you, thanks so much! I just feel it is not my place to judge anyone and have several gay friends. I feel we should only love and its Gods job to determine the rest.
Thanks for posting the biz on the topic it is so helpful.
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Theresa thank you for posting all the info !
Ladies I dont know if any of you have facebook... but they have created a page dedicated to Michael and it is so incredible how many people have left messages for him. People who didnt even really know him... I love what his Religion teacher wrote...
"Michael, isn't heaven awesome? We will miss you and your chemistry jokes in Apologetics class. I hope that you can look down from heaven and see how much you are missed and love. I told my students to mourn, but not for too long because I know if you had the opportunity that you would walk into the classroom and try to cheer them up... with a joke or some crazy song lyrics. Thank you for the joy you brought to us. Thank you bringing the students together. You have taught them so much about life, death, and the hope for the rewards of heaven. This is more than I have been able to accomplish in my 11 years as a religion teacher. I guess I should change your grade to an A++. Tell Jesus I said, "hi' and give my Mother Mary a big hug for me"
He obviously touched soo many in his young life... If you do have a facebook and would like to see some of the wonderful things people have written..it is a public page so anyone can look.. its under..
R.I.P.Michael Santiago
It breaks my heart but also warms it at the same time...
2 hours ago ·UnlikeLike ·
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Girls... I have been so busy with RCIA.... and the time is drawing near....... I feel Ive not been here enough.... We are sponsors to three this year.... BUSY! Praise GOD!
I am very glad Theresa posted on the teaching , of the Church, on Homosexuality.
This is brought to our teaching ( RCIA) group every year.....
Bottom line..... is it right... to act upon sexuality outside marriage... NO. Gay or straight.
Does the bible bring up homosexuality... YES..... does it teach this is wrong... and against God.... YES..... does it tell us to HATE these people............ NO.
Actually... it tells us that it is wrong, and against God...BUT... if we HATE these people ( gays)... if show acts of hate to them...... then we are to be JUDGED just like they will be judged.
I have many gay family member's ... and co workers. I LOVE them. I will pray for them until the day I die................. but I will NEVER....... EVER........ HATE them...... only LOVE AND PRAYER....... God is the Final Judge.,..
This is the way of the bible.... the way of our Fathers rule.
As Easter season is coming to the end....... I offer the Mass tomorrow for my BC sisters !!!!!!
Ladies........ Lets pray for the new Catholics entering the Holy Church in a few weeks... such a blessing .....
This is the most blessed time of year.......... HE IS RISEN! AMEN!
As I love you all.... and only want to see you grow in love with Christ and eachother on this thread..... I also want to see it continue to stay true to the Church's teaching.... as Theresa posted..... the Catechism....... AWESOME!...Thank you!
I will light a candle for Michael... and his dear family..... God bless and take his soul......
Paula..... my heart really aches for you. My heart is with you as you go through this passage in your life. I have not been through it.... so I do not know how you feel now..... but I promise to offer your family to God...... for peace.... somehow.....
(((((((((((((SQUIDWARD)))))))))))))))
Laura
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Ladies, I have a huge dilemma. I'm Catholic, of course, and I found that during my chemo I remained in prayer most of the time, I truly trusted in God and was able to turn most of my worry over to him, as well as pain, sickness, etc. After cancer, I had about six months where I was getting back to a somewhat normal life and was so thankful that He had allowed me more time with my family. Then my husband had a massive heart attack, and we were right back to incredible stress. He almost died several times in six months, and ended up not being able to work at all anymore, his heart works at about 19% of normal. So we've had that to deal with now. I'm four years out of cancer, he's three years out of his heart attack. My daughter's kids were denied entrance into our local parish school because my daughter doesn't go to Mass regularly. Since when do they deny entrance for children? There are kids there who's parents aren't even Catholic, let alone don't go to Mass. But my grandchildren were denied. Twice this happened. What's up with that? And then my Mom got ovarian cancer. She's through her chemo and is getting ready for debulking surgery at the end of this month. It doesn't look good.
Ok, I've told you all that so you can help make a judgment call, because I'm falling further and fruther away from my faith. I rarely go to Mass anymore, I just do not want to go. And I hardly ever pray, I just cannot bring myself to it. I don't know if it's just stress, or everything that's gone on, or what it is, but truly I just want to forget about being Catholic at this point. I guess I really need prayer. And I have no idea what to do about this. I don't want to talk to the priest, because he's just going to tell me to go to Mass, and that's not something I really want to do right now.
Has anyone else gone through this after the trauma of breast cancer and mastectomy and chemo and all of it? Do you think it would have anything to do with post traumatic stress?
I hope there's somebody out there who can help me out.
Gracie
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Gracie I can't answer your questions because I can't think straight right now because of insomnia it's 540 am and been up several hours. There are people that will give you support here. There are many that have been through trials as serious as you. They will bring some solace I'm sure, and it is grounded in experiences much the same as you, so they GET IT. One thing I would suggest, is stay with us for awhile. You may want to start reading from the beginning and pick and choose what touches you as relevant, to your need. You are in a crisis of faith right now and you realize it. My feeling is that you don't see this as the church that you grew up with. That it is showing unkindness instead of benevolence. That in a time of life when you need them to wrap their arms around you and do whatever it takes to help, all that has happened is the opposite. Don't despair. If you can't after sometime of seeking to resolve what about the Catholic church is causing you such great pain, once you have made the effort.---" Then you do have other choices." But give it some time first.
PTSD certainly, could be a part of all that is going on with you. You have experienced multiple traumatic events, without time for you heart, mind, and soul to heal. Then something happens to increase your pain again. At this point it may feel as if it's neverending. And often I believe, you are asking GOD with a myriad of feelings of fear, hopelessness, anger WHY? It will take time to sort out.
Talking with the wonderful women here will help. It will also give you a place to continue expressing all these thoughts that are pressing upon you, by writing about them. Writing about all that you are thinking about will help ease your mind from it's burden. It would be nice to have a couselor to talk face to face with. Each diocese does employee such people. So, one suggestion is call the diocan office, and see what they can offer you. Even if going to church is causing you pain right now. Try prayer. There is a companion site that has prayers on it. If you have trouble finding it. Ask one of the gals today later. Consider saying the rosary and dedicating it to the Immaculate Heart of Mary.
There are 200 plus pages here, it may seem daunting to read them all , but take your time and as I said before pickand choose what is relevant to you. I pray that all you seek comes to you, and heals you in mind, body, and soul and that of your family.
Namaste - I SALUTE THE GOD WITHIN YOU sheila
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Gracie I can't answer your questions because I can't think straight right now because of insomnia it's 540 am and been up several hours. There are people that will give you support here. There are many that have been through trials as serious as you. They will bring some solace I'm sure, and it is grounded in experiences much the same as you, so they GET IT. One thing I would suggest, is stay with us for awhile. You may want to start reading from the beginning and pick and choose what touches you as relevant, to your need. You are in a crisis of faith right now and you realize it. My feeling is that you don't see this as the church that you grew up with. That it is showing unkindness instead of benevolence. That in a time of life when you need them to wrap their arms around you and do whatever it takes to help, all that has happened is the opposite. Don't despair. If you can't after sometime of seeking to resolve what about the Catholic church is causing you such great pain, once you have made the effort.---" Then you do have other choices." But give it some time first.
PTSD certainly, could be a part of all that is going on with you. You have experienced multiple traumatic events, without time for you heart, mind, and soul to heal. Then something happens to increase your pain again. At this point it may feel as if it's neverending. And often I believe, you are asking GOD with a myriad of feelings of fear, hopelessness, anger WHY? It will take time to sort out.
Talking with the wonderful women here will help. It will also give you a place to continue expressing all these thoughts that are pressing upon you, by writing about them. Writing about all that you are thinking about will help ease your mind from it's burden. It would be nice to have a couselor to talk face to face with. Each diocese does employee such people. So, one suggestion is call the diocan office, and see what they can offer you. Even if going to church is causing you pain right now. Try prayer. There is a companion site that has prayers on it. If you have trouble finding it. Ask one of the gals today later. Consider saying the rosary and dedicating it to the Immaculate Heart of Mary.
There are 200 plus pages here, it may seem daunting to read them all , but take your time and as I said before pickand choose what is relevant to you. I pray that all you seek come to you and heal you in mind, body, and soul and that of you family.
Namaste - I SALUTE THE GOD WITHIN YOU sheila
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Gracie I can't answer your questions because I can't think straight right now because of insomnia it's 540 am and been up several hours. There are people that will give you support here. There are many that have been through trials as serious as you. They will bring some solace I'm sure, and it is grounded in experiences much the same as you, so they GET IT. One thing I would suggest, is stay with us for awhile. You may want to start reading from the beginning and pick and choose what touches you as relevant, to your need. You are in a crisis of faith right now and you realize it. My feeling is that you don't see this as the church that you grew up with. That it is showing unkindness instead of benevolence. That in a time of life when you need them to wrap their arms around you and do whatever it takes to help, all that has happened is the opposite. Don't despair. If you can't after sometime of seeking to resolve what about the Catholic church is causing you such great pain, once you have made the effort.---" Then you do have other choices." But give it some time first.
PTSD certainly, could be a part of all that is going on with you. You have experienced multiple traumatic events, without time for you heart, mind, and soul to heal. Then something happens to increase your pain again. At this point it may feel as if it's neverending. And often I believe, you are asking GOD with a myriad of feelings of fear, hopelessness, anger WHY? It will take time to sort out.
Talking with the wonderful women here will help. It will also give you a place to continue expressing all these thoughts that are pressing upon you, by writing about them. Writing about all that you are thinking about will help ease your mind from it's burden. It would be nice to have a couselor to talk face to face with. Each diocese does employee such people. So, one suggestion is call the diocan office, and see what they can offer you. Even if going to church is causing you pain right now. Try prayer. There is a companion site that has prayers on it. If you have trouble finding it. Ask one of the gals today later. Consider saying the rosary and dedicating it to the Immaculate Heart of Mary.
There are 200 plus pages here, it may seem daunting to read them all , but take your time and as I said before pickand choose what is relevant to you. I pray that all you seek come to you and heal you in mind, body, and soul and that of you family.
Namaste - I SALUTE THE GOD WITHIN YOU sheila
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Have your husband checked for sleep apnea by a sleep study, ask about Coreg, check what kinfd of statin he's on, smoking has to stop.. Check drug interactions on Epocrates. MY husband's went from 20% to 50% by doing the above. Then as things started to improve he started water aerobics thre 3x's a week>>>then5-6. It gave him5 years more before somthing else got him got the last 2 years, but even then his heart did not get below 46%
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My mom was again very agitated yesterday, the RN called the "on-call" doctor but he never called back and the RN also called my mom's own doctor. With the grace of the Lord, my mom's own physician rushed back to check on her. She's now being given morphine every 2 hrs or as needed. My sisters and I have experienced her struggling and gasping for air (she's on 4 units of oxygen) and it is very very difficult. I have not been able to sleep even with my 0.5mg Ativan. I think I will need to double up and knock myself out. I am extremely exhausted and somewhat dizzy.
The priest came again yesterday and anointed her with oil and gave her and all of us Holy Communion. My mom is still quite alert but the fluid in her lungs is building up. I've cancelled my flight back (supposed to be April 11th) but now staying indefinitely.
Thank you all for your continued prayers for her smooth passage. I am very very close to my mom and I cry frequently. I have so much more respect for the RNs and Doctors who deal with this as their profession, it is very difficult to watch someone suffer.
Namaste!
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Diamond girl--praying for you and your family--sounds so very hard--blessings to you sweet sister
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Prayers for your mother Paula.
I have no words of wisdom Grace, but prayers for you.
Theresa, you are such a wealth of information. Could you answer a question for me? I was told I have to use birth control by the onc. I guess everyone on chemo is told that. I know they are going to put me into chemopause once I get through these other chemo treatments first, and I assume that is allowed. I haven't used birth control because of the rules of the church, and certainly at this point, don't want to do something that is a mortal sin. Is this allowed in circumstances where you've medically been told to use birth control? I appreciate your help.
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Paula,
I really feel for you. I know your pain must be very deep. Love her just as you are doing, talk to her, and when you are ready, you can let her know you are willing to let her go. I have tears on my face, and memories of being in a similar place. I'm glad that your mom's Physician demonstrated her respect and oath to her mission here on earth. I will say Rosary for you, even if I am not doing it quite right. I think you know the meaning.
Bless you, your mother and your family.
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Theresa,
Really appreciate your willingness to share and teach. The teachings are not different from what I thought it would be at the heart of the matter. I was most heartened by the sentence in bold (and I would lose this post if I flipped back,) so what I "heard" was the recognition of the inner turmoil and suffering that many experience when having same sex attraction, as well as the numbers perhaps not being just a few. That we all have our individual trials and we are not to discriminate. I do appreciate being able to have this discussion here.
So, I did my wound check this morning, and felt happier with the color of my skin...much less redness. I always heal better on the non cancer side regarding my incisions. I am keeping a close eye, and can say I am soooooooooooooooo glad I went to see my PS on Friday. When I first saw the redness on both breasts and on my sternum, I grabbed the phone and started calling people to take care of my kiddo should I be hospitalized. I was worried worried. I have not felt that low grade fever since Saturday, and my pain is much better too. (Thank you God) Just the usual hot flashes after drinking coffee (LOL.)
and, I had written in another thread about my nicorette shame. I really almost had my surgery cancelled by my PS...I was so embarrassed, upset at myself, I could go on and on. But I am now 4 1/2 days without nicotine, so I am going to pop over to the quit smoking thread.
Love you all, and thanks again for all of your wonderful prayers.
and how are my Sisters healing from their surgeries? Janet? Sandy?
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Maria,
Love the tribute written by his religion teacher. Beautiful testimony to a life well lived.
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Dear Kay - that is a topic near and dear to many of us. It is near and dear to many who have fallen away from the church and this point of contraception is a sticky one. We, as women of the 60s, 70s and beyond, were taught that our body is our body and no one, including the Church, can tell us what to do with them. But there lies the fallacy if you are a follower of Christ and seek Christ's perfection... and truly give your all and everything to Christ. Ergo, your body is not your body, but belongs to Christ! :-) The Church, with its 2000 years of teaching (mothers and fathers of the church), its sacraments institued by Christ himself, is our tool, given by Christ to St. Peter and all who followed, to bring us closer to Him.
That being said, Christ said, "My yoke is easy, my burden is light." The "rules and regulations" are there to help us, if we dive into them and really absorb the meanings behind the rules.
So... a long time ago I had to go on birth control b/c of endometriosis. I asked a couple of priests if it was a sin for me to be on that due to doctor's orders. I was told, it was not if that was the only recourse to that problem. There is no Catechism teaching on those particular types of impediment to life. If I were you, I would talk to a priest. Personally, I did not stay on the pill for more than a few months because I did not tolerate it well and I did not like the idea of putting extra chemicals in my body that really didn't need to be there. I learned of other ways of dealing with my endometriosis. There may be alternatives for you too... I don't know. So that's another thing you can do, research and ask if there are alternatives for you to being on the pill.
Now, we look at chastity and our sexuality as God had intended. There are times in life when the mastery of self discipline in the form of chastity can produce profound graces and in the case of marriage, actually cause that relationship to enter levels of love and respect that it had not been able to attain before. Provided both spouses are open to that grace from God. You and your husband can discern whether that's something you would like to approach also, for the time that you must be on the pill.
It's sad, but it's very difficult to find a GYN who will help you look for alternatives. My daughter is 26 years old and finally found a doctor who is willing to respect her convictions to not be on the pill. I remember having the same problems with GYNs... they want to give you the pill, period. (No pun intended)
Marriage is a sacrament and a vocation and its purpose is to be open to the procreation of life. God created us to be in relationships... whether married or not married. We need each other. And I don't exclusively mean sexual relationships. I'm talking about brotherly and sisterly love and respect.
I remember learning about horses when I was younger and how horses are naturally (intrinsically) gregarious beasts and do not like being alone. They don't care if it's another horse with them, a mule, a cow, a goat, they just need to be with another creature... the more the merrier. Whenever I drive past farms with horses, I think of that and how we too do not like being alone for very long. We need each other. Some of us live with cows or goats or mules... and we know who we're thinking about!! :-) But we love them and enjoy their company anyway!
Ok... here's the Cathecism on chastity and fecundity [productive or creative power] of marriage. I hope it helps you, Kay... it's a difficult decision. God bless you in your and your husband's discernment.
2348 All the baptized are called to chastity. The Christian has "put on Christ," the model for all chastity. All Christ's faithful are called to lead a chaste life in keeping with their particular states of life. At the moment of his Baptism, the Christian is pledged to lead his affective life in chastity.
2349 "People should cultivate [chastity] in the way that is suited to their state of life. Some profess virginity or consecrated celibacy which enables them to give themselves to God alone with an undivided heart in a remarkable manner. Others live in the way prescribed for all by the moral law, whether they are married or single." Married people are called to live conjugal chastity; others practice chastity in continence:
There are three forms of the virtue of chastity: the first is that of spouses, the second that of widows, and the third that of virgins. We do not praise any one of them to the exclusion of the others. . . . This is what makes for the richness of the discipline of the Church.
2350 Those who are engaged to marry are called to live chastity in continence. They should see in this time of testing a discovery of mutual respect, an apprenticeship in fidelity, and the hope of receiving one another from God. They should reserve for marriage the expressions of affection that belong to married love. They will help each other grow in chastity.The fecundity [productive/creative power] of marriage
2366 Fecundity is a gift, an end of marriage, for conjugal love naturally tends to be fruitful. A child does not come from outside as something added on to the mutual love of the spouses, but springs from the very heart of that mutual giving, as its fruit and fulfillment. So the Church, which is "on the side of life," teaches that "it is necessary that each and every marriage act remain ordered per se to the procreation of human life." "This particular doctrine, expounded on numerous occasions by the Magisterium, is based on the inseparable connection, established by God, which man on his own initiative may not break, between the unitive significance and the procreative significance which are both inherent to the marriage act."
2368 A particular aspect of this responsibility concerns the regulation of procreation. For just reasons, spouses may wish to space the births of their children. It is their duty to make certain that their desire is not motivated by selfishness but is in conformity with the generosity appropriate to responsible parenthood. Moreover, they should conform their behavior to the objective criteria of morality:
When it is a question of harmonizing married love with the responsible transmission of life, the morality of the behavior does not depend on sincere intention and evaluation of motives alone; but it must be determined by objective criteria, criteria drawn from the nature of the person and his acts criteria that respect the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love; this is possible only if the virtue of married chastity is practiced with sincerity of heart.
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Grace - welcome, welcome and I agree with Sheila, please stay and read and pray with us. You are going through the dark night of the soul but I hear in your heart by your words that you are not willing to give up on God just yet.
Before I had cancer, I went through a dark period where I got so angry with God!!! Just totally didn't understand, as hard as I tried, why life had to be so blasted difficult. Nothing but trouble and worry, sickness and death, worry and anxiety. I packed up all my rosaries, prayer cards, prayer books and with great ceremony put them in the garage. I told my husband that I had had it!!! Out of respect for him, I continued to go to church every Sunday. Just the ACT of going to Mass, even if you don't receive communion (which I did not, since I was angry at Him), was grace. Eventually, I went to confession with a priest that I could trust with my heart, was absolved and came out with a renewed purpose to try again. Thanks to be God that I did. Thanks be to God that I did not allow the darkness win.
I've been to many, many parishes because I've moved so many times. Sometimes, you just have to keep searching for a parish that fits. I know it shouldn't be that way and you're supposed to support your local parish, but good grief, it's better to find a parish that makes your heart sing than sit in one that doesn't or not go at all. Sometimes, a diocesian priest isn't necessarily the best one to talk to for every situation in life. However, some of the best priests are... ones who brought me from an immature outlook as a Catholic to a more mature Christian were diocesian priests. Sometimes you need to sit through several of their homilies to get a warm and fuzzy if you want to have a soul-bearing confession. A good confessor will not only absolve you from your sins in the name of Christ, but teach as well. Also, sometimes non-diocesian priests, like Franciscans or Trappists, etc tend to be more grounded in the life that matters. I tend to favor the Franciscans since I am in formation to be a Secular Franciscan, but so many of their orders work day to day with real life -- the poor, the sick, the abused. Sometimes, I don't feel like sitting at Mass in our parish, but will go to Mass at the Monastery.
EVERYONE is welcome to come to Mass!!!! EVERYONE. You go to communion (receive the body and blood of Christ) if you are a Catholic who has received First Communion and does not have mortal sin on their soul, but everyone else is welcome to observe and celebrate the Mass. Non-Catholics can even get in line for communion, but have their arms crossed against their chest to receive a blessing. My MIL did that when she came to visit us. So I don't know where your priests are coming from.
Oops, I just re-read your note... they weren't denied going to Mass, but being admitted to Catholic school b/c they were not regular church goers. That's odd too. But please, don't be angry at the Church and God b/c of one parish's nonsense. I know our parish school requires parents to participate and donate their time and talents to the school. But yes, non-Catholics send their kids to Catholic schools and are not required to attend our Mass -- except the kids have to go to daily Mass if all the other kids go.
Faith and love of God is deeper than any parish's superficial (non-Magisterium) rules.
God bless you and may He whisper sweet blessings in your ears.
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Gracie,
I am extending my hand to you. I have had many periods of "spiritual numbness." During chemo I was more stripped of my defenses, and this rawness helped me to reach out to God more. You have had many health crisis with your loved one's and your own diagnosis with cancer. It confuses me when there seems to be no reprieve, no rest period, and it can put me at odds with God. So I speak of myself only, but I would say you have a light shining within you, and you are reaching out in a storm and asking for help.
I am not the most learned here in regards to Religion and Catholicism, but I can tell you that you are not alone, and it helps to "keep coming back."
Many Blessings,
traci
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