Pinktober Revolution
Comments
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Annabelle, I'd love to read your response! I don't like that they agreed to post the missed work days. I had LX and true only missed 3 days, but during radiation I missed a bunch of time. In my work place I'm not comfortable sharing "everything" just what I need to. That is what this looks like too. We know there's more to it, "the journey" is more difficult for many. While I do applaud the women who have been successful in moving on in pink fashion, I'm not there yet. The constant reminder is every day from our new physical appearance, aches and pains, the anxiety of being under care for years, and the fear of it coming back. Yeah, they have meds to keep us going but what they really need is to "Just Cure It" Thus, my statement for this month.
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Annabelle, this made me so mad I couldn't even finish it. I don't blame you one bit for being angry. What's so bad is that people who don't know better will believe it. That said, I'm not sure what you should do. I would wait until I could see straight, then consider what harms are the worst issue here. To me, it's the inaccuracies. People telling their own stories about their personal experiences is fine, I guess. ( but “Pleasantville," really?). Spouting out “facts" that are anything but, could do more harm than good. I wonder if there would be a way to address the inaccurate information in a way that doesn't put anyone on the defensive (you do work there), like an addendum to the story or a followup that doesn't say, “we published a load of crap because we were too lazy to verify it", but attacks it in a different way. For example, an “interview" with a local surgeon or oncologist that allows him/her to address the worst of the inaccuracies. Is there a way you could make contact with the people who do the newsletter in a somewhat anonymous way and suggest something like that?
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Annabelle,
I just counted... 30 appointments at Hopkins which is 1 1/2 hours away. 4 surgeries, two of them inpatient. Two ultrasounds, two biopsies, one MRI and one Dexa scan in addition. In 1 1/2 years. Would be missing a bit more than 2 days, or even 1 month!!! 3D mammogram at Johns Hopkins the day of diagnosing Biopsy was completely normal. I had 3D mammograms since they were offered. AI is not chemotherapy, but still sucks for many. I know several dead people who had really positive attitudes before and during cancer.
While well intentioned, in addition to being obviously factually incorrect, it would piss me off as well! Do you know any of the authors? Could you reach out to any of them with your comments and see if an addendum to the original could be distributed?
Back in the day, we were “asked" to give to Komen. An individual would come to each office, and admin staff as well, and say 100% participation was expected. In exchange, we could wear denim to the office one assigned day. Only the givers, btw! Grrrrr..... The road to hell....
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Whoever wrote that trite load of bull is asking for a big dose of karma! Who cares how many days “Employees X, Y and Z” missed! If it were me I’d be firing off a carefully worded letter to HR about that letter and point out each of the inaccuracies!
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I'd be pissed too. I would reply all the link to this site to get educated!
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I think I've found the perfect place for that letter. This was my "Seriously, WTF?" find of the day in a suburb of Rochester, New York. Just what the frickety-frack hell kind of support? education? research? message does an effing PINK DUMPSTER convey?
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Annabelle, reading the responses here, I had a thought. Other than the pleasantries ("I appreciate the sentiment and the intent" etc.), maybe you can take the response off yourself and put it on us.
What I mean by that is perhaps you can send an email to HR and say that while you had a less than positive reaction to the letter because of what you see to be some major inaccuracies, you weren't sure if you were alone in how you felt, so you asked the opinion of other patients on a breast cancer discussion board. And here are some of the responses:
- "that is just the most awful trite crap I've read in a long time."
- "The thing that really sets me off, even more than all of the bad info, is the "I had breast cancer and only missed two days of work" thing, and mentioning that some scheduled rads for the end of the day so it didn't interfere with their work schedule.... You are right that their letter could set unrealistic expectations on several levels."
- "Seriously, "Missed Work 2 days"? That sets a realistic expectation, doesn't it? "Your chances of survival are 3 times better if you have a strong emotional path". What? Where did they get that? I've been reading here and reading breast cancer research for 14 years and have never run across anything that suggests that this is even remotely true. "Post treatment, more than 2 drinks per week increases your chances of return by 30?" Not true. All the studies say something different but the overall consensus is that 2 drinks a week is harmless. 2 drinks a day, more of a problem."
- "this made me so mad I couldn't even finish it....To me, it's the inaccuracies. People telling their own stories about their personal experiences is fine, I guess. ( but "Pleasantville," really?). Spouting out "facts" that are anything but, could do more harm than good."
- "I just counted... 30 appointments at Hopkins which is 1 1/2 hours away. 4 surgeries, two of them inpatient. Two ultrasounds, two biopsies, one MRI and one Dexa scan in addition. In 1 1/2 years. Would be missing a bit more than 2 days, or even 1 month!!!...."
- "that trite load of bull"
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And then, if you choose, you could provide some more factual information, or suggest websites that provide more factual information.
I don't know if this approach would work for you, but it is one way that you can make some pretty pointed statements, without actually saying these things yourself. You are just sharing the reactions of a group of breast cancer patients.
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Just thinking out loud. My sister was diagnosed with brain cancer 14 years ago (way before I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2017). She was 34 and had two year old triplets at the time. I joined brain cancer forums for family members and I found the tag lines on many brain cancer forums were 'cancer isn't always pink' and 'grey matters.' I found a lot of resentment (before my dx) that breast cancer got all of the attention and other cancers really did not and still don't get any. Even on the GMA Instagram posts from Oct 1, there are quite a few comments saying and wishing other cancers got more attention. And they weren't comments taking away from our fight, just wishing other cancers could be recognized in such a way that people would become aware. All cancers are brutal and I don't think anyone can know or understand the realities of it unless you live it or see loved ones go through it. I am never going to be able to explain my reality to others nor will I be able to explain my sisters reality. Is one cancer more deserving of the attention? Absolutely not but breast cancer does seem to be the one that gets a lot. I guess the saying any publicity is good publicity sort of rings true. Breast cancer is not pink and cheery and happy at all as I know all too well. People recognizing our fight on a grand scale every year is something other cancers don't get though. I would like to think that all the corporations that promote this month have good intentions but I know they all don't. I do hope that it might remind people to get mammograms and sonograms. I was one of the BCO participants at GMA and it was discussed how so many people have Oct. diagnosis anniversaries because they were reminded or thought to be checked in October. That's something. Maybe if we didn't have Pinktober we'd be fighting for the attention as other cancers do? I don't know. Everyone's experience with how they deal with October is unique and to each his own.
Further, I had a wonderful morning at GMA meeting some other AMAZING BCO members at all different stages of their fight. I got to meet the woman who created this Community and got to thank her personally for these forums which have helped countless women get accurate and real information and support. It was a really good day! We had fun and it was exciting to be on the show. Robin Roberts and Amy Robach both have lived what we've been through and it was nice to see how well they are both doing. The BCO members were taken out for breakfast after and shared our different stories and I'm so glad I went. It's the first time I've ever participated in anything breast cancer awareness related and I'm really glad I did!!
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LeesaD, I really understand. Anytime I'm confronted with Pinktober awareness fluff, I want to answer "Quick, when is kidney cancer month? Endometrial? Skin?" I feel like I have split medical personalities, resenting that I had breast cancer on behalf of the other cancers.
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I have friends who are dealing with other forms of cancer. I have also lost family members to cancer. My friends who are dealing with this, supported me through my battle with BC, and I supported them with their battle. I hate it that equal attention isn’t really given to their cancers, especially since I am losing a friend to end stage lung and brain cancer.
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Alice, the pink garbage cart and your post are pink-tacular ! If they don’t use these all year, who paid the extra money for the pink carts? And who makes them? Think of how much money they could have donated to research instead.
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My mother in law died of lung cancer this past May. I had an uncle who died of stomach cancer and a coworker who died of esophageal cancer. All of these (plus so many more diseases/conditions) deserve attention. I'm so tired of the gimmicks when we need research and facts
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You know why breast cancer gets all the rah-rah? And other cancers are barely mentioned? It's because you can sexualize and advertise breast cancer. Frilly pink, lacy bras, gorgeous models with lovely breasts and scanty clothing...all these things are delicious to the media. And they make money. Buy a pretty pink ____ (fill in the blank) and save those gorgeous boobs? Sure!
Let's see an ad campaign for anal cancer, esophageal cancer, prostate cancer.
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Indeed SB!
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In response to the pink garbage can, the community we just moved from had a trash pick up company called Garbage Guys Who Care. All the trash bins were pink and a portion of each payment went to the local mammogram program for low income patients. If there are green, grey, and black garbage bins, why not pink if it serves the community?
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But why spend the money to paint the cans pink in the first place? They want to help, they can just donate the damn money. It's another way to make it about the company doing it and not whoever they're supposedly trying to help.
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But why bother paying/painting for pink bins. Use that money for a bigger donation. Their name and mission statement says it all more respectfully. I take offense that everyday items have to turn pink in October. And don’t get me started about the “a portion of this sale will be donated ...” Try to get an answer from some of them as to what percentage, is their a cap on the amount from sales, ... Wouldn’t it be nice if all the different cancers got the same amount of research money. I know, that’s a dream.
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I’m in a bit of a unique situation moving between two cancer worlds, breast and prostate cancer. The world’s two most common cancers. While there’s hardly any men posting on BCO, they are on other sites and Facebook pages. Every Pinktober I’m surprised at the audacity of the ways companies find to add pink dollar margins to products, I’m also amazed at how public events often have plenty of people turn up with a fetishised spin on breasts and their allusion to their obvious sexual nature. I always think that women at these events, who’ve lost one or both breasts, must feel deflated at this behaviour. I’ve even had to call out a male MC at our small town Pinktober event who made various boob jokes when introducing serious topics. Does the fact that funds are being raised overrule all other ethical considerations?
In the world of prostate cancer blogs, men worry about two things, incontinence and erectile dysfunction. Don’t assume that men hold back talking to each other. They are as frank, worried, upset, and humorous as women when it comes to discussing the intimate nature of post-prostatectomy issues.
So, as we all know, the bucket loads of money that BC charities make compared to other cancer charities (in the case of prostate cancer, ten times as much) is made on the back of evocative imagery, frivolity, and sexualisation, plus the obvious distress of metastatic patients, particularly younger patients. Ironically, neither cancer is close to being cured.
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Well said Traveltext. I have been posting BC facts on my FB since October 1. Many did not realize the number of men that also get BC. Or that some are stage IV from initial diagnosis. I'll probably have some unfollow/unfriend because it's not cute fluffy stuff about boobies or tatas or even cute pictures of children and dogs wearing pink
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kathindc:
The cans aren’t painted. They’re just pink industrial molded plastic. No different than the green, grey or black ones other communities use. I doubt there was a price difference in getting the bins as it is a small local company doing this. In fact they saved us 10% when we switched from a big national chain and would go out of their way to help if you had household goods to trash.
I agree that all this pink promotion in October is an attempt for corporations to make a buck out of this insidious disease. But sometimes, just sometimes, small efforts that are kept local, really do make a difference in our individual communities.
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GoldensRBest, while I commend their name and goal, I find using the pink cans insensitive. I know I would be if I had to look at that year round or even for the month of October. Some of us don’t buy into the pinking of breast cancer, particularly in October.I am one of them.
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TravelText, as always, well said
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I hate that the trash companies are forcing a connection between breast cancer and GARBAGE. We do not need that in anyone's mind.
And here's my disgusting find today, wrong on so many levels. Why are they using different color ribbons associated with other cancers and causes? Who came up with the over-the-top offensive name? I really want to slap the crap out of anyone associated with this.
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I've never heard of the cancer "Cheese Auction" that's on the teal ribbon.
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Yeah, what's with the cheese? Dairy products from our broken udders?
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LOL. The poster when viewed closer actually reads Chinese Auction, not cheese auction. If you Google Sully & the Ladies in Pink they raise funds for Breast Cancer in their community. Noble effort, but name of party sucks.
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Anything that offensive is NOT a noble effort. A bra decorating contest? For fucks sake, I put off bra shopping for an entire goddamn YEAR because of my mismatched breasts - and many women have only one, or none. I was practically in tears trying to find one that sort of fits.
What's next, a pissing contest for bladder cancer?
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Donating to Metavivor.org or cancer.org where all monies go to research is noble. Finding someone really in need of financial or other type of help and helping is noble. Selling pink shit is not.
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Donating money to good causes is nice, but not necessarily noble. And doing something offensive to help raise that money is neither nice nor noble. We'll just have to agree to disagree on this.
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My donations is that I make bookmarks for my local cancer center. I use my leftover craft supplies from projects for them. I did this because I noticed that people would bring books and wouldn’t have any way to mark their page when they stopped reading.
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